[ASB Quest] I liek Squirtles vs Blastoise

[I liek Squirtles]

Ach, sorry for the confusion. I'll be more specific from now on.

Awesome job, Mr. Gassatoo!! We're almost there! The first time Blastoise uses Thunderbolt, use Torment. Protect if she tries to confuse you, attract you, or put you to sleep. Use Hurricane otherwise.

Torment/Protect/Hurricane x3

 

[Keldeo]

Sorry for the delay! Let’s go with two Yawns and then a Thunderbolt. If you get fully paralyzed or hit yourself in confusion, push all your actions back by one.

Yawn ~ Yawn ~ Thunderbolt / Yawn

 

[Eifie]

Hi, I'm picking this battle back up! I'm liable to promptly forget that I did this, so please remind me if I haven't done anything here by the weekend!

 

[Eifie]

sry if you guys wanted a serious reffing
if you want a serious reffing i am not ur guy

Round Eleven​

I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 45%
Energy: 74%
Status: Primed for destruction.

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 33%
Energy: 37%
Status: Feels in a bad spot. Severely paralyzed (23% chance of failure). Surrounded by Aqua Ring (1% health/action). 0 Chills left. Thunderbolt mimicked. +2 Defense, +1 Special Attack.

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Mr. Gassatoo the INTIMIDATING SEA MONSTER focuses his INTIMIDATING GAZE on his PUNY-ASS NERD of an opponent all like, WHATCHA GOT FOR ME NOW PUNK, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M IN THE TOP PERCENTAGE OF GYARADOS AND I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN NUMEROUS ASB QUEST BATTLES, COME AT ME YOU INSIPID WORM or some shit.

Blastoise yawns.

OH SHIT, thinks Mr. Gassatoo, AH FUCK ABORT ABORT ABORT

Mr. Gassatoo cowers behind a rock jutting out of the raging waters, curled up with his tail in his mouth, teeth chattering in PURE UNADULTERATED TERROR. A transparent bubble of protective energy that he summons up around himself is all that stands between him and the BEAST that is that fucking yawn. It's his last hope. His only lifeline. The hope of humanity is riding on that fucking energy bubble.

A moment passes, and Mr. Gassatoo timidly peers out from his hiding spot.

Blastoise yawns again.

OH FUCK IT KEEPS HAPPENING, thinks Mr. Gassatoo as he hurriedly ducks back behind his rock. His one solace. His saviour. His hero. Praise the motherfucking rock. He closes his eyes and concentrates hard and feels his focus slipping for a moment but manages to bring up another energy shield to block out THAT SOUND THAT HORRIBLE SOUND.

An eternity passes (some might say 10 months and 18 days). Is it over yet?? Fuck knows. Finally there's just nothing for it but for Mr. Gassatoo to sheepishly emerge back into view, watching his opponent carefully for another DEATH YAWN.

Blastoise does not death yawn. It slowly, stiffly points its shoulder cannons in Mr. Gassatoo's direction, grunting in annoyance at the extra effort the simple movement requires thanks to the residual electricity just chilling around in its muscles. (Or maybe it's just getting old and creaky. This has been a really long battle.) Static crackles in the air as an electrical charge builds up in its cannons. Mr. Gassatoo gulps. An instant later Blastoise looses two twin bolts of DESTRUCTION Mr. Gassatoo's way and the Gyarados writhes in agony as the DEATH RAY courses through his body oh shit oh fuck oh please mama come find me and take me home.

Finally the electricity fizzles out and Mr. Gassatoo is fuckin READY because HOW DARE THAT REPREHENSIBLE NOGOODNIK TURN HIS OWN ATTACK AGAINST HIM. NO WAY IS BLASTOISE ENOUGH OF A CHAD LIKE HIM TO BE ABLE TO USE THUNDERBOLT ON ITS OWN NO SIREE. "FOR SHAME," barks the Gyarados indignantly. "DON'T YOU GOT ANYTHING MORE ORIGINAL TO DO THAN THE THUNDERBOLTS. THE LIGHTNING RAYS. THE DISCHARGE BEAMS. THE ELECTRICITY ZIGZAGS. THE SPARKY SKEWERS. THE FULMINATION EMANATIONS."

Blastoise's ears droop. It does not in fact have anything better to do than the fulmination emanations. Does it? Maybe? Maybe it should try something else. Maybe the fans don't like to watch the big impressive quest battle foe repeatedly spam a 4x SE move. Who knows?

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I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 21%
Energy: 66%
Status: MAMA TAKE ME HOOOOOME
Used: Protect ~ Protect ~ Torment

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 36%
Energy: 20%
Status: Discouraged... Severely paralyzed (19% chance of failure). Tormented (5 more actions). Surrounded by Aqua Ring (1% health/action). 0 Chills left. Thunderbolt mimicked. +1 Attack, +2 Defense, +1 Special Attack.
Used: Yawn ~ Yawn ~ Thunderbolt

Arena Status

• The rain is pouring down. A harsh wind howls through the arena.

Damage and Energy

• Mr. Gassatoo's Health: 45% - 24% (Thunderbolt) = 21%
• Mr. Gassatoo's Energy: 74% - 2% (Protect) - 2% (Protect) - 4% (Torment) = 66%
• Blastoise's Health: 33% + 3% (Aqua Ring) = 36%
• Blastoise's Energy: 37% - 4% (Yawn) - 4% (Yawn) - 9% (Thunderbolt) = 20%

Notes

• Speed order: Mr. Gassatoo (81) > Blastoise (19).
• Kinda think successive Protects should cost more energy if they do succeed, but meh. I just got back so I don't want to do anything too fancy.
• Blastoise failed the paralysis check in the third action. Thunderbolt doesn't require much movement so it still succeeded, just cost 3% extra energy.
• Reminder to self that Blastoise has 8 EXP. (Pretty sure this wasn't accounted for for a lot of this battle...)
• Mr. Gassatoo is, uh, no longer very intimidating after cowering behind a shield from Blastoise's Yawns for most of this round and then getting hit by that Thunderbolt, so the stat reduction from Intimidate is no longer in effect.
• not proofreading this glgl
• Keldeo commands first.

 

[Keldeo]

I kind of forgot my original plan for this round so I was going to just do like Hydro Cannon ~ Hydro Pump ~ Hyper Beam. But that's not as fun as continuing to have the big impressive quest battle foe repeatedly spam a 4x SE move!

Protect ~ Thunderbolt ~ Protect

 

[I liek Squirtles]

BIG OOF

i am fully ready to give this guy another go if i can't pull this one out of the gutter

Okay so! First order of business. Dive down action 1, wait for thunderbolt, then combo frustration+coming out of dive.

Dive down ~ Dive up+Frustration(wait for thunderbolt)

 

[Eifie]

imagine attempting to write serious reffings in this day and age

Round Twelve​

I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 21%
Energy: 66%
Status: MAMA TAKE ME HOOOOOME

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 36%
Energy: 20%
Status: Discouraged... Severely paralyzed (19% chance of failure). Tormented (5 more actions). Surrounded by Aqua Ring (1% health/action). 0 Chills left. Thunderbolt mimicked. +1 Attack, +2 Defense, +1 Special Attack.

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"ALAS QUEEN OF THE ADVERB," Mr. Gassatoo continues to rant. "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU COUNTED ON THE REALITY THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN MY HOUSE NOW."

Taken aback by the harsh, biting reality of Mr. Gassatoo's poignant words, Blastoise has no choice. It must withdraw. With a quick effort of will it summons up a sphere of transparent energy around itself, blocking out the Gyarados' tirade.

Mr. Gassatoo is incensed. "HOW DARE YOU," he roars indignantly. "IT SHALL BE I WHO THREATEN NOT CONTINUE!" With this last blistering taunt he plunges beneath the surface and disappears from sight.

For a moment everything is quiet. Well, except for the wind howling and the rain beating down relentlessly and all that shit. It's almost peaceful. Blastoise soons grows bored of waiting for Mr. Gassatoo to re-emerge and begins building up more electrical energy in its cannons. It waits a bit more. Still Mr. Gassatoo does not resurface. Eventually Blastoise can't hold the electrical charge back any longer. It aims its cannons at the water, roughly where Mr. Gassatoo went under, and unleashes yet another Thunderbolt into the roaring waves. The electricity disperses through the water in all directions, and from somewhere beneath the surface comes a faint, warbling howl of pain. The effort of loosing the attack makes Blastoise's vision fade in and out and it stumbles slightly, but still manages a satisfied smirk.

Mr. Gassatoo's roars grow steadily louder as he approaches the surface at top speed. An instant later he surfaces and slams headfirst into Blastoise from behind, sending Blastoise tumbling facefirst into the sea. He clobbers his foe relentlessly with his tail, ranting all the while: "I SHALL NOW DESCRIBE TO YOU THE NATURE OF THE SAMOSA BATH: IT'S POWERFUL—"

Oh, no. Not more of this crap. Blastoise's vision is swimming (haha get it?) and its muscles are still stiff and its body is battered and it takes a whole lot of work to materialize another protective bubble around itself to block out the sound. The shield wavers in and out of existence as Blastoise's will nearly collapses from the effort of sustaining it. The mere act of staying afloat is getting too much for it now. Why is it even still awake, anyway...?

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I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 11%
Energy: 57%
Status: ... COMPLETE WITH HORNS, CLAWS, AND HOOFS
Used: Dive (down) ~ Dive (up) + Frustration ~ nothing

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 30%
Energy: 5%
Status: Nearly spent. Moderately paralyzed (15% chance of failure). Tormented (2 more actions). Surrounded by Aqua Ring (1% health/action). 0 Chills left. Thunderbolt mimicked. +1 Attack, +2 Defense, +1 Special Attack.
Used: Protect ~ Thunderbolt ~ Protect

Arena Status

• The rain is pouring down. A harsh wind howls through the arena.

Damage and Energy

• Mr. Gassatoo's Health: 21% - 10% (Thunderbolt) = 11%
• Mr. Gassatoo's Energy: 66% - 3% (Dive (down)) - 6% (Dive (up) + Frustration) = 57%
• Blastoise's Health: 36% - 9% (Dive (up) + Frustration) + 3% (Aqua Ring) = 30%
• Blastoise's Energy: 20% - 2% (Protect) - 9% (Thunderbolt) - 4% (Protect) = 5%

Notes

• Speed order: Mr. Gassatoo (81) > Blastoise (26).
• So, stuff like Thunderbolt can be used on a Pokémon that's underwater, but it wasn't commanded to attack the water if needed here. But also a Pokémon won't just randomly aim an attack at nothing if it knows it can't hit. It'll either do nothing if it definitely can't hit, or try aiming in the opponent's direction if it thinks there's a chance it might be able to get it. So I'll say Blastoise attacked the water here, and Thunderbolt hit at reduced base power. (That answer is for attacks made and aimed underwater, so I weakened the Thunderbolt to 25% its base power instead because Blastoise didn't really know where to aim.)
• Ugh why you gotta make me do work with combos. I'll say Dive (up) + Frustration at this point is a 100 BP Water-type move that costs 7% base energy.
• Blastoise failed the paralysis check on the third action. Protect doesn't actually require any movement so it just cost 2% more energy.
• I liek Squirtles commands first.

 

[I liek Squirtles]

Here goes nothing... time for a hail mary!! From downtown!!

Rest~Chill~Snore

 

[Keldeo]

I think it's impossible for us to win at this point because there's only 5% energy left and no chills, so let's try to go out with some theatricality. Use Hydro Cannon downward on the waves to lift yourself into the air!

Hydro Cannon (down) x3

 

[Eifie]

Round Thirteen​

I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 11%
Energy: 57%
Status: ... COMPLETE WITH HORNS, CLAWS, AND HOOFS

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 30%
Energy: 5%
Status: Nearly spent. Moderately paralyzed (15% chance of failure). Tormented (2 more actions). Surrounded by Aqua Ring (1% health/action). 0 Chills left. Thunderbolt mimicked. +1 Attack, +2 Defense, +1 Special Attack.

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All this ranting really tires a Gyarados out, you know? It's a lot of work coming up with golden insults of the calibre Mr. Gassatoo unleashed upon his foe last round. Well, you probably wouldn't know. You're not on Mr. Gassatoo's level. Don't feel too bad about it, though. We can't all be gods.

So now it is time for the legendary Mr. Gassatoo to descend into peaceful slumber, from which he will not be woken for nigh a thousand years, until humanity needs him most. Mr. Gassatoo ignores such trifles as the fierce storm raging around him, the turbulent waters, the crashing waves, and, well, that big ol' Blastoise that's kind of been kicking his ass for the past while. Whatever. The Gyarados closes his eyes and curls in on himself in a spiral shape, sinking slowly in the water as he lets go of consciousness. A soft white glow surrounds his body and his bruises begin to fade.

Meanwhile, Blastoise just doesn't give a fuck about this battle anymore. It'd be down to join in on naptime itself, but quest foes aren't allowed to do that. It's in the contract. But like, fuck the rules, man. This ends now. Blastoise points its shoulder cannons downward and takes a deep breath as it summons up all the strength it has left. This is it. It's gonna be epic. They'll be talking about this ending for years to come. Water builds up in its cannons and Blastoise lets out a MIGHTY ROAR—

...
...
...

— a pathetic little dribble of water trickles out of its shoulder cannons, and the giant turtle promptly keels over sideways, unconscious.

------------------------------​

I liek Squirtles (1/2 left)

Mr. Gassatoo ♂
Ability: Intimidate
Health: 100%
Energy: 12%
Status: Zzz...
Used: Rest

Blastoise

Blastoise ♀ @ Water Stone
Ability: Rain Dish Insomnia
Health: 30%
Energy: 0%
Status: Knocked out!
Used: Hydro Cannon

Arena Status

• The rain is pouring down. A harsh wind howls through the arena.

Damage and Energy

• Mr. Gassatoo's Health: 11% + 89% (Rest) = 100%
• Mr. Gassatoo's Energy: 57% - 45% (Rest) = 12%
• Blastoise's Health: 30%
• Blastoise's Energy: 5% - 10% (Hydro Cannon) = 0%

Notes

• ILS wins! He gets $15 and his choice of a Water Stone or Mystic Water. ｂｉｒｔｈ gains 1 EXP and Mr. Gassatoo gains 2 EXP.
• This could've ended last round if Mr. Gassatoo had just Thundered the last Protect to make Blastoise waste energy, btw :p
• idk if I have to do anything else, I would do end-of-battle pleasantries or something but I really want to go to sleep so just have this lol bye

 

[Keldeo]

Whoo, good game! This was a fun one :D

 

[I liek Squirtles]

Thanks so much, Eifie and Keldeo, for making this a fantastic battle! It was a very fun time and quite a nail-biter.

I'll take the Water Stone!

 

[Eifie]

Trinket please resolve:

- $15 + a Water Stone for ILS
- 1 EXP for birth
- 2 EXP for Mr. Gassatoo
- whatever reward Keldeo gets

 

[Trinket]

I've dealt with this now. Still not sure what Keldeo and Eifie should get; currently the db has given them the usual prize ($8 and $5 respectively).

(Having noted that, I guess I'm just gonna it leave there for the time being; last time I took it away again because I figured it'd be easier to just do that and then give the full prize later than to keep track of how much they already had.)