FMC_x_ANS
New member
Blue Moon
It’s seven o’clock, the sun is beginning its curtsy to the moon sending waves of golden light across the horizon and I, a lone male, stand alone with my back against the stone wall that surrounds the Wentworth’s Academy for Ladies. The school’s extracurricular programs end around five, so I am not too concerned when I twist myself to look through the school gate and spy an empty courtyard.
The odd thing is that I don’t even understand why I came as early as I did. Normally my step-brother Jacob is the one to walk our sister from school, but today he was forced to work late at his job. I had jumped at the chance to escort her for no apparent reason. My eyes close, and I wonder if I should have ever pushed Sydney to join a club. But really, I know that it really isn’t the reason.
I exit from reminisce at the sound of foot steps. The air warms as I bring my head up to see my step-sister in front of me. She is in the dress that she bought for dance club, and the gentle embroidery snares my vision.
“Is something wrong Brother? You look kind of dazed.” She questions me with a single step forward.
I raise my hands in front of me to fend off the embarrassment. “Huh? Oh! I um, are you ready to go?”
My sister frowns concernedly at the sputter of vowels that come out of my mouth. “You idiot, you shouldn’t be standing out here like that, you probably got a cold now. Stupid. Honestly, why does father demand that I be walked home?” She hisses in an unladylike way, turning around and crossing her arms in protest.
“ Well… Um…” I stutter as I try to find a proper retort. The feeling of blood rushes into my cheeks at her scolding. It's like she was able to swap my name with fathers and burden me with blame. “He probably doesn’t want his daughter getting molested. I mean, you are beautiful Sydney.”
She exhales and turns around to me again, but the poise in her expression is lost momentarily. For a second she looks at me with disbelieving eyes. It’s odd, we both stand and look at each other until Sydney finally steps pass me with a flustered shake of her head.
“W w w well. Fine, I guess that is a good enough reason. I wouldn’t be able to persuade Father otherwise even if I wanted to, so let’s just get home.” She says with puffed cheeks.
The walk home from the school is silent. Sydney is pondering something as she walks and I don’t feel very talkative. The streets are empty sparing the occasional car that drives by. It’s a real suburban afternoon. Suburbia, all suburbia. So much boring suburbia that my mind starts to wander with my eyes to the dark black shape that dances in the wind.
I surprise myself, realizing I had never noticed how brilliant my own sister’s hair was. I think back to the last I touched it, but I can’t remember. It must be soft though, she always wakes herself an hour early to bathe and brush her hair so it simply makes sense that it is so. “But…” I think with a voice inaudible.
I think about my memories with her, going back to the earliest mention that my mind has of her. A picture in my mind. A girl standing behind a venetian styled window, with eyes of smooth clear glass and a slightly agape mouth that breathes without noise. She looks down and is confused at why a boy who is so filled with joy and attended by the playful antics of a friend, is beaconing for her.
I nod contently as I continue to follow a few steps behind my sister. That was definitely my first memory of her, and I can even recall thinking how much fun it would if she could play with us. I smile and look at her, and to my surprise she was already looking at me. Her arms are crossed on top of her bosom, but her face is more worried then angry.
"…Brother, are you sure you are alright? This is the second time you spaced out this hour."
Sydney brings me back into reality with her comment, and the return to consciousness fills my eyes with a great change of scenery. It was a big surprise as just moments ago it seemed that we were departing I think to myself, looking around.
“…Well, whatever idiot. I am sure you’ll make it to the door at least.”
She walks herself through the gate to the mansion’s grounds hurriedly, and I follow behind her silently with my eyes to the ground. Her voice seems… I don’t know exactly how to describe it. Angry? Dissatisfied? Exasperated? She is a hard girl to understand at times and thinking of her makes my head hurt at times, but the air is a bit cooler on the path due to the forest that encircles the building, which leaves a pleasant caress upon my brow as I ponder. I relax from the cool touch of the breeze and stretch my arms out with a sigh. My eyes raise from the ground to Sydney again.
“Thump.”
I feel the sound just within my ear, and a strange nausea comes to me.
I am assailed with the feeling I had earlier when I saw her in that dress. I try to recall exactly what that feeling was, but my brain is out of tune.
No, my brain isn’t out of tune. Am I trying to not let myself know the feeling? If so, why not? My breathing dances as I steel myself to evoke the feeling I had from before, trying to bring forth the memories that I knew were there. I am far to stubborn to let something as small as myself stop me.
She was standing there, holding her bag in front of her with both hands. The dark blue bottom of the dress was wavering in the breeze going taut around her hips. From her hips came the light blue top that hugged against her shoulders and breasts. Her surprised expression, her gentle sway.
“Thump.”
I suddenly become aware of Sydney as she stands in the doorway with an exasperated face. She says something, but I don’t pay attention. No, my attention is being taken up by a revelation I make as I step through the door.
I avoid seeing Sydney for the rest of the day. With my newest discovery I know that it would be impossible to face her without blushing. I wouldn’t want to give her such ammunition to antagonize me with… And more importantly I don’t want to hurt her. Lying on my bed I think about how important she is to me.
It gets dark, but not dark at the same time. I must be dreaming. It makes sense, since I was lying down on my bed. Now in the darkness that is not darkness, I contemplate my dreaming; Another picture, the girl again.
But she isn’t behind a window in this picture, instead she is standing in a doorframe. Her glass eyes are cracked and look at the camera inquisitively timid.
Oh, I remember this memory. It was the start of Jacob’s birthday sleepover. I was first one over and Jacob and his mother had left to pick up the rest of the guests. I was keeping to myself in Jacob’s room while playing with some legos when his little sister showed up. We ended up playing for about half an hour. She played wordlessly without a smile until we heard the main entrance to the mansion flood with the rest of Jacob’s guests. That was when she gave me a smile and thanked me without words before disappearing back to her room.
“Nimmins! Get down here, dinner is ready!” The voice is annoying and mercilessly slashes away at the dream until I am left with the image of my own eyelid. I surrender and roll out of my bed to the dining hall.
The dinning hall seems unusually oppressive tonight, but it is only I that seems to notice. My step-brother busily describes his job to my step-mother, who nods with a smattering of interjections. I just silently let my fork deliver the noodles from my plate to my mouth, afraid of looking across the table. Something in me tells me I really shouldn’t look up, and that if I do it’ll be terribly embarrassing. My step-sister must have the same thoughts as well, as she hasn’t spoken nor done anything other than eat since she came to dinner. Eventually Jacob finishes his conversation and the table descends into an awkward silence.
“… May I be excused mother?” Sydney asks, piercing the choir of silverware. My step-mother nods with a hushed “Yes”, to which Sydney stands up and walks to the door to the sitting room. I do what I shouldn’t at look up at her as she leaves her chair. She is looking right at me for a moment, before she shuffles off to the sitting room and then beyond. The rest of the family then retires in a silent fashion over the course of ten minutes. I am befuddled by the strange sensations in my spine, so I decide to return to my room.
Yet I am preceeded by Sydney, who shivers in front of the window of my room looking down to her side as I come in. “Are you cold?” I ask, not minding the fact she is in my room unannounced.
“Stupid…” Sydney replies, but she says it softly and turns to approach me with her head down. She takes my hand with both of her own and looks to me. “Brother…” Her voice sounds stressed, like she is about to cry. Yet before I can ask of her being, she presses my hand against her chest. All the thoughts I had, all the concern and worry I had about her dissolve into a state between calm and panic. I can only stare first at where my hand is, and shake with tension.
“Idiot… Stupid stupid idiot.” She whimpers to me, holding my hand against her chest like a scared child would with a doll.
My face rises to her eyes with ragged breath from my half opened lips. I want to tell her I am sorry, that she is right and that I am a terrible idiot, that I am dense and thick headed. But I see the blue moon behind her and I feel strangely happy and scared at the same time.
“Yea, I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. I’ve felt the same for a long time too.” My voice fills the silence and I am happy. I realized why those pictures were important to me, and that alone fills my heart and turns the moon to gold.
Last edited:
