Drabble-O-Matic

[Flareth]

http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

It's basically a mad lib where you put in two characters and some words and it generates a love story deal.

It's much more hilarious than it sounds. Go ahead, try it.

I'll post some results later.

 

[DarkAura]

A Bottle In Time

On a smart and red morning, Artemis sat on the stove. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her leg ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Timmy to love someone with a skinny arm?

Happily, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like an ugly beautiful chair, all on a summer's day. I wish my Timmy would punch me, in his own young way..."

"Do you?" Timmy sat down beside Artemis and put his hand on Artemis's finger. "I think that could be arranged."

Artemis gasped skippily. "But what about my skinny arm?"

"I like it," Timmy said huskily. "I think it's dumb."

They came together and their kiss was Like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land.

"I love you," Artemis said angrily.

"I love you too," Timmy replied and punched her.

They bought a cat, moved in together, and lived hungrily ever after.

Yes.

 

[bulbasaur]

I think this produces higher-quality literature than the average piece of fanfiction.

 

[Ulqi-chan]

Lol, since I was already set in the roleplay mood, I used some characters from Masque Carnivalia for the heck of it.
Surprisingly, a lot of stuff I put in worked! XD

Ivory Love

Connor finished packing. Ever since Celest, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Connor had been sweet.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing kissed him, all was purple. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going under the sea to become an unintentional carnie.

Just then, there was a lovely knock at the door. Connor opened it and stood there apologetically for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his wrist.

When Connor came to, Celest was holding his neck and looking shakily. "My love," Celest said lovingly, "I'm sorry for the tangy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a beautiful island for the last ten years, living like a happy little couple stranded in an enchanted by creepy carnival by the name of Masque Carnivalia. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my forehead in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Connor could hardly believe his Celest had returned. "I will always love you, forehead or no forehead. Besides, you can cover it up with a ring."

They embraced embracingly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was masked.

AND AND
A bleach themed one. Yay.

The Miracle Of The ARNOLD

Grimmjow hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a BAWSS playing his boombox on Tuesday, then hearing a suckish song come on and throwing it to the ground. He loathed it.

Every December, Grimmjow would feel himself getting all gaysome inside. He refused to put up a Christmas Dragonite, he snapped at anyone chalk-like enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Grimmjow had to go to the mall to buy a quickly German shepard. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing foolishly around and so much Christmas music blaring confidently, he thought his lips would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a retarded man collecting for charity. Grimmjow never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the retarded man dropped his bells and ran ON A BOAT LIKE A BAWSS. There was a cloudy ARNOLD right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the retarded man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Grimmjow rushed out and it-seems-like-we're-simply-meant-to-be-ly pushed them both out of the way. There was a cat-eyed bang and then everything went dark.

When Grimmjow woke up, he was in a blue room. There was a Christmas Dragonite in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Grimmjow's arm hurt. A lot.

The retarded man came into the room. "I'm so shimmering!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Ichigo. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."

Grimmjow hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas Dragonite up and his arm was broken, he felt quite three-starred, especially when he looked at Ichigo.

"Your arm must hurt gleefully," Ichigo said. "I think this will help." And he pwned Grimmjow several times.

Now Grimmjow felt very three-starred indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Ichigo. "I love you," he said, and kissed Ichigo gloomily.

"I love you too," said Ichigo. Just then, the ARNOLD ran into the room and nuzzled Grimmjow's cheek. "I brought him home with us," Ichigo said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Grimmjow said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

 

[Monoking]

=3

I Saw Trunks Kissing Santa Claus

Richie woke up in the middle of the night. She was thirsty and so she decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, she couldn't wait to see her presents. There was one ashy box that looked like a hat.

Then Richie noticed that Trunks was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Richie thought that she would surprise Trunks. Maybe even sneak up behind him and kiss him on his face. That always made Trunks soupy.

Richie crept spunky-ily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its lights, and the presents, heaped up awesome-saucliy, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Trunks. Kissing someone.

Richie was so angry, she picked up a hat's hat from a table and threw it awesomely hi'ived.

They both looked around.

"Trunks, you spunky Raichu!" Richie yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Richie looked and then rubbed her arm and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Trunks said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Richie said skippily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be ."

That seemed reasonable. Richie went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, ...You're sweet.. He made Richie's leg feel all dumb.

"You see?" Trunks said skippily and Richie saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

 

[Zero Moment]

Oh my god, any John/Karkat story is hilarious.

I have screencaps of about 3 stories and the words used for the blanks for anyone who wants them :33

 

[Worst Username Ever]

oh god I made one of those long ago with a friend after showing it to her

Confused Love

Spongebob finished packing. Ever since Voldemort, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Spongebob had been tasty.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing licked him, all was dead. So today, Valentine’s Day, he was going on the internet to become a high washing machine.

Just then, there was a pulsating knock at the door. Spongebob opened it and stood there horribly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his earhole.

When Spongebob came to, Voldemort was holding his armpit and looking hairy. “My love,” Voldemort said sexily, “I’m sorry for the invisible shock. I’ve been shipwrecked on a huge island for the last ten years, living like a boss. I was only rescued last week.” He paused. “I lost my nose in the wreck. Can you still love me?”

Spongebob could hardly believe his Voldemort had returned. “I will always love you, nose or no nose. Besides, you can cover it up with a toaster.”

They embraced nakedly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was drunk.

so that's how he lost his nose
The toaster thing is now a inside joke between us.

 

[sv_01]

I'm Dreaming Of A Scary Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Caithlin sat quickly in space, sipping strange eggnog.

She looked at the glowing shoe hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Howard had hung it there, just before they looked at each other unusually and then fell into each other's arms and killed each other's leg.

If only I hadn't been so purple, Caithlin thought, pouring a magnificent amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Howard might not have got so enormous and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away an ancient tear and held her head in her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a dark voice lifted slightly up in song.



I'm dreaming of a scary Christmas

Just like a sea anemone patiently awaiting its prey



Caithlin ran to the door. It was Howard, looking sharp all over with snow.

"I missed you carefully," Howard said. "And I wanted to kill your leg again."

Caithlin hugged Howard and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Howard said.

"I think so too," Caithlin said and they killed each other's leg until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted octopus nose and lived curiously until Caithlin got drunk again.

 

[Flora]

So I'm on a Chocobo's Dungeon kick and this...this...

The Silent Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Cid strode along the path, making for Iridescent Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Phone-shaped Frying pan, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Finger.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his rainbow knife just in time to face the pink woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck huskily, and Cid barely raised his knife to meet the attack. They fought long and sleepily until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Cid found himself forced to one knee, the woman's knife pressed to his magical nose. "I am Shirma of Iridescent Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Phone-shaped Frying pan. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a boat."

But Cid had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his knife with a twist, overpowered Shirma and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Cid said, looking down upon her.

Shirma's chin shimmered like a fish out of water. "I have underestimated you, Cid. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Cid's desire was enflamed. His nose throbbed and all his thoughts were to spin Shirma like a cow. Cid caressed Shirma's quiet chin and she responded. They came together drunkily, and their joining was as colorful as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet egg!" Cid groaned and spun Shirma as noisily as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Cid said. "That's where I put the Phone-shaped Frying pan for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed quickly on the grass, forgetful of all but their round love. "We will stay together forever," Shirma said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Finger never got the Phone-shaped Frying pan and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.

...greatest pseudo-sex-scene ever.

(I WAS LOOKING AT MY CELL PHONE WHEN I DID THIS OKAY)

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

The Adventure Of The Pikachu

Ash and Cilan were out for a closed Valentine's walk in a tree. As they went, Cilan rested his hand on Ash's groin. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so happy, Ash was filled with undecided dread.

"Do you suppose it's iffy here?" he asked intricately.

"You green silly," Cilan said, tickling Ash with his pancakes. "It's completely white."

Just then, a bubbly pikachu leapt out from behind a trainer and unbuckled Cilan in the cheek. "Aaargh!" Cilan screamed.

Things looked rose-tinged. But Ash, although he was glistening, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a conneiseur and, like a cinnamon bun that has the most glaze, beat the pikachu masterfully until it ran off. "That will teach you to giggle innocent people."

Then he clasped Cilan close. Cilan was bleeding rapidly. "My darling," Ash said, and pressed his lips to Cilan's hand.

"I love you," Cilan said clumsily, and expired in Ash's arms.

Ash never loved again.

bwahahahahahaa racist Cilan and omigod this thing this thing

 

[HeartHoppip]

Emaculate Love

Emilia finished packing. Ever since Hibbert, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Emilia had been disproportionate.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing pushed her, all was lovely. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going on a countertop to become a dirty sofa.

Just then, there was a hideous knock at the door. Emilia opened it and stood there softly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her arm.

When Emilia came to, Hibbert was holding her foot and looking clean. "My love," Hibbert said speedily, "I'm sorry for the proportinal shock. I've been shipwrecked on a stunning island for the last ten years, living like a solar eclipse casting darkness over everything. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my hand in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Emilia could hardly believe her Hibbert had returned. "I will always love you, hand or no hand. Besides, you can cover it up with a bed."

They embraced hardly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was grotesque.

That was... Interesting?

 

[Luxcario]

Beedrill and Butterfree
by William Shakespeare

Enter Beedrill

Butterfree appears above at a window

Beedrill:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the palm tree, and Butterfree is the raccoon.
Arise, multicoloured raccoon, and eat the heavy Slowbro.
See, how she leans her knee upon her neck!
O, that I were a glove upon that neck,
That I might touch that knee!

Butterfree:
O Beedrill, Beedrill! wherefore art thou Beedrill?
What's in a name? That which we call an ear
By any other name would smell as eggy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a huge pie that makes everyone happy with its tastiness"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove big.

Beedrill:
Lady, by yonder heavy Slowbro I swear
That tips on a boat the funny egg--

Butterfree:
O, swear not by the Slowbro, the scary Slowbro,
That terribly changes in its lovely orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise lovely.
Sweet, flying night! A thousand times flying night!
Parting is such explosive sorrow,
That I shall say flying night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Beedrill:
Sleep dwell upon thy knee, peace in thy neck!
Would I were sleep and peace, so weirdly to rest!
beautifully will I to my multicoloured ear's cell,
Its help to eat, and my eggy ear to tell.

Hee hee hee.

The Moth-ridden Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Twilight Sparkle hit Rainbow Dash in her tail with a big huge iceball. It hurt a lot, but Twilight Sparkle kissed it angrily and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really creepy snow man!" Twilight Sparkle said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Rainbow Dash said. "That would be more ugly and politically correct."

"I know," Twilight Sparkle said. "We can make a snow pony. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up weirdly and made a light snow pony. Twilight Sparkle put on a Rarity for the hoof. The pony was almost as big as Rainbow Dash.

"It looks furry," Twilight Sparkle said happily. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Rainbow Dash said and held up a disgusting Applejack. "I found this in Equestria." She put the Applejack onto the pony's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the pony, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a gummy bear.

Rainbow Dash screamed funnily and ran but the snow pony chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow pony ate her tiredly.

"Nobody does that to my little Horrid Pinkie Pie," Twilight Sparkle screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow pony through the cutie mark. It fell down and Twilight Sparkle kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Rainbow Dash said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The Applejack lay in the yard until an egg-flavoured child picked it up and took it home.

 

[sv_01]

The Ghostly Terror Of The Snow

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Arceus and Giratina went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Arceus hit Giratina in her leg with a big amorphous iceball. It hurt a lot, but Arceus kissed it slowly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really shadowy snow man!" Arceus said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Giratina said. "That would be more creative and politically correct."

"I know," Arceus said. "We can make a snow Jellicent. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up calmly and made a strange snow Jellicent. Arceus put on a cloud for the claw. The Jellicent was almost as big as Giratina.

"It looks majestic," Arceus said protectively. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Giratina said and held up a powerful wave. "I found this in Turnback cave." She put the wave onto the Jellicent's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Jellicent, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a Xatu, extending tentacles of mind from his feathery armor.

Giratina screamed mysteriously and ran but the snow Jellicent chased her until she tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Jellicent possessed her dreamily.

"Nobody does that to my little Multidimensional Rock," Arceus screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Jellicent through the wing. It fell down and Arceus kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Giratina said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The wave lay in the yard until a gray child picked it up and took it home.

Ehh... I think the stuff in this story actually makes some sense. Maybe except the part where the Jellicent has a wing.

EDIT: And a claw.

 

[Cap'n Sofa]

I Saw Maria Kissing Santa Claus

Dick Brickerton woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one recalcitrate box that looked like a bottle of potassium permanganate.

Then Dick Brickerton noticed that Maria was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Dick Brickerton thought that he would surprise Maria. Maybe even sneak up behind her and stab her on her colorful eye. That always made Maria destructive.

Dick Brickerton crept evilly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its rampaging lights, and the presents, heaped up wonderfully, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Maria. Kissing someone.

Dick Brickerton was so angry, he picked up a website from a table and threw it quickly in the torture chamber.

They both looked around.

"Maria, you friendly goliath beetle!" Dick Brickerton yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Dick Brickerton looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Maria said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a smelly kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Dick Brickerton said bloodily. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be sinister."

That seemed reasonable. Dick Brickerton went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a lawnmower that travels the world, decapitating people as it goes and leaving none alive in its bloody wake. He made Dick Brickerton's pancreas feel all peristeronic.

"You see?" Maria said half-assedly and Dick Brickerton saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

FUN TIMES.

 

[sv_01]

The Miracle Of The Jellyfish

Euphrosine hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it like the sun, firing its Death Rays on the cold-shelled land. She loathed it.

Every December, Euphrosine would feel herself getting all imposing inside. She refused to put up a Christmas cloud, she snapped at anyone enormous enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Euphrosine had to go to the mall to buy an ancient snowflake. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing calmly around and so much Christmas music blaring seductively, she thought her mouth would explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was an enormous man collecting for charity. Euphrosine never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the enormous man dropped his bells and ran on a glacier. There was a sparkling jellyfish right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the enormous man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Euphrosine rushed out and victoriously pushed them both out of the way. There was a cold bang and then everything went dark.

When Euphrosine woke up, she was in a beautiful room. There was a Christmas cloud in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Euphrosine's eye hurt. A lot.

The enormous man came into the room. "I'm so frozen!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Reginald. You saved me from the truck. But your eye is broken."

Euphrosine hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas cloud up and her eye was broken, she felt quite blue, especially when she looked at Reginald.

"Your eye must hurt slowly," Reginald said. "I think this will help." And he crushed Euphrosine several times.

Now Euphrosine felt very blue indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Reginald. "I love you," she said, and kissed Reginald impressively.

"I love you too," said Reginald. Just then, the jellyfish ran into the room and nuzzled Euphrosine's nose. "I brought him home with us," Reginald said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Euphrosine said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.