Eifie (O)
Barfie (m) <Gluttony> @ Lansat Berry
Health: 47%
Energy: 51%
Currently: Blinking the spots out of his eyes. Has an Electric typed Hidden Power. Wearing a tiny cap.
Commands: Swagger / Thunderbolt / Natural Gift (/ sit cutely) ~ Swagger / Rain Dance / Natural Gift ~ Thunder / Rain Dance / Swagger (/ sit cutely)
Music Dragon (O)
King of Hearts (m) <Magic Guard>
Health: 42%
Energy: 42%
Currently: Flitting around the clearing placidly. Poisoned (toxic: 4% this round, 5% next.) Has a Dragon typed Hidden Power. Wielding the Crimson Shimmer Sword of Majestic Fairy Sun ~ Platinum Natural Star.
Commands: Psycho Shift ~ Psycho Shift / Trick ~ Psycho Shift / Trick / Psychic
Field Notes
-Small piles of charred and uncharred fur have collected around the clearing.
Round 5
As soon as he recovers from King of Hearts's attack, Barfie barks sharply to catch his opponent's attention. Once the Sigilyph has turned his way, he sing-songs, "Hahaa! I'm cuter than you are! And your sword is totally uncute, too. If you're a king, you have to be cute, but you're not cute, so you can't be a king!" King of Hearts flaps a little closer, ready to offer the thirty-seven rebuttals he's specifically prepared in case of this situation, but Barfie continues before he can respond. "That's a Law of Logic, and it's named after an old person because it's named after an old person. Relatedly? You aren't cute because you aren't cute. See, I actually passed tautology class, but apparently you didn't, because you're not cute. Also, I wear hats. Are you cute or not?" Barfie grins and keeps going, to King's confusion and, soon, chagrin. "Definitely not, because you aren't. (If you were wondering, your sword isn't cute or fabulous either. It's un-fabulo-cute!) Oh, oh, and, um…"
King of Hearts hopes this trailing off means that the Zigzagoon is finally running out of steam, but Barfie soon opens his mouth again. "I'll be frank with you here. (It's funny because my name isn't Frank.) What you did to my friend—the magician, you remember him?—was mean. And I used to be a magician, you know, because I used to be a magician. They called me a conjuror, but you're not cute!" The Zigzagoon goes on with his tirade, but King stops listening, instead letting his rage build up and boil over like… like a pot of pasta water
without pasta! The thought makes him want to gesture dramatically towards everything in anger and righteously shout to the heavens something along the lines of
See, this poser's got me so riled up I can't even come up with good similes! In frustration, the Sigilyph gives up trying to sharpen the Crimson Shimmer Sword of Majestic Fairy Sun in preparation for revenge and drops it, confident that Barfie won't be able to get any more insult fodder out of that train of thought. (He is wrong.) After a minute more of jabbering on about all sorts of not even tangentially related topics, connected by the bare and long-dead-horseish thread of King's uncuteness, Barfie finishes with a gleam in his eye: "…and what all that adds up to mean is, drumroll please, I'm cuter than you are! …Obviously, since that's what I said in the beginning."
This dreadful statement is the last straw on the metaphorical camel's back, resulting in said camel becoming a camel deity to the other camels, who rebel agains the people, who're just wondering where and why they wanted to ship so many straws. (Perhaps that wasn't the best way of extending the metaphor, given the current situation, but it works, kind of.) King of Hearts flaps down and bodily grabs the Crimson Shimmer Sword of Majestic Shimmer Sun, which burns and sizzles a large patch on his wing. With a shout, the incensed Sigilyph swoops down with no hint of the finesse or fluidity with which he handled the sword before, taking obviously-too-long strokes and wide swipes that Barfie is easily able to dodge. After a while more of futile effort, the hard light's prickly burning sensation becomes too much, and King of Hearts flings his sword away with a hiss to tend to his wound.
Meanwhile, Barfie laughs and runs circles around the injured Sigilyph, laying the groundwork for his next maneuver: a faint trail of bluish energy seeping into the ground around him, becoming more opaque as time passes. One moment, the sky is as clear as ever, the island neither too hot nor too cold. The next, the circle of blue lights up, shooting like a shimmering neon wall into the suddenly gray clouds gathering overhead before fading away. It starts to rain, a light patter at first but quickly building into a stormy downpour heavier than anyone present has experienced before. The water comes down in sheets, each individual drop stinging when it hits bare skin (or, in the cases of Barfie and King, fur and feathers) and turning the dirt and dust around the clearing into pools of aqueous muck. Within moments, everyone is drenched, and the storm shows no signs of stopping.
Barfie grins and shakes out some excess water, delighted his move worked, while King of Hearts retreats into the not-very-sheltering boughs of the great tree and extends a few psychic feelers. It's about time he got rid of this awful nauseating sensation, and he bets there's somewhere in the world where making it rain and poisoning kings are both illegal. Outlaws cannot be tolerated! Across the field, Barfie is flung into the air with a yelp as King's mental state hits him like a bodily blow, and as the purplish patch on the Sigilyph's face fades and shrinks, a similar blotch blossoms across Barfie's nose. King of Hearts sighs, contented that he's finally rid of
that, before noticing his target glaring at him, hackles raised and teeth bared. Without warning, a narrow yellow beam shoots upward from Barfie's back, filled with the Zigzagoon's energy; once the electricity has reached the clouds, he settles back down with a low bark as a few stray bits of static crackle about his fur. King hears a sharp, impossibly loud crackle from above—and then the bolt hits him in a flash of white, driving his face into the muddy ground like a too-large hammer. He can't close his eyes fast enough and ends up having to blink a murky film out of them, in too much pain to think of doing much else, let alone lifting off again…
The dazed Sigilyph just lies there for a few minutes, and upon regaining control of his muscles, he flaps back upward wearily, his third eye drooping. Well, if he isn't going to win this with force of will or brute force, he might as well embarrass the Zigzagoon. King of Hearts adopts his best annoying-salesperson face and flies over, imbuing his words with a faint psychic suggestion. "Hi there! Would you like this sphere of air? It's a great deal, one for just the price of… Oh, you don't look like you have enough money to buy it outright, but I'd gladly give it to you for that berry!" Of course, Barfie accepts, and King hands over his "sphere of air" before swooping in and snatching the berry. He munches thoughtfully on the snack as Barfie's expression morphs from triumphant to agitated and then furious just as King finishes the last bite, tossing the stem and leaves into a mud puddle by the tree with a smirk. The two battlers face off and glare pointedly at each other as the referee lowers her flags to end the round. While Barfie is healthier, the toxins King had transferred to him with look like they're already taking their toll, and the Zigzagoon is in a notably worse mood after the trick his opponent played on him…
Eifie (O)
Berryless Barfie (m) <Gluttony>
Health: 45%
Energy: 35%
Currently: More than ready to avenge his lost berry. Poisoned (toxic: 5%* this round, 6% next.) Has an Electric typed Hidden Power. Wearing a tiny cap.
Used: Swagger ~ Rain Dance ~ Thunder
Music Dragon (O)
King of Hearts (m) <Magic Guard>
Health: 17%
Energy: 36%
Currently: Fluttering around, guard up. Has a Dragon typed Hidden Power.
Used: (confused) ~ Psycho Shift ~ Trick
Field Notes
-It is raining (7 more actions.) Several patches of mucky and swamplike ground have formed as a result.
-The Crimson Shimmer Sword of Majestic Fairy Sun is lying on the ground near the tree, glowing as brightly as ever. A Pokemon who picks it up gains +20 Appeal, +3 Spirit, and +10% to their Magic and Luck growths and can use the special technique Natural Platinum Star, but loses 3 MP after every action in addition to their movement reduction and/or retreat cost, if any.
-Small piles of charred and uncharred fur have collected around the clearing. They're all wet now, though.
Action Notes
*: Ingame, Psycho Shift resets the poison counter, but I thought it would make more flavor sense for it to stay at the same severity. Because of the way I handle spreading toxic poison damage through the actions, this meant that King took 3% poison damage this round and Barfie took 2%. I don't think the "a Pokemon can't be poisoned with its own poison" rule really applies here, but if it does, let me know.
-I actually checked that everyone could learn all the moves they used this time… Tell me if you spot any errors in this round :s
-As with Barfie's back in round 3, King's Attack boost faded after his confusion did.
-King's and Barfie's items, both illusory and not, have been swapped, and I don't think there's anything to be lost by revealing the new items here, since both of you know what your Pokemon were originally holding, so King is now holding a Lucky Egg and Barfie an Iron Ball. The illusory Lansat Berry has been eaten by King, but since Lucky Eggs aren't consumable, he didn't actually.
-Also, once the battle ends, I'll publicly reveal who's behind the illusions, unless one of you has an objection?
MD commands next.