Nanabshuckle8
Bringer of Peace
I...think I just had a freegasm. I pretty much just lost or discarded my fear of what others think of me, I think...Or, well at least I seriously questioned it.
So, like a lot of people I hide the fact that I play pokemon, simply because other people tend to find it childish, unmanly and stupid. This seriously limited my options when it came to telling people about myself (oh how I dreaded those first days of school) since like 80% of the stuff I do has something to do with pokemon. So I lied. I was silent. I feared.
But what was I afraid of? What others thought of me? That they would laugh? That they would turn their backs on me? That they would talk shit behind my back? That I would loose all my friends?
I guess so. If you live in an environment full of idiots who are "cool", who all think the same, who live with that same fear. To stand out. To be different. To be "uncool". Of coure I was afraid. I hardly think anyone could say that they've never been afraid of what others might think.
But I no longer live in that environment. Those fears can no longer take physical or social form. I live in an evironment that is intelligent, accepting and understanding enough to not be a threat. Why should I care what others think of me? They have no power. It's my life, so why should I ever bend and form to the mindset of others?
I asked myself these questions and couldn't find any logical reason to why I should care. Let them talk, let them laugh. If they can't understand, then clearly they are idiots who don't deserve to be my friends. When I came to these conclusions I just felt like being completely free. Free from those idiots, free from the chains of hate.
Freedom has always been of high value to me, but I don't think I realised just how high until now. Perhaps I'm not lazy, perhaps it's just that I wish to be as free as possible. I can think, feel, say, do, listen to, believe in, be etc. anything/anyone (oh god, do anyone. *facepalm* But I guess that's true as well).
Sooo, I'm just very happy right now, all of the above feels a bit unsure and fuzzy so feel free to give me some rational criticism or just thoughts. But basically, I've achieved part of what I came here for. I went to the IB programme because I hoped I'd find smart and interesting people. And I did. I found a community that accepts me, and I realised that I have no reason to care about my past.
Fuck Yeah!!
So, like a lot of people I hide the fact that I play pokemon, simply because other people tend to find it childish, unmanly and stupid. This seriously limited my options when it came to telling people about myself (oh how I dreaded those first days of school) since like 80% of the stuff I do has something to do with pokemon. So I lied. I was silent. I feared.
But what was I afraid of? What others thought of me? That they would laugh? That they would turn their backs on me? That they would talk shit behind my back? That I would loose all my friends?
I guess so. If you live in an environment full of idiots who are "cool", who all think the same, who live with that same fear. To stand out. To be different. To be "uncool". Of coure I was afraid. I hardly think anyone could say that they've never been afraid of what others might think.
But I no longer live in that environment. Those fears can no longer take physical or social form. I live in an evironment that is intelligent, accepting and understanding enough to not be a threat. Why should I care what others think of me? They have no power. It's my life, so why should I ever bend and form to the mindset of others?
I asked myself these questions and couldn't find any logical reason to why I should care. Let them talk, let them laugh. If they can't understand, then clearly they are idiots who don't deserve to be my friends. When I came to these conclusions I just felt like being completely free. Free from those idiots, free from the chains of hate.
Freedom has always been of high value to me, but I don't think I realised just how high until now. Perhaps I'm not lazy, perhaps it's just that I wish to be as free as possible. I can think, feel, say, do, listen to, believe in, be etc. anything/anyone (oh god, do anyone. *facepalm* But I guess that's true as well).
Sooo, I'm just very happy right now, all of the above feels a bit unsure and fuzzy so feel free to give me some rational criticism or just thoughts. But basically, I've achieved part of what I came here for. I went to the IB programme because I hoped I'd find smart and interesting people. And I did. I found a community that accepts me, and I realised that I have no reason to care about my past.
Fuck Yeah!!
