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One-Shot Io

Is this any good?

  • Yes. This is good. I like it.

    Votes: 2 50.0%
  • Meh.

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • It's okay, but you should try writing in a different style.

    Votes: 1 25.0%
  • You Suck. If you ever write anything else I will kill you.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters

guy standing behind you

Trying to be active again!
When they found me, I was just a kid. I was alone. The only things I had with me were my clothes. I was found in the desert beyond the Dream Forest, where the Thoros live. I was given to an old couple who never had any children of their own, but they never trusted me. No one ever trusted me.
I always knew that I was different. I could always run faster than anyone else. I was always stronger. So they called me a freak. They called me different. They hated me. Everyone hated me. No one ever trusted me.

Except for Io.

I only ever had three friends. The first was my gun. It never left me. The second was my bottle, which always left, but another would replace it. The third was Io.

Io was a Thoros, one of the strange, violet-eyed people who inhabited the Dream Forest. She was special. She was the only person that I had ever met outside the boundaries of the Center. I had heard stories that the Thoros were vicious and cruel. But these were not true. She was amazing. She was kind. She was the only one I ever loved.
I tried to bring us closer, but those I knew just pushed away. They called it an abomination.

I loved her.

I knew that not everyone would want the humans and the Thoros brought closer.

Unfortunately, one person who didn't agree had a gun.

They ruined our chance.

I'm sorry.

I loved you.


Feedback is much appreciated. Thanks!
I hope I'm not reviving this, but I think this is a good little flash fiction! It has character and it's a tragic love story.

I wish it was a little more elaborate. I understand the mystery, but a bit of description of how Io looks, why the narrator was out in the forest, what these Thoros people are and why they're not considering humans besides the violet eyes and the subtle hints at their advanced skills, etc.

Making the story a little more detailed won't subtract from the brevity and bluntness of the story's intent.

Good job nonetheless! :D
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