While Metallica played a guitar solo, the trainers passed on their commands. The referee noted that they contained something... questionable. As Metallica finished a strophe (
Plague, darkness, three days long, hail to fire), the referee signaled for the Pokémon to prepare themselves. Rapidly after that, as the numerous fans cheered at Metallica, not at the battlers, in response to not the strategy and the intensity of the commands, but to the sick guitar licks, the referee waved his flags to mark the start of the round.
Pokémon
Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (
OO)
Active
Hopkins
♀ Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:83%
Energy:85%
Status: Enjoying the music
Condition:
Paralyzed (moderate, 20%),
Speed +2
Screech@Icarus/Substitute (10%) ~ X-Scissor@Grockle/Substitute (10%)/Agility ~ Bug Buzz@Grockle/Substitute (10%)/Agility
エル. (
OO)
Active
Squirtle
♂ Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:61%
Energy:83%
Status: Preparing for the round
Toxic @ Lotad ~ Brick Break @ Togepi ~ Brick Break / DynamicPunch @ Togepi
Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (
OO)
Active
Icarus
♂ Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:64%
Energy:96%
Status: Thinking about the implications of his commands
UPROAR~UPROAR~UPROAR
The Omskivar (
OO)
Active
Grockle
♂ Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:65%
Energy:84%
Status: Asleep
Condition:
Asleep (≤5 more actions)
Sleep Talk/Facade@Squirtle/Scald (sweep)~Sleep Talk/Counter~Sleep Talk/Facade@Joltik/Leech Seed@Squirtle
Round 2 begin!
As Metallica again entered the chorus, Hopkins attempted to open her mouth to let forth a Screech. However, she found that she could not. Dreading the worst, she tried again, harder this time. Her fears were confirmed, and she gave up on the commands for this round as he sat back and tried to loosen her muscles in time for the next round. Meanwhile, Squirtle produced some Toxins from somewhere inside him and spat them out at the prostrate form of Grockle, who took the attack without protest.
Icarus, who was busy enjoying the music -
So let it be written, so let it be done; I'm sent here by the chosen one - focused now, and, thinking through his commands, looked back incredulously at his trainer. Lord of the Fireflies didn't get the hint, and so, sighing, Icarus, readied himself for the fucking-up he and his trainer would receive after the battle. Steeling his resolve (
So let it be written, so let it be done), he went and blasted out an unholy cacophony to last until the rest of the song as loud as he could; rows and rows of fans turned his way and raised fingers in rude gestures while Lord of the Fireflies turned as red as a beet and slunk away in a corner and everyone struggled to hear the music - over Icarus, one could hear the conclusion of the chorus:
To kill the Pharaoh's first-born son
I'm creeping death!
Grockle, waking up, gave a long, hard stare at his alarm clock before preparing himself to retaliate any attack that may come.
Icarus had really fucking done it. Hopkins, intending to forcibly shut the little shit's mouth, trudged with all her might into the stream of sound. Preparing to X-Scissor the Togepi's mouth shut, she found himself bearing the full brunt of the Uproar. That, combined with the burning damage of Creeping Death, was enough to stop her and lock her body back into paralysis while Icarus continued to bitch around with his not-as-good-as-Metallica singing straight at her, causing her to miss some solo guitar licks.
And what sick licks did Hopkins miss! But no use crying over spilt milk; Squirtle, also enraged at the disruption of the music, landed three solid punches on Icarus which, unfortunately, did nothing at all to stop Icarus' loud inharmonious blend of notes which, in juxtaposition with Metallica, could not be called "music" at all. Presented with this new target, Icarus directed his clamour at Squirtle. Grockle, in the meanwhile, did the best he could to enjoy the music while being ready to Counter any strikes but was ultimately disappointed when none came. Then, with difficulty, one could make out Metallica merging into another motif and singing as the battlers felt the effect of the burns.
Die (die!) by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man;
Die (die!) by my hand
I creep across the land
Killing first-born man
Frustrated to no end, Hopkins just picked a target and prepared to fire a minimal-fuss attack, but then stopped herself, realizing that over Metallica and Icarus' singing, it would have no effect. So instead, she created a substitute in her own image, in the image of herself created she her; female created she her. And Hopkins blessed her. And Hopkins saw the Substitute that she had made, and, behold, it was very good. And on the seventh second Hopkins ended his work which she had made; and she rested on the seventh second and laid back and listened to Metallica.
I, Rule the midnight air, the destroyer
Born, I shall soon be there, deadly mass
I, Creep the steps and floor, final darkness
Blood, Lamb's blood painted door, I shall pass
Grockle, feeling poison seep into his system, responded with a full-out lash against Hopkins, drawing from the pent-up frustration of having acquired a status condition (admittedly not much at this point), but also from the frustration of his teammate's singing. At least it seemed like was drawing to a close, as Metallica sung the final strophe:
So let it be written,
So let it be done,
I'm sent here by the chosen one;
The blow struck Hopkins' Substitute, which Hopkins saw disintegrate before her very eyes. She glared at Grockle, who shrugged while maintaining his perpetual smile.
Unable to bear it anymore, Squirtle again gave three solid punches to Icarus in an attempt to get him to shut up. No such luck. Whatever, Metallica's song was nearly over - but Icarus had better stop before the next one.
So let it be written,
So let it be done,
To kill the Pharaoh's first-born son,
I'm Creeping Death!
Icarus was able to control himself just as Metallica finished singing. Finding himself before a screaming audience, he bowed modestly, not knowing who they were cheering for (hint: they were cheering for Metallica, not Icarus).
Round 2 end!
Damage and Energy Calculations
Action 1
Paralyzed: 1 energy (disrupted)
Toxic: 4 energy
Sleep Talk => Endure: 3 energy
Uproar @ Hopkins: 17 damage, 6 energy (critical)
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 6 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle
Action 2
Paralyzed: 1 energy
Brick Break: 10 damage, 6 energy
Uproar @ Squirtle: 10 damage, 6 energy
Counter: Failed, 2 energy
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 2 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle
Action 3
Substitute: -10 health, 5 energy
Brick Break: 10 damage, 6 energy
Facade: 12 (10) damage, 5 energy (substitute)
Uproar @ Squirtle: 17 damage, 6 energy (critical)
Badly Poisoned: 2 damage
Arena Damage: 3 damage to Hopkins, 1 damage to Squirtle, 2 damage to Icarus, 2 damage to Grockle
Pokémon
Team Some Small History
Metallica Fanboy (
OO)
Active
Hopkins
♀ Joltik with ability Compoundeyes
Health:47%
Energy:79%
Status: Really, really annoyed
Condition:
Paralyzed (moderate, 20%),
Speed +2
Paralyzed ~ Paralyzed ~ Substitute (10)
エル. (
OO)
Active
Squirtle
♂ Squirtle with ability Torrent
Health:31%
Energy:67%
Status: Satisfied
Condition:
Torrent Activated
Toxic @ Grockle ~ Brick Break @ Icarus ~ Brick Break @ Icarus
Team Thoughtcrime
Lord of the Fireflies (
OO)
Active
Icarus
♂ Togepi with ability Serene Grace holding a Soothe Bell
Health:34%
Energy:78%
Status: Really, really confused
Uproar~Uproar~Uproar
The Omskivar (
OO)
Active
Grockle
♂ Lotad with ability Swift Swim
Health:57%
Energy:74%
Status: Feeling better now
Condition:
Badly Poisoned (2% this round, 3% next)
Sleep Talk => Endure ~ Failed ~ Facade @ Hopkins
Notes:
- Uproar on actions 1 and 3 were critical. What have you been doing to the RNG's, LotF?
- Forgive my depiction of Uproar and its effects
- Hopkins was completely incapacitated on action 1 and completely paralyzed on action 2. Likewise, what have you been doing to the RNG's, Metallica Fanboy?
- Grockle's Sleep Talk called up Endure
- Sorry for the unusual amounts of swearing
Arena Notes:
- Song was Creeping Death; will change in between this round and the next
Next round:
- Team Thoughtcrime commands
- Team Some Small History commands
- I ref (or Skyman takes over)