In Progress Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: The Exo War

[Exo-Raikou]

Remember that half decent comic I made way back? Well now, after much thinking and inspiration from Shining Eevee, I'm turning it into a fanfic. Enjoy:

Prologue​

Somewhere.

Not a single beam of light shined through the thick trees. Not a single gust of wind whispered throughout the forest. It was all silent and still for every single object in the woods.

Save one.

The single Pokémon moved cautiously through the foliage. Years of experience had trained this Pokémon to move cautiously, even when things looked peaceful and still. Instincts that had been painfully beaten into his brain told him to watch himself, especially when he was in a peaceful surrounding

So it was with the utmost of caution that the Pokémon moved through the forest. He stayed vigilant up until and including the moment that he reached his destination: a clearing in the forest. It was in the center of this clearing that a large multicolored gem stood tall.

Bracing himself, the Pokémon walked over to the gem, and closed his eyes, muttering a few words under his breath.

For a moment, nothing happened. But then, the gem changed abruptly: all color drained from it, and two empty black eyes appeared on the surface of the gem.

These eyes belonged to a being that had seen and heard billions of things, a being that lived nearly as long as time itself. It was before this being and this being alone, that the Pokémon would bow low. The Pokémon would remain bowed during the entire conversation, unless asked to do otherwise.

The eyes stared at the Pokémon for several long moments. Then, the being spoke in a quiet, rasping voice:

“Report.”

“All goes as planned, My Lady,” the Pokémon said, “We have successfully infiltrated the enemy stronghold.”

“Did he suspect?”

“I don’t think so, My Lady. The motive we gave him was more than sufficient to trick him. Not to mention the fact that we have knowledge that he… lacks.”

“Good. But you cannot let him know of our true motive, my faithful servant. The Pokémon you are working under has seen more death and destruction in his short existence than most Pokémon do in their entire lives. You must guard yourself more than you do when surrounded by the common Pokémon.”

The Pokémon nodded. “Of course, My Lady.”

For another long moment, silence. Then the Pokémon spoke:

“My Lady, has the one we failed to capture weeks ago been seen yet?”

The eyes regarded the Pokémon. “Patience, my servant. If he is found, you will be among the first to find out.”

The Pokémon fought to control his anger. Losing his temper in front of the being would be a death sentence. “I am aware of that, My Lady. But much time has passed since he went into the Dimensional Gate. He could be anywhere in the universe right now. We may very well never see him again.”

He regretted saying that last sentence the moment the words left his mouth. The Pokémon immediately tried to correct his words, but the being cut him off before he could begin.

“Are you questioning me, my servant? You know what I did to that Gate mere moments after he went inside of it. His destination is known. The fact that he has not yet arrived is a mere… inconvenience.”

The Pokémon chose to remain silent. The being was correct, so there was no real need to try and press the matter further.

“You may go now, my servant. Return to you position, and wait for him to arrive. Do not worry, though; you shall not wait much longer.”

With that, the eyes faded from the surface of the gem, and it returned to its multicolored state. The Pokémon then rose, and walked away.

He did not worry about the appearance of their target. If the being said that the wait would not be much longer, then it would not be much longer.

After all, the words of the being carried more authority than law, and foretold more than prophecy.

With that in mind, the Pokémon walked back through the forest. Though his caution was no less than it had been earlier, there was now an air of joy about him.

It would not be long now.

 

[Exo-Raikou]

Chapter 1 – The Awakening​

Where am I? The Pokémon thought, and why does my head hurt so much?

“Come on, wake up already! Would you please wake up?”

It was at these words that the Pokémon, a Gible, awoke.

“Oh, my head,” he muttered, clutching at his head, “what did I eat last-”

It was at this point that he became aware of his surroundings “Waitaminute, how did I end up here?”

The second Pokémon, a Totodile, jumped up in celebration, “You’re finally awake! I got pretty freaked out when I saw you out cold like that.” The Totodile looked at the Gible with curiosity in his eyes, “After all, it’s not often that you see an unconscious Gible as you leave town. How did you end up here any-?”

“What are you talking about?” The Gible said, “I’m a human. What makes you think I’m a Gible?”

The look in the Totodile’s eyes changed from curious to simply confused.

“You look like one, for one thing,” he said, “If you don’t believe me, then go see you reflection.” He indicated the nearby stone basin filled with water.

“Fine then, I will,” the Gible muttered, irritatingly, “And then, it will become ever so apparent that I am a human. Do you understand that, O Totodile who I… know… what… you’re… saying?”

By now, the Gible had reached the basin, and one look at his reflection confirmed what the Totodile had said: he was indeed a Gible.

“OH MY GOODNESS!”

The Gible fell back in shock. He then scrabbled backward on the dirt ground, muttering incoherent words.

Needless to say, the Totodile took the reaction a lot better than most Pokémon would have.

“You’re a weird Pokémon,” he said, “And I’m from the SouthEastern Rivers, so I know weird. What’s yo-?”

“This can’t be real! It can’t be! I’m a human! HUMAN! I’m… I’m…”

The Gible tried to remember his name. At first, nothing came up. But then…

M…a…x…

Max.

“I’m… Max?”

Is that all? Can I remember anything else?

“Max, you said?” the Totodile said, “That’s a nice name. I’m Connor. Glad to-”

“Why?! Why can’t I remember?!”

It was at this point that Max snapped. Instinct kicked in, and instinct told him only one thing:

Run.

So Max ran, and in the process, he slammed right into Connor, knocking him to the ground. The Totodile got up, brushed the dust off his scales, and looked in the direction that Max had run.

“Glad to have met you too,” he muttered.

It was at this point that he realized that this Max fellow could be in serious danger.

After all, I bet the locals of whatever place he’s running into won’t take kindly to a half-crazed Gible wandering into their midst. I’d better make sure he’s okay.

The Totodile then ran in Max’s direction.

Hopefully, I won’t be too late.

 

[S. E.]

I apologize for the late reply. I didn't see your update.

Anyway, you certainly expanded upon the original issue for Chapter 1. The new format will give the original plot a boost, to be sure. I look forward to future installments. Do you have any plans as for an update schedule?

Now that I'm done with my monotonous commentary, you may get on with your life.

 

[SonicNintendo]

This is actually really good. You're very descriptive and the dialog is great. I do recall, though, that in the PMD games, only you had a name (i.e.: Max). Personally, I would have kept it like that.

I picked up some good tips by reading your Fic. Keep it up, and I can't wait for the next chapter.

~SN

 

[S. E.]

I do recall, though, that in the PMD games, only you had a name (i.e.: Max). Personally, I would have kept it like that.

You can name your partner, in addition to any Pokemon that join your team. And anyway, in the comic, there were both Pokemon names and nicknames. Personally, I think it makes sense that some Pokemon would prefer other names to their species' name. It adds to the individuality.

Also, additional questions: How closely do you plan on following the original plot? Do you plan on other protagonists joining Team Nova? You don't have to answer the last one, but I don't want names.

(Two posts in two days?! Great Yggdrasil, I'm on fire!)

 

[SonicNintendo]

not sure if your questions were for me but if they were, i dont recall writing about a team nova.

 

[S. E.]

not sure if your questions were for me but if they were, i dont recall writing about a team nova.

Is this your thread? No, they weren't. Team Nova is from the sprite comic. I haven't read a word of whatever fanfiction you're writing.

 

[Exo-Raikou]

Chapter 2 - Lost in the Jungle​

Max didn’t know how long he had been running. Nor did he know in where he was running to.

All he knew was that by the time he was exhausted enough to finally come to a stop, he found himself in the clearing of a lush jungle. In this jungle, a massive tree sprouted up from a spring of water.

Max leaned against another tree, gasping for breath. While he was leaning against this tree, he thought on his current predicament.

How am I suddenly a Gible? How can this be? It’s… it’s inconceivable!

“All I know is that I was a human named Max,” he muttered to himself, “and… that’s all. I can’t remember anything else.”

Having caught his breath, he reflected on what had happened when he had fled.

Maybe I shouldn’t have fled and bowled over that Totodile… didn’t he say his name was Connor? I may have overreacted.

But I had reason to! I had found myself in a situation that would have made even the most sane beings panic. I didn’t know what to do, so logic told me to run… or would it be instinct now?

He looked at the jungle around him. Though he knew that he should go back to that crossroad area and see if he could find Connor, the peaceful atmosphere of the jungle made him want to stay.

“I could stay here forever if I wanted to,” Max said, “I doubt anything hostile lives—”

“HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!”

A mini-cyclone came from above the canopy of the massive tree. Max had barely enough time to register what had just happened before the cyclone struck him, shredded the tree he had leaned against, and threw him into another one.

“Identify yourself or perish!” The yell came from a Honchkrow that was descending through the canopy. No doubt that this Honchkrow was the same one who had just attacked him.

“…here.” Max finished, stunned.

“Identify yourself and state your business,” the Honchkrow ordered, coming to a landing as he did so, “are you from the Guild?”

“Guild,” Max said, wondering what aspect of this strange world the bird was referring to, “I’ve never heard of any—”

“There you are!”

This new voice belonged to none other than Connor, who was running into the clearing with a panicked look on his face.

I was too late, the Totodile thought, and now he’s run into a Honchkrow of all Pokémon! Those guys get really territorial!

“I’ve been looking all over for you!” He said, trying to remain calm, “What are you doing here?”

“I was asking him the same thing,” Honchkrow said, not bothering to disguise the anger in his voice, “I was asking him if he was here on Guild business, but then you showed up before he could answer me.”

“And I was trying to tell you that I’ve never heard of any Guild,” Max said, ignoring the look on Connor’s face that clearly said: don’t say something like that! “I’m a huma—”

“SILENCE!”

Honchkrow’s screech cut off whatever excuse Max was forming.

“If you are not affiliated with the Guild,” Honchkrow’s tone had gone from anger to open hostility, “then you have no reason to be here!”

Recognizing that things were about to explode, Max tried to calm Honchkrow down.

“Look, I’m sure we can—”

Honchkrow cut him off once more with another screech:

“ENOUGH! PREPARE TO DIE!!”

And with that, the bird charged.

 

[Thorne]

I am longing to see how this turns out, since it caught my interest.

In other news, now I want to write a fanfic, dammit.

 

[Exo-Raikou]

For those who remember the comic, up next is the first of the battle scenes.

I wanted to put the chapter up tonight, but I cannot for the life of me think of a decent way to put a comic battle into fanfic form. If I can, I'll get it (and one or two other chapters, since I'm not going to be here next week) up on thursday

And the only reason I'm telling you this is because once again, I can't keep up with my original Monday_Thursday plan (granted, last monday I didn't put up a chapter, but I did not have access to internet until very late that night.)

 

[S. E.]

Having a battle scene take up an entire chapter would be troublesome. Perhaps you should try merging it with another chapter? Also, yes, you should ditch the original Pokemon-style format; it worked for the comic, but it isn't meaty enough for a fanfic. Just try the usual, detail-heavy written version. No problem.

 

[Exo-Raikou]

Chapter 3 – Battle with Honchkrow​

Connor met Honchkrow’s charge with a slash from his claw. This barely slowed down the bird, and Connor was still struck by the wings and sent flying back. With Connor knocked down, Honchkrow rounded on Max

This is bad, Max thought, I need to do something, or he’ll kill me! But what?

The answer came to him when a burning feeling suddenly surged through his body. Max opened his mouth to gasp in pain, and when he did so, purple flames shot out and struck Honchkrow.

Oh, right, he thought, I’m part dragon, so I can breathe fire.

By this time, Connor had gotten back up, and he struck back at Honchkrow by blasting a stream of water at the bird. Having been hit by hot flames and then immediately struck by cold water, the pain was, to say the least, excruciating.

I’ve underestimated these two, Honchkrow thought, I’d better put a rush on this before I’m missed…

With that in mind, Honchkrow soared above Max and Connor, and then began flapping his wings harder and harder. The result of this was a massive cyclone forming beneath the bird, and the more Honchkrow flapped, the stronger the cyclone was. Even now, it was tearing up trees and throwing them into the air. In a good thirty seconds, it would be big enough to completely swallow Max and Connor and toss them into who knows where.

Max looked over at Connor, but the Totodile was making attempts of his own to struggle against the cyclone’s pull. The Gible was on his own.

I think I know how I can take him down, though. It’ll probably kill me, but if this keeps up I’m dead anyway…

With a plan in mind, Max did something that could be seen as completely suicidal: he charged into the cyclone.

Almost immediately, the winds took him and blasted him upward. The massive air current felt like it would pulverize Max, but it was too late to back down now.

Honchkrow was taken aback when Max charged into the cyclone. The bird couldn’t understand why this strange Gible would willingly throw himself into the dangerous winds.

It was only when the bird looked down and saw Max rocketing toward him did he figure out his plan.

But by then, it was too late.

Max slammed into Honchkrow, unleashing another Dragon Rage as he did so. The combined impact robbed Honchkrow of his concentration, at which point the cyclone vanished.

Connor looked up after the windstorm had faded, and was surprised to see what Max had done.

I never would have thought he’d be able make Honchkrow drop the cyclone that easily, he thought, even so, he seems to have forgotten something: his landing.

Up in the air, it appeared that Max had also figured out that little factor, and he was now holding onto the dropping Honchkrow for dear life. On the flipside, Honchkrow knew that the added weight was causing him to drop, and was attempting to shake off Max before they hit the ground. At this point, it was a race between Honchkrow and the ground.

The ground won. Honchkrow was spinning in an attempt to shake off Max, an attempt that was failing miserably, when he hit the shore of the pool of water. The bird collapsed and Max was forcibly thrown off.

The Gible struggled to his feet, and looked behind him at the fallen bird. At the sight of his defeated foe, he grinned.

“I think that went pretty well.”

 

[Exo-Raikou]

Another chapter for you, folks. I'm trying to get back into the routine updates.

Chapter 4 – Planning Beginning​

“That was way too close,” Connor said, looking at the defeated Honchkrow, “But at least he’s down.”

“Yeah,” Max said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be—”

Before he could finish that sentence, Connor struck the Gible with his tail. Max, stunned by the attack, hit the ground.

“What the heck were you thinking?!” Connor yelled, “He could’ve killed you!”

Max opened his mouth to give a reason, and then, something occurred to him:

“Why should I have to justify myself to you?!” he snarled, “I’ve just woken up to a world where I’m a talking Pokémon, even though I know for a fact that I was a human…”

At these words, Honchkrow, returning to consciousness, looked at Max, an act that neither Max nor Connor noticed.

He was a human? Could this be… could this be the one we’ve been waiting for? The one that we were told would…

“… and I go and panic — something that anyone would have done in a similar situation, then get confronted by a hostile Honchkrow who goes and rants about some Guild — one I’ve never heard of, no less…”

There’s no way that a Pokémon living in this country wouldn’t know about the Guild… he is the one!

“… and after a battle like that, do you expect me to justify myself to you?”

Connor seemed taken aback for a moment. Then he turned around. “I’m sorry, he said, “I just guessed you were from… you know what, never mind. I’m just sorry about expecting something of you that you couldn’t have had.”

“Thank you,” Max said. He then turned to look at Honchkrow who, unbeknownst to the Gible, was now faking unconsciousness.

“So what now? I’m a human-turned-Pokémon with no idea about why I’m here. Any ideas?” He said to Connor, “I mean, you’d be able to assist me where I couldn’t assist myself.”

Connor paused to think about any possibility. Then he figured it out.

“I know exactly where to go,” he said, “Just follow me, Max.”

With that, the Totodile walked away. Max took another moment looking at Honchkrow.

I may not agree with his current ideals, but since he’s the only Pokémon in this strange world that I know I can trust… well, I guess that sums it up.

The Gible then followed Connor. For many long minutes after that, the jungle was silent.

After about five of those minutes, Honchkrow got back up, shook the dust off his wings, and took flight.

I need to report this to the Boss. If this really is the one…

We now have everything we need

----

Here, it was dark.

Here, the only trees were black and twisted. Here, the few surviving plants had been tinted strange colors by the near-eternal darkness. Here, the only light came from small glowing bubbles that appeared in the nooks and crannies of the place, only to vanish mysteriously when one got too close, and then reappear when they were further away.

It was here, on the desolate Darkness Ridge, that the two Pokémon met.

Only fifteen minutes had passed since Max and Connor had departed from the Jungle. In this time, word of the origin of Max had reached the ears of the two Pokémon on the Ridge. While one of these Pokémon instantly ascertained it as truth, the other was hesitant to believe it as complete fact.

“I’ve heard the rumors about him,” one of them said, “Is it… is it really true?”

The other Pokémon, one that called this desolate place his true home, nodded. “It is. Now, we have all the key pieces to the completion of our Plan.”

“All of them?” The first Pokémon said, “Have we really obtained everything we need?”

“If you are thinking literally, then no,” the second said, “But they are all within our grasp. At this point, it is only a matter of time.”

The first Pokémon’s next words sounded very hesitant “But… the timing of this is terrible! We still are taking measures to find perfect pawns… not to mention finding all of those,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, “for him to show up now—”

“Means nothing,” the second Pokémon said, “I see no reason as to why you should worry. He may have beaten Honchkrow, but I doubt he could stand against our entire army.”

“Maybe so,” the first said, “but if he finds those… more importantly, if he knows what they are capable of… he could easily oppose our Plan.”

“If it should come to that, it will be dealt with,” the second Pokémon said, “and you shouldn’t worry about the possible future. For now, just keep looking for those.”

“Got it,” the first Pokémon said, “and I’ll bring the others with me.”

“Of course,” the second said as the first walked away from the summit of the Ridge, “Just don’t fail, or they will have to be deployed.”

The first Pokémon stopped in his tracks.

“Th-those two?” he said, genuine fear in his voice, “Well, that is motivation in itself for success.”

The Pokémon ran off at those words. The second turned away and looked over the ridge, off into the vast darkness that lay below it.

All the pieces are in place, he thought, now all that’s required is that we maneuver them right where we want them to be…