He'd woken up. That, in and of itself, had been a surprise. Crushed under that pressure, subsumed into that dark ocean, so far past the point of losing himself entirely, he hadn't expected...
Ridley wasn't sure what Powehi had done to him in order to save him. Something lingering, for certain. Something with a cost to it.
Ever since he'd woken up Ridley had been feeling wrong in his own skin. He'd found himself constantly fussing at his disguise, unable to go more than a minute or so without ruffling it up or twitching a seam back to perfect straightness. It was the same sort of constant anxiety and skittish inability to settle that he felt whenever the thing was damaged, but it was in perfect repair. The only damaged thing here was Ridley himself.
Eventually he'd dragged himself off of the floor and gone for a walk, hoping the fresh air and change of scenery would clear his head, but...
If he were a better person, Ridley wouldn't be here.
He knew, as well as anyone, how dangerous shadow pokemon could be. He knew how much damage they could do to everyone around them. If he were a better person, a more selfless person, a good person, he would have left Frontier Town entirely. He'd have thrown himself as far away from other people as he possibly could, so that when whatever was lurking under his disguise finally reared its head he'd at least have minimised the damage.
But instead, Ridley was selfish. He'd remembered how tranquil the Sanctum of Wishes had felt when he'd visited it before, and he'd so desperately wanted to feel that way again.
There was no tranquillity here, though. The gentle chiming of the bells, previously so soothing, now rang hollow.
If he were a better person, Ridley wouldn't be here.
The last time he'd been here, he'd told Steven he was afraid of people getting hurt because of his incompetence in combat. How pathetically naive that worry seemed now. Ridley did more than enough damage, incompetence or not, combat or not.
He'd always been driven by curiosity, willing to pay any price later on if it meant learning something new in the moment. He thought of a question and he had to have an answer, regardless of the cost. Driven was one way to put it. Poor impulse control was another.
He'd been hurt before. He'd almost died before. Ridley had somehow, stupidly, self-centeredly, thought that meant he knew the worst of what could happen. He was so used to the consequences of his actions only hurting himself. He'd thought -
He hadn't thought at all.
He'd never once, in all his time here, considered the effect his actions might have on other people. If Ridley was willing to pay whatever cost came calling, then wasn't that all that mattered? No matter how much Ridley pretended to care about people, they always came second to his own desires. And so he'd spilled the secret of his humanity, and so he'd approached the shadow charmeleon, and so he'd started fires...
...and so he'd stepped into the shallows of a depthless ocean.
Poor Betel had been trying their best, but they were inexperienced and it fucking showed. Ridley wasn't a heroic spirit. He wasn't the sort of person who could help to save this world. He was an accident, a glitch in the system, some random asshole who tagged along on a worldhopping adventure because he
If he were a better person, Ridley wouldn't be here.
Wasn't that the first thing Powehi had told them? You don't belong here.
Ridley didn't belong here. Not as a shitty excuse for a hero, and not even as a person. He wasn't helping anybody, only dragging them down. Even in the most neutral possible state, his mere existence was inimical.
Maybe Powehi was right. The best thing he could do would be to kill himself and limit the damage he could committed just by existing. Maybe that was the only possible good he could do in this world.
There was something about the idea which was appealing. Reset to a version of himself who had never known regret, who had never experienced consequences worse than a broken bone or an interesting new scar...
Ridley was a coward, though.
But. But.
Betel had told them that if a heroic spirit ever completely lost the will to remain in Forlas it would untether from the universe and return home. Ridley had seen it happen himself, when he'd helped fight against Valere and Farin in Bedaurejo Castle. Corey, fading into photons...
It seemed better than the alternative.
Ridley sat there, drenched in Shadows, and waited to become light.
<><><><><><>