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So, zombies are animated corpses, right? (A Zombie Survival Plan)

Crazy Weavile

HAI GUYZ
Shambling, slow cannibalistic corpses are still corpses. Thus, I propose the following action be taken when Zombie Day comes.

1: Take craploads of food, water, and other necessities down into a bunker.
2: Take as many people as possible into the bunker.
3: Wait three months. I told you to bring craploads.
4: Emerge. Theoretically, the zombies, being corpses, exposed to the open air, should have rotted into shambling, slow, cannibalistic, harmless animate dirt.

Wait, how does dirt shamble?

Oh, and post your crazy impossible-disaster survival plans in here, too, if you want.
 
We take Pete's car, drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip, then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

How's that for a slice of fried gold? 8D
 
i did a quiz on this before. It was an aptitude test on zombie survival.i It was called zombie survival quiz if i'm not wrong. Google it and you should find it.
 
To take it the Rareware way, go outside, find high grounds, and hit the zombies with a shotgun to the head--no more, no less. But then, you miss one and you get eated (come to think of it, do zombies shit?)

WARNUNG: NOT THE SAFEST SUGGESTION
 
Kaiser's plan is not far off from what needs to be done; although there are variations in tactics depending on location. Here are a few different methods for getting rid of them, although they are generally used for post-invasion cleanup:

Netting: Set a net up across a river, and try and get it to go as deep as possible. Have two people guard the rope keeping the net from flowing away on both sides of the river, blow the brains out of any zombies that might accidentally cut the rope, and be wary of any that have the strength to get out of the river's current (zombies don't need air!). After a while, bring up the net and blow the brains out of any trapped zombies.

Baiting (mobile): For this you will need a shotgun, a vehicle such as a van or truck, and two people; one to drive, and one to hide in the back. Drive whatever you are using around a bit at a pace too fast for the zombies to catch you, yet slow enough to keep them within shooting distance, making as much noise as possible; honking the horn, blasting the radio at full volume, (preferably through external speakers (this is possibly the only real use for sub woofers)) etc. This should attract tons of zombies to you, but don't worry, that is just what you want. Once you have a large enough 'tail' of zombies, the person hiding in the back should now open up the rear and start blowing the brains out of the zombies, one by one. The zombies, with their one track mind, will not be deterred.

Baiting (stationary (does not come recommended unless you are willing to possibly risk an animal's life, although if done properly, this method should only end in zombie re-death)): Find an animal that makes a lot of noise, such as a dog, goat, song bird, etc. Put the animal in a cage, leave it out in the open, hide somewhere, and do something that would cause the animal to start making a lot of noise. A bird would work best since you could theoretically hang its cage from a tree, and reduce most of the risk on its life*. The noise the animal is making should attract zombies to your location, where you can dispose of them through decapitation (be wary of the heads though, they still bite) or head shots. If done correctly, you can eliminate the zombie before it harms your bait.

Congrats, you've just killed all the zombies in your area! But now you have several rotting corpses lying around your area, what will you do with them now?
Disposing of the bodies: First and foremost: do not allow any of their bodily fluids inside of you! Zombies can still infect you for weeks after re-death! If you have any open cuts either a; cover them with rubber gloves, tight fitting, long sleeve shirts, or boots, depending on where it is, and be careful. Or b; don't participate in the cleanup. Preferably b.
There are two know ways of safely disposing of zombie corpses, cremation and closed off burial. So those are your options; burn 'em carefully, or bury 'em carefully and close off the burial site. Either way, be careful, and if near a tundra, be ready for more in the spring.
 
Ekibyōgami;4012 said:
We take Pete's car, drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip, then we grab mum, we go over to Liz's place, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

How's that for a slice of fried gold? 8D

Oh, great idea.

'Yeah! Let's leave the AK-47 at home and go for a Stella!'
 
rofl three months

more like three to five years, depending on temperature, not to mention if there's a strong winter season, some zeds would be frozen, effectively perfectly preserving them until the thaw

you wouldn't last five minutes out there, kids
 
Note: This is only for strong-minded people! You will have to kill yourself!

Tell a team of friends/rivals to set up a bomb in a place where zombies can get to. Let a zombie make you infected. Do not let the zombie kill you! Kill the zombie. Become a zombie. Try not to go to the zombie side. Become the leader of the zombies! Go to the bomb, and blow yourself up with all the other zombies! You die, but hey, your friends and relitives don't die! 8D Only use as a last resort!
 
How to survive:
Get into a house that has stairs.
If it turns out that zombies can walk upstairs then block the top with loads of heavy things.
Or get to a house that has a ladder leading up to the attic. There's no way zombies can go up ladders.
Then just wait for the military to arrive.

How to get rid of them:
Assuming that zombies can be killed, you get a weapon and go to where most zombies come from. First your local morgue, not too many zombies there. You kill the one or two that have managed to escape the drawers. Then you kill the rest one at a time by opening the drawers. You then go to the cemetery, but in daylight. Although most of the zombies should come from here, there won't be many. Why? How are slow moving corpses with hardly any muscle left supposed to dig their way through six feet of earth? Let alone their coffin. You spread petrol around the entire premises, and light it on fire. The very few zombies that are left at this point should be a breeze due to the hundreds of alive people in your local area.
 
Murkrow your survival plan fails if there is an entire swarm destroying the house below you; eventually they'll break something important and the whole place comes down/goes up in flames. Additionally, your plan to get rid of the zombies fails as well; while removing the zombies in the morgue is a somewhat decent idea, lighting the cemetery on fire on fire only succeeds in burning down your whole town and turning the zombies into walking torches for the fifteen minutes it takes them to be reduced to ash.
 
Murkrow your survival plan fails if there is an entire swarm destroying the house below you; eventually they'll break something important and the whole place comes down/goes up in flames. Additionally, your plan to get rid of the zombies fails as well; while removing the zombies in the morgue is a somewhat decent idea, lighting the cemetery on fire on fire only succeeds in burning down your whole town and turning the zombies into walking torches for the fifteen minutes it takes them to be reduced to ash.

Wrong. You obviously have the Zombie Survival Guide, but I have that AND Z War (Written by the same author who wrote Zombie Survival Guide. It covers what would potentially happen in a class 4 outbreak that covered the globe. And, it shows that China's population is to blame if something like that happens XD)

One of the civilizations that survived the best had their houses on a stilt-like platform. The zombies, of course, were too dumb to think, "Hey, why don't we just break the support beams!?"
 
Zombie Survival Plan: Just leave. Get away from there as fast as you can, and hope that no one else has the same idea. If that doesn't work, get a taste for decomposing flesh. They'll stay away after they learn that you like to eat them.

Or...: Here's an Idea: http://www.ericlathrop.com/notld/

Looks that was made in the 50's though. I'll bet zombies are immune to stuff like that now.
 
Zombie Survival Plan: Just leave. Get away from there as fast as you can, and hope that no one else has the same idea. If that doesn't work, get a taste for decomposing flesh. They'll stay away after they learn that you like to eat them.

Not recommended. Zombie Flesh is highly toxic. It won't infect you if you eat it (unless you have an open wound somewhere in your intestinal tract). However, it will kill you very fast

Or...: Here's an Idea: http://www.ericlathrop.com/notld/

Looks that was made in the 50's though. I'll bet zombies are immune to stuff like that now.

Movies tend not to be accurate. Treat movies as they were meant to be treated, as entertainment and not as a survival guide
 
New plan: Get a stick, light it, and throw it at the tightly packed horde of the undead.

That plan is very risky. They might not light (although, considering how they dry out, they probably would). Also, what is more dangerous? A decaying body that eats everything in site, or a decaying, FLAMING body that bites at you while it gives you third degree burns?
 
1. Steal a large, zombie-free ship of sorts. Make sure it's seaworthy and has a lot of fuel.
2. Get as much food and fresh water as possible onto the ship.
3. Get a wrench.
4. Escape out to the seas! Join the pirates!
 
1. Steal a large, zombie-free ship of sorts. Make sure it's seaworthy and has a lot of fuel.
2. Get as much food and fresh water as possible onto the ship.
3. Get a wrench.
4. Escape out to the seas! Join the pirates!

That is actually one of the techniques described in the guide. As Zombies tend to not swim very well (As in, not at all), that is a very viable technique. If you manage to find an island with few access points, all the better, as then you can reinforce those few access points and use it as a refill station

EDIT: I wonder if running a steamboat by burning zombie corpses would be a good idea... After all, the corpses you would use would, well, be (hopefully) no longer animate...
 
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