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This title has been claimed in the name of Team Rocket!


neither simple, nor coherent.
Sayoko was worried about Miss Midnight. First she didn't see her for nearly a month, causing Sayoko to have to forgo the planned March Safari Zone contest. Then when she finally did show, trudging into the Safari Zone headquarters at four in the morning with something like three new pokémon to find pokéballs for, she said nothing in response to Sayoko's questioning about where had she been, did you know how worried you made us, where did these come from, you weren't off playing in the areas for the last few weeks were you? The one thing Midnight had said regarding it all was... "Space aliens! From outer space!" before falling flat onto the administration's couch and sleeping for the next ten hours.

Maybe the stress of running it all by herself had finally made her crack.

It was a few days after the incident. Sayoko and Midnight were lunching on igglybuff-prepared pancakes with pecha berries and white apricorn smoothies. (Although the new addition tried his darnedest to prepare the meals, most everything ended up overcooked, undercooked, overmixed, undermixed... he seemed to get the hang of breakfast foods, though. They'd had eggs and toast for supper last night.) Sayoko was trying to bring the supposed leader of the Safari Zone's attention to the papers she'd written up regarding the upcoming contest, but she seemed to be distracted with praising her new apparent mascot character.

"Miss Midnight..."

"Aww, that was soooo yummy, Len! You're getting better every day!" Midnight threw the pink pokémon into the air, caught him, and rubbed his plushy cheek against hers. The igglybuff wore a smug smile, enjoying the attention. "Don't you think so, Sacchan?" she asked, not even bothering to turn to look at her.

Sayoko resisted the impulse to pull out her silver hair. "Yeah, it was great, but Miss Midnight, this is..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, the contest," she said absently, bouncing the balloon pokémon on her knee. "This month, we should see who's got the cutest, roundest, most adorablest pokémon in all the land!" She winks at the puffball, adding in a sing-song voice, "I know who would win~"

Sayoko groaned softly, holding her hand to her face. "And this is why you're not allowed to enter yourself..." she mumbled. Spinning the clamped documents to show her supposed superior, she commented, "Look, I was thinking of adapting some of the ideas from last month's - March's, you know?"

"Mhm," she grunted, standing from the table and rolling the depressingly useless baby up and down her arms.

"We were going to do the shamrock, luck-of-the-Irish theme?"

"Yep." Dribbling him like a basketball on the ground, though he giggled and seemed to be hurt not at all.

"Considering April's theme should be something relating to April Fool's Day..."

"'Kay." She looped her arms above her head; the puffball inflated himself to twice his size and soared through the hoop; she clapped.

"I thought we might dance around in our underwear while eating fruit loops and singing the alphabet backwards."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Miss Midnight!" Sayoko jumped up sharply, causing the plates and silverware to rattle and crash against each other. The igglybuff looked up from his games, only to start crying, rolling into full-blown sobs.

Midnight gave the redhead a stern look. "Sayoko! Now look what you've done." She kneeled down and scooped up the baby pokémon into her arms. "There, there, it's okay, nothing's gonna hurt you," she cooed to the wailing plush pokémon. "Here, let's go take a nap in my room, okay? Does that sound good? Yeah." With a weary glance over her shoulder, she mouthed the words, "Be right back."

Sayoko frowned and tossed herself on the couch. It wasn't like it was any of her business what Midnight chose to do when she wasn't around, but she had hired Sayoko to help run the contests, and she couldn't do that without input from the woman herself. The two of them had to make sure they had their act together to gain the trust of the area owners that the region wouldn't be left to rot, that they wouldn't twenty-three skidoo off to nowhere like...

Midnight's brown curls poked through the doorframe before the rest of her. She flumped down onto the couch next to Sayoko.

"Yo, sorry about that." Midnight sighed with a tinge of exasperation. "Man, if taking care of a baby pokémon is this exhausting, I never want to have kids."

Sayoko arched an eyebrow. "I thought you were having fun."

Midnight shrugged. "He's all right, but mostly I'd just like him to get happy enough to evolve." She picked up the papers, flipped through them, then smacked her fist to her palm in recognition. "Ah, right. I wanted to ask you about that Team Rocket strike the other day. Have you done anything to keep them away?"

The young girl replied with a shrug of her own. "They came and went faster than I could do anything about them. There didn't seem to be anything stolen, and I haven't seen any real mischief since then, so..." She frowned uncertainly. "The problem with a police force would be just how expansive this place is. We don't have the funds for either a full team on every area or for enough trained rapidash or dodrio - much less any aerial choices - for a mounted militia."

Midnight sighed. "Well, you have a point. I'm worried about the lengths the local Asber region has gone in the name of justice, you know? One little murder and suddenly everyone's dropping like beautiflies.* Just keep it under consideration, 'kay?"

Sayoko opened her mouth to affirm when she was interrupted by a girl's voice outside the front door.

"Did someone say... consideration?"

The wooden door swung open with a crash, and two girls wearing burgundy outfits with prominent white Rs emerged from an inexplicable fog. They each struck an obviously rehearsed pose.

"If you ask us for our consideration," began the first girl, a small, slight figure with an equally small, unsure voice. The glasses-wearing brunette sounded as if she was doing her best to remember her lines without stumbling on them; she clutched a raggedy mutark pokédoll tightly in her fist.

"We'll tell you society's contemplation," recited her partner, a notably taller and evidently more confident girl. Her shock of pink hair was topped by a tall brown cap, and her tiny shirt and tiny miniskirt barely covered her slender figure. She smirked at the bewildered pair on the couch.

"Protecting the planet from terrible blight!"

"Guarding the world's most awesome light!"

"To prove that truth and love can harm,"

"We'll show you through our grace and charm!"



"As long as the stars shine, Team Rocket can't fail!"

"When our future's so bright, we'll always prevail!"

"Kec, kec!" An oddly-colored kecleon made itself visible out of the billowing smoke.

Sayoko and Midnight stared.

The taller girl high-fived the brunette. "Great job, Beth!" she cheered. "I knew we could pull it off! Those were the perfect lyrics."

The shorter girl blushed pink. "Th-thanks, Parker! It was all thanks to your choreography. Oh..." She pulled out a small remote control and fiddled with the dial. The fog suddenly increased in volume, spreading across the floor of the headquarters and causing the Rocket trio to cough; she quickly spun the dial the opposite way and it tapered off. "Phew..."

Midnight and Sayoko stared. Midnight cleared her throat and was the first one to find her voice. "... ... Hi."

"Silence!" Parker cried. "We will be the ones doing the talking here!"

"... Y-Yeah!" Beth said. "This is a hijacking!"

Sayoko blinked. "A hijacking of what?" she asked incredulously.

Parker smirked. "Of the Safari Zone, what else? Now... get 'em, Donnie!"

Before either of them knew what was happening, a floating red ribbon had tied them up crudely back-to-back with a roll of duct tape. The purple kecleon appeared again, sticking out his tongue and pulling down his cheek at the pair. The two yelped and squirmed as Beth and Parker fell in with duct tape of their own to finish the job.

"You won't--"

"Get away with this?" Parker completed for Sayoko as she covered the emerald-tressed's mouth, snickering. "You have no idea what our glorious plan is, so you can't say that - terribly overused cliché, by the way - for sure."

"You can't hijack a region, what are you even mmphmmph nnhrn?!" Midnight managed to say before being so rudely interrupted by tape to the mouth.

"Hey, what part of 'silence' don't you people understand?" Beth stuck her hands on her hips, looking over the two, when she noticed the papers on the edge of the coffee table. "Hey, Parker, check this out!" she said, flipping through them. "It's like blueprints to the greatest heist ever!"

Parker glanced over her shoulder, then grinned twistedly. "Hey, this is gold!" Addressing the incapacitated pair, "We were just gonna ransack this place, but this is a great way to get all the pokémon we could want to come to us! Thanks, guys!" The two winked and threw victory-sign poses, then escaped out the front door. From outside the window, they could see the Team Rocket duo pedaling away on high-speed bikes, the kecleon following on what appeared to be, absurdly, a custom-fit tricycle.

Sayoko and Midnight stared in mutual disbelief until they biked out of sight.
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"Ah, there's so many people..."

Beth chewed on her mutark doll's ear out of habit as she peeked out nervously from behind the curtains of the contest stage, past which rows of folding chairs were slowly filling up with Safari Zone members. Parker patted her on the shoulder, but the brunette gave a startled yelp before smiling with embarrassment at her partner in crime.

"There's nothing to be worried about!" Parker said reassuringly. "This'll be our first major independent heist, but once we pull this off, we'll be in the higher-ups' favor. And then..." She clenched her fist in exaggerated hope. "We can make it out of this podunk region and get transferred somewhere nice... like Goldenrod!" The pink-haired girl nodded definitively. "There's a big Rocket presence in Goldenrod, you know."

"Y-Yeah..." Beth agreed uncertainly, playing with the hem of her emblem-disguising jacket. Truthfully, she didn't mind the Safari Zone region that much - she wasn't aiming for a life in the big cities like Parker, and rarer pokémon seemed to be rather more common in some parts around here than in more populated regions. But wherever Parker moved, she would follow.

"Moze!" Parker called off to the side of the stage. "Time to get ready!" The purple-colored kecleon quickly stood and saluted with a "kec!" of acknowledgement, and dashed off to the side of the stage. The taller girl placed her hands on her hips and smirked, then looked down to her apprehensive partner. With a caring smile, she took the brunette's shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "Listen, girl. Like I said, this'll be a snap. All we have to do is set up the contest like they usually would. Then once that's set up, we casually mention that we've been able to increase the number of PC terminals around the areas - and great job noticing that bit in those papers and coming up with that; that was all you, girl!" Beth accepted the compliment by blushing and casting her eyes to the ground; Parker gently placed her finger under the girl's chin to get her to look her way as she finished her recap. "After we stall the plebes under the guise of the contest, we'll empty the contents of the rigged PCs and escape to Rocket headquarters." She wore her smug, hands-on-hips expression again. "Like taking rare candy from a baby. It's just too easy."

Her highly-attuned sense of narrative causality made Beth wince at that last part. "Oh, please don't say that," she whispered under her breath.

Parker seemed not to notice. "Lizzie, this will all go fine if you remember three things." She grasped her hands around the surprised girl's right hand. "One: 'Steal pokémon for profit.'"

The brunette smiled at the recitation of the familiar oath. Dropping her doll to her feet, she clasped her left hand to the own girl's right. "Two: 'Exploit pokémon for profit.'"

Together they closed their eyes and struck a pose, facing forward, flinging up their outer arms and calling out loud and proud, "Three: 'All pokémon exist for the glory of Team Rocket!'"

They opened their eyes to behold a crowd of Safari Zone members staring up at them curiously.

Beth froze, her dark-brown eyes wide behind her glasses. Parker dropped the pose and whispered loudly offstage, "Moze! You weren't supposed to pull the curtains until I said when!" In the shadows, the kecleon turned invisible in embarrassment.

The pink-haired girl huffed in irritation, but only allowed herself the moment of being caught off-guard before plastering on a cute smile and waving to the audience. "Can you believe that's what Team Rocket actually believes? How dreadful!" She placed her hand over her heart with a melodramatic swoon. "We were simply studying up on the syndicate's policies to better guard against attacks in the future. Know thine enemy!" She winked at the crowd, who murmured in enthused agreement, and Beth admired her so much at that moment. She always thinks so quickly on her feet...

"Now, welcome to the April Pokémon Safari Zone event!" she said cheerily. "We'll be your hosts on this fine day. My name is Maddie, and this is my lovely partner Fiona!" She gestured to Beth, using their official undercover code names in their introduction. Beth waved tentatively, twisting her pokédoll's tail around her finger as she did in times of nervousness.

"This month, we have an interesting game set up involving the areas of the Safari Zone. This time around, there's not three, not five, but ten whole prizes available for everyone!" That really got the audience going. Parker hid a giggle behind her hand. Of course, they had already gathered up all the special prizes in sacks behind the stage, waiting for the truck that would come to pick up the pokéballs. "Plus, every participant should, again, get at least one pokémon... but probably many more!" She gestured theatrically towards her partner. "Beee...iiiona, would you like to have the honors?" She threw a hidden thumbs up sign and grinned.

Beth felt her cheeks grow red-hot, and she cleaned her glasses on the hem of her shirt to stall. It was just like Parker, really, to try to get her out of her shell. Even if she liked her shell, and would be perfectly fine with sticking in her cozy, comfortable little shell. ... Still, she had broken the ice for her, and Beth was always inclined to try something new if Parker did first. Heck, why had she joined the team in the first place?

"R-Right," she said, taking the hand microphone carefully and clearing her throat. She shuffled the stolen documents and began to read. "Um, here is the procedure for the event.

"'This event is all about visiting the areas of the Safari Zone. Ten randomly selected combinations of post number and area have been previously selected, and the current post numbers of each of the ten areas has been noted. This means that if the, say, sixth prize was assigned to, say, Lac du Bois, then the winner of the sixth prize would be whomever had the post number of #24 in Lac du Bois. The number will be any number between one and ten, and only unique visitors to the area count - for instance, if the prize is for number four and the subsequent posts are that of Alice, the owner, Bob, the owner, Charlie, Alice, the owner, and Eve, then Eve would be the winner. The ten areas could be any area created so far, so feel free to hop back a few pages and give those neglected areas some attention!

"'The contest will continue for as long as it takes for all the prizes to be claimed. I will let the winner know that they won and what they won in the respective area and keep a running total of all the winners in this thread.'"

Beth looks up from the pages to Parker's completely lost face. "... I think I understand," she says slowly. "Do you?"

Parker continues to wear a bewildered expression. "... za?" she says, before regaining her composure and the microphone. "I mean... aheh, of course! But you guys can feel free to ask as many questions as you want if you don't think you do, of course. Anyways, those were the rules of the game, but I know what you all are interested in: the prizes!"

The crowd claps again. "Unfortunately," she continues, "we weren't able to get them on display this time. However, I'm sure you'll be able to use your imagination.

"The winners of prizes ten, nine, eight, and seven will recieve their very favorite common pokémon! That's right, any common of your choice as listed on the rarity..." She squints at the page. "... tray!"


"Tier! The rarity tier. Aheh. Winners six, five, and four will receive that, along with their very own Evolution Pass! Not only good for normally-evolving pokémon, the evolution pass is especially fit for those pokémon which require fiddly super-rare items, such as politoed, dusknoir, or porygonz."

She clears her throat and continues. "Winners three and two can redeem both of the previous prizes, as well as either one dratini, larvitar, gible, metang, or bagon, or their choice of alternately-colored - shiny - common." She chuckles. "Apparently our prize department can't think of anything other than evolution passes or pokémon." Polite laughter.

"And now for the grand prize. It's the one, (of) the only... Rotoooooom!" As the crowd goes wild, she quickly covers the mic with her hand and whispers to Beth, "How'd they get their paws on Rotom, anyway? I thought he was a Sinnoh native!" Beth throws up her palms in the universal 'don't ask me, I ain't got a clue' gesture.

"That's right, guys," Parker continues without missing a beat, "this semi-legendary would be a boon to any trainer. It slices, it dices, it'll even wash your clothes! It'll keep your food cold, mow your lawn, take out the trash, do your taxes and find your true love!" She giggles. "Results not typical, terms and conditions may apply." The crowd chuckles.

Parker tosses the pages over her shoulder and sticks her hand on her hip. "Okay! That should be everything. Like I mentioned, please let us know if you have any questions in this thread; if not, get to posting! Remember to keep your PCs up-to-date with your new arrivals - you'll find we've installed a plethora of brand new terminals around to make the process easier and faster than ever! Bye-bye!" She waves, and Beth makes a slashing gesture under her neck to Moze; he pulls on the cords and the curtains fall to applause.

"Phew!" Parker says, rolling her eyes and flumping into a convenient backstage giant beanbag chair. "My cheeks hurt from all that smiling." She hands the kecleon a few singles and instructs, "Be a dear and fetch us some lemonades from the vending machine I saw out there? Feel free to grab something for yourself, if you want." With a salute and a "kec!" of acknowledgement, Moze was there and back in two shakes of a mareep's tail.

Beth took the proffered sugary drink. "Thanks," she said, sipping at it while pondering some thoughts. "So, Parker?" she asked the girl, who looked at her lazily through half-lidded eyes. "What should we do now?"

The tall girl smirked and tapped her left temple. "Now? Now we sit on our butts, enjoy our lemon drinks, and wait for the truck and the glory to come rushing in." She stretched out her legs and yawned contentedly. "Yep, life's looking up for us now."

Beth winced again. That was just asking for bad things. Nearly as taunting to troublemaking forces as What could possibly go wrong?


Of course, questions are welcome, but so is RP! Hop in the thread, do whatever, and have fun!
... I forgot how this worked. So um since you were closest CONGRATULATIONS MELODIC HARMONY you get a rotom. :D \o/
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