• Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.

    Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.

    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

In Progress A Hero is Born~ Pokemon Writing Chapter Four

DarkAura

loves terra "brain cells? idk her" kingdomhearts
Chapter One:
Hope


One fateful morning, on the highest mountain in Kanto, dwelled a couple of nomads; a male Sceptile and a female Meganium. After 9 months of laying eggs, all the eggs have hatched into Treeckos and Chickoritas-all except one egg.

"George, It's been 1 month after the other eggs hatched. Do you think this egg's a stillborn?", said the Meganium, Jenny. Jenny was worried. She never had a dead baby before. She didn't want one now! "Jenny, We must have hope. We need more time", the Sceptile, George, remarked.

Suddenly, a deafening 'CCRRAACCKK' sound scattered in the air. The sound woke up all the sleeping egg pokemon, and made the Pokemon already awake turn there heads quicker than an owl's.

The egg had a large crack going trough the middle. It then started to expand until the egg broke in two. Out came a Chickorita, with a cowlick on the front of it's bangs. However, in comparison to the other Chickorita's, this one's colouring was...different...It's fur was more yellow than green, and the leaf on the top of it's head was a light brown, possibly tan.

Jenny and George were baffled at the sight of it. "George....I've heard about this...These are what the humans call a 'Shiny Pokemon'. These Pokemon are very rare, and humans will stop at noting to catch one...We have to hide it!" Jenny exclaimed.

Jenny Knew that even though she and George were strong, the humans might take the other babies if they only focused on the shiny. If they focused on protecting the other babies, they'll take the shiny! They didnt know anyone else around the mountain, so they could not get help. What should they do?

"Jenny....Do you know what gender it is?" George asked. "Uhh....no..." Jenny stammered. "Uggghh....I'll go look" George said as he walked to the laboratory to check.

After 10 minutes, George came back. "It was hard to tell, but it's a girl. What should we name her?" George questioned.

Jenny had to think. It has to be a name that fits the Pokemon. Jenny felt unsure about this. After all they endured with the hope the egg would survive, she couldn't think. Suddenly, it came to her. "Kibo. It's japenese for 'Hope'." Jenny replied.


Chapter Two:
Is She Ready?


Kibo was still smaller than the rest. However, Kibo was the quickest to walk. "George...no doubt the word will spread...we have toget Kibo prepared. We must train her." Jenny said worriedly. When Kibo heard that,her small, triangular tail turned into a large, bushy, silver tail adn she used Iron Tail. After she used the move, her tail returned to normal.

"Jenny....her tail...grew into the shape of the Treecko's...and then changed back" Georged stammered. "No duh, Captain Obvious" Jenny replied. One of the Treeckos walked by Kibo. Like Jenny and George, the babies could talk, but only a few sentances at a time. "Who...You?" The treecko asked Kibo. Pokemon at Kibo's age couldn't say a word, but Kibo said "Kibo, what's your name? Do you have a superior intelect?" All the Pokemon were shocked at Kibo's fluent vocabulary.

"George, we have to train Kibo. Let's start of with a vine whip!" Jenny remarked. Jenny used two long, leafy vines to hold down Kibo. Kibo, realizing she was pin, swept into action. Kibo used Ancientpower(egg move) to break free. Kibo landed to the ground and used synthesis under the bright sun. Jenny sprang up. Jenny charged with a body slam, but Kibo used reflect. Jenny flew back. Kibo used safeguard, to prevent status. Jenny had enough. While the sun got in an over cast, Jenny began charging a solarbeam attack. Kibo realized it. She got scared and screamed so loud it defies the sound barrier. It wasn't just any scream- it was the move Echoed Voice. Jenny was suprised and got hit, getting KO'ed.

"She's ready..." Jenny stammered. Kibo was ready to defend herself in any situation.

Chapter Three:
The Journey Begins


Kibo was ready for small situations, but she needed a strategy if she wanted to survive. George, being the crafty Sceptile, offered to give her some strategies.

"Alright Kibo, here's how you use a offensive move for defense." George said. He went onto the middle of a hidden field and used Razor Leaf. He then went on the ground and spun while still using the move. The leaves went everywhere. It conveyed such magnificent beaaty with strong power to created a beautiful defensive move. Kibo gazed in awe.

"Now you do what I just did, Kibo." George told her. Kibo went in the middle, used Razor Leaf, and spun on the ground. She the used Vine whip to make the leaves smaller and sharper, making it stronger. All George could do was stand there, still with his jaws open.

"I....am speechless.." George stuttered. He knew Kibo could challenge anything life throws at her. Although, he was worried that Kibo wouldn't defend herself at the right time. That was al up to her. "Well Kibo, You are ready..." George finally said. Jenny was looking from the cave with one of her hatchlings. Jenny felt the same as George, but she knew if Kibo stayed, a human would catch her. Next month is tourist month; where humans come at every time of day.

"George......She must go now...." Jenny said, "Kibo, keep this locket with you, and this pouch with a month's supply of food and a map. Go to the Vermillion Docks. A Lapras will guide you to the Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova regions. You must keep running, or you will get captured." Jenny kissed Kibo on the head.

With that, Kibo was off, only taking one last look at them, and walked off.


Chapter Four:
Viridian



Kibo was still a young hatchling. She was vurnurable to dangers on her journey. Could she make it all the way to Vermillion City? She was too scaed to think more about it. She grabbed the locket around her neck. It wouldn't open. Kibo sighed with desperation.Kibo was in Viridian City now, but that was't far from her home. Vermillion City was much farther.

Kibo looked around the strange city. She remembered to stay out of sight. She hid behind a few bushes. A young girl walked by, and saw a tan leaf in the bushes. She tried to pick it up. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! WHY I OUGHTA!!!", Kibo screamed, but the young girl could only hear Chickorita noises. "How cute are you!" The girl screamed. The girl suddenly looked at Kibo's neck- a locket was there. The girl closed her eyes and got to eye level with Kibo.

"You must've gone away from home on a journey. My friend did that too. You go on your journey, and if anyone aks if I've seen a Shiny Chikorita, i'll say no. Now go on young Pokemon." The girl said to Kibo. Kibo smiled at the girl and took off for the forest.

The forest was dense and full of bug pokemon. "Yikes. Isn't there a way to go aroud it?" Kibo asked herself. She turned her head to the right and saw a flimsy tree. "Wonder if I could cut it?" Kibo again asked herself. She put up her front right paw and hit the tree. The tree only had a crack on it. Kibo kept on hitting it until at last, it broke, and Chikorita pressed onward through the short cut to Pewter City.


Chapter Five:
Purrloin in Pewter


After going through the shortcut, kibo made it to Pewter city. "Wow, this city's bigger than i thought" Kibo said. After passing the Pokemart, Kibo saw a purple cat Pokemon, a Purrloin. However, Purrloins are usually not seen in Kanto. Kibo walked u to the Pokemon cautiouslly, for she knew Purrloins trick Pokemon and steal their items.

"Hi I'm Kibo! Who are you?" Kibo asked. "I'm Faith! Nice to meet you! Hey,wanna battle?" Faith asked. "Uh... sure...." Kibo said uneasily. What a weird request, especially after she just met her." But in somewhere empty, like an empty house!" Kibo suggested. "Sure. How about that empty gym?" the purrloin said. So they go inside the empty gym and battle.

Kibo has the first move, so she uses Double team, making a circle of clones. The clones enveloped Faith on every side, every corner, every edge! Purrloin then uses faint attack, a move that hits without fail. Dissapearing for a split second, Faith then reappeared right infront of Kibo. Before Kibo had time to react, Faith attacked, and Kibo was hurt severly. Kibo used her strongest move, echoed voice. Echoed voice is a move that gets stronger every time it's used. This was stronger than the last time. The move was so devestatingly loud, defying the sound boudaries. Every little stray item in the building was blown to all the sides and corners. With that move, Purrloin couldn't take anymore, and fell. Kibo sighed. "Hey, let's rest for now" Kibo suggested. "Sure" the Purrloin answered. With that, they fell asleep.

Chapter 6:
Discoveries


As dawn was breaking, and the Dodrio were up and awake, Kibo too woke up. Faith had then woken up no later than five minutes after Kibo did.

"Hey Kibo, not to sound direct,...but why are you here?" Faith asked.

Kibo sighed. "I...honestly am not sure. I was told to go to vermillion city...where a Lapras awaits....I was told to keep running....to run and never stop....or I'd be captured...." Kibo was trying to be strong, but she couldn't help crying. "Faith, I must go now...I have to keep running....I bid you a fond farewell" Kibo said.

"Wait, you can't leave now, not with out eating my famous oran cake surprise. I'll just need Oran berries." Faith suggests.

"I have Oran berries in my bag. Would three do?", Kibo asked. She didn't realize it, but she hadn't eaten since she left!

"That'll do. It'll take 20 minutes though. Why not go around the town a bit?" Faith suggests.

" But the humans would capture me!" Kibo argued.

"I got it, let's tell stories for the time being! Here's one I heard about Kanto. There once was a cocky squirtle, saying he was so brave. A rather timid Charmander walked up. and called the Squirtle's bluff. The charmander dared it to go inside an abandoned lab for 20 minutes, for legend states that this lab, which is right next to the building which we are in, has the ghost of a Growlithe. So the Squirtle walked in there. After 20 minutes, he didn't come out. The fellow Pokemon thought he was scaring them. After two hours, they got worried, and investigated. After five minutes, they returned with a skeleton with a shell, and on that skeleton were the footprints of a Growlithe." Faith said.

Kibo stared at her wide eyed. "Let's go there. It's right next to here!"

"Whoa, no! You cant go in there! My friend went in there once...and never returned,,,," Faitch said with tears in her eyes.

"Fine...so is the food ready yet?" Kibo asked.

"No, we got another fifteen minutes," Faith replied.

".......damn" Kibo says.

"Hey, watch your mouth! a kid who's only....how old shouldn't say that" Faith scolds.

"While we're waiting, i'm going in the lab." Kibo said and then walked out.

"UGG! Wait up! we can't stay too long or the cake'll over-cook!" Faith exclaims.

Kibo was at the entrance of the lab. The night sky was glowing over Kib's tan leaf. The leaf reflected the light all around the city. What a beautiful light that shone through the night. Good thing the humans were in their homes. Kibo walked into the lab, with Faith following behind her.

"This place is freaky." Kibo said. Kibo turned to Faith. Something was off about Faith. Her head....her head was a ghost. Kibo just realized this. " AAAAHHHHH!!!" Kibo screamed, and then she used Iron tail on Faith. Her short stump of a tail grew as high as she actually was, with two humps in it. Kibo flipped and hit Faith straight in the face with the tail. Kibo's tail shrunk back to normal. When Kibo looked up, Faith's face was red and ghost free. Her whole face, not the spot where she was hit. Faith was in a rage. Now this was true terror.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU YOU BRAT!!!!" Faith screamed. Not only was her face shrieking withpain, but she just realized it had been twenty minutes. "THE CAKE!" Faith screamed and ran back to the empty gym. Kibo followed closely behind.

As soon as they got in there, they realized their biggest mistake. They were in the empty gym...that wasnt empty anymore. In front of them was the gym leader of the city, Brock.

"What are these creatures? I've never seen them before. Must be rare. Let me capture it. Go Pokeball!" Brock yells. He throws the Pokeball at Faith. Kibo knows Faith will be captured, so all Kibo coud do was watch. The Pokeball came at Faith only for a few seconds, but seemed like eternity to Kibo. She grown used to Faith. Faith was her friend. The ball hit Faith in the arm, however it bounced back.

" Oh my, you must be from a trainer. So sorry, but you have to leave now, and take your oran cake." Brock exclaims.

Dawn was emerging from the sky. Kibo still couldn't understand how a loner like Faith would be with a trainer. "Alright Faith, if you want to come with me, go ahead. I need some company."

"Sure" Faith says.

Kibo could tell she had a new member- no, a new friend. Her journey will no doubt be an expirience she wont forget.

Chapter 7:
New Enemy

"So, what's the next city?" Kibo asked Faith.

"I think it's Cerulean city. Hehe...that's the name of a colour." Faith chuckled.

"I think every city's a name of a colour." Kibo said.

"Hey, look there! There's a cave!" Faith replied.

A large cave was in their way, with nothing but Zubats hanging from the top. Suddenly, a small Cleffa emerged from there, looking battered and bruised. The Cleffa managed to crawl up to Kibo, but then it looked at her. The Cleffa's exaughsted face turned bitter.

"I will get you..." The Cleffa angrily said as it trudged away.

"What was that about?Do you know that guy?" Faith asked Kibo.

"No, never seen that Cleffa in my life! We might as well keep on trudging forward." Kibo said as she started toward the cave.

Faith looked at Kibo unsurely, but she decided to follow.

"Hey Faith, are you a runaway Pokemon?" Kibo asked.

"Uhh....Err.....He look, Zubats are flying!" Faith reluctantly said.

Kibo know she didn't want to talk about it, so she didn't stay on the subject either.

Kibo kept on wondering about that Cleffa....then an idea clicked to her. Did she just gain...an enemy?


Chapter 8:
Litwick In Peril!



Kibo and Faith went on through Mount Moon. The cave was full of Zubats hanging on the ceiling, Geodudes, hiding on the sides, and a couple of Clefairy dancing around. The cave wasn't any thing big, so they easily found the exit. Kibo stopped, which made Faith bump into Kibo.

"What the hell Kibo? Why'd you stop?!" Faith said in anger.

"Look, do you see light?" Kibo asked.

"Yes, that's the exit" Faith replied.

"But....there are three lights!" Kibo exclaimed.

Faith looked around somemore, and she did see two more lights. Faith started walking towards it, and kibo rushed after. They encounted two Litwicks, a female Litwick with a light blue flame, and a male litwick with a indigo flame. They both seemed really hurt.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Kibo questioned.

The male Litwick said, "Geodude....explosion....the horror!"

"We're messed up pretty bad...." The female Litwick said.

Faith then ran to Kibo's bag, and got the Oran Cake they forgot to eat. "Here, eat a sice of this you two" Faith offered.

The two Litwick both eat a slice. After just 10 seconds, the two Litwick stand up in perfect health.

"Oh, thank you! my name is Artemis, and this is Apollo!" The female Litwick Artemis said.

"So, where are you two heading?" Apollo asked.

"We're going to travel...to travel and never be caught." Kibo replied.

"So, are you two fugitives or what?" Apollo questioned.

"No, See, Kibo is a shiny Chikorita, and humans would do anything to get their hands on shinies, so Kibo's running to avoid capture, and I'm tagging along." Faith answered.

"Can we Join you?!?!? See my flame? It's different from Apollo's. I'm a shiny too. I wanna travel alongside you two!" Artemis pleaded.

"Can I come too? I wanna go on a Journey also!" Apollo pleaded.

"Sure, C'mon! First, we gotta get out of here" Kibo said.

"Hold on, let me get my bag of supplies!" Apollo remarked.

After 3 minutes, Apollo returned with his bag.

"Ok then, i see the exit right there" Faith said. Faith pointed 12 yards to the east, where a light shone through.

The group of four headed towards the exit, where a new city awaits. With the four's combined forces, they could get to Vermillion in a snap!


Chapter 9:
Dusk


The night sky made the team's efforts to get to the next city in vain. It was just to dark to see. Kibo, Faith, Artemis, and Apollo stopped their journey for the day at the exit of Mt. Moon.

"Hey Faith," Kibo suddenly asked, " At the Pewter gym, how did you not go in the Pokeball? Did you run from a trainer or something?"

Kibo stared at Faith's face. Faith was somewhat surprised Kibo asked that, and Faith stared at the ground. Immedietly, Kibo knew she shouldn't have said anything. Faith then did something that surprised even Kibo. Faith stood up on all fours and walked slowly to a nearby tree. Faith climbed up the tree and laided her head on the sturdiest branch. Usually, Faith would sing like a Chatot and say anything. It was depressing for Kibo to see Faith like that. Kibo turned to Artemis.

"So Artemis, how long were you an Apollo in that cave?" Kibo questioned.

Apollo moved from the log he was in and went over to Kibo and Artemis.

"We've been in that cave since birth. We....are orphans." Apollo said.

Apollo's smile immedietly fell away when he mentioned it. Artemis looked sad too. Kibo felt bad yet again. She slumped on the log she was on and fell asleep immedietly when she closed her eyes.



Collapsed Building, Near the Power Plant

A small pokemon walks into the remains of a collapsed building. The pokemon walks into a small entrance. The entraince is dark and murky. You might expect only rubbl to be in the remains, but right in the middle of the insides of the collapsed building is a stairway! The stairway is block by a boulder that appears unmovable. The Pokemon takes a deep breath and uses strength on the boulder. The boulder pushes to the side and the staircase is open.

The small pokemon walks down the corrider. The stairway was circular and made entirely of concrete. As he Pokemon walked down for what seem like 20 minutes, it finally approached a large, vacant room.

The room was full of Zubats and Crobats. They were all sleeping but the looks of it.

A voice boomed from the other end. "Who dares disturb me?!"

The pokemon looked up. There was a large hole on the other end of the ground with two beady eye coming from the shadows of it.

The Pokemon looked down and spoke, "I-it's me, Cleffa. I have found another shiny, a shiny Chickorita! I took a beating from some Roggenrola and saw the shiny. I came back here as soon as i saw it."

"Hmph! One more to add to my power. How strong was this Pokemon?" the voice asked.

"Umm....I saw it before in Pewter and saw it used Echoed Voice. It was really strong" The Cleffa answered.

"Then bring me the Shiny. One more strong shiny and I shall rule with an iron fist!!" The voice yelled with an echo.

"I shall bring it" The cleffa remarks and then leaves.


Route 4, Day Break

Kibo woke up to the sound of Pidgey's chirping in the bright blue sky. She looked around. The others were still asleep. Faith was still in the tree, while Artemis and Apolllo were slumped against a tree. Their flams were almost out, so that's probably how they don't cause forest fires.

Kibo stood up and went to the next town to sneak some food. She then saw the Cerulean Gym. It looked so peaceful.

So peaceful

CRAAACK!

A deafening crack sound cam from the gym. It came from the actually gym, not the inside! Suddenly, the Gym gave away and a Large, magestic bird came out. It had the colours of Gold and Silver on it.

The Rainbow bird.

Ho-oh....

Chapter 10:
Findings


Route 4, 10 minutes ago
Faith awoke to a cracking sound that could be heard from the next city! She looked around. Apollo and Artemis were sound asleep. Faith noticed Kibo was gone. Faith got up on all fours, but quickly fell down again. She looked at her leg. It was swollen a bit. She looked closely at the tree she slept in last night. It was full of Fireants!

Faith tried to get up again with all her might and eventually started to walk to Cerulean City.

Faith went through some tall grass and soon got to the City and saw Kibo in front of the gym.

Doesnt that idiot know she should stay out of sight? Faith thought. Faith started to yell for Kibo until Faith her the crack sound again. Suddenly, the gym gave away and in the rubble of it stood a large bird coloured gold and silver.

Faith heard Kibo mumble 'Ho-oh' softly. Faith turned and fled back to Route 4 in fear.

***

While Faith was running, She couldn't help wondering, "Why did I run? I'm usually very brave!

She stopped abruptly. She kept on thinking that question in her head. Why did she run? Why did she run? She sighed and hung her head low. She then brought her head back up with a spark in her eye.

"I am gonna go back. I'll keep running, but toward Cerulean city!"

She turned back to fight Ho-oh until something tugged her foot. Her foot felt a slight tickle. then burning!

Cerulean City, Now

Kibo looked at the large bird in awe. Ho-oh stared at Kibo, with intent. For a while, it seemed, all the two Pokemon did was stare.

Just stare...

A rusling in the leaves snapped Kibo back into reality. She turned her head sharply at the noise. Kibo could only see one purple paw for a split second. "Did i imagine it?" Thought Kibo, "Did i just imagine the sound?"

Kibo then gazed back at Ho-oh. Kibo gulped once and walked towards the bird.

Ho-oh flapped it's wings once to signal that it was pissed off and would kill anything in it's path. Kibo was scared shitless, but the Ho-oh wouldn't take no for an answer.

Kibo made the first move. She dug a hole in the ground and went under it. The ground shook a bit as Kibo descended in the hole. She burrowed right under Ho-oh.

Ho-oh simply closed it's eyes and stood still. It knew where Kibo was just by feeling the ground's vibrations. When Kibo got right under Ho-oh, it flew straight up. Right when Kibo came from the ground, Ho-oh let out a powerful attack. Ho-oh sent out a strong attack made from a flaming sand type substance. Ho-oh had used Sacred Ash.

Kibo got hit with the strong move and was blasted away in the air, leaving behind only a singed part of the leaf on her head.


Route 4, 8 minutes earlier

Faith's foot felt a burning feeling, like it was on fire. She turned to see Artemis's head face down on the ground right next to Faith's foot. Apollo came rushing from behind.

Artemis put her head up and said "Heh heh, heeeeeeeey.....how's it goin'?"

"Artemis, my foot was on fire!" Faith exclaimed.

"Heh heh....sorry. But I saw you leaving and I woke Apollo so we could see where you were going." Artemis confessed.

"Heh heh.....but Faith, why were you out there?" Apollo had questioned.

Faith stared down at the damp soil. The ground had little to no grass, on account alot of Rattatas and Nidorans ate most of it. "Well C'mon! We have to go to Cerulean City!"

"Why?" Artemis asked.

"Why not!?" Apollo snapped back.

Faith couldn't help but chuckle at the two siblings. "Hurry!"

The trio went though the path Faith had once went through to get to Cerulean City. Once they had got to the city, they saw Kibo being proppelled through the sky.

Artemis and Apollo ran towards the direction where Kibo was flown away, but all Faith could do was stand there.


Chapter 11:
Betrayed?


Kibo was blasted off into the sky blue sky. Passing through think layers of clouds, Kibo's face began to turn blue to the cold weater and the harsh wind that was hiting her face. She stared to think of what would happen if she were captured, somewhere far from the Lapras.

She didnt have to think much more because she started to land. She wasn't that far from the ground to be in the 3rd atomasphere out of the 4, thank the gods, so she didnt catch into flames and burn up. However, she was heading straight for grey shell-like thing.

When she landed, Kibo heard a crack, but not from her. Suddenly, a voice yelled "AAAIIIPPP!" A blue head turned to face Kibo.

"why....why did you hurt me?" The Pokemon said, painfully.

"So sorry, but i was blasted in the sky and landed on you. Uhh, who are you, and what city is this?" Kibo asked.

The Pokemon looked at the sky and back at Kibo. "I am Lapras."

Kibo sat straight up at the name. Kibo was looking for a Lapras.

"This city is Vermillion City" Continued the Lapras, " And this is Verillion Docks. Who Might you be?"

"I'm Kibo. I was told to come here for a Lapras." Kibo said.

The lapras suddenly jolted upight. "Ohh, i was told about you."

"By whom?" Questioned the curious Kibo.

"You need not know that. I am your transportation!" Lapras snapped.

Kibo looked up at the sky, thinking about how she lost to that Ho-oh. Of course she wouldnt win, she was a freaking Chickorita and that was a Ho-oh. A Ho-oh! Maybe Kibo wasn't as strong as she thought she was. Of course she wasn't, it was just dumb luck she defeated on a few Pokemon. How could she even think about taking on a HO-OH?!?! She put her head down in embarressment, even though no one actually saw her get pumbled by that bird, or she thought. She wasn't embarressed cause of what other people judged her for that incident, she was embarressed at herself

Suddenly, two voices came from a part of the Docks...


Cerulean City, 5 minutes ago

Artemis and Apollo ran over to the direction where Kibo was blasted off, which was the direction to Vermillion City. They trudged on through the thick grass and made it to Vermillion City.

They saw Kibo on a Lapras. They were about to approach her when something touched Apollo's ankle. Apollo jumped up in astonishment and quickly turned behind him. Faith was behind him.

"Tell Kibo this; 'George of Ontario dislikes bringing your envelopes' " Faith said with a serious look on her face.

Before any of them could respond, Faith disappeared.

"W-wha?" Artemis stuttered.

"Uhh....let's just go get Kibo" Apollo suggested.

They walked across the city and found Kibo talking to a Lapras.

"KIIIBOOO!" Artemis yelled.

Kibo turned her head and saw them.

"Kibo, Faith left and told us to tell you this; 'George of Ontario dislikes bringing your envelopes' " Apollo said.

A voice then said a lone word, "Goodbye", and, suddenly, a spherical item rolled under them, and let out a gaseous substance.

"Sleeping.....gas!" was all Kibo could manage to say before she and everyone else fell asleep...

A cat like figure emerged infront of them. "Hmph! Like she was my friend!"

Chapter 12:
Faith....Why?


Kibo woke up in a damp room. Near one corner, the corner right next to the door, laid a pile of empty cardboard boxes. Another corner, one parrarel to a steel door, had more cardboard bozes, but they were filled with Pokeballs. The corner next to the second corner mentioned had Artemis and Apollo, tied up and unconscious. In the final corner was Kibo, also tied by ropes that couldnt seem to break.

Kibo decided to use bite on the ropes. No good. She tried a razor leaf. Sharp leaves came from the leaf attached to the top of her head and went towards the ropes. Instead of the ropes breaking, the leaves broke!

Kibo sighed. She started thinking of the last things she heard before dazing into unconsciousness. She faintly remembered the phrase "George of Ontario dislikes bringing your envelopes." That is some fucked up sentance right there. She then remembered the last thing she heard before dozing off.

Goodbye. Kibo then realized that the phrase was an anogram for the word Goodbye! G for george, O for of, O for Ontario, D for dislikes, B for bringing, Y for your, and E for envelope. The letters spell G.O.O.D.B.Y.E., or Goodbye.

Kibo then recalled the voice right before she passed out. It sounded like........Faith's voice. Kibo was strucken with sadness and betrayal. Faith, her friend, had betrayed her.

"Why Faith.......Why?" Kibo asked herself. She peered towards the two Litwicks. Apollo was mumbling about fearsome Gyarados's, and Artemis was mumbling about dolphins becoming Pokemon.

Kibo slouched on her corner of the wall. She couldn't get out of these ropes, so it would be best for her to sleep so she would be well rested.

With a sigh, she limped to sleep.
(in progress)​

[/CENTER]
 
Last edited:
Re: A Hero is Born~ Pokemon Writing Chapter Two

Chapter Three:
The Journey Begins

Kibo was ready for small situations, but she needed a strategy if she wanted to survive. George, being the crafty Sceptile, offered to give her some strategies.

"Alright Kibo, here's how you use a offensive move for defense." George said. He went onto the middle of a hidden field and used Razor Leaf. He then went on the ground and spun while still using the move. The leaves went everywhere. It conveyed such magnificent beaaty with strong power to created a beautiful defensive move. Kibo gazed in awe.

"Now you do what I just did, Kibo." George told her. Kibo went in the middle, used Razor Leaf, and spun on the ground. She the used Vine whip to make the leaves smaller and sharper, making it stronger. All George could do was stand there, still with his jaws open.

"I....am speechless.." George stuttered. He knew Kibo could challenge anything life throws at her. Although, he was worried that Kibo wouldn't defend herself at the right time. That was al up to her. "Well Kibo, You are ready..." George finally said. Jenny was looking from the cave with one of her hatchlings. Jenny felt the same as George, but she knew if Kibo stayed, a human would catch her. Next month is tourist month; where humans come at every time of day.

"George......She must go now...." Jenny said, "Kibo, keep this locket with you, and this pouch with a month's supply of food and a map. Go to the Vermillion Docks. A Lapras will guide you to the Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova regions. You must keep running, or you will get captured." Jenny kissed Kibo on the head.

With that, Kibo was off, only taking one last look at them, and walked off.


Chapter Four:
Viridian


Kibo was still a young hatchling. She was vurnurable to dangers on her journey. Could she make it all the way to Vermillion City? She was too scaed to think more about it. She grabbed the locket around her neck. It wouldn't open. Kibo sighed with desperation.Kibo was in Viridian City now, but that was't far from her home. Vermillion City was much farther.

Kibo looked around the strange city. She remembered to stay out of sight. She hid behind a few bushes. A young girl walked by, and saw a tan leaf in the bushes. She tried to pick it up. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! WHY I OUGHTA!!!", Kibo screamed, but the young girl could only hear Chickorita noises. "How cute are you!" The girl screamed. The girl suddenly looked at Kibo's neck- a locket was there. The girl closed her eyes and got to eye level with Kibo.

"You must've gone away from home on a journey. My friend did that too. You go on your journey, and if anyone aks if I've seen a Shiny Chikorita, i'll say no. Now go on young Pokemon." The girl said to Kibo. Kibo smiled at the girl and took off for the forest.

The forest was dense and full of bug pokemon. "Yikes. Isn't there a way to go aroud it?" Kibo asked herself. She turned her head to the right and saw a flimsy tree. "Wonder if I could cut it?" Kibo again asked herself. She put up her front right paw and hit the tree. The tree only had a crack on it. Kibo kept on hitting it until at last, it broke, and Chikorita pressed onward through the short cut to Pewter City.​
 
Chapter Five:
Purrloin in Pewter

After going through the shortcut, kibo made it to Pewter city. "Wow, this city's bigger than i thought" Kibo said. After passing the Pokemart, Kibo saw a purple cat Pokemon, a Purrloin. However, Purrloins are usually not seen in Kanto. Kibo walked u to the Pokemon cautiouslly, for she knew Purrloins trick Pokemon and steal their items.

"Hi I'm Kibo! Who are you?" Kibo asked. "I'm Faith! Nice to meet you! Hey,wanna battle?" Faith asked. "Uh... sure...." Kibo said uneasily. What a weird request, especially after she just met her." But in somewhere empty, like an empty house!" Kibo suggested. "Sure. How about that empty gym?" the purrloin said. So they go inside the empty gym and battle.

Kibo has the first move, so she uses Double team, making a circle of clones. Purrloin uses faint attack, a move that hits without fail. Kibo was hurt severly. Kibo used her strongest move, echoed voice. Echoed voice is a move that gets stronger every time it's used. This was stronger than the last time. With that move, Purrloin couldn't take anymore, and fell. Kibo sighed a big sigh. "Hey, let's rest for now" Kibo suggested. "Sure" the Purrloin answered. With that, they fell asleep.​
 
It's a good plot, although a little cliche, but are you trying to write extremely short chapters? I don't feel I really know the characters as much as I should six chapters in. Add some scenes where Kibo just has conversations with her parents. This would help readers get to know your characters better. Although the story won't progress as quickly, conversations can offer a great place to insert foreshadowing, symbolism, and other literary elements that can make the reader think.
 
there will be a hell of a load of chapters. Kibo's parents wanted her to keep running...for the humans would surely catch a shiny. She has to get thrughout all of the regions. Every city is a chapter. And every chapter is another way to progress to Kibos adventure. There are alot of cities, so the chapters might be a little short.

Thanks for the comment
 
Yes, but that does not mean you cannot add some scenes where Kibo maybe runs while talking. Also, you never really explain why Kibo's parents didn't simply protect her like all of the others. More chapters does not necessarily mean that you need to write shorter chapters. You can possibly include Kibo going through the routes or combine two chapters of nearby cities (i.e.: Cerulean and Vermillion) to possibly lengthen the chapters.
Sorry if any of this is sounding mean, I'm trying to help :)
 
it doesnt sound mean at all! if my writing is critisized, i can tryto make it better.

I'll add on to it, thanks!
 
Aside from the length issue, which has already been addressed, you need separate paragraphs for different speakers. It helps everyone keep the characters' dialogue straight as well as helps with chapter length.

Additionally, try to describe moves and battles more! Instead of simply describing what the moves do, describe what they look like and how they do damage/affect the battlers. A good way to see how to do so would be looking at ASB battles and seeing how the referees describe moves.

Spell check and grammar check too: I can see a couple of uncapitalized and/or misspelled words.

It's fairly good for a beginner; keep working at improving!

(gosh, I gotta remember to rewrite Series Finale; the whole battle thing reminded me ^^;)
 
You need to split up the dialouge into multiple paragraphs so that it doesn't look like only one person is talking.
 
ok, i edited it alittle, still not done with chapter 6, and added alittle more detail
 
Rizadon, it is good, but explain just a little more. I just don't understand. Try going to the home page, all the way to the bottom of the menu, then clicking Fan Fiction, and read some of those. Those are good examples. But again this is a very good job if this is your first fan fiction.
 
Bump

Chapter 7:
New Enemy

"So, what's the next city?" Kibo asked Faith.

"I think it's Cerulean city. Hehe...that's the name of a colour." Faith chuckled.

"I think every city's a name of a colour." Kibo said.

"Hey, look there! There's a cave!" Faith replied.

A large cave was in their way, with nothing but Zubats hanging from the top. Suddenly, a small Cleffa emerged from there, looking battered and bruised. The Cleffa managed to crawl up to Kibo, but then it looked at her. The Cleffa's exaughsted face turned bitter.

"I will get you..." The Cleffa angrily said as it trudged away.

"What was that about?Do you know that guy?" Faith asked Kibo.

"No, never seen that Cleffa in my life! We might as well keep on trudging forward." Kibo said as she started toward the cave.

Faith looked at Kibo unsurely, but she decided to follow.

"Hey Faith, are you a runaway Pokemon?" Kibo asked.

"Uhh....Err.....He look, Zubats are flying!" Faith reluctantly said.

Kibo know she didn't want to talk about it, so she didn't stay on the subject either.

Kibo kept on wondering about that Cleffa....then an idea clicked to her. Did she just gain...an enemy?


 
Chapter 8:
Litwick In Peril!



Kibo and Faith went on through Mount Moon. The cave was full of Zubats hanging on the ceiling, Geodudes, hiding on the sides, and a couple of Clefairy dancing around. The cave wasn't any thing big, so they easily found the exit. Kibo stopped, which made Faith bump into Kibo.

"What the hell Kibo? Why'd you stop?!" Faith said in anger.

"Look, do you see light?" Kibo asked.

"Yes, that's the exit" Faith replied.

"But....there are three lights!" Kibo exclaimed.

Faith looked around somemore, and she did see two more lights. Faith started walking towards it, and kibo rushed after. They encounted two Litwicks, a female Litwick with a light blue flame, and a male litwick with a indigo flame. They both seemed really hurt.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Kibo questioned.

The male Litwick said, "Geodude....explosion....the horror!"

"We're messed up pretty bad...." The female Litwick said.

Faith then ran to Kibo's bag, and got the Oran Cake they forgot to eat. "Here, eat a sice of this you two" Faith offered.

The two Litwick both eat a slice. After just 10 seconds, the two Litwick stand up in perfect health.

"Oh, thank you! my name is Artemis, and this is Apollo!" The female Litwick Artemis said.

"So, where are you two heading?" Apollo asked.

"We're going to travel...to travel and never be caught." Kibo replied.

"So, are you two fugitives or what?" Apollo questioned.

"No, See, Kibo is a shiny Chikorita, and humans would do anything to get their hands on shinies, so Kibo's running to avoid capture, and I'm tagging along." Faith answered.

"Can we Join you?!?!? See my flame? It's different from Apollo's. I'm a shiny too. I wanna travel alongside you two!" Artemis pleaded.

"Can I come too? I wanna go on a Journey also!" Apollo pleaded.

"Sure, C'mon! First, we gotta get out of here" Kibo said.

"Hold on, let me get my bag of supplies!" Apollo remarked.

After 3 minutes, Apollo returned with his bag.

"Ok then, i see the exit right there" Faith said. Faith pointed 12 yards to the east, where a light shone through.

The group of four headed towards the exit, where a new city awaits. With the four's combined forces, they could get to Vermillion in a snap!​
 
123go!
um i'll just list this
1.Kibo=a little oped.
2.Names. d:
3.tiny "chapters."
4.The word "said." Overuse.
5.DESCRIPTIOOON


other than that, it's aaall goood
 
Constructive criticism would be a little more constructive if you explained some of your criticisms, you know.

The length issue has already been mentioned, but try to describe things - show, don't tell. It's a pretty important rule of storytelling to ensure that your audience can see what's going on, rather than be told it. As well, Kibo is showing strong signs of being a Mary Sue: a character that has over-idealized traits. Kibo is a shiny, incredibly strong - to the point of defeating her parents soundly while still very young - talks at an age when she shouldn't be, is eloquent and in general is extremely special and important.

It's a bit jarring to read, as to contrast with that... she has no set personality. The dialogue she has with everyone else is flat, and doesn't show any particular character development or emotions. Anything she is feeling is told to us by the narration, rather than shown.

All the characters could stand to actually have their personalities shown. You also have some grammar issues - try to use a spellcheck. You can use a word processor to clear up typos and misspelled words - if you don't have Office, you can download Open Office which offers most of the same features.
 
Next three chapters;


Chapter 9:
Dusk


The night sky made the team's efforts to get to the next city in vain. It was just to dark to see. Kibo, Faith, Artemis, and Apollo stopped their journey for the day at the exit of Mt. Moon.

"Hey Faith," Kibo suddenly asked, " At the Pewter gym, how did you not go in the Pokeball? Did you run from a trainer or something?"

Kibo stared at Faith's face. Faith was somewhat surprised Kibo asked that, and Faith stared at the ground. Immedietly, Kibo knew she shouldn't have said anything. Faith then did something that surprised even Kibo. Faith stood up on all fours and walked slowly to a nearby tree. Faith climbed up the tree and laided her head on the sturdiest branch. Usually, Faith would sing like a Chatot and say anything. It was depressing for Kibo to see Faith like that. Kibo turned to Artemis.

"So Artemis, how long were you an Apollo in that cave?" Kibo questioned.

Apollo moved from the log he was in and went over to Kibo and Artemis.

"We've been in that cave since birth. We....are orphans." Apollo said.

Apollo's smile immedietly fell away when he mentioned it. Artemis looked sad too. Kibo felt bad yet again. She slumped on the log she was on and fell asleep immedietly when she closed her eyes.



Collapsed Building, Near the Power Plant

A small pokemon walks into the remains of a collapsed building. The pokemon walks into a small entrance. The entraince is dark and murky. You might expect only rubbl to be in the remains, but right in the middle of the insides of the collapsed building is a stairway! The stairway is block by a boulder that appears unmovable. The Pokemon takes a deep breath and uses strength on the boulder. The boulder pushes to the side and the staircase is open.

The small pokemon walks down the corrider. The stairway was circular and made entirely of concrete. As he Pokemon walked down for what seem like 20 minutes, it finally approached a large, vacant room.

The room was full of Zubats and Crobats. They were all sleeping but the looks of it.

A voice boomed from the other end. "Who dares disturb me?!"

The pokemon looked up. There was a large hole on the other end of the ground with two beady eye coming from the shadows of it.

The Pokemon looked down and spoke, "I-it's me, Cleffa. I have found another shiny, a shiny Chickorita! I took a beating from some Roggenrola and saw the shiny. I came back here as soon as i saw it."

"Hmph! One more to add to my power. How strong was this Pokemon?" the voice asked.

"Umm....I saw it before in Pewter and saw it used Echoed Voice. It was really strong" The Cleffa answered.

"Then bring me the Shiny. One more strong shiny and I shall rule with an iron fist!!" The voice yelled with an echo.

"I shall bring it" The cleffa remarks and then leaves.


Route 4, Day Break

Kibo woke up to the sound of Pidgey's chirping in the bright blue sky. She looked around. The others were still asleep. Faith was still in the tree, while Artemis and Apolllo were slumped against a tree. Their flams were almost out, so that's probably how they don't cause forest fires.

Kibo stood up and went to the next town to sneak some food. She then saw the Cerulean Gym. It looked so peaceful.

So peaceful

CRAAACK!

A deafening crack sound cam from the gym. It came from the actually gym, not the inside! Suddenly, the Gym gave away and a Large, magestic bird came out. It had the colours of Gold and Silver on it.

The Rainbow bird.

Ho-oh....

Chapter 10:
Findings


Route 4, 10 minutes ago

Faith awoke to a cracking sound that could be heard from the next city! She looked around. Apollo and Artemis were sound asleep. Faith noticed Kibo was gone. Faith got up on all fours, but quickly fell down again. She looked at her leg. It was swollen a bit. She looked closely at the tree she slept in last night. It was full of Fireants!

Faith tried to get up again with all her might and eventually started to walk to Cerulean City.

Faith went through some tall grass and soon got to the City and saw Kibo in front of the gym.

Doesnt that idiot know she should stay out of sight? Faith thought. Faith started to yell for Kibo until Faith her the crack sound again. Suddenly, the gym gave away and in the rubble of it stood a large bird coloured gold and silver.

Faith heard Kibo mumble 'Ho-oh' softly. Faith turned and fled back to Route 4 in fear.

***

While Faith was running, She couldn't help wondering, "Why did I run? I'm usually very brave!

She stopped abruptly. She kept on thinking that question in her head. Why did she run? Why did she run? She sighed and hung her head low. She then brought her head back up with a spark in her eye.

"I am gonna go back. I'll keep running, but toward Cerulean city!"

She turned back to fight Ho-oh until something tugged her foot. Her foot felt a slight tickle. then burning!

Cerulean City, Now

Kibo looked at the large bird in awe. Ho-oh stared at Kibo, with intent. For a while, it seemed, all the two Pokemon did was stare.

Just stare...

A rusling in the leaves snapped Kibo back into reality. She turned her head sharply at the noise. Kibo could only see one purple paw for a split second. "Did i imagine it?" Thought Kibo, "Did i just imagine the sound?"

Kibo then gazed back at Ho-oh. Kibo gulped once and walked towards the bird.

Ho-oh flapped it's wings once to singal it was pissed off and would kill anything in it's path. Kibo was scared shitless, but the Ho-oh wouldn't take no for an answer.

Kibo made the first move. She dug a hole in the ground and went under it. The ground shook a bit as Kibo descended in the hole. She burrowed right under Ho-oh.

Ho-oh simply closed it's eyes and stood still. It knew where Kibo was just by feeling the ground's vibrations. When Kibo got right under Ho-oh, it flew straight up. Right when Kibo came from the ground, Ho-oh let out a powerful attack. Ho-oh sent out a strong attack made from a flaming sand type substance. Ho-oh had used Sacred Ash.

Kibo got hit with the strong move and was blasted away in the air, leaving behind only a singed part of the leaf on her head.


Route 4, 8 minutes earlier

Faith's foot felt a burning feeling, like it was on fire. She turned to see Artemis's head face down on the ground right next to Faith's foot. Apollo came rushing from behind.

Artemis put her head up and said "Heh heh, heeeeeeeey.....how's it goin'?"

"Artemis, my foot was on fire!" Faith exclaimed.

"Heh heh....sorry. But I saw you leaving and I woke Apollo so we could see where you were going." Artemis confessed.

"Heh heh.....but Faith, why were you out there?" Apollo had questioned.

Faith stared down at the damp soil. The ground had little to no grass, on account alot of Rattatas and Nidorans ate most of it. "Well C'mon! We have to go to Cerulean City!"

"Why?" Artemis asked.

"Why not!?" Apollo snapped back.

Faith couldn't help but chuckle at the two siblings. "Hurry!"

The trio went though the path Faith had once went through to get to Cerulean City. Once they had got to the city, they saw Kibo being proppelled through the sky.

Artemis and Apollo ran towards the direction where Kibo was flown away, but all Faith could do was stand there.


Chapter 11:
Betrayed?


Kibo was blasted off into the sky blue sky. Passing through think layers of clouds, Kibo's face began to turn blue to the cold weater and the harsh wind that was hiting her face. She stared to think of what would happen if she were captured, somewhere far from the Lapras.

She didnt have to think much more because she started to land. She wasn't that far from the ground to be in the 3rd atomasphere out of the 4, thank the gods, so she didnt catch into flames and burn up. However, she was heading straight for grey shell-like thing.

When she landed, Kibo heard a crack, but not from her. Suddenly, a voice yelled "AAAIIIPPP!" A blue head turned to face Kibo.

"why....why did you hurt me?" The Pokemon said, painfully.

"So sorry, but i was blasted in the sky and landed on you. Uhh, who are you, and what city is this?" Kibo asked.

The Pokemon looked at the sky and back at Kibo. "I am Lapras."

Kibo sat straight up at the name. Kibo was looking for a Lapras.

"This city is Vermillion City" Continued the Lapras, " And this is Verillion Docks. Who Might you be?"

"I'm Kibo. I was told to come here for a Lapras." Kibo said.

The lapras suddenly jolted upight. "Ohh, i was told about you."

"By whom?" Questioned the curious Kibo.

"You need not know that. I am your transportation!" Lapras snapped.

Kibo looked up at the sky, thinking about how she lost to that Ho-oh. Of course she wouldnt win, she was a freaking Chickorita and that was a Ho-oh. A Ho-oh! Maybe Kibo wasn't as strong as she thought she was. Of course she wasn't, it was just dumb luck she defeated on a few Pokemon. How could she even think about taking on a HO-OH?!?! She put her head down in embarressment, even though no one actually saw her get pumbled by that bird, or she thought. She wasn't embarressed cause of what other people judged her for that incident, she was embarressed at herself

Suddenly, two voices came from a part of the Docks...

Cerulean City, 5 minutes ago

Artemis and Apollo ran over to the direction where Kibo was blasted off, which was the direction to Vermillion City. They trudged on through the thick grass and made it to Vermillion City.

They saw Kibo on a Lapras. They were about to approach her when something touched Apollo's ankle. Apollo jumped up in astonishment and quickly turned behind him. Faith was behind him.

"Tell Kibo this; 'George of Ontario dislikes bringing your envelopes' " Faith said with a serious look on her face.

Before any of them could respond, Faith disappeared.

"W-wha?" Artemis stuttered.

"Uhh....let's just go get Kibo" Apollo suggested.

They walked across the city and found Kibo talking to a Lapras.

"KIIIBOOO!" Artemis yelled.

Kibo turned her head and saw them.

"Kibo, Faith left and told us to tell you this; 'George of Ontario dislikes bringing your envelopes' " Apollo said.

A voice then said a lone word, "Goodbye", and, suddenly, a spherical item rolled under them, and let out a gaseous substance.

"Sleeping.....gas!" was all Kibo could manage to say before she and everyone else fell asleep...

A cat like figure emerged infront of them. "Hmph! Like she was my friend!"​
 
SO, editted my writing and added a portion of chapter twelve. I gave much more details than the other chapters, since i'm more experienced on writing now. =D
 
Back
Top Bottom