Ask Altmer Anything

[nastypass]

I want to be an engineer, what specific field should I go into?

 

[BillyMays123]

Why do I make friends with such odd things? (for example,this week it's a pear)

 

[Tarvos]

Who invented DDT?

Fuck if I know, google it.

Do people name guns after boys or girls?

Pet dolphins.

What's the funniest thing ever?

Llamas.

i'm okay, right?

Sure, dear.

is there a paraell universe in wich pokemon are real

No, but there is a parallel universe where I tear your body into 40 pieces.

I want to be an engineer, what specific field should I go into?

Any of them. Engineers are always needed. I recommend Chemical, Biomedical, Electronic, Mechanical, Aerospace. Just check out what you want. Personally I'm a chemical engineer. Or not yet, but studying to be one.

Why do I make friends with such odd things? (for example,this week it's a pear)

In the absence of humans, you need to be happy.

 

[Dr Frank]

Why are you such a tolerant, happy, joyous, good-natured jolly old man?

 

[H-land]

What are your thoughts on the global economy?

 

[Tarvos]

What are your thoughts on the global economy?

It's people's own fault they succumb to greed and want more money. That's all I can say here since I'm not an economist by any stretch of the term, I hate the subject, etc.

Why are you such a tolerant, happy, joyous, good-natured jolly old man?

I was raised in the Hippie Country, full of love and holding hands and kumbaya. Free sex for all ;x

 

[Dr Frank]

Why have I posted the nth time in this thread right after you did?

 

[nastypass]

Why have I posted the nth time in this thread right after you did?

Can I answer this question for you? I think I know why.

 

[Tarvos]

Can I answer this question for you? I think I know why.

Why have I posted the nth time in this thread right after you did?

go ahead

 

[nyuu]

What are your thoughts on recreational drug use? I will be a sadnwt if it's just a thumbs up or thumbs down

 

[nastypass]

Why have I posted the nth time in this thread right after you did?

Because you feel like bothering Altmer with pointless questions, and have nothing better to do. Also, it's the nth time because you haven't been keeping track.

 

[Dr Frank]

Also, it's the nth time because you haven't been keeping track.

Correct.

Because you feel like bothering Altmer with pointless questions, and have nothing better to do.

Not quite so.


So, er, who is the king of the world?

 

[Tarvos]

What are your thoughts on recreational drug use? I will be a sadnwt if it's just a thumbs up or thumbs down

Health problem, not a crime problem unless you harm someone else (i.e. no drunk driving). people should be allowed to do what they want to their own body

but personally I don't use anything except alcohol (and even that is a rarity)

Correct.


Not quite so.


So, er, who is the king of the world?

I am.

 

[FKOD]

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
If your name was Dude Steel, could you punch out the sun?
Can you grow a beard out of sheer will?
Who would win in a fight: God or an abnormally small lemon?
What do you think FKOD stands for?
Who came out of the door: the lady or the tiger?
Can you lick mars and wear a tie at the same time?
Is Gorblesnatch von Humperdink a good name?
If you could rename every citizen in a city, would you?
Did you know that Tom Waits is a minor deity?
Are shopkeepers really invincible?

 

[ultraviolet]

erf what do I do about artblock :C

 

[Dr Frank]

Why did FKOD ask so many relevant questions?

 

[Tarvos]

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

No one with a brain.

If your name was Dude Steel, could you punch out the sun?

If your name was Mister Moron, would you commit suicide? Please tell me the answer's yes.

Can you grow a beard out of sheer will?

No. But beards grow regardless so that is pointless.

Who would win in a fight: God or an abnormally small lemon?

You can't fight something that doesn't exist.

What do you think FKOD stands for?

FucKOffandDie

Who came out of the door: the lady or the tiger?

The lady's new son.

Can you lick mars and wear a tie at the same time?

No, but I could lick Uranus.

Is Gorblesnatch von Humperdink a good name?

Better than yours, Crazy McLoonybin.

If you could rename every citizen in a city, would you?

Only if they lived in Fuck Youtown, situated in Goanddieaterribledeathbytorturestan.

Did you know that Tom Waits is a minor deity?

I think Tom's still waiting to be one.

Are shopkeepers really invincible?

Judging by the fact you can always hit on them, no.

erf what do I do about artblock :C

Drink tea with Picasso. Alternatively, just do something else.

Why did FKOD ask so many relevant questions?

Why do you not ask relevant questions?

 

[J.T.]

Do you have any good fantasy or sci-fi book recommendations?

 

[Tarvos]

Do you have any good fantasy or sci-fi book recommendations?

The Bible.

 

[FKOD]

Can Virginia Woolf see the future? If so, what's her favorite color?
No, I'd change my name to Hella Tankblaster. Isn't that a great name?
If that's so, then why the heck don't I have a beard?
Wait... abnormally small lemons don't exist?
Am I going to be banned from kid's sites?
Why didn't Frank Stockton tell us that?
Gas giants are the tastiest kinds of planets, am I right?
Crazy McLoonybin is only my suraname. My first name is Hella Tankblaster. Does that mean I'm entitled to ham?
If I gave you five dollars, would you throw a pie at the mayor of that town?
You didn't go into that barn, did you?
So if I needed to defeat the manager of Wal-Mart in a fight to the death, I could?
What's your favorite kind of tea?
On a scale from delicious cakes to fine taffy, how relevant are my questions?