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Asking People Out

kyeugh

kyeugh

onion witch
Pronoun
she/her
Wasn't sure where else to put this, so I filed it under miscy.

So, I plan to ask someone out soon, and no one can seem to give me any advice, soo...

What would be the best-case scenario to you when it comes to someone asking you out?
 
I think it's really important when you ask someone out that you tell them it's not really a big deal (even if it is, to you). Like "so I think you're kind of cute and I was wondering if we could go out sometime! if not that's cool too we can just hang out regular style" or something, because it can be really intimidating when someone's confessing their deep love for you and being super romantic. Especially when you're not that into them! Because you can tell they've built themselves up on this idea of being your romantic partner and then you're the one that has to tear that all down. It sucks!
Acting like it's not a big deal also helps with rejection in my experience! I asked out a friend a while ago and I said "it isn't that important but by the way I like you" and he was like "aw no thanks, you're sweet though" and it sucked but I was okay! I got over it really quickly because I'd tried hard to make sure I wasn't projecting this huge idea of ~romantic love~ onto him and it was fine and we're still friends and we talk still.

It is different when you're a teenager though, especially because school and maybe your peers all have partners and you feel left out or you want a prom date or something.
 
Depends entirely on the person, and your age/environment. A little more information on that would be helpful, but general advice that always works is to phrase it as a statement, not a question. For example "I think you're cute, we should hang out sometime" as opposed to "I think you're cute, want to hang out sometime?" It's a little psychological trick that'll up your chances a bit. Be confident, try your best to balance your hopes and expectations; high hopes and low expectations should even out to a pretty normal feeling. Be casual, but don't be bored.
 
Music Dragon said:
Yeah, do this. I usually go with "Hey baby, what do you want for breakfast tomorrow?" So far it's never worked, but come on. You know you want to!
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No I don't. Who wouldn't want to go out with MD?!

But yeah, I'm seconding what everyone (mostly) else said! It'll be super weird if you go "I've loved you since the beginning of tiiiime~~ Let's go out." and then she's like "bbbbut I don't like you aaaaa"! I'd say to phrase it as a more casual than romantic statement, like "Oh, want to hang out sometime?" Actually.

Are you guys friends? :o That might make it easier to tell her after you've become really good friends! Or something.

/uselessrambling
 
Qvalador said:
What would be the best-case scenario to you when it comes to someone asking you out?
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1) I'm not dating anyone at the moment.
2) Don't act clingy. I hate to hear things like "I need you".
3) Don't act like I'm obligated to accept. If I say no, that means no. Don't ask again.
4) Ideally, they are a wizard.
5) Make sure you actually have things in common. If you don't know, just try hanging out first.
 
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