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Calvinball 2019: The Days Are Just Packed

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harken!

forsoo'he I have journeyed upon ye olden ikea and purchased for mine self upon this day a malm beside surface for merely 4.99 coin! A grand excursion say I!
 
so i have no fucking idea how to use old english

uh

verily harken forsoo?h i dislike the new rule which we've been given

ye and more words

proposal to remove rules regarding words
 
so keldeoe yellede in dm for me usinge our forbiddene keye

which i was avoindinge, however, i'm dumb and failed

i'm so using olde englishe

i'm unhappy

e
(e)
 
i believe, old chap, you will be behooved by learning our dear friend's name is spelled, in olde english, yond alchemie professor of 1422
 
Harke! Ie ame unablee toe speake olde englishe soe Ie plane one merelye addinge e's one everye worde Ie cane, withe noe worde beinge sparede, ande hopee suche ae deede wille sufficee. Anywaye, Ie feele wee shoulde heare yondere alchemye professor'se sidee beforee racinge fore a lynche.
 
hail! do forgive my absence; i was occupied by, ahem, Pressing Affaires. now my conscience does wander— which devilishe and, god be good, ABSURDLY good-looking FIEND could have impos'd this undue hindrance on our Speeche? why, i declaire that we ready ye gallows and rope her (or him, of course, ohoho!) by morrow!

i shall heed the suspicion ye have, with such urgency, lain on ye goode and revered alchemie professoe of 1422 (year of our Lord). however, i believe he is owed by the laws of our land a fair… a fair… a fair…

egads! alas! ye otherworldly, previously discuss'd menace pins mine Mouth closed and precludes my speech! that curs'd symbol, following S, fails sadly at mine Lips by some Force So Foule. my apologies, good fellows… my sincere apologies, indeed…
 
verily, for why in fuck are you speeke in such curs'ded runes, mexxieur qva and goode Speedye Maneuver
 
Harken! Be warned a second occurance of such accursed rune hav penalised me such: mine say in who shall be gallowed has been removed ihr day!! Recommend I yon al' in addi'ion yon f key before delivering ye crier ye pos'

Yon foolish and devilish affair yon proposal is and like origins from a wolf me'hinks. If ye be separa'e proposal ye olde English and ye accursed rune, me'hinks 'he prior be made in japes bu' 'he second is cer'ainly a lain cage fore our villagye ihr suffering hinderance!!
 
Current Votes

Chemist1422 (4): Butterfree (#13), Eifie (#29), RedneckPhoenix (#30), Chemist1422 (#35)
Not voting: qva, Stryke, Panini, Hiikaru

~22 hours left for discussion and submissions to ye olde Post Bingo event!
 
Mine urge is ere acknowledging a lack in wagon movemen' as 'o indica'e a lack of concern from wilves o'er gallowing yon professor - surely a priori'y in such a small group as yon would be 'o save ere par'ners - ye' may be said yon professor is elec'ing himself for ye gallows and has murmured very minimally and is correc' yon free margerine should have resolu'ion, if 'o believed ere informa'ion is.

Blessed slumber for all upon ye nigh' and release from all word prisons!
 
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