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Dazel said:
There, I fixed that for you.

However, the fishing rods didn't seem to hold very well, as wood wasn't very malleable and it was very difficult to detect bites on your hook.
Click to expand...

So they turned them into torches and raided the nearby Kingdom of Derpland, just for fun.
 
The citizens of derpland flipped their shit and held their own, to their surprise.
 
Zombie Hussein instituted the "Thursday Night Thriller" curfew, in which citizens were eaten by zombies if they didn't go back home. Many innocents died...
 
This, however, caused more people to be turned into zombies, and more, and more...
 
However, these were not conventional zombies; these zombies retained their cognitive abilities, just not their motor skills, so they were unable to carry out any of the complex actions they may have wished to.
 
Zombie Saddam Hussein decided to attempt to enslave these able-bodied zombies.
 
The zombies staged yet another coup, consuming ZSH. Their leader ate his brain, and obtained all his knowledge, wisdom, memories and fetishes.
 
Satan had frequent talks an made plans with Saddam, because that's what brothers do.
 
Unfortunately, the adoption of the Androvarkian Calendar in the year 5781 made such a date impossible, as it became mandatory to record the date in a quinary number system.
 
Satan, foiled again by the silly inconsistency of human beings, travelled into the past and released his rage on Serbia.
 
Due to a logistical error, Satan ended up attacking the Kingdom of Assyria. The Assyrians, in retaliation, invaded Hell and overthrew its government.
 
Now there are Assyrian demons assassinating people, and the problem still looks for an answer today.
 
Grumpy cat descends from the cosmos, and his disapproval of everything vaporizes the assassins.
 
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