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Negative body features thread

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Chopsuey

Chopsuey

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I just thought we should have one to go along with the positive body features thread.

As for myself, I have oddly small hands even though I have wide shoulders and decent sized arms. The only pro to them is that my fingers are thin, which is good for playing guitar.

Not sure whether to consider it negative, but everyone tells me I have tiny nipples. Whatever.

Also, wide hip bones. Not good for a guy.
 
My brain is really, really huge. I had this transplant... Back when I was young, they told us the size of your brain was directly tied to your intelligence, so I had them put the brain of a sperm whale inside my head. It doesn't really fit very well. It looks weird. It's also very painful. Sometimes little bits of brain just... leak out through my ear. And it didn't make me any smarter, either. In fact, if anything, I feel dumb. I feel dumb for having my real brain removed and replaced with a sperm whale's brain. I regret that decision. I regret it deeply. But reversing the surgery would be too dangerous now. Sometimes I think about what I would do if I had a normal-sized head and brain. I could go to the mall and nobody would laugh at me. Maybe I could start wearing hats again. I miss wearing hats. I think. I don't remember, because my memories of wearing hats were removed along with my old brain. I've lost a lot of memories that way. I don't actually recall ever asking anyone to replace my brain with a sperm whale's brain. Everybody tells me I consented to it, but I can't remember. I don't remember my childhood. I have these memories of being a sperm whale, swimming around in the water and just... being a whale. It's so weird though, because I know for a fact I never was a whale, but I have these memories that aren't really mine and sometimes it scares me. I scare myself when I think too hard about the past. Sometimes I feel this urge to just throw myself in the ocean and swim away and be a whale, but then I realize I'm going crazy and I tell myself not to go crazy and be a whale and then I lock myself in my room and I hide under my bed and tell myself I'm not really a whale, I just have a sperm whale's brain. I think I need help, but I don't know who to turn to. My parents disowned me after the surgery. I don't have any real friends because I have a sperm whale's brain and everybody thinks I'm a freak. My fake friends tell me I used to like pizza, but now I crave squid all the time. I'm very lonely. I've tried dating. It went really well this one time, but then I suddenly felt the need to fall down on the floor and flop about, and I think that scared her away. I just want somebody to talk to me, and not judge me for having a sperm whale's brain.

I also have sort of a stubby nose.
 
Music Dragon said:
My brain is really, really huge. I had this transplant... Back when I was young, they told us the size of your brain was directly tied to your intelligence, so I had them put the brain of a sperm whale inside my head. It doesn't really fit very well. It looks weird. It's also very painful. Sometimes little bits of brain just... leak out through my ear. And it didn't make me any smarter, either. In fact, if anything, I feel dumb. I feel dumb for having my real brain removed and replaced with a sperm whale's brain. I regret that decision. I regret it deeply. But reversing the surgery would be too dangerous now. Sometimes I think about what I would do if I had a normal-sized head and brain. I could go to the mall and nobody would laugh at me. Maybe I could start wearing hats again. I miss wearing hats. I think. I don't remember, because my memories of wearing hats were removed along with my old brain. I've lost a lot of memories that way. I don't actually recall ever asking anyone to replace my brain with a sperm whale's brain. Everybody tells me I consented to it, but I can't remember. I don't remember my childhood. I have these memories of being a sperm whale, swimming around in the water and just... being a whale. It's so weird though, because I know for a fact I never was a whale, but I have these memories that aren't really mine and sometimes it scares me. I scare myself when I think too hard about the past. Sometimes I feel this urge to just throw myself in the ocean and swim away and be a whale, but then I realize I'm going crazy and I tell myself not to go crazy and be a whale and then I lock myself in my room and I hide under my bed and tell myself I'm not really a whale, I just have a sperm whale's brain. I think I need help, but I don't know who to turn to. My parents disowned me after the surgery. I don't have any real friends because I have a sperm whale's brain and everybody thinks I'm a freak. My fake friends tell me I used to like pizza, but now I crave squid all the time. I'm very lonely. I've tried dating. It went really well this one time, but then I suddenly felt the need to fall down on the floor and flop about, and I think that scared her away. I just want somebody to talk to me, and not judge me for having a sperm whale's brain.

I also have sort of a stubby nose.
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A stubby nose? YOU FREAK!!!
 
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