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Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

Terry. T.

Banned
Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

It's time, for a new comic!

Issues:
Issue 1
Issue 2

Issue 3 up tomorrow!

And thanks to the Spriter's Resource for everything!
 
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Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

Okay, the dialogue is a bit shaky.
"WHO ARE YOU?"
"I'm Eevee. You're a Gastrodon."
"WAHH! I'M A POKEMON! *FLAIL*"
It makes little sense to go from asking who the other person is to having them respond what Pokemon you are. :/
And why did the person randomly pass out? I know you, Terry. You'll respond, "You'll see!" but it still won't make any sense.
Anyways, why is he telling him that he's a Gastrodon? That doesn't make sense- he doesn't have any knowledge of the person being a human, and it's just silly. And then he suddenly comes to grips with the fact that he's a Pokemon in an instant and they switch subjects rapidly to a guild...
It's unoriginal; I can think of an actually funny and creative sprite comic on this very forum. This rips it off a bit.
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

It doesn't matter. The comics aren't funny and I think I have that same feeling Ayame has, you're somewhat ripping this certain funny and creative comic...just try and be funny and creative.
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

I can think of an actually funny and creative sprite comic on this very forum.

I have that same feeling Ayame has, you're somewhat ripping this certain funny and creative comic...just try and be funny and creative.

At least the other comic has an original storyline...

Which one, I wonder?... ^^" Anyway, of course it's not funny or creative two issues in, I doubt even Oddity was at that stage.

Anyway, I think there's a serious problem with storyline development here; you've done in two issues what I did in seven. And with just one panel per issue that's ridiculously fast. What's more, we haven't been told anything about the characters, or the situation they're in, or where they're going and what they're doing, so it's getting hard to follow already.

Just some pointers =)

Still, it's silly to judge at this early stage; I'd just recommend you try to take it in one of these directions as you continue.

(And I'd suggest updating when you have a decent size chunk of issues, rather than one issue per day; that way people get to read one section of the story at a time, and it won't feel qite so slow.)
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

The main thing about making a sprite comic is that it's your sprite comic. If any one helps, it's not your sprite comic any more; it's theirs also. Plus, if you ask them to help, you don't get any experience because the criticism that others are giving is partly directed towards them, and you also don't get practice at what you need to improve on.

If it's too long for you to read, which I doubt it is, I'll keep it short.

Keep it your sprite comic.
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

I have to admit, this isn't looking too good...you gotta work on all the pointers everyone's given you so far.

And I know of no webcomic that is made by more then one person. Different people may upload different issues, but they never have a continuing storyline like this one will have. Even though I'm credited in Mike's comics, I'm only ever involved in giving opinion as to some jokes/plot devices and more often then not, it's when it concerns the 'me' he's included in his works. I certainly don't have equal say in his work and that's the way it should be.

Just stick at it by yourself and take on board what everyone has said.
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

*cracks fingers* *clears throght* *grabs a book of origionality...

And a flamethrower for some odd reason*

Okay, first off... the legnth. Each issue is only one palel long, and I highly reccomend at least four in an issue.*grabs own work-in-progress* It's also much easier for a beginner to use the text tool on paint.*points to diologe*

Second; the point. In the first two comics, it explains nothing of the overall situation. Also, only two characters have speaked, or appeared for that matter, don't you think you could show them accually going to the guild? Becuase it would help if you showed a map thingy mabbobber shot, showing where they were and where they are now.

Third; Don't worry, comics don't have to be funny, but I highly suggest that you add some comic relief if they aren't ment to be funny.

Fourth; Let's spruce up the origionality a little~!*pulls out flamethrower* This is an origionality beam. It adds origionality with the push of a button.*pushes button and comics become sparkly and new and interesting* Ta da~! It just got bunches better! No, that's not really how it works, making it origional is your own problem.

I'll keep watch for more comics.*poofs away~!*
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

Dark Shocktail said:
And I know of no webcomic that is made by more then one person.

Plenty do. Many have teams of people with some doing art and others working on the writing.

tbh Terry I think if you're going to do a webcomic, stay away from something that's been done, and sprite comics are some of the most overdone things out there on the web. Unless yours is particularly outstanding, it's not going to do very well. I'd start again if I were you - if you're really serious about making a webcomic then maybe try your hand at art or something.

Webcomics are usually funny, too (unless yours is an in-depth RPG series or something, which I don't think it is). Try and think about what makes other comics funny and see if you can apply that to your own - this doesn't mean copying the same jokes, though! :)

Again, if you're really serious about a webcomic, and you want loads of people to read it, then I also recommend getting your own website for it - face it, people aren't going to trek through TCoD to find the links to your webcomic.


But if this is just a 'hey I want a webcomic' thing then... do whatever, I guess. Just don't expect people to take it seriously.


ES said:
It doesn't matter. The comics aren't funny and I think I have that same feeling Ayame has, you're somewhat ripping this certain funny and creative comic...just try and be funny and creative.

Wow, what awesome critique, now he'll know what to do. Basically all you said was 'this is crap, make it better'. Honestly, I don't understand what kind of joy you get out of finding Terry's threads and telling him off.
Seriously, grow up. If you think his threads are crap then don't post on them.
 
Re: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon-Explorers of Doom

Hm... as stated before, there's a lot of proper description missing because you tried to finish each issue in as few words as possible. There's supposed to be a defined plot by the end of the first few issues, and at this point I don't even see an actual plot coming even on the tenth issue.

The thing is, it doesn't make any sense at all and just leaves your readers in a cloud of confusion. Usually when someone doesn't understand something and asks a question about it, they expect a real answer and an explanation. Instead Eevee said, "Yep. Let's go in." If that's not sketchy then I don't know what is.

This comic would be plausible if you made it funny, or used amazing custom sprites. Sadly, it's a bit boring and nothing besides the text is custom-made. The entire second issue is pointless, tells us nothing about the plot, and is just a filler and a waste of an issue. If you had included something important, or something interesting, it would be a much better entry.
 
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