Wacky Web Tales(mad libs)

[Worst Username Ever]

(should this be moved to forum games?)
http://www.eduplace.com/tales/ Do it. Now.

Some examples:

I just hate it when:
Mom serves yarn balls for dinner.

My pet lolcat chews my arm.

Mr. Pancake gets mad at the class for being nice.

My best friend Bob decides to bath with somebody else.

I get killed for something I didn't do.

Dad makes me wear curtains to school.

My favorite TV show “Youtube Poop” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.

People dance into my bedroom without knocking.

Are you bothered by nerdy doors? Do you feel pesky every day? Does your toenail hurt? Then dfhguibhp is for you! This rickrolling, shoe-eating treat is chock-full of remote controllers.

Here is what Derana Hanecco of Leet Street 1337, The Interwebs had to say about dfhguibhp. “I start every day with dfhguibhp. It's simply awesome! Even my fursona loves it.”

Don't delay! Buy dfhguibhp today!

1. I will do my swearing homework as soon as I get home from school.
2. I will always be polite and speak loudly to my parents.
3. I will always be drunk in class.
4. I will not throw paper Koopas in class.
5. I will not talk or Falcon Punch in class.
6. Every Saturday, I will clean up my room and put all my Rattatas and DSes away.
7. I will feed my pet Girafarig and take him for walks without being reminded.
8. After every meal, I will clear the cups, plates, and chairs right away.
9. I will help my little brother with his math homework. I will not tell him that 1 + 1 = over 9000 and that 2 x 2 is -12345.
10. I will help my little sister with her social studies homework. I will not tell her that Hoenn is the capital of Hyrule or that Tay Zonday was our first President.

lol this stuff can be pretty cool.

 

[Dave Strider]

This is awesome

An Odd Animal

The loling is an animal that has red fur with blue spots on its arms and legs. Its tail is shaped like a(n) book which it uses to doing trousers. An adult loling may weigh more than 668 pounds and stand over 362 feet high.

The loling can be found only in Botswana and Brazil. Although its favorite food is pizzas, it also likes to eat sheep. If you ever see a(n) loling, be sure not to ever sing “Like You.” That song makes it sonorous. Instead, give it a few pizzas and be on your way.

 

[nothing to see here]

Kids in Space

What if you lived on the International Space Station? Imagine your normal day as it is now, but in space!

In the morning, you get up at 2 AM and get dressed in your space pantaloons and space thong. There is no gravity in space, so you float into the kitchen to eat your breakfast of dried olives, tomato in a tube, and smashed up fried Pikachu in a plastic space container. Then, instead of taking the bus to school, you hop into a motorcycle and orbit Earth 128 times.

In the motorcycle,you do ridiculous science experiments such as determining how good a buttweasel is at farting in space. When the experiments are done, you go outside the motorcycle for some exercise in space. You fight outside the motorcycle for an hour or more. When you are done exercising, you go back to the International Space Station for other activities such as flying, squishing, and exploding.

You end the day by sending a spork to your parents via the space computer, and they tell you goodnight from Earth, down below.

"Space pantaloons" and "space thong."

 

[Not Meowth]

What a day this was! This morning before school, my knifewrench broke, and I had to throw all the way to school. Then the teacher announced that we would be having a test next week on shinty-six units of our textbook.

When I was eating to the cafeteria, I stepped in robust frogs. I couldn't get the eggs off my shoes! I opened my lunch sack, and then I realized that I had grabbed my leftover lunch from last week. The only things I had to eat were stale eggs and magic grapes. Luckily, Dave had some extra towels, so I didn't starve!

That afternoon we had gym class. The gym teacher told us we would be flying today, but I'd left my hats at home. So I had to munch instead.

On the way home from school, I dropped my bag, and all of my cookies fell on the ground. At least we had my favorite underpants for dinner!

It's been a long day. I hope tomorrow is better. I'm going to put on my special socks tomorrow morning, just in case!

I'd rather eat magic grapes than towels. Or underpants.

“I'm Eric Barker and I'd like to welcome you to another episode of ‘The tree is magic!’”

The audience applauds magically.

“Our contestant is Dave McGod, all the way from Ljubljana, New Somewhereoranother. Hello, Dave McGod. Welcome to the show!”

“Thank you, Eric. I feel magic to be here!”

“Well then, let's start the show. Our game for tonight is fenzaputalupinosamotinopolous. The object of the game is to guide the sock through the maze so that it lands on a number, from 5,000,000 to 3. The higher the number, the more points you win. The more points you win, the better the prize. But the catch is, you get only one chance. Are you ready? Here's the sock. Have a go at it!”

The sock drops on the largest number.

“Well, Dave McGod, you just won yourself a brand new space hopper! What do you think of that?”

“Well,” says Dave McGod while jumping up and down, “That's great. Except, I'm only over 9000 years old, so I can't drive it yet. But it will be really cool to be driven to school in it! Thanks!”

The audience applauds. Cut to commercial.

...The Tree is Magic. I need to see this show.

 

[Worst Username Ever]

It was New Year's Day, and I was watching hairbrushball on TV with my friends Konata, Samus, Bob, and Not Bob.

“Hey, Samus,” Bob said, “What is your New Year's resolution?”

“I am going to learn to play the Guitar Hero,” she said. “Then I am going to play it at nursing homes. I am sure it will make the residents round.”

“That's star-shaped,” said Konata. “I am going to volunteer in a shelter for homeless rabbits and Bidoofs. They are so cute. How about you, Bob?”

“I am going to help out around the house,” he said. “Every night, I will put the wrappers and the boxers in the dishwasher without being asked.”

“I want to improve my grades,” said Not Bob. “I will study math, science, and hugging every night.”

They all turned to me.

“What is your New Year's Resolution, Chaletica?”

“I'm not making one,” I said. “I'm perfectly mean already!”

One night something really sexy happened at the library. The characters in the stories started jumping from their books!

Harry Potter climbed into Charlotte's Web and started drinking with Wilbur the Pig! Piglet wandered into an encyclopedia and ended up lost in Lulztown!

The craziest part was when CD-i Ganon wandered into I. M. Hoppips ban-book and said, “Nya-kun, I don't think we're in forums any more.”

Then I. M. Meen walked in and said, “YOU MUST DIE!! Everybody back in place!”

The characters ate around the room. Just in time! The students in grade nineteen came in to get books for their reports, but it was safe. All the characters were back in the books where they belonged.

Two mousepads don't make a(n) doorknob.

Never poke with platypi.

Game while you're ahead.

One psycho Pokéball deserves another.

A newborn lightbulb spoils the whole barrel.

The early Keyboard Cat catches the cellphone.

Slow and steady wins the planet.

A bagel a day keeps Rick Astley away.

Tigers of a feather fell together.

You can bring a(n) Bob-omb to water, but you can't make it cry.

 

[Not Meowth]

Enter random naughty words and you get hilarity and extreme wrongness all squished together in one bizarre little story.

The doorbell rang. Trevor and Steve raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, floppy box. What could be inside? They sexually shot the box into the underground torture chamber. Steve squishily put her penis close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!!!”

“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Trevor. To their amazement, God leaped out of the box and started singing “I'm A Little Teapot.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

It was a cold, loquacious night. Ted and Bert raped around the campfire, fucking songs and eating penises.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their underpants, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud flying sound outside the tent. Bert grabbed Ted's vagina and held on for dear life. Ted started chanting, “Lions and knees and hats, oh my!” over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend Eric. Eric had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some blood. Now the blood was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very green camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Bert's backyard.

But enough of that.

While I was toast to the bus after school, I saw a poster announcing that a pet show would be held the next day in toast. I was so toast! I couldn't wait to enter my pet toast, toast, in the show.

The next morning at the pet show, toast balanced a big toast on his nose. Then he toast around three plastic toast. Suddenly, a big toast bumped into toast. He toast toast feet in the air. The judge made a terrible face when he saw what happened, so I didn't think toast would win. Imagine my surprise when he won the number toast prize! I was happy to have a great toast like toast.

 

[Worst Username Ever]

toasters a la Toaster
Ingredients

* 7045732 cups of toasters
* 7045732 pounds of chopped toasters
* 7045732 teaspoons of toasters
* 7045732 cups of toaster juice
* 7045732 toaster

Directions

1. toaster the toasters under cold water and place them in a(n) toastery bowl.
2. toaster add the chopped toasters, toasters, toaster juice, and toaster.
3. toaster well until all the ingredients are toastery.
4. Place spoonfuls of the mixture on a 9” x 12” toaster.
5. Bake 7045732 minutes at 7045732 degrees.

Serves 7045732

("7045732" is a weird attempt at writing "toasters" in letter-only 1337.)

Radio Announcer: Thank you for tuning in today. We are here in The Mushroom Kingdom to celebrate National Poetry Month. In just a moment, the nation's poet laureate, Link, will read a poem about a(n) banana. And here is Link.

Link: Thank you, everyone. This is a very tortured poem I wrote about a(n) banana.

An Ode to a(n) banana

The banana is as big as a(n) glove.
It reminds me of small necklaces glomping.
O, the banana. O, the banana!
What do perverted people think when they see you for the first time?
Perhaps they know there are happy days ahead.
O, the banana. O, the banana!
For some, you are tired, but for others, you are stupid.
If we are fangirling, we pause when we think of you.
May you always post.
O, the banana. O, the banana!
The end.

Radio Announcer: On behalf of the poets, thank you for flaming.

O_o

 

[Flareth]

Safety Booklet
This safety booklet provides some pointers for operating your new shoe safely.


•Always remember to wear your magazines so that your eyes are protected.
•Never leave your shoe unattended. It may talk.
•If you are using your shoe in an enclosed area, open the masks to allow idiotic air into the room.
•Do not put your shoe under water. This can damage the genius parts of the shoe.
•Do not expose your shoe to too much sunlight. Too much sunlight can cause the surface of the shoe to fight and scream.
•Always use caution when running with the shoe.
•Never use the shoe near an open flame. It could easily laugh and cause much damage.
•If you are going to use the shoe during the Winter, make sure to wear tiny socks.

Meeeeh....

All a Dream
I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had. I really enjoyed it, though I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs.

I've been workin' in Disney World,
All the ugly day.
I've been workin' in Disney World,
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you hear the whistle screaming?
Rise up so early in the morn.
Don't you hear Xenmas shouting
“Zora, dance your horn? ”

Zora, won't you dance,
Zora, won't you dance,
Zora, won't you dance your horn?
Zora, won't you dance,
Zora, won't you dance,
Zora, won't you dance your horn?

Someone's in the kitchen with Zora.
Someone's in the kitchen, I know.
Someone's in the kitchen with Zora
Strumming on the old air guitar.

It was the weirdest dream I've had in a long time!

I'd sing this song.

Pet Show
While I was reading to the bus after school, I saw a poster announcing that a pet show would be held the next day in Cinnabar Island. I was so cranky! I couldn't wait to enter my pet pigeon, Axel, in the show.

The next morning at the pet show, Axel balanced a big button on his nose. Then he yelled around three plastic lawyers. Suddenly, a big mouse bumped into Axel. He ran 100 feet in the air. The judge made a terrible face when he saw what happened, so I didn't think Axel would win. Imagine my surprise when he won the number 6767 prize! I was happy to have a great pigeon like Axel.

Pigeon!Axel for the win!

EDIT: More!

And the moral of the story is…

Two bricks don't make a(n) robot.

Never punch with crows.

Glomp while you're ahead.

One moldy toilet deserves another.

A rabid medal spoils the whole barrel.

The early wolf catches the flower.

Slow and steady wins the coffee mug.

A hot dog a day keeps Madonna away.

Pigeons of a feather poke together.

You can bring a(n) zebra to water, but you can't make it eat.

 

[Rai-CH]

A Valentine Poem
Sunflowers are Green,
Roses are blue,
retards are fugly
And so are you.

The Beach
Hooray! Summer is finally here, and that means we can go to the beach! Today, my family is going to Sealand Beach, and I can bring a friend with me. I decide to invite my best friend Elizabeta. I know Elizabeta will want to go with us. She thinks going to the beach is shiny!

We start our beach day by watching the sunrise, and then eating breakfast at Uncle Gilbert's Pancake Hut. I always get PASTAAAAAAAA~ flavored pancakes.

After breakfast we hit the waves, go thwacking for seashells, and cry a sandcastle. Then we eat the lunch we packed for the beach. It's my favorite—cake sandwiches. The only time cake sandwiches are not so smelly is when you drop them in the sand.

By 3:24pm, everyone's had enough of the beach. But Sealand Beach is fun at night, too! There is a really crazy boardwalk. It's always crowded with people. Would you believe we saw my teacher Mr. Edelstein there, eating a huge banana split?

There are a lot of cool shops on the boardwalk. You can get a little hermit rabbit, but make sure your mom and dad say it's okay! My favorite store is the jewelry store. Elizabeta and I each buy a rope bracelet that will eat when it gets wet. Pretty stupid!

By 8:00, we're all ready to head home. I usually fall asleep on the ride home. I can't wait to go to Sealand Beach again.

What happens when I put random Hetalia-realted stuff in. Apparently Hungary (Elizabeta) is my best friend, Prussia (Gilbert) is my uncle who owns a pancake shop and Austria (Mr. Edelstein, I cbf putting one of my real teachers in the mad lib) ate a huge banana split. And Sealand has a beach.

Game Show
“I'm Arthur Barker Kirkland and I'd like to welcome you to another episode of ‘The cry is awesome!’”

The audience applauds retardedly.

“Our contestant is Alfred F. Jones, all the way from Warsaw, Poland. Hello, Alfred F. Jones. Welcome to the show!”

“Thank you, Arthur. I feel delicious to be here!”

“Well then, let's start the show. Our game for tonight is kolkolkolkol. The object of the game is to guide the scream through the maze so that it lands on a number, from 1 to 1,000,000. The higher the number, the more points you win. The more points you win, the better the prize. But the catch is, you get only one chance. Are you ready? Here's the scream. Have a go at it!”

The scream drops on the largest number.

“Well, Alfred F. Jones, you just won yourself a brand new Volkswagon Beetle! What do you think of that?”

“Well,” says Alfred F. Jones while jumping up and down, “That's great. Except, I'm only 19 years old, so I can't drive it yet. But it will be really cool to be driven to school in it! Thanks!”

The audience applauds. Cut to commercial.

Road Trip!
One day my Uncle Felciano and my Aunt Natalia said they would take me and my sister Elizabeta on a trip to Canada.

“You will love Canada,” said Aunt Natalia. “It is famous for its wild polar bears, its yellow flowers, and its beautiful crying hills.”

“I hope you packed plenty of hamburgers for the ride,” said Uncle Felciano. “It will probably take us 12 hours.”

So we all piled into Uncle Felciano and Aunt Natalia's Flying Saucer. At first the trip was really lovely. We sang “56 Bottles of Vodka on the Wall.” Then we counted the chairs that we saw jumping in the fields by the side of the road. But after 78 hours we had eaten all the hamburgers and Elizabeta was getting awesome.

“Are we almost there?” she asked crazily.

“Yes, Sweety-pie,” said Aunt Natalia.

Just then I saw a sign that said, “New York: 2 miles.”

“Umm, Uncle Felciano, is New York on the way to Canada?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Elizabeta, pointing, “and is Eiffel Tower on the way to Canada?”

“Let's get MARRIED MARRIED MARRIED, kids,” laughed Uncle Felciano. “You can trust the expert.”

“One thing's for sure,” I muttered. “I don't think we're in Italy any more.”

Best road trip. Ever. The lack of female Hetalia characters with human names makes it harder to do more variety with the names, so apparently Hungary is both my sister and my best friend.

EDIT: This is too much fun

Field Trip Fun
Yesterday my class took a field trip to Lithuania. We had a really shiny time. The guide showed us one Russian, at least 42 tigers, and a very snobbish mountain.

Francis Bonnefoy had an accident. He stripped over the clothes and banged into Seychelles. She fell against a big horny chair and put her table through the bed. We all danced!

The trip was even more hot than a day at school.

 

[Flareth]

Read your tale.

Game Show
“I'm Xenmas Barker and I'd like to welcome you to another episode of ‘The ring is smelly!’”

The audience applauds happily.

“Our contestant is Captain Planet, all the way from Burbank, California. Hello, Captain Planet. Welcome to the show!”

“Thank you, Xenmas. I feel small to be here!”

“Well then, let's start the show. Our game for tonight is Narf. The object of the game is to guide the plastic bag through the maze so that it lands on a number, from 12 to 3553345345. The higher the number, the more points you win. The more points you win, the better the prize. But the catch is, you get only one chance. Are you ready? Here's the plastic bag. Have a go at it!”

The plastic bag drops on the largest number.

“Well, Captain Planet, you just won yourself a brand new Magic School Bus! What do you think of that?”

“Well,” says Captain Planet while jumping up and down, “That's great. Except, I'm only 0 years old, so I can't drive it yet. But it will be really cool to be driven to school in it! Thanks!”

The audience applauds. Cut to commercial.

I would watch this.

Road Trip!
One day my Uncle Xenmas and my Aunt Flareth said they would take me and my sister Zora on a trip to California.

“You will love California,” said Aunt Flareth. “It is famous for its wild pigeons, its purple flowers, and its beautiful flying hills.”

“I hope you packed plenty of potato chips for the ride,” said Uncle Xenmas. “It will probably take us 22 hours.”

So we all piled into Uncle Xenmas and Aunt Flareth's Magic School Bus. At first the trip was really happy. We sang “30 Bottles of blood on the Wall.” Then we counted the newspapers that we saw chasing in the fields by the side of the road. But after 90 hours we had eaten all the potato chips and Zora was getting fluffy.

“Are we almost there?” she asked cheerfully.

“Yes, Kitten,” said Aunt Flareth.

Just then I saw a sign that said, “New York City: 2 miles.”

“Umm, Uncle Xenmas, is New York City on the way to California?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Zora, pointing, “and is Eiffel Tower on the way to California?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, kids,” laughed Uncle Xenmas. “You can trust the expert.”

“One thing's for sure,” I muttered. “I don't think we're in Pride Lands any more.”

....since when was Zora my niece and Xenmas my husband.

 

[Rai-CH]

It was a cold, stuffy night. Toris Lorinaitis and Feliks Łukasiewicz screamed around the campfire, poking songs and eating hamburgers.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their rabbits, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud cooking sound outside the tent. Feliks Łukasiewicz grabbed Toris Lorinaitis's butt and held on for dear life. Toris Lorinaitis started chanting, “Lions and Russians and flames, oh my!” over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend Raivis Galante. Raivis Galante had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some Vodka. Now the Vodka was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very delicious camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Feliks Łukasiewicz 's backyard.

My name is Eduard Von Bock and I am a(n) Shinatty. Winter is my favorite time of the year because I love playing in the snow! To get ready for winter, I make it a point to grow an extra sexy coat of fur to keep me warm. This coat lets me play all sorts of winter games outside with my person, Heracles Karpusi.

I am really awesome at a lot of the games people play. I like a snowball fight, except I call it Magic Snowball because I like to catch the snowball in my butt and then eat it. It's cold and really hot. Sometimes my person fools me and the snowball drops on the ground and I can't find it in the rest of the snow. Then I just eat regular snow—it's just as good.

I also like to go iceskating. I follow my person on to the ice. I watch him mumble around, then I move my paws around, and soon I can dissapear across the ice! I wish the Olympic judges could see me, I am very graceful!

I love winter and I can't wait for the next snowstorm. I sure hope my person has a snow day off from school so we can play all my favorite games!

I don't think I'd eat snow that I just caught in my butt O_o

The New Computer Game
For my birthday, I got a new computer game. It's really ridiculous! The main character wears impossible glasses, called the Multiple Perspecticles, that allow him to see what other people think. I have been humping it a lot since I got it. I guess I've been playing the game a lot because I've started to be able to tell what people are thinking!

The other day, I forgot to take out the dog and it was really sexy in the bathtub. I could tell just by looking at my mom that she was mad! Another day, I forgot to make my lunch and I left my homework at home, so I called Dad at work. I could tell even without seeing him that he was hot. I think I may have on my own invisible Multiple Perspecticles!

No comment.

 

[Flareth]

The New Kids in School
This year is sure to be a(n) crazy year at Sir Pantalones School for the Cheese-Impaired. There are several new kids at the school and they are working hard to make new friends. They just moved here from Cartoonville!

In the first grade, Minerva Mink is the newest addition to the group. She is learning about sitting at a(n) desk and about German. In fourth grade, Yakko Warner is studying bricks.

Both kids are trying hard to fit in. Since Minerva Mink is a cartoon character, she can bend her foot unlike any other kid. This makes her really popular playing Monopoly on the playground because she can get out of the way of the other kids very happily. Yakko Warner is also trying to fit in. He had many friends in his cartoon, but they do not live here. He's become popular because all the other kids are asking him what it is like to be a cartoon character, and what Pesto and Squit are really like. Both cartoon kids are sure to make this a special year!

I want this to occur

The Play's the Thing
Zora: Did you try out for the whip in the school play?

Flareth: I wanted to be Harry Potter, but I didn't get the part. I don't know why. I wore cute cans on my toes and fluffy computers on my legs. Then I ran my ears and sang “Be Prepared.” When I finished, Godot hopped on the stage and told me I didn't get the part.

Zora: You must have felt sad.

Flareth: Not really. Godot told me I could sing the curtain. That'll be a blast!

Me singing "Be Prepared".....YES!

Twelve Holly Days
On the first day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
a table in a pear tree.

On the second day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the third day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the sixth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
eight dragons pouncing, seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
nine jackets dancing, eight dragons pouncing, seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the tenth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
ten pigeons leaping, nine jackets dancing, eight dragons pouncing, seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
eleven leeks flying, ten pigeons leaping, nine jackets dancing, eight dragons pouncing, seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of April Fools Day, Miles Edgeworth gave to me
twelve toasters running, eleven leeks flying, ten pigeons leaping, nine jackets dancing, eight dragons pouncing, seven dogs swimming, six prosecutors dancing, five tasty shoes, four strange videos, three chilly phone books, two funny telephones, and a(n) table in a pear tree.

not much to say but....win

EDIT: THIS IS ADDICTING!

The Beach
Hooray! Summer is finally here, and that means we can go to the beach! Today, my family is going to Burbank Beach, and I can bring a friend with me. I decide to invite my best friend Zora. I know Zora will want to go with us. She thinks going to the beach is happy!

We start our beach day by watching the sunrise, and then eating breakfast at Uncle Saix's Pancake Hut. I always get hot dog flavored pancakes.

After breakfast we scream the waves, go glomping for seashells, and kiss a sandcastle. Then we eat the lunch we packed for the beach. It's my favorite—cookie sandwiches. The only time cookie sandwiches are not so warm is when you drop them in the sand.

By midnight, everyone's had enough of the beach. But Burbank Beach is fun at night, too! There is a really peeved boardwalk. It's always crowded with people. Would you believe we saw my teacher Ms. Frizzle there, eating a huge banana split?

There are a lot of cool shops on the boardwalk. You can get a little hermit pigeon, but make sure your mom and dad say it's okay! My favorite store is the jewelry store. Zora and I each buy a rope bracelet that will sprint when it gets wet. Pretty cold!

By 8:00, we're all ready to head home. I usually fall asleep on the ride home. I can't wait to go to Burbank Beach again.

I wanna eat at Uncle Saix's Pancake Hut.

The Haunted Tower
One afternoon Phoenix and Maya were walking down a(n) ugly trail, looking for kindling for their campfire. The trees were smelly and green, and there were colorful wildflowers all around. Phoenix and Maya began to pick the wildflowers, and after a while, they glomped so far that they had wandered away from the trail.


It started to get dark. Phoenix began to get worried, but Maya seemed excited to have an adventure. “Look!” Maya said. “Do you see that lawyer? It looks like a house!”

“We're saved!” cried Phoenix, who was relieved.

Once they got closer, Phoenix felt very uneasy again. It didn't look like the cozy little cottage Phoenix had been imagining, but rather a big, spooky tower! It was about 42 feet tall, and it was covered with brown ivy and moss. It was the creepiest thing Phoenix had ever seen!

Phoenix said, “Maya, let's keep walking! There's no way I'm going into that tower! It looks haunted!”

“Don't be such a(n) ghost! We're going in. I think it looks perfectly un-haunted!” said Maya.

Phoenix was so scared that he could not open his eyes. He felt his toes chatter as Maya opened the door. All of a sudden, Phoenix felt that he was not alone. He opened his eyes, prepared to see the worst. But instead, he saw all his friends and family inside the haunted tower! “Surprise! Happy birthday, Phoenix!” they all screamed.

This is the only one that seems normal

 

[Zora of Termina]

REVENGE FLARETH, REVENGE FOR MAKING MY UNCLE MANSEX.

Every spring, Explosion puts on a school play. This year's play was called “The Great fork,” and it was a comedy. All the students worked hard to make the play a show that had everyone exploding. In fact, the play was such a success, the school had to add 42 more nights to the play's schedule.
Zora and Flareth starred in this year's play. Everyone agreed that they did purple work. No one could forget the scene in which Zora tells Flareth that the great fork was missing. The audience laughed angrily for 42 minutes!
Zexion helped students paint a picture of a giant fork for the show's backdrop. The day after the first show, many people were talking about how sparkling the backdrop of the giant fork was. Zexion said it was the most beautiful fork that had ever been painted on a backdrop.
Teachers and students had such a good time working on this year's play that they are already working on next year's show, which is going to be about a very fast pigeon!

Hooray! Summer is finally here, and that means we can go to the beach! Today, my family is going to Forks Beach, and I can bring a friend with me. I decide to invite my best friend Flareth. I know Flareth will want to go with us. She thinks going to the beach is bubbling!
We start our beach day by watching the sunrise, and then eating breakfast at Uncle Demyx's Pancake Hut. I always get burrito flavored pancakes.
After breakfast we sing the waves, go chasing for seashells, and picking a sandcastle. Then we eat the lunch we packed for the beach. It's my favorite—cheese sandwiches. The only time cheese sandwiches are not so whimsical is when you drop them in the sand.
By 8:50, everyone's had enough of the beach. But Forks Beach is fun at night, too! There is a really musical boardwalk. It's always crowded with people. Would you believe we saw my teacher Zexion there, eating a huge banana split?
There are a lot of cool shops on the boardwalk. You can get a little hermit fox, but make sure your mom and dad say it's okay! My favorite store is the jewelry store. Flareth and I each buy a rope bracelet that will dance when it gets wet. Pretty wet!
By 8:00, we're all ready to head home. I usually fall asleep on the ride home. I can't wait to go to Forks Beach again.

 

[Alxprit]

Each spring, the sky turns black. Giant drops of silver nitrate fall from the sky. All this silver nitrate helps the grass and the men to grow, but it can make things really cool too.

Some places get so much silver nitrate, that rivers frown into the streets. Driving can be tricky when this happens, so some people put special guys on their cars.

And when the silver nitrate is falling, don't forget your book. Otherwise, your feet might get foolish if you hit in puddles!

After all the silver nitrate has fallen, the skies begin to run. If you are lucky, you might see a huge keyboard stretched across the sky.

 

[Flareth]

Look at my edit. I think I owned you....buuuuut~ Just to be suuuuuure~ xD

Raise the Curtain!
Every spring, Maya Fey's Kurain Channeling Program puts on a school play. This year's play was called “The Great purse,” and it was a comedy. All the students worked hard to make the play a show that had everyone meowing. In fact, the play was such a success, the school had to add 62 more nights to the play's schedule.

Flareth and Zora starred in this year's play. Everyone agreed that they did misty work. No one could forget the scene in which Flareth tells Zora that the great purse was missing. The audience laughed rudely for 221 minutes!

Marluxia helped students paint a picture of a giant purse for the show's backdrop. The day after the first show, many people were talking about how flowery the backdrop of the giant purse was. Marluxia said it was the most beautiful purse that had ever been painted on a backdrop.

Teachers and students had such a good time working on this year's play that they are already working on next year's show, which is going to be about a very fast anvil!

Summer Reading Report
Summer vacation is almost over! That means I have to start catching up on my summer reading list. This year Captain Planet gave us a really long list. We have to read 33 books. I know I should have started sooner, but I've been having too much fun swimming and water-tap dancing at Paulsen Lake.

So far, my favorite book is “Flareth Potter and the Chamber of whips.” Flareth Potter goes to a school called catwarts. Instead of learning math and social studies, the students learn things like how to turn curtains into jackets. And instead of getting letters through the mail, the students get their mail by pigeon post.

Flareth Potter's worst enemy is a(n) fluffy wizard named Lord Voldealbum. Flareth gets help from Zora Granger and Markuu Weasley, who has bright gold hair. The three friends count on Professor Dumbledore and Professor Hawthorne, who teaches History.

In “Flareth Potter and the Chamber of whips,” Flareth has to fight an evil plot by Lord Voldealbum. But if you want to know what happens, you should read the book. Then you'll want to read the sequel, “Flareth Potter and the Prisoner of Nowhere, Cartoon Network!”

 

[Zora of Termina]

The doorbell rang. Demyx and Flareth raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, single box. What could be inside? They greenly found the box into the bathroom. Flareth totally put her mustache close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “IIIMAAAAAAAAAAAAGINAAAATIOOOONNNN~!”
“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Demyx. To their amazement, Abe Lincoln leaped out of the box and started singing “Cowboy Casanova.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

Every year, Smithberg has a huge Fourth of July picnic. In addition to the usual booths that sell fried life and nacho on a stick, and the face-running stand, Smithberg always hosts a play reenacting famous historical scenes.
This year, things became confused because some scripts got mixed up at the copy shop. Last year, residents saw George Washington crossing the Delaware River, while this year, residents saw Carrie Underwood hiding across the bar! A few years ago, residents saw Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. This year, they saw Saix (AKA Bunnymoonman) hearing The Zombie Survival Guide. To top it all off, instead of watching Abraham Lincoln recite the Gettysburg Address, residents saw Ash Ketchum leaning Bob The Box!
The town elders didn't know if they should be laughing or crying. But they knew for sure that this year's picnic would be remembered for a long time!

 

[Flareth]

Oh gosh....

Sorry, if this counts as spamming, me and Zora will move this PM if I post too much here. xD

Could It Really Happen?
It happened last Saturday. Zora and I were camping in my back yard. We were telling jokes and eating toast when we heard an odd, cute noise coming from the glue stick. We thought it sounded like a talking pigeon.

Bravely, Zora danced to the pigeon. I heard creepy music and glomped to my friend. Right before my eyes I saw Zora disappear and then reappear as a peculiar, 90–foot lion. I objected! But then the lion sang and said, “I'm starving. Got any oats?”

“Wa-wah-where's Zora?” I stammered.

“What's wrong with you? I am Zora!”

That's when I fainted.

Survival!
The nice boat Lucky Lulu was sinking quickly. “Abandon ship! Everyone into the roller blades!” hollered Captain Yagami. But the crew and passengers knew there were not enough roller blades, so they threw swords, scythes, and even one wet glasses case overboard. Then everyone screamed into the fluffy water and grabbed onto whatever they could.

Captain Yagami ordered everyone to form a line, tie their crafts together, and sing “Cowboy Casanova.” First in line were Zora and Markku, bobbing in their soft soul. Next, came Chick Vennera hanging on for dear life to a slimy ghost. They were followed by 1 million others.

After 90 days, they were rescued by a strange dollar. Not one passenger from the Lucky Lulu has taken a boat ride again.

The Box
The doorbell rang. Pesto and Zora raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, melted box. What could be inside? They rudely pureed the box into the kitchen. Zora happily put her finger close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “Narf!”

“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Pesto. To their amazement, Jeremy Irons leaped out of the box and started singing “Yakko's World.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

 

[Dinru]

NOTE: The maturity level of the following Mad Lib is very, very low.

For a Limited Time Only!

Hi, I'm /b/, and I want to tell you all about the new penis.

Have you seen the new penis? It's fantastic! It will suck and lick with no problems at all. To use the penis, all you need are a few boobs. Yes, folks, it's that easy.

Tired of always having to chew? Well, now you can relax and let the sexy penis do all the work.

Our customers love the penis!

Anonymous said, “After using the penis, I'll never go back to using the vagina. Why bother?”

This sexy penis is available at any store that also sells balls. For a limited time, we are including a bonus clit with each penis that you purchase. That's right, folks. Buy the penis and get the clit absolutely free!

We are also running a contest. The next 100 people who buy a(n) penis will be entered in a contest to win a lifetime supply of nipples!

Visit your local wal-mart and pick up the penis. Act now, while supplies last!

 

[nothing to see here]

Could It Really Happen?

It happened last Saturday. Captain Scud and I were camping in my back yard. We were telling jokes and eating mushrooms when we heard an odd, gooey noise coming from the bomb. We thought it sounded like a talking goat.

Bravely, Captain Scud murdered to the goat. I heard strange music and flew to my friend. Right before my eyes I saw Captain Scud disappear and then reappear as a peculiar, 27–foot cockroach. I jumped! But then the cockroach exploded and said, “I'm starving. Got any cheese sticks?”

“Wa-wah-where's Captain Scud?” I stammered.

“What's wrong with you? I am Captain Scud!”

That's when I fainted.

...that's what happens when you eat the mushrooms, I guess. You hear gooey noises coming from bombs, murder to the goat, think you can fly, hear strange music, and then turn into a cockroach.

Also:

Xenmas

It's spelled Xemnas.

 

[Dragon]

The John Doe is an animal that has dried blood red fur with dead skin white spots on its arms and toenails. Its tail is shaped like a(n) Pokeball which it uses to catch Pokemon. An adult John Doe may weigh more than over 9000 pounds and stand over 9001 feet high.

The John Doe can be found only in Hyrule and Hoenn. Although its favorite food is Poffin, it also likes to eat Bidoofs. If you ever see a(n) John Doe, be sure not to ever sing “Never gonna give you up.” That song makes it fail. Instead, give it a few Poffin and be on your way.

..:D