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1,000 Things not to do on an airplane

Kung Fu Ferret

Kung Fu Ferret

Yokai Of Despair
Pronoun
he/him/his
Similar to the Wal-Mart thread, but on a plane. WARNING: Could get crazy

1. Randomly scream "ADMIRAL ACKBAR!" at the top of your lungs
 
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Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! [laughs] I must have dozed off. Lets see where are we? Do I dare look at the clock..? [gasps] It's almost 9 o' clock! Class starts in 5 minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in 5 minutes? How am I supposed to know what to do in an airplane?? Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And making a sandwich, and lighting candles, and drinking water, and calling your friends, and karate chopping the TV, and shooting the brief with the mailman, and fallin' asleep... Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Huh? Mrs. Puff? Where is everybody?
 
9. Bring a wad of your nation's paper currency into the bathroom, and shout for one of your friends and when they enter the restroom start an awkward conversation about how green it is, Creeping out everyone on the entire flight .
 
11. When about to get tasered by plane security for doing any of the above, run back and forth screaming "Fox, get this guy off me!"
 
13. Forsake the no-smoking signs. Bring two sticks on board and make your own fire. If they won't let you bring your lighter, you have the right to find suitable alternatives.

...When a large fire emerges from this act, blame the person in the seat next to you.
 
14. When, after doing 13, said person sitting next to you protests, smother them with the complimentary pillow, if it's not on fire.
 
18. Go on with your friends about how everything on the airplane is totally the bomb.
 
19) Suddenly yell "It's Lord of the Flies all over again!" And demand that you're voted leader because you have the conch.
 
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