Animal Crossing: New Horizons Mafia

[Redstrykephoenix]

if you're asking about my rates it's $20 an hour plus $5 more an hour if you want balloon animals

 

[Von Fu]

DID YOU KILL SESHAS?

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

no

 

[Von Fu]

alright you're free to go

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

i mean not directly i can't say i didn't make them undergo any unhealthy habits the symptoms of are a bullet to the back of the head. i think it's called bulletinthebackoftheheaditis

 

[Von Fu]

i just needed a yes or no answer jeez i don't need your life story, kid

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

call me kid again one more motherfucker

von

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

fuck. i mean call me motherfucker one more time kid

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

wait no it's call me time one more mother

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

seriously though are you going to hire me or are you gonna waste more of my clowning time

 

[Von Fu]

*walks back in room* hey... i know you didn't kill seshas... my partner here wants to throw the book at you, but you'll help me find the real killer, won't ya?

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

it's keldeo

 

[Von Fu]

there... now that wasn't so hard... was it?

 

[Von Fu]

alright folks i did the ol' good cop, bad cop routine with our suspect, and i think we have a lead

keldeo

wanna explain where you were last night?

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

nah

 

[Redstrykephoenix]

here's your wallet back btw

 

[bbt's Huskeldeo]

at last, my plan falls into place

 

[bbt's Huskeldeo]

mewt and rari over there actually discussing game in their hydra chat while mine is just like

"hey, keldeo?"
"no i'm too busy i'll look at the game later"
[5 hours later]
"so, keldeo?"
"later"
[3 hours after that]
"keldeo?"

 

[Mawile]

keldeooooooooo

 

[bbt's Huskeldeo]

i wasn't even supposed to be playing smfh

i refuse