You awake from a DEEP SLUMBER, with a KILLER HANGOVER. Your SOFA of GREAT QUALITY has served your slumbering purposes well, but it is time to leave it behind. You need to start your day with some PRODUCTIVITY.
It would appear that your basement room is FULL OF ARTSTYLE-VARYING CAPYBARAS, all appearing to be SHITTILY DRAWN. This is astounding to you because you do not recall having any pets, or living in any natural habitats for these rodents. A mystery is afoot.
God, but you are way too HUNGOVER to even think about your own damn name, let alone mysteries. You really need to find a way to reduce your current REGRET FLUID levels. Coffee usually sobers you up.