Crazy Excuses for Not Having Your Homework

[Eeveelution]

Okay, last night I was in bed when I suddenly remembered something my friend (who for obvious reasons will be called "Zack") talked about while riding in carpool one day: an excuse for why he didn't have his homework. Here it is:

Zack: My dog ate my homework.
Teacher: I hear that all the time.
Zack: Then my science project ate my dog.
Teacher: Well that's new...

Obviously he'd never use it at our current school, but it got me thinking at the time, and apparently I'm still thinking about it several months later, so I figured crazy excuses for not having your homework deserve their own topic. Whether you've actually used them or not, post them for everyone else to observe and comment. Some of mine:

-My crazy uncle wanted to test some ink he made so he grabbed the nearest piece of paper, or my homework.
-I thought my guinea pigs looked bored so I wanted to give them some paper to make nests out of, but I accidentally gave them my homework.
-Illiterate robbers tried to rob the library thinking it was a bank while I was there, and I gave them my reading assignment for them to practice reading so they wouldn't try to rob a library instead of a bank again.
-Apparently my dog thought my homework was actually a new chew toy, so technically she didn't EAT it, as much as CHEW it...
-Aliens tried to abduct me with this green laser, and I threw my bag with my fully-completed homework into it so they'd leave.

What are your crazy excuses?

 

[Momoharu]

-I did it but I misplaced it.

-I was not aware we had homework

-I dropped it in the toilet.

 

[Lili]

-I went to McDonald's with my mother and her friend and her friend's kids and I forgot it.
-I couldn't finish it.
-My brother is a pyromaniac and mixed my homework with gunpowder and tar to try and set off an explosion.
-I cried and my tears got the paper all soggy.
-My cats ate it/drooled on it.
-My hamster ate it.
-I dropped it in the fishtank while feeding the fish.
-My backpack had a hole in it and it was ripped out of my notebook at fell out of the hole.
-Seth stole it.
-Seth took it.
-Seth beat me up, took it and stole it.
-Seth's fault.
-Seth.
-Seth goes through my backpack at lunch.
-I hate Seth.

 

[Zora of Termina]

"No, Ms. Lopez, YOU listen. I could not do the homework because my WiFi router blew up. Do you understand me?"

In my defense, it was a Web Design class, and the router really did explode. Fortunately we were able to save the table it was sitting on after it caught fire. >>
We still don't know why it did it.

Also, although not really homework excuses:
"I can't participate in gym today because you're playing hockey and it reminds me of Sarah Palin."
-Myself

"I can't do gym because I got hit in the face with a Christmas tree."
-My friend Jill.

 

[glitchedgamer]

-My route to school this morning took me through Hyrule and a Like Like ate it.
-It in my locker.
-Homework?
-A team of pirate ninjas jumped me and demanded my homework.
-Wow, you look great today (insert teacher's name here)!
-I thought it was due tommorrow.
-I wrote down the wrong assignment.
-I had to use it to cover the open wound of a man that was shot and dying the in the street.
-I seem to have set it on fire.
-You tell ME why it isn't done.
-Homework is forbidden by the religion I just made up and recently converted to.
-It asploded.

 

[Dinru]

"I didn't understand it and I cried so much the paper fell apart."

"I'm missing Friday's homework because it was frustrating and I pulled some of my hair out. I pulled too hard, bled all over it, and it got too soaked to finish. Why do you think I'm wearing these bandages? Because I like the way they look?"

"I recently attended a Pride Parade. The bad news is that I didn't finish the assignment. The good news is, at least it's ~*fabulous*~ now."

"I know, I didn't finish and that's bad and everything, but in the grand scheme of things, what does it really matter? I mean, thirty years from now things like that won't matter. I understood the concept. I still learned something. And what really matters is what I take out of this experience, right? I mean, you have a poster saying that right on your wall!"

 

[Loco Mocho]

My sister drew on it

My pencil broke

My bird ate it
^really happend.... kinda

 

[sagefo]

I used its enchantment too much and the charge meter ran out.
I gave it to my mother to look over and she destroyed it in a fit of rage.
My brother was out of paper towels, so he took it into the bathroom and... Trust me, you wouldn't want it.
I contracted stygmata and it got soaked with blood.

 

[Autumn]

"I know, I didn't finish and that's bad and everything, but in the grand scheme of things, what does it really matter? I mean, thirty years from now things like that won't matter. I understood the concept. I still learned something. And what really matters is what I take out of this experience, right? I mean, you have a poster saying that right on your wall!"

I wish this would actually work. >.> It makes sense too.

 

[Slartibartfast]

^Especially with math homework. It seems like it's designed to make people hate math.

"I couldn't find it in the huge mess of overdue homework in my backpack."
"My mom decided that I needed to clean my backpack out and, in the process, I accidentally threw my homework away."
"My cat found it and thought it was a litter box."

Sadly, the third one actually happens sometimes.

 

[Ninjabait]

"Wait, you're saying that that wasn't toilet paper?"
"Sorry, I was too busy doing other homework."
"The mob came to my house and took it as protection money, lord knows why."
"I was carrying out a secret mission for the FBI/CIA/Other Government agency, it's classified, so civilians cannot be told the details."

Meh, couldn't think of anything better. =/

 

[voltianqueen]

I once used "I went to the mall." Dunno why though.

"We had homework?"
"It's at home."
"I lost it."
"I didn't feel like doing it."
I use those all the time :D

 

[Slartibartfast]

In my math class last year, I didn't turn in a single assignment 4th quarter and didn't even give an excuse. (Actually, I told him that I already knew all the stuff. But it didn't matter). And I still got a B. :D

 

[Darksong]

^Especially with math homework. It seems like it's designed to make people hate math.

Are Cryptica and I the only ones here who love homework?

"I was busy plugging my ears because of the fireworks."
"My art assignment was more interesting."
"Oh. That homework. I brought it home and my mom recycled it by accident. May I please have an extra copy?"

^ I use the last one a lot.

 

[Phyro Phantom]

Ones that I used before I started homeschooling:

"I'm sorry."
"Um...er...*blushes*"
"Um... I forgot?"
"I left it at school. -_-"

Yeah I was a loser.

 

[Loco Mocho]

Captian Falcon falcon punched it

 

[Slartibartfast]

Are Cryptica and I the only ones here who love homework?

I love math, but the homework is awful. Way, way too much repetition. I like essays, though.

 

[Aerodactyl]

-I had to use it as a conucter for a fire after my family and I were stuck on a deserted island. A helicopter saved us though.
-My dog ate it, then threw it up. WANNA SEE?
-I converted to a religon that restricts work at home.
-I threw my homework at some kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the world.
-I put it in therapy because it had too many problems.
-A crazy old man shot me with a hose and I accidentally used my homework as a shield.
-I recycled it because Earth is more important than homework.

Okay, lame exuses over.

 

[ignore_this_acct]

One time a hamster peed on my brothers homework,
True story.

 

[Aethelstan]

I have a friend who's dog really did eat his homework. He brought his dad and a box with the remains in to school to prove it.

I've always wanted to use one of these.

"Sorry, but my dad dropped our printer down the stairs."
"I dropped down a storm drain. If it keeps floating at this rate (assuming it empties into an ocean), you might be able to find in China in a few weeks."

Here are the worst excuses I've ever heard someone actually use in class:

"Yes, I heard you say we had homework, but I didn't know we had homework."

"I think someone in our class stole my homework."

"I didn't know we HAD to do it!"