Funny Moments at School V2

[Saith]

"Josh! It's... Too big!
I! Can't! Fit! It! In!
Do you have a smaller one?"

That was my RS teacher.

 

[Sage Noctowl]

So, about a week ago, we had to do guerrilla taping, to find out how people talk.
I got a conversation with my friend making Togepi noises. The whole class laughed when I tried to replicate her squeal. My English teacher asked, "What is that, like a Pokémon noise or something?" The funny thing was that I don't think he actually knew.

Then, I was having a drawing competition (we chose to draw a Butterfree) with the same friend. I brought them to school to have people vote on their favorite drawing. A student teacher in my first Block class comes up to me, and quietly asks, "Is that a Pikachu?" I don't know whether to feel happy that it was identified as a Pokémon, or sad at the fact that it was way off.

 

[eevee_em]

The other day in Government:

Teacher: In the United States, we have a two-party system. The two major parties are the Democratic party and the Republican party. Believe it or not, someone in my second period class didn't know this. I left class for about two minuets to bang my head against the wall.

Later that period:

Girl: We already know this.
Teacher: I know, but I'm still shell-shocked from second period.

I think I know which kid it was, but I'm not sure if he has Government 2nd period or not.

 

[Lili]

*everything quiet in Social Studies class*
Maeder: *out of nowhere* I WANNA GO HOME! I WANT TO CALL MY DAD! CALL MYYY DAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!! <insert high-pitched scream here>
Everyone: WTF?!?!
Seth and I: Yeah, you tell her, Maeder, rise against the authority!

*Social Studies again*
Substitute teacher: *starts to sing 'Hallelujah' in a soprano voice*
Class: *cheers*
Seth: WE LOVE YOU

*SS again..*
Kevin: *belly slides into classroom unnoticed, pretends to not be tardy*
*later on*
Kevin: *telling story on how he got suspended* Well, it's because I teabagged that kid and he snitched on me. *points to bestest buddy Creedy*
Creedy: Me? I'm sorry!
Kevin: Yeah, you will be. *keeps watching Creedy all throughout class*
Creedy: *prays for safety for the rest of the period, continuously asks me to help save him*

Devin: *talking about being with my friend DJ's mom 'last night'*
Me: Don't worry DJ, Devin doesn't have any male genetilia to do your mom with!
Devin: And you're flat-chested. Besides, do you want me to give you proof that I have them?
Me: Yes, because all you do it unbuckle your belt and then wimp out.
Devin: *starts unbuckling belt*
Me: I'll make it a deal; if you can prove your manhood, I'll prove that I'm not completely flat-chested.
Devin: Deal. *takes off belt*
Me: Woah, dude! Don't whip it out in public, man, tomorrow after school!
Devin: Okay. Tomorrow. I'll remember.

xD And so now I have to wait until tomorrow after school to watch my best friend fall back on his deal with me.

 

[eevee_em]

Today in Government(Goes along with yesterday's post):

Girl: Which one is the Republican party?
Teacher:...They're conservative.
Girl: I knew that! I just couldn't remember.
Teacher: Just remember that they're the opposite of that Democrats.
Girl: I don't know who they are, either.
Teacher:*Stares at ceiling, looking hopeless*

 

[Flora]

So this is from Sunday:

Matt: The speech is gonna go freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
Me: ...I'm a spohomore Matt.
Matt: Yeah, but I see you as a freshman.
Later...
Me: Now I'm all bummed oooout.
Ricky: You've got three years left!
Me: ...I'm a sophomore, Ricky.
Ricky: OH!
Even later...
Me: I wonder who I can get to do my senior speech...
Matt: I'll come back and do it for you.
Me: ...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MATT I'M A SOPHOMORE!
Tia: She's graduating the same year you are!

*sigh* those two boys just completely fail.

 

[Lili]

Me: *doing work quietly*
Seth: *throws handful of Cheese-Its in my direction, scaring the crap out of me*
Me: *screams, makes everyone else jump*

*watching movie about death masks*
Narrarator: And this is the death mask of Abraham Lincoln, and this is what he looks like computer-generated.
CG Lincoln: *blinks*
Everyone: *shudders*

Also, about Devin and I making our little deal, he wimped out, so I didn't do it either. Somewhat disappointed.

 

[ignore_this_acct]

For April fools day the people who are taking french are doing something with lots of paper fish. I am seriously scared.

 

[Flora]

Me: Tia, I have jelly beans!
Tia: OH GOD

*three of the guys are doing a scene for the play auditions, one of those is directing so he's goofing around*
Director-person: *speaking in a scary deep voice, then proceeds to prance around the stage*

...i have no comment on the second one

 

[eevee_em]

Teacher: Tomorrow, grab everything you need before your seventh period class, because we're leaving early and we ain't coming back!
Kid: Ever?!
Teacher: I wish!

 

[Mad MOAI]

I play the flute in Band at school, and for the first half of the class we were playing an organization of pieces by John Williams. We had just finished one of them when...

Obnoxious Guy: That flute music was beautiful!~
Me: *instantly thinks of Tayuya from Naruto* BWAAAAAAAH SENSEI!! <3

 

[Flora]

Me: Tia, your fiance is looking for you.
Tia: Where is she?
Me: i dunno, i saw her seventh period.
Tia: ...for a moment there I was gonna ask what fiance.
Me: ...you have more than one?
Tia: I'M JUST REALLY TIRED.

 

[Esque]

Yes, I gave people new names.
Jane: "So, in order to electrocute yourself with the toaster, do you have to plug it in and turn it on, or can you just plug it in?"
Mandy: "You have to turn toasters on?"
Jane: "Well you do the thing where you press the thing down..."
Teacher: "I think you just have to plug it in."
Jane: "Okay."
Me: "Wait - isn't making toast just electrocuting bread?"
Teacher: "No. The hot things in the toaster heat up to toast the bread."
Me: "Okay, how do you electrocute bread?"
Teacher: "Open up your notes..."

I love history. That's where we learn about important things like toasters.

 

[eevee_em]

One of the songs we're playing in band is "We Will Rock You". The other day, about 6 measures into the song, the lead snare player starts singing it. Very loudly and out of key.

Teacher: Now I know why he isn't in the choir.

 

[Mustardear]

There's a kid in my year with the surname "Winder" (as in the element Wind) and some people in my class were calling him Winder (like the verb "to wind"). He was getting really annoyed when the teacher came along and said "stop winding him up, boys!" She quickly apologised.

 

[shadow_lugia]

So, we're at that unit in science class. And today we were comparing sperm and eggs.

Teacher: *talking something about sperm*
Girl: Did you know that semen prevents tooth decay?
Everyone: ...
Teacher: And how was this experiment conducted?
Girl: *opens mouth*
Teacher: No, don't answer.

And recently I've been obssessing so much over The Legend of Zelda (even though I only own A Link to the Past, which is why LPs are so convenient). So I started playing a bunch of Ocarina of Time tunes on my trumpet in band yesterday.

Me: *playing*
Boy: :O That's the Song of Time!

 

[Lili]

Teacher: *talking about reasons the Europeans immigrated to America*
Kevin: Is it true that the Jews came because Hitler was trying to kill them all because he was Christian?
Teacher: Hitler wasn't Christian.
Tyler: Wasn't Hitler a Jew himself?
Teacher: No.
Kevin: Wasn't his dad a Jew and he hated his dad?
Teacher: No, he-
Tyler: Hitler was too totally a Jew.
Seth: Hitler was just an angry man, correct?
Tyler: Hitler hated himself because HE WAS A JEW.
Teacher: You're not listen-
Me: HITLER WAS A HOMOSEXUAL PROSTITUTE
Everyone: *laughs*
Teacher: I don't think Hitler was a prostitute.

Social Studies is great :). And it just so happens that apparently this week Adolf Hitler turns 120 or something.

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

Today, my friends and I were signing out early to go entertain oldies at the nursing home and a girl who was late tried to sneak past while my Spanish teacher was distracted. My Spanish teacher, of course, was not distracted and swooped out of the office, held her pen across the door and said in a deep, booming voice, "You shall not pass...without signing in." At first, my friends and I were like o.o but then we lol'd.

I couldn't make this shit up.

 

[eevee_em]

The other day in Chemistry the teacher was talking/ranting about how kids don't respect authority.

Teacher: Just the other day these kids got in trouble for fighting and they said they should be aloud to fight in the halls.
Kid: That's true, we should be aloud to fight.
Teacher: By the way, Signand Freud theorized that fighting was a homosexual act.
Other kid: Homosexual?
Teacher: Yeah, he said that its letting frustrations out.
Class:O.o

 

[speedblader03]

My precalc teacher and a kid in my class were tlking about the school musical in class.

Teacher: So there's no spring musical?
Student: No, because we already had the musical earlier this year.
*Teacher throws the marker he's holding behind him, and it neatly lands on the ledge on the board.*
*teacher looks behind him, then looks back at the class with a look of surpise and joy*
*Entire class applauds*