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Misreadings and stuff

I know a guy I went to high school with whose nephew wanted to know what "Reptile Dysfunction" was. I don't think kids should watch Viagra commercials.
 
My family's watching tennis, and they brought up the usual stats box. I was walking into the living room, so I read 'Career Titles' as 'Career Titties'

viva la hormones
 
So my brother was making up a really awesome Discworld entity: Golem bees. And then said something about shooting them with guns. When I pointed out that there weren't many guns in Discworld, he realized that using a gun wouldn't be a good idea. And then I remembered Eridan... and said he was shooting angles.

EDIT: Of the Twilight the Darkness (name of a Discworld character) as Twilight of the Daleks. Wrong cool British thing.
 
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So Coke have started doing that thing where they print names on the bottles again. Today I saw one that had the name "Nazia" on it, but from an angle such that I couldn't see the very last letter.
 
I recall seeing the name of a comedian, can't remember the name at all but he had F.C. initials and I read it as Fidel Castro.
 
Baron as Baragon. Then again it was the name of a Rhydon, so it wasn't that bad. (although Aggron is a better Baragon)
 
"Do you want more?" as "Do you want hoes?" I wish I was kidding (to be fair, it was on a billboard and I was in a car..)
 
Okay this is more like a misparsing of punctuation, and it wasn't even ME but it was hilarious so i'm including it

a friend read a sign saying "do not open, bees are being fumigated"

as "do not open bees"

do not open fucking bees
 
"Militant" as "mutant". So now there are apparently mutants in ISIL. The best thing is that my mom and brother misread it as well.

EDIT: And *raises glass* (as in a toast) as *raises glasses* (I imagined the thing with CSI Miamï taking off their shades)
 
I once, in a test, misread, "The girl filled herself," with "The hill fucked herself," which seemed really funny at the time, but looking back, it wasn't that funny :/
 
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