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Misreadings and stuff

Mis-heard "I'm adic-dic-dic-dicted to you" as "I'm a dick-dick-dick to you". It was in a song that my brother was listening to, and it does sound like the sort of stuff he'd listen to. =P
 
"Do you think the Anime sucks?" as "Do you think the Atheists suck?"

I was like 'why is that in the Pokémon section?'.
 
In a review for a book: "deeply affected me" as "derpily affectionated me." I was like what
And then somehow cheese as nidoran-f. How do I do this.
 
There was a huge fake chestnut somewhere, with a hole in the spiky shell on one side. I first thought it was supposed to be a spiky thing with an eye.
 
I've read "Shrimp Dumplings" as "Shrimp Dumpings" on a Chinese takeout menu before. Really helped my appetite XD
 
A couple of men were walking the front desk at work. I just overheard the last line of their conversation.

What I head:
First guy: What a penis!
Second guy: I heard. Did he take lessons at school?
First guy: I heard his mother taught him.

Something tells me I heard that wrong.
 
Mis-heard "Piraten" as "Harry Potter" and mis-read "The Black Death" as "The Shit Doctor". I have no idea. (Note: "Piraten" is German for "Pirates")
 
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