Omegle

[Ninjabait]

God, so many bots. >_>

I'll edit this when I actually find something.

Edit: Not a human, but funny.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Oh, you again.
You: I thought I told you, I never wanted to see you again.
You: Why didn't you return my calls?
You: I thought we had something special.
You: Don't you love me?
You: I guess not, since you ran off with that tramp.
You: Leaving me with the baby.
You: HE'S NOT EVEN MINE, DAMMIT!
You: You know what?
You: I'm sick of this.
You: I'm going to hunt you down.
You: And when I find you.
Your controversial partner has disconnected.

Ah, got to love those strange people that don't say anything. =3

 

[Yarnchu]

Warning: The following is extremly long and may be offensive. And I'm not actually black.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: are you the oyayay guy?
Stranger: no D:
You: Damn.
Stranger: are you?
You: no D:
You: Have you gotten him before?
Stranger: damn
Stranger: nope! whats so great about em
You: I had the longest conv. with him
You: Yelling all kinds of cray shit at each other
You: *crazy
Stranger: sexy
You: m/f?
Stranger: femme
You: cool. m
Stranger: hi m
You: hi femme
Stranger: so so so
You: E3 was awesome
Stranger: e3?
You: big entertainment thingy. Its where Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony reveal their new games and stuff.
You: Sadly, there was no kirby.
You: ;.;
Stranger: is kirby a male or female?
You: male
Stranger: is he homosexual?
You: idk. he is a pink puffball
Stranger: are you homosexual
You: but one time he blushed after being kissed
You: by a girl.
You: and no I'm not
Stranger: hm maybe hes bicurious
You: hmm
You: .....
Stranger: are you?
You: no
You: I like boobies
Stranger: you might also like penises
You: fuck no. vaginas maybe
Stranger: idk, vaginas are pretty ugly
You: i herd they taste good though
Stranger: what did you hear they taste like
You: pussy
Stranger: like cats?
You: I suppose
Stranger: i dont think cats taste very good
You: I have 6 I'm gonna cook tonight.
Stranger: are you chinese
You: no
You: Stranger is typing...
Stranger: what if you are eating out a girl and she taste so good you bite her vagina off?
You: hmmm....never though of that
Stranger: how do you control these things?
Stranger: you should
You: maybe I'll do it to you.
You: :D
You: ;D
Stranger: i dont want my vagina bitten off...
You: i'm suprised yyou haven't dced yet...
Stranger: dced?
You: dusconnected
You: *dis
Stranger: why do you want me too?
You: I don'
You: I'm justy surprised
You: Stranger is typing...
You: hello?
Stranger: helllo?
You: I thought I lost you
Stranger: what?
Stranger: youre dumb
You: don't leave me baby
Stranger: duhdhdiudhejrirhejehhdkskalowpqhjf
You: fufufuufufufa
You: ck
Stranger: youre leaving me
Stranger: fuuuuuu
You: dssasfdafafadfgwagasiheq
You: type faster stranger
Stranger: do you live in your mothers basement
You: no.
Stranger: im on a phone, nigger
You: I'm not a nigger either
You: offensive lady
Stranger: no im pretty sure you are
Stranger: doublenigger
You: so I guess you want my black cock, then?
Stranger: no im okay, i have a bf
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That was fun.

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

You: Daddy, is that you?

Stranger: yes sun its me

You: OH DADDY I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Stranger: me too, but i have something to tell you

You: What, daddy?

Stranger: your mother, is a prostitute, and we are not together anymore

You: What's that, daddy?

Stranger: a woman who gets money in a diferent way

You: Oh, okay.

Stranger: haha

Stranger: now, backing to reality

You: Okay. Hello.

Stranger: hello

Stranger: asl?

You: 14, male, U.S.

Stranger: omg

 

[Autumn]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HAI
Stranger: hello
Stranger: japanese?
You: nope
Stranger: neither am i
You: hah
Stranger: you from?
You: america unfortunately
Stranger: america america or south america?
You: oh uh usa
Stranger: oh
Stranger: poor you
You: yeah ;~;
Stranger: what's wrong with usa?
Stranger: obama?
You: a good amount of things
You: no actually obama was all right until recently, but nearly everything else sucks
Stranger: move to here
You: which is?
Stranger: brazil
Stranger: yay
You: ah
You: i'm thinking canada
Stranger: how imaginative you are
You: i know rite!!1!11
Stranger: everybody goes to canada
Stranger: try some other place
You: my friend says if i go to canada i'll be living among the moose
Stranger: ohh, ok then
You: she says she doesn't want to call me because then a moose will answer the phone
Stranger: in brazil, humans use to pick up the phone
You: lol
You: maybe the moose are humans in disguise?
Stranger: maybe the moose are moose
You: or that
You: i wonder what picks up the phone on the moon
Stranger: phones don't work
Stranger: but a mobile could work ;D
You: that'd be hilarious
You: "HI HONEY I'M CALLING FROM THE MOON"
You: "SORRY BAD CONNECTION, HAVE TO GO"
Stranger: "what?!"
Stranger: haha, what a shame, there's no noise there
You: oh yeah
Stranger: you'd have to text
You: "txtin u frm the moon"
You: (i don't know, i don't even have a mobile to text with)
Stranger: how come?
Stranger: i couldn't live without my mobile!
You: um
You: don't need one i guess?
You: don't have much in the way of a social life
You: other than the internets
Stranger: when i didn't have a mobile, i thought this way
Stranger: gotta go to the bathroom, damnit...
Stranger: i've eaten something rotten
Stranger: i guess
You: wow
Stranger: ok, i can wait
You: is that a good thing? o.O
Stranger: not at all
You: oh
Stranger: ouch...my stomach is killing me
You: D:
Stranger: oh noeeees
Stranger: call doc House
You: um
You: i don't watch that show on a regular basis :x
Stranger: call him anyway
You: i watched scrubs for a while though
Stranger: º____________________________º
Stranger: gotta go now
You: lol
You: oh
Stranger: bye, strangeeeeeeerrrrrrr
You: mkay bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Not great, but eh. It was my first time doing it so :x

 

[Not Meowth]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i like you
You: HELP
Stranger: do you like me?
You: I'VE FALLEN DOWN A WELL
You: AND I CAN'T GET OUT
You: OH GOD GET A LADDER
Stranger: CLIMB UP MY PENIS ;)
You: THERE IS A TROLL OR SOMETHING DOWN HERE AND HE WANTS TO EAT ME
You: AND THE WELL IS OVER AN INCH DEEP
You: SO THAT'S NO GOOD BUT THANKS
Stranger: :L:L nice il give you that
Stranger: :D
You: ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME ESCAPE BEFORE PRINCE BATHASAZ IS CONSUMED BY THE FIERY FROG BEASTS OF ANGROTHNAR AND LORD MZARWAK TAKES OVER THE KINGDOM WITH FISTS OF IRON?!
Stranger: WoW?
You: YES, IT IS /VERY/ IMPRESSIVE. NOW HELP
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This deserves posting if only for the epic lacing in the middle. >:3

 

[Autumn]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 'ALLO
Stranger: howdy
Stranger: how are ya
You: I'M FINE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[BynineB]

Stranger: a/s/l
You: 19
You: F
You: Yumble.
Stranger: 82/m here
Stranger: you like older men?
You: Yes!
You: I love them!
You: Pushing them off cliffs, anyway.
You: And breaking their canes.
Stranger: My wheelchair has brakes on it
You: Dude.
You: Epic.
Stranger: Will be kind of hard to roll it
Stranger: Chicks shouldn't be saying dude
Stranger: It's not classy
You: Dude
You: Dude
You: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
You: Maaaan.
Stranger: i can tell you are down with the cheeseburgers
You: Can I haz wun?
Stranger: Looks like you could stand to skip a few
Stranger: Maybe the next 50 or so
You: HEY
Stranger: Might help out
You: DON'T CALLL MEEE FAAAAAAT
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
You: :'(

...Lol.

 

[StyliBoy]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how are you
Stranger: ?
You: I'm good, how about you?
Stranger: great
Stranger: from?
You: What are you doing?
Stranger: just watching utube
Stranger: from?
You: Me?
You: What if I said Canada?
Stranger: c'set la vie
You: Whonowwhat'sit?
Stranger: *c'est
You: What if I said I didn't know French?
Stranger: me 2
Stranger: lol
You: So what did you say?
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: celine dion sucks
Stranger: lol
You: Lol
You: My mom actually likes her music
You: PLus Madonna too
Stranger: its girly music
Stranger: its normal
Stranger: so are you french?
You: Technically
You: No
You: BUt my mom's into weird stuff, I tell you
Stranger: satanic stuff?
You: No
You: Like Indian and Arabian music
You: Plus techno
You: It's kinda creepy
Stranger: techno its a little bit better than that indian and arabian
You: Yeah
Stranger: indie music is kinda nice
You: I like pretty much anything
You: Except country and rap
Stranger: oohhh
You: *Shudders*
Stranger: country sucks so much
You: I know
Stranger: i love all kinds of music
Stranger: but danmm
You: Wow.
Stranger: country no way jose
You: This is the longest conversation I've had
Stranger: lol
You: Everyone else just goes asl
You: And I call them a stalker
You: And they disconnect
Stranger: lool
You: It's hilarious
Stranger: its the internet my friend
Stranger: what are you expecting?
Stranger: lol
You: I'm expecting some decency
You: But I guess not
You: I'm forgetting
You: Most people on the Internet are 40 and still living with their moms
Stranger: specially if u are a girl
You: Yeah
Stranger: they only ask for webcam
You: "Hey baby. Wanna come over to my crib tonight?"
You: LOL
Stranger: lol
Stranger: lot a pervs
You: Definitely
Stranger: so tell me why are u here?
You: I was shown by people
Stranger: nothing to do?
You: And I thought "What the heck?"
Stranger: looool
You: As long as I don't give out too much
Stranger: i was like what the hell
Stranger: lets try
Stranger: but perv after perv
You: Yep
Stranger: i dont fancy this very much
Stranger: but you are ok
Stranger: :)
You: Thanks
You: :)
Stranger: so were are you from?
You: What if I said Canada?
Stranger: ist it to cold?
You: Nah
You: Not if you're in a city
Stranger: im from a beach place
You: Ooh
You: I like beaches
Stranger: my country its very worm
You: Many much so
You: Worm?
You: Are you a worm?
Stranger: *warm
You: Ah
Stranger: sorry
You: That's okay
Stranger: i dont speak english
You: That's fine
Stranger: ;)
You: Most Americans can't speak English either
Stranger: loool
You: I mean, seriously!
Stranger: have you seen the clip "american are not stupid"?
You: Ha
You: That's a lie
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE
Stranger: how did bush get elected twice?
You: I dunno
You: LOL
You: Americans are dumbasses
Stranger: and i told u that im american
Stranger: *if i
Stranger: ?
You: I would be like "Oops"
You: But what if I told you I'm American?
Stranger: i would say that you are probably a proud one
Stranger: even with all the downs that usa has
You: Believe me
You: I think America is ignorant and stuck up
You: And I'm glad the Big Three's going down
You: Because we as a country deserve it
Stranger: well
Stranger: we are a small country
Stranger: we normal stay neutral in all wars
You: I think I know where you live
Stranger: and we normaly see usa like to big to governed
Stranger: where do u think?
You: Austria
You: Switzerland
Stranger: world war and austria?
Stranger: i say neutral
Stranger: swise? i say a beach country :)
You: Well, Austria has since been neutral
You: But whatever
You: Hmmm.......what continent?
You: South America
Stranger: urope
Stranger: *europe
Stranger: soccer, beach and wine lol
You: Hmmm.....
You: Spain!
You: HAHAA
Stranger: nope
You: Portugal!
You: HAHA
Stranger: its right!
You: I WIN
You: *Dances
You: *
Stranger: very good
Stranger: normaly americans say that portugal is a part of spain
You: Hah
Stranger: and dont know that portugal is a country
You: I know the difference
You: You guys had Magellan
You: I think
Stranger: what?
You: You know
You: Fernidad Magellan
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: fernando magalhães
You: The guy that sailed around the world
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: magalhães, vasco da gama
You: HOH
You: PORTUGUESE
Stranger: yeah
You: But what does it mean?
Stranger: those guys are all portugues
You: Oh
You: Cool
Stranger: magalhães? its just a name like john
You: Oh
You: That's new
You: I'm going to use that tomorrow in school
Stranger: lol
Stranger: seriously?
You: Not kidding
Stranger: portugal in that time was the strongest country in the world
You: Yeah
You: But then America showed up
You: EWWWW
Stranger: loool
Stranger: well
Stranger: its true
You: Yeah
Stranger: but we are know probably smaller than texas
You: Who cares?
You: Texans are idiots
You: Have you seen Bush?
Stranger: we had brasil, half africa and sereval country in asia
Stranger: loool
Stranger: bush is the typical texan 4 me
Stranger: i just dont understand 1 thing
You: Bush is the poster man for the American idiot
Stranger: how the heck you translate a name like magalhães
You: Very carefully
You: VERY CAREFULLY
Stranger: americans evan can not read correctly magalhães
Stranger: why?
You: I can read it, I think
Stranger: no because the english does not have the sounds we use
Stranger: *english language
You: Well, I have to go
You: Sorry
You: Bye bye
Stranger: wait
Stranger: nice talking to u
You: You too
Stranger: its sad that more people are not like u?
Stranger: *u!
You: I know
You: You too
You: Well, bye
You have disconnected.

Finally. Someone that isn't a perv

 

[BynineB]

Stranger: you stole the pickles!
Stranger: i want the pickles
You: No.
Stranger: relinquish the pickles!
You: Give them to me.
You: I shall make relish.
Stranger: i cant! you stole them!
You: I relish relish.
You: Fwohoho.
Stranger: you hate relish!
You: I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You: oooooooooooooooooooooo*cough*oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You: ve relish!
Stranger: no you do not! so hand over the dang pickles!
You: Grrr.
You: I shall not relinquish thy pickles of gravy!
Stranger: yes you will! i need to paint them blue and send them to france so that the dogs can fit in the doghouse!!!
You: But then the cat will be unable to jump over the moon.
You: Due to Garchomp becoming uber.
Stranger: but if the cat jumps over the moon then all of the ants in ireland will build an eiffel tower!!
You: Which will be destroyed by G.I.Joe.
You: Good DAY, sir.
You have disconnected.

 

[J.T.]

Because I could :D

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Yo.
Stranger: howdy
Stranger: m 44 usa
You: m 15 Canada.
You: This is the part where you DC because I'm a guy.
You: Right?
Stranger: no,
You: Wow, a goddamn first.
Stranger: I'm not on here to Hook Up
You: Well, that makes two of us.
You: And 2488 of them.
You: o.O
Stranger: Just here to talk to Interesting people
You: Cool.
Stranger: Cool
Stranger: so where in Canada?
You: Alberta.
Stranger: Ok, I'm from Ohio
You: Cool.
You: DEATH TO AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAA
You have disconnected.

Always, always play along. And always avoid the creepy ones.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I KILLED YOUR HUSBAND
You: OSHI--
You: RYANNNNN
You: WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Stranger: HUH
Stranger: I AM IN YOUR HOUSE AND WATCHING YOU TYPE RIGHT NOW
You: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Continued this theme with the next guy because I could :D I think I seriously mindfucked him.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HE KILLED MY HUSBAAAAAAAAND
You: OH MY GOD HE KILLED MY RYAAAAAAAAAN
You: I DON'T EVEN HAVE MONEY FOR A FUNERAL
You: HE TOOK MY EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING
You: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ok
You: NO
Stranger: u serious>
You: NOT OKAY
Stranger: ?
You have disconnected.

I don't even know Spanish :D

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: que?
Stranger: huh?
You: que pasa?
Stranger: sorry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

The Gods Who Say Ni!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ODIN COMMANDS YOU TO SPEAK
Stranger: ...Hello.
You: BRING US
You: A SHRUBBERY
Stranger: Uh.. yes sir.. I will find one right away.
You: DAMN STRAIGHT.
You: |:[
You have disconnected.

I don't even need much prompting to screw with someone.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey.
Stranger: Scared
You: You should be.
You: |:)
Stranger: Are you scary?
You: The scariest man alive.
You: For I
You: am MICHAEL JACKSON.
You: oshit dropped my nose brb
You have disconnected.

TMI in the last line.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello!
You: Hey.
Stranger: how are you?
You: Good. First normal person I've met all day
You: I mean, I was driving home from work, and HUNDREDS OF CARS were going the wrong way down the road.
Stranger: For real??
You: And I'm all "LEARN TO DRIVE FUCKERS"
You: And then these cops started chasing me
Stranger: you sure you werent on the wrong side?
You: And I'm all "YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY"
You: And then one of those dumbshits hit me
You: and now I'm in a hospital bed.
You: And it'S ALL THEIR FAULT.
Stranger: dang, tough day man.
You: Aw shit, bedpan time. See you.
You have disconnected.

I felt physically sick saying that response.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hi.
Stranger: greatest rock song ever?
You: JONAS BROTHERS
You: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Stranger: booo
Stranger: seriously
You: FUCK YOUUUUUU
You: D:
Stranger: im having an argument with my friend
Stranger: okay but
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Thanks for All the Fish]

Stranger: Hey
You: Hey
Stranger: asl?
You: You a stalker? o.o;
Stranger: I want to pee on yuor face

Outta all of them, this one was just fucken weiird o.o;

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

You: Alabama, you?

Stranger: well thats nice

Stranger: i dont even get a hi

You: Sorry, forgot.

You: HI!

Stranger: no no

Stranger: its 2 late

Stranger: im already hurt

You: I'm... I'm soorry!!!

Stranger: im going to kill myself nao

You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one

You: lol

You: hello?

 

[J.T.]

Varying it up a bit.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey.
Stranger: asl
You: 9001/it/Qrbrrbirlbl
Stranger: funny
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm psychic.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m/f?
You: M
You: See you!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Because patience takes too long.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: convo sucks already <-- said less than three seconds after convo starts
Stranger: yawn
You: Agreed.
You: D:
Stranger: :(
You have disconnected.

Who says I hate Canadian stereotypes? (hint: it's me)

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: Heya.
Stranger: from
You: Canada
You: OH GOD
You: MY IGLOO IS MELTING
You: I gotta go, my home is in danger D:
You have disconnected.

As a side note, I have never pretended to be a woman.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: m/f?
You: M pretending to be F.
You: Well, I'm honest.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

CONTINUING A RUNNING JOKE

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi~ladyz
Stranger: +_-
You: LADIES?
You: WHERE?!
Stranger: 18/m/northkorea
You: You know Kim Jong Il?
Stranger: of course ~ you know lee myong pak??
You: That bastard owes me twenty bucks.
You: Lee Myong Pak owes me like fifty.
You: Those guys can't play poker to save their country.
Stranger: I have hack do you want it?
You: NO
You: I WANT THOSE FUCKERS TO PAY UP
You: |:[
Stranger: what??
Stranger: parden me please?
Stranger: asl
You: TELL KIM JONG IL AND WHATSISNAME TO GIMME MY MONEY
You: 9001/It/Qrbrrbrlbl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I stopped and started acting serious about halfway through.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: gay?
You: Is this a trick question?
Stranger: no im asking
Stranger: are you gay?
You: What's that supposed to mean?
Stranger: are you homosexual?
You: I don't like your tone, young man.
Stranger: why? its sexuality
Stranger: are you straight then?
You: Nah, I'm cool with gays.
You: Just wanted to fuck with you.
You: Not WITH you with you.
You: I'm cool with gays, just... not myself.
Stranger: bye then.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Decided to have a stoner moment.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: WHOOOOOOOOAAAAA
You: IS YOUR MONITOR MOVING?
You: BECAUSE MINE IS DUDE
You: DUDE
You: DUUUUUUUUUDE
Stranger: LL?
You: CAN YOU TURN OFF THE WAAAAAVES?
You: BECAUSE IT'S MAKING ME SICK
You: OH GOD I JUST FELL
You: WHOA MY LEG IS A SNAKE
You: FUCK YEAH
You: dude
You: i'm in happylaaaaaaaaand
You: are you in happyland too?
Stranger: not as happy as you
You: aw.
Stranger: :/
You: WHOA DID YOU KNOW
You: CLOCKS LIKE
You: MOVE
Stranger: yes
You: HOLY SHIT
You: WHOA MY CLOCK IS TRIPPING
You: I THINK SOMEONE GAVE IT DRUGS.
You have disconnected.

I don't let stuff like this die easily.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi.
Stranger: how are you?
You: Good.
You: But my clock had drugs so I had to go catch it.
Stranger: ok
You: FUCK IT'S DOING IT AGAIN
You have disconnected.

RACISTS THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey.
Stranger: asl？
You: 9001/It/Qrbrrbrlbl
Stranger: what》
You: You're racist against Qrbrrbrlblians, aren't you?
You: JUST BECAUSE WE LIVE LONGER THAN YOU
Stranger: Qrbrrbrlblians？
Stranger: what isit？
Stranger: im chinese？
Stranger: we are peaceful
You: DOESN'T GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO BE RACIST
You: IMMA GO BACK TO QRBRRBRLBL TOWN CENTER
You have disconnected.

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi

You: hi

You: Do u eat nickels?

Stranger: Of course not

You: Oh, Quarters, then?

Stranger: Well, for the same reason, I do not

You: Do you hate American Presidents for some reason?

Stranger: Yes

You: Why?

Stranger: Well it's an answer that would take awhile to articulate

You: Is it why you won't eat coins with said presidents on them?

Stranger: No, I don't eat coinage

You: Aww, but they're an excellent source of minerals!

Stranger: I don't think I need that much copper in my diet.

You: Hmm, maybe /that's/ why the Red Cross won't take my blood...

Stranger: I hate mothes

You: Why?

Stranger: They come in my room when I open the window

You: Did it touch you innapropriately?

Stranger: Not yet

Stranger: but sometimes they come pretty close

You: How? Wouldn't they have to go through your clothes? ARE THEY GHOSTS?

Stranger: oh man

Stranger: My music is too real

Stranger: it scares me

Stranger: I'm afraid it'll touch me

You: Is it about moths?

Stranger: No

Stranger: I am tripping and I can't tell if there's actually a bug in my room or not

Stranger: I hate bugs

You: Hey, are you stoned or something?

Stranger: No not weed

You: What, then?

Stranger: Don't want to say, but I am tripping right now.

You: I AM A POLICE! HANDS UP!

You: lol

You: stay safe.

Stranger: It's not illegal to be tripping

Stranger: Just illegal to possess the stuffs

Stranger: Not that that makes for interesting conversation

You: yes but you would have to possess the stuffs to be tripping.

You: whatever.

You: bye.

 

[hopeandjoy]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ello
You: They're watching...
You: They're everywhere...
You: We are everywhere...
Stranger: ..?
You: We are tCoD.
You: And we find idiots here and troll them.
You: You have been warned.
You: Act smart.
You: Or we will find you.
You have disconnected.

Yeah, I'm going around with Sarcastic Confessions. I'm just confusing them.

EDIT:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: is your name alex?
You: no :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Just because I'm alex doesn't mean I'm not any fun! D=

EDIT2:
This one isn't funny or embarrassing in any way. It's just... Enlightening. Kinda nice to talk to someone with a brain.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: this part is so awkward
You: lol iknow
Stranger: umm...
Stranger: so, where are you from?
You: us of a
Stranger: w00t, me too
Stranger: I just talked to someone from Finland
Stranger: I had to check
Stranger: :P
You: i talked with someone from brazil
You: shows you that the internet is a vast place, eh?
Stranger: oh I know
Stranger: and it's just always reminding you of it
You: yeah
You: the internet also one of those places where you have to shift though the dust
You: if you get lucky you meet someone with half a brain
You: today I've meet tree of those people.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: I know how that goes
You: yeah
Stranger: I bet a lot of them are like...pre-teens and whatnot
You: I think most of them are
Stranger: I was like that when I was that age
You: I also think they flock from 4chan and stuff
Stranger: "OMG! LOLLERSKATES"
You: me too
Stranger: gotcha
Stranger: I think there's a part of me that will always be that age
You: yeah
Stranger: but I'm glad that I'm a little older now
You: Me too
You: You learn a lot
Stranger: Oh yeah.
Stranger: Like, how not to embarrass yourself on the interwebs.
You: ooohhh yeah
You: I was a big idiot at first
Stranger: Really?
You: not quite a n00b, but close enough
Stranger: haha
Stranger: I just used to be an ass about certain things.
You: Me too
You: Mellowed down a lot
Stranger: Like, call people out on bad grammar and stuff.
Stranger: Yep.
You: I used to be a grammar nazi too.
Stranger: I found out that grammar has a time and a place.
You: *nods*
Stranger: Fast-typing is not one of those places.
You: lol, yep
You: long as you learn the difference, of course
Stranger: Naturally.
You: well, I gtg.
You: It was nice talking to you.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: you too
You: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Not Meowth]

Well, something possessed me to ask random people whether they think Moses or Noah would win in a fight. (Weird the things that seem like a good idea at 4 in the morning.) Here are a few responses.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Who do you think would win in a fight between Moses and Noah?
Stranger: 你好吗？
Stranger: noah
Stranger: giraffes kick ass
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Who do you think would win in a fight between Moses and Noah?
Stranger: What`s mean?
You: The opposite of kind.
Stranger: o
You: So I'll put you down for Moses shall I?
Stranger: yes
You: Many thanks.
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ola
You: Who do you think would win in a fight between Moses and Noah?
Stranger: Moses
Stranger: no wait Noah
Stranger: actually Moses
Stranger: ohh who gives a fuck :P
You: Thanks for your time. =)
You have disconnected.

BIG DECISIONS

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Who do you think would win in a fight between Moses and Noah?
Stranger: Jesus
Stranger: he always wins
You: He's not in the fight though.
Stranger: he is everywhere my son
You: Yes, but he's not actually fighting. Maybe he's cheering them on or something but not competing.
Stranger: Fine
Stranger: Moses
You: Thank you.
You have disconnected.

Several people have had similar difficulty grasping this "Noah and Moses ONLY" concept =p



Also,

Stranger: if you are a female, can I see pictures of your feet?

I was gonna Google a pic of some sort of animal's foot or something and post it but they disconnected D:

 

[Koori Renchuu]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Shortest convo EVER!

Stranger: hey
You: Hello!
Stranger: i love you
You: awww how sweet!
Stranger: SWEAT!!!!!!!!!!????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!! EWIE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

One of you must have gotten me!

 

[turbler]

Stranger: ㅗㅑ
Stranger: hi
You: hi
You: ...
You: now whta?
You: *what?
Stranger: shut up
Stranger: yang ki!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

lol what... :huh:

 

[Koori Renchuu]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: nation?
You: United states!
Stranger: fuk off
You: why?
Stranger: im your dad chinese
You: OK, have you been doing PCP?
Stranger: what the hell?
You: You can't form a proper sentence, you must be on something!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

WTF!

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: BORING
Stranger: ps. hello
You: So, you are bored! So am I!
Stranger: We have a lot in common.
Stranger: Do you think we are soulmates?
You: We must be!
Stranger: So where are the nudes at?
You: In the nudist colony you silly goose!
Stranger: Damn.
Stranger: Well see ya late babycakes.
Stranger: LATER*
Stranger: <3 xoxoxoxoxo
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Creepy

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ihi
You: Hi!
Stranger: where you from?
You: Kentucky!
Stranger: o?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

He thinks I'm a hick! ;-;

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: I AM A SPACE VIKING SEEKING TO RAPE YOU!!!!
Stranger: YOU WELL PONCTUATED PERSON!!
Stranger: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CAPITALISE?
Stranger: IT'S HI FOR GOD'S SAKE
You: Well, if it isn't a Norse butt pirate!
Stranger: HMMMM
Stranger: DO NOT MOCK ME YOU GRAMATICALLY CORRECT ASSHOLE!!!
You: Oh how droll, I guess you forgot to steer while using cruise control!
Stranger: STOP IT, YOUR WELL PONCTUATED EXPERESSIONS ENRAGE ME FURTHER!!
You: Well, that's not my problem!
Stranger: WTF? DROLL?
Stranger: ARE YOU FROM LIKE THE 19TH CENTURY?
You: No, I just read the dictionary for fun!
Stranger: YOU JUST EARNED A SPOT ON A VERY SPECIAL LIST
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

What the fuck! He needs to stop the roid rage!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hey
Stranger: female?
You: Male *watches disconnect*
Stranger: hahahahahahahaha
Stranger: hahahha
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: funny shit
You: Fine, if you won't disconnect I WILL!
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hi
You: s/l
Stranger: female
Stranger: 16
Stranger: US
Stranger: you
?
You: 19/m/Kentucky
You: Note, I only asked for gender and location.
Stranger: why not age?
You: In all honesty, I just think that life's too short to worry about one's age!
Stranger: ohh
You: Worry about the people, the experiences, and the horrid stuf we're doing to the environment!
Stranger: i'm actually just horny right now
You have disconnected.

God, she must be blonde!

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: PRAISE HEATHUS!
You: Holy hell, a mexican with a lisp!
Stranger: nuh uh! i am referring to the heathus christ church of ledger day saints!
You: Why so serious?
Stranger: Cause I found my boyfriends body marinating in my fridge, so quite frankly, I'm a little shaken.
You: Well, it's not my fault, your parents must be cannibals!
Stranger: Or maybe it was really me but I am unaware that I have multiple personality syndrome. Or perhaps it was you.
You: Or maybe you were on LSD!
Stranger: I think i still am. i keep thinking something is moving around in my walls.
You: Dude, just go to sleep and the wall crawler will be gone!
Stranger: it will probably eat me, but ok
Stranger: wish me luck
You: Luck!
Stranger: :)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

XD

 

[Yarnchu]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: pi
You: chu
You: pika
You: chupi
You: kapichu
You: WTF MINDFUX!?1/ I made a staircase of pika!
You: ....stranger?
You: D:
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Guess they didn't like Pika....

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: We are tCoD
Stranger: whats tCoD?
You: We find idiots here and troll them
Stranger: hehe thats what im doing xD
You: Act smart, for you have been warned.
Stranger: so uh you madcuzubad?
You: No....
You: You obviously don't know who I am.
You: What, are you DENSE? Are you RETARDED or something? Who the hell do you THINK I am? I'm the goddamn Batman.
Stranger: well im superman
Stranger: and the joker
Stranger: combined
Stranger: so i win
Stranger: you lose
Stranger: madcuzubad
You: Fuck you. I better not see you again. I'll troll you if I do.
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Do you like kirby?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

<(;_;)>