Omegle

[Treechu]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Have you accepted Nigger Jesus as your savior?
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: where are u from?
You: Africa, gaining access to the great internet by Nigger Jesus' want to be heard.
Stranger: do you speak portuguese?
You: Nigger Jesus was tied to the cross, with watermelon juice soaked rag in his mouth, a crown made out of chikcen bones. The white man put him down, mainly by whipping the shit out of him.
You: As he sat there, bleeding grape soda flavored blood, he looked up to the heavens, giving all the other niggers of the futur redemption for their sins.
You: Can I get an amen?
You: PLEASE LORD CAN I GET AN AMEN.
You: I SAY SAY
You: CAN I GET AN AMEN?
Stranger: you r crazy guy
Stranger: omfg
You: FUCK YOU CRACKER
You: *shoots you up*
You have disconnected

I love this website.

 

[MidnightAgony]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: Hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

What's his problem?

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I'MMA CHARGIN' MA LAZER!
Stranger: NOOOOOOO
You: I'MMA firIN' MA LAZER!
Stranger: NOOOO
Stranger: PLZ

You: _____________________________
You: _____________________________
Stranger: AHHHHHHH
You: ARE YOU DEAD?
Stranger: *Falls to the ground*
You: OH GOD I THINK HE/SHE IS!
Stranger: tell my mom I said...
Stranger: die...
Stranger: ughhhh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I didn't even get the chance to tell their mom.

 

[Not Meowth]

TYPING TURKEY IN RESPONSE TO EVERYTHING GO

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Turkey
Stranger: hi
You: Turkey
Stranger: no sorry
You: Turkey
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Turkey
Stranger: india
You: Turkey
Stranger: india
You: Turkey
Stranger: india
You: Turkey
Stranger: Hi stranger
You: Turkey
Stranger: asl?
You: Turkey
Stranger: cool
Stranger: 18 m india
You: Turkey
Stranger: wow
You: Turkey
You: Turkey
Stranger: whats your name?
You: Turkey
Stranger: cool
You: Turkey
Stranger: what do you do?
You: Turkey
Stranger: cool
Stranger: am a student
You: Turkey
You: Turkey
Stranger: how old are you?
You: Turkey
Stranger: :(
You: Turkey
Stranger: you are too old
You: Turkey
Stranger: all right cut that out
You: Turkey
Stranger: its not amusing anymore
Stranger: plz
You: Turkey
You: Turkey
You: Turkey?
You: TURKEY
You: Sorry. I won't say turkey again.
Stranger: =)
Stranger: asl?
You: Turkey
You: WHOOPS IT JUST SLIPPED OUT TURKEY D:
Stranger: yeah you did
You: TURKEY!
You have disconnected.

 

[Ninjabait]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: lost_marco@windowslive.com

You: Marco's lost?!

You: WE MUST FIND HIM!

You: POST HASTE!

You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: Hello.

Stranger: asl?

You: ;_;

You: That's mean.

Stranger: lol why

You: You are an asl, sir.

You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I love you.
Stranger: well i hate u
You: WHY?
Stranger: cause.
Your controversial partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: are u naughty girl ??

You: I'm a guy.

You: You didn't even give me a chance to open with a witty remark. D=

You: Jerk.

You have disconnected

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Are you my daddy?

Stranger: yes.

You: Where have you been the past fourty years?

Stranger: well...

Stranger: u know... sometimes mom and dad dont like each others anymore, and....

Stranger: well... then they might break up.

You: I lived in the basement, and collected comics because I didn't have a strong male role model.

You: WHY?

You: WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?!

Stranger: well... daddy had some bisnes and... well u know. lets hug!

You: You're not my father.

You: *shoots*

You: You're my evil clone.

Stranger: luke, i am your mother.

You: You didn't think I would see through you're ruse?

You: Now let's show all of Gotham you're secret.

Stranger: i rlly am ur dad!

You: *joker laugh*

You have disconnected.

LOL.

 

[Taliax]

Stranger: hi
You: Hi.
You: What would you do if the world was a pyramid?
Stranger: I'd be
Stranger: I don't even know
Stranger: let me think for a second
Stranger: I would...
Stranger: When you say pyramid, would it be equilateral?
Stranger: Or would it be lopsided and uneven.
Stranger: Either way, I would die.
You: Well, It's good thing the woeld is square, then!
Stranger: LIES. :(
Stranger: The world is spherical.
Stranger: That's what school taught me.
You: I ATE SCHOOL.
Stranger: NO
Stranger: NO
Stranger: NO
You: I ATE SCIENCE TOO.
Stranger: NO
Stranger: FFFFFF OH GOD
You: YES.
You: YES!
Stranger: WHY YOU DO DIS
Stranger: ;_;
Stranger: WHERE IS LOGIC NOW
Stranger: NO
Stranger: DON'T TELL ME YOU ATE LOGIC TOO
You: LOGIC WAS THE TASTIEST OF THEM ALL!
Stranger: WE ARE SCREWED
Stranger: THANKS A LOT STRANGER :(
Stranger: I actually have to get going, nice talking to you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That was the funniest one I've found so far.

 

[Espeon]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Aloha?
Stranger: aloha!
Stranger: asl?
You: 32/n/Andorra.
Stranger: 21 m beijing china
You: n here stands for neutered as I got hit by a bomb when the civial war broke out.
You: civil
Stranger: what 's ur point?
You: Well, you see
You: I'm actually a cat.
Stranger: oh really?
You: So I have many points.
You: They're called claws.
You: And teeth.
You: And intestines.
Stranger: wow
You: My intestined are very sharp.
Stranger: i am scared
You: So you should be.
You: So, right.
Stranger: u r so wired
You: I'm doing a survey
You: On government and politics.
Stranger: cool
You: Do you mind answering a question for me?
You: Just a yes or no.
Stranger: ok
You: Do you think every country should have an NHS?
You: (National Health Service)
Stranger: Y
You: Good, me too.
Stranger: next Question
You: Oh, that was the only one.
You: I can make some more up if you want.
You: Actually, I have to go now.
You: I need the toilet.
Stranger: bye
You: Bye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Why do I not get itneresting people! D:

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there.
Stranger: from?
You: Ireland.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: what is the time there?
You: 11:49
Stranger: 18:43 here amazing
You: Erm, if it says 18:43, your clock is like six minutes off.
Stranger: what is that mean?
You: Right now your clock should say 18:51.
You: Not 18:45
Stranger: how do you kown?
You: Because I AM GOD
Stranger: and I am Venus
Stranger: you kown where I am?
You: Hang on, I'm gonna work this out.
You: I'm gonna go with the Phillipines.
Stranger: quite close
You: Taiwan?
Stranger: no
Stranger: bigger
You: China?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: your geography is good
Stranger: what do you do ?
You: I'm part of a special taskforce being assembled to infiltrate China and take down the government in a series of assassinations.
You: I'm supposed to kill Hu Jintao.
Stranger: why?
Stranger: you even did not kown him
You: Dude, do you know what the rest of the world thinks of your government?
Stranger: yes
You: Well then, that's why.
Stranger: what?
You: Your government is pretty shit dude.
Stranger: dirty words
You: Yeah, you see, in my country you can say whatever you want. You can even call the government a load of shitheads if you feel like it.
Stranger: not we can not we do not want to
Stranger: in China government trying to let everyone rich what about yours
You: In Ireland, the government is not telling people to kill their babies.
You: OH YEAH, OWNED
Stranger: i don not want to talk about the politics
Stranger: how old are you young?
You: I'm 176. In my country, you can live to 300.
You: You?
Stranger: 176 months ?
You: Years.
You: The government here found out how to make people live extra-long.
Stranger: yeah you are in developed country are you English
You: No, I'm Irish.
Stranger: how did you kown this web
You: Because I've been trying to contact you for some time.
You: There's a camera on the wall behind you.
You: I need you to help me kill Jintao.
You: He's going to launch a missile at the United States.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

EDIT:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: My penis is over 9000 inches!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[BynineB]

Stranger: hiiii
You: I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Stranger: really? o_o
You: You're just so very ravishing.
Stranger: thx
Stranger: Wish i could say the same for you but all i know about you is that you are a Stranger who's name is written in red.
You: You're the most wonderful person I have ever met.
You: We're soulmates, the two of us.
Stranger: so is chelsea cando and ryan tillet
You: Well, I have to go bring lunch to my hubby.
You: Bye-bye.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I love you madly.
Stranger: I'm 69...i like it hardcore.
You: ...
You: I love you hardcore.
You: Very hard, and very core.
Stranger: cutie
You: Yes, honey?
Stranger: So you own a vagina...or a penis?
You: I own both.
You: They can be attached.
Stranger: ooo....finally meet someone like me.
You: X3
You: You're such a cutie.
Stranger: Aww...you know you are
You: Well, gotta go get my husband from work.
You: Bye.
You have disconnected.

XD

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

I call these Teh Winston Chronicles, where I play a half-idiot, half-genius racist called Winston;

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey sup?
You: My name isn't Sup. It's Winston.
Stranger: right...
Stranger: so sup? winston?
You: I said my name isn't Sup, stop calling me that.
Stranger: sup is a short for of "whats up?" ...
Stranger: form*
You: Ah.
You: Well, right now, the sky, the ceiling and my erect 14 inch penis are up.
Stranger: riiiight
You: Oh, and my keyboard stand.
Stranger: dude ur fucking lame
You: NO, I'M WINSTON
Stranger: *sigh*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
You: srsly
Stranger: hey
You: Not hey, "hi".
You: srsly
Stranger: u from?
You: No, I'm not From, I'm Winston.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello,china
You: I'm not China, I'm Winston.
Stranger: I says i am china
Stranger: i am so mad to be asked where i am from?
Stranger: so it can safe my time
You: Ah, I see.
Stranger: and there are so many people is unfriendly to chinese
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE FUCKING CHINESE
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there.
Stranger: yesh?
You: No, I'm not Yesh, I'm Winston.
Stranger: I'm from korea
You: Hello From Korea, I'm Winston.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hey there.
Stranger: so where you from?
You: I'm not From, I'm Winston.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi there
You: I'M NOT THERE I'M WINSTON
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: name?
Stranger: from?
Stranger: Age
Stranger: ?
You: Winston, Ireland, 15.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
You: srsly
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there.
Stranger: how are you
You: Not bad, you?
Stranger: me too
Stranger: what are you doing now
You: Getting head from a monkey.
You: You?
Stranger: I'm watching movie
Stranger: I'm Nina.and you?
You: Winston. Nice to meet you Nina.
Stranger: Good to meet you,too
Stranger: I'm from China
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE FUCKING CHINESE
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there.
Stranger: ?
You: What?
You: You got a fucking problem with the way I talk?
You: Bitch.
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
You: srsly
Stranger: hi
Stranger: how are you?
You: I'm not bad, you?
Stranger: i am fine
Stranger: what is your name?
You: Winston, yours?
Stranger: olga
You: Ooh, where are you from Olga?
Stranger: ukraine
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE FUCKING UKRAINEAN
You have disconnected

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
Stranger: hi
You: Good boy.
You: Or girl.
You: Or transgender
Stranger: Wooof
Stranger: wooof
You: Or, alternatively, dog.
Stranger: waf
Stranger: waaaaaf
You: ROAR
Stranger: woeeef
You: Dude, dogs don't even bark like that.
Stranger: miauw
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE A FUCKING CAT
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
You: srsly
Stranger: hi
You: Good boy.
You: Or girl.
You: Or transgender.
Stranger: fine
Stranger: why this web called omegle?
You: It's a combination of "omega" and "Google".
Stranger: oh i see
Stranger: so,are you a student?
You: Yup.
You: You?
Stranger: me too
You: Cool. What be you studying?
Stranger: high school
Stranger: you?
You: Obstetrics and gynaecology in college.
Stranger: cool
You: Yeah. I get to put my hand inside women.
You: It's pretty awesome.
Stranger: it's that funny? i don't think so.
You: It's my job.
Stranger: i see.
You: So, Stranger, where are you from?
Stranger: taiwan
You: Cool.
You: Name?
Stranger: you?
You: Weird name, but okay You.
Stranger: i said
Stranger: how about you?
Stranger: = =
You: Oh right, Ireland.
Stranger: cool
You: Yeah, I am.
Stranger: you are silly guy
Stranger: ha
You: No, I'm not Silly Guy, I'm WINSTON
You: I AM WINSTON HERE ME ROAR
You: ROAR
You: OL' GODZILLA WAS HOPPING AROUND
You: TOKYO CITY LIKE A BIG PLAYGROUND
You: WHEN SUDDENLY BATMAN BURST FROM THE SHADE
You: AND HIT GODZILLA WITH A BAT GRENADE
You: GOZILLA GOT PISSED AND BEGAN TO ATTACK
You: BUT DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE BLOCKED BY SHAQ
Stranger: ok.stop it
You: WHO PROCEEDED TO OPEN UP A CAN OF SHAQ FU
You: WHEN AARON CARTER CAME OUT OF THE BLUE
You: AND HE STARTED BEATING UP SHAQU
You: OH SHI-
You have disconnected.

EDIT:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
You: srsly
Stranger: HI
You: Good boy.
You: Or girl.
You: Or transgender.
Stranger: hah
Stranger: u are so cute
Stranger: girl
You: Cool.
Stranger: why
Stranger: cus u are a boy
You: Yeah, dicks are so fucking inconvenient.
You: They get hard and then you have to fucking hide them.
You: You lot just tingle.
Stranger: stop saying bad words to me
You: SHIT FUCK CUNT BITCH BASTARD BARBARA STRESIAND WHORE PENIS PROSTITUTE VAGINA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Skroy]

Ladies, gentlemen and those in between. Welcome to the "Ask a person if they are evil show!~". It's simple, all you have to do is start a conversation with the words, "Are you evil?". Here were our three lucky contestants:

Contestant #1:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you evil?
Stranger: mebbe.
Stranger: ask me a personality q.
Stranger: an ill, like, answer evilly or whatevs
You: Do you like lemons or oranges?
Stranger: lemons, they're easier to shove down the throats of my victims.
You: Then you ARE evil
Stranger: =)
You: Every Villain Is Lemons
You: Otherwise known as EVIL
Stranger: ooooh. clevaar
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Well, I could say he/she wasn't aware they were evil.

Contestant #2:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you evil?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: huhuuuu
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

A small chuckle, followed by a disconnection! Oooh...

And now for the most evil contestant of them all; contestant #3:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

How eeeeeeeeevil; I didn't even get a chance to talk to contestant 3.

And there you have it, the three lucky lemons of the day. :3

 

[Not Meowth]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dude, say hi.
Stranger: hi
You: Good boy.
You: Or girl.
You: Or transgender
Stranger: Wooof
Stranger: wooof
You: Or, alternatively, dog.
Stranger: waf
Stranger: waaaaaf
You: ROAR
Stranger: woeeef
You: Dude, dogs don't even bark like that.
Stranger: miauw
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE A FUCKING CAT
You have disconnected.

I laughed so hard at this bit =D

Anyway:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hai dere
Stranger: you has man titties?
You: My name's not dere.
You: Clearly you are a moron.
Stranger: whats ur name then
Stranger: bleh
Stranger: I just like to type like that
Stranger: Doesnt make me a moron
You: Assuming you know the name of a complete stranger is very foolish, Tiffany.
Stranger: And "dere" is slang for there
Stranger: <.<
Stranger: And hai Tiffany
You: SHIT HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME
You: THAT TENT
You: AT THE BOTTOM OF MY GARDEN
You: YOU'RE IN THERE
You: SPYING ON ME
Stranger: Yep
You: AREN'T YOU
Stranger: Yes I am
Stranger: Come over for some sexi time
Stranger: :3
You: That'll be hard considering I just lit it on fire.
You: Sorry Tiffany.
Stranger: Oh snap
Stranger: Didnt you see me run bare naked with my laptop round the back?
You: Yes, and I shot you down like a dog.
You: LIKE A DOG, TIFFANY
Stranger: =[
You: I'm doing desecrating your mangled carcass as we speak.
You: Ignore the word "doing".
You: He pops up in some sentences to piss me off.
You: Like this doing.
Stranger: You lost me at desecrating
You: Sure I did, Tiffany.
You: Suuuuuuuuure I did.
Stranger: Mkai?
You: So Tiffany.
You: Why don't you tell me who you're working for, hm?
You: Is it the CIA?
You: ARE THEY ONTO ME TIFFANY?
Stranger: Nah I made my own company
Stranger: So far
Stranger: Theres 2 people in it
Stranger: Me and my teddy bear
Stranger: ;D
You: OH MY GOODNESS
You: THIS IS MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT...
You: IGOR!
Stranger: O.O
You: HIDE THE TRACTOR BEAM!
You: AND DISMANTLE THE DEATH RAY!
Stranger: Hm wait one thing.
Stranger: Are you for any chance a camwhore
You: Now Tiffany... I wonder if you'd consider joining my syndicate?
You: 10% of the universe will be yours.
You: All yours.
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: I'd rather not
You: You can call it Tiffanyland. Everything there could be made of chocolate or harpsichords or whatever you please.
You: And all I ask is you help me conquer it.
You: What say you, Lord Tiffany the Destroyer?
Stranger: What would I have to do
You: You would be made a commander in my Hamster Army of Indescribable Naughtiness.
Stranger: Sounds like fun
You: You would command the Hamster Footsoldiers to attack Earth and create a diversion.
You: Then I use my Tractor Beam to pull the Sun closer to Earth.
You: Then we retreat to my bunker in the Earth's core as all humans die of skin cancer and sunburn.
You: Then we arise, and start our new world order.
You: Oh, you'll also need to buy suncream so we might survive in our utopia.
You: Interested?
Stranger: Hmm
Stranger: Maybe
You: I must warn you, Commaner Tiffany... you are standing on a trapdoor above a tank of man-eating electric eels. If you refuse, or attempt to move from that spot, it will open, plunging you to your death.
You: I will ask you again.
You: What say you?
Stranger: Ok then
Stranger: I'm in
You: Excellent!
You: I must depart now for my mountain headquarters to begin plotting.
Stranger: One thing tho!!
Stranger: Do you have huge man tits?
You: You must meet me there at the next full moon to discuss our next move. Farewell.
You: And yes, they're like watermelons.
You have disconnected.

Muahahahaha~

 

[Elfin]

...
Stranger: Never learned it. The public school system is terrible, y'know.
You: Egads!
Stranger: And in college, everyone just assumed we already learned that stuff. I was too embarrassed to seek their remedial assassin seminars.
You: Oh, it's okay. They're rather polite chaps. They'd be glad to teach you!
Stranger: Well, it's too late now.
You: Go back to school, then! Further your education in the art of killing people with your bare hands!
Stranger: Oh, I am. But as a graduate student, I don't really have time to be dabbling in undergrad Methods of Murder courses, y'know.
You: That's very sad, Cap'n. Very sad.

We went on to discuss the merits of bribing an assassin's guild with cabbage. And indie bands with Danish accents.
I LOVE THIS WEBSITE!

 

[OrngSumb]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: im lesbian
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Excuse me for asking?

 

[Aobaru]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: Habla espanol?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hablas espanol?
Stranger: solamente un poquito
You: Ah, muy bien.
Stranger: asl?
You: No hablo 'American Sign Language'.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Ninjabait]

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: You sick and twisted bastard! How could you do that to her?! She was just a child!

Stranger: hey

Stranger: she was a secksi child

Stranger: :O

Stranger: 5 & up=legal

You: She's not sexy now, since you impregnated her!

You: AND SHE WAS ONLY THREE!

You: SHE HAD HER WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF HER!

Stranger: she said she was 6!!! i swear!!!

You: That's what they all say.

Stranger: how old are you? *evil laugh*

You: Fifty.

Stranger: *holds up a condom* hullo!

Stranger: :P

You: NO.

You: NO YOU GET OFF MY LAWN.

Stranger: *puts a lil of one foot in ur lawn*

Stranger: HELL no

Stranger: :P

You: You asked for it.

You: *grabs shotgun*

You: *shoots*

Stranger: *runs*

Stranger: hahahahahaha im neo from the matrix

Stranger: u failure!!

You: *shoots again, doesn't miss*

Stranger: *keeps running* hahahahaha i have a prosthetic leg

You: *shoots in the head*

Stranger: i have a plate in my head!!

You: Doesn't matter, it missed the plate and hit around it.=/

You: So, you're dead.

Stranger: I just died. Via Omegle. FML. :P

You: FYL indeed.

Stranger: hahaha

You: Just remember, don't step on old people's lawns!

You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey guess what?

Stranger: What?!

You: You're an idiot.

Your controversial partner has disconnected.

Was it something I said?

 

[Squirrel]

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: Hello, how's the weather?
You: 743, male, the bottom of the ocean. You?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

There were a few other conversations, but I didn't have the attention span to keep them going. You guys are better at that, it seems.

 

[BynineB]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, where is your hometown?
You: I have a giraffe.
You: His name is Raffie.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*sniffle*

You: I have a giraffe.
You: His name is Raffie.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: HEEEEEEEEEYYYY
You: STOP GRABBING MY ASS.
You have disconnected.

Ch'yeah.

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i have looking for u :d
Stranger: was'
You: o rly?
Stranger: jes
Stranger: and now i have found u
Stranger: i mised u so much
Stranger: did u?
You: Awh, I missed you too.
Stranger: :):)
You: Now bend over and take it like a girl.
Stranger: +
Stranger: `?`*
You: TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT ALL
You: IN OUT IN OUT IN OUT SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: r u guy?
You: YAR
You: U?
Stranger: girl
You: Nice.
You: Where in the world are you?
Stranger: haha
Stranger: israel
Stranger: nd u?
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE FUCKING JEWISH

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im jerking off
You: IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hey there.
Stranger: how is your life going?
You: Pretty shit. I burned the body but I can't help but feel I forgot something.
Stranger: weapon?
You: OH SHI-
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello i'm male and 17
You: Hello, I'm 27, a cop, tracing your IP and preparing to charge you with solicitation.
Stranger: really
You: Officers will be visiting your house tomorrow morning.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hey there.
Stranger: are you another /b/tard?
You: No. I have some /b/ leanings but I'm mostly a neo-elitist, LeVayan Satanid/Hindu-influenced pseudo-scientific atheist.
You: Satanic*
Stranger: >_>
You: I get that a lot.
Stranger: it sounds like you're from /b/
You: Don't worry, I'm not /b/.
Stranger: Oh really
You: Yes.
You: Have you ever met a /b/tard who types this well?
Stranger: while /b/ is down, what do you call /gif/?
Stranger: yes
You: I don't know what you're talking aboujt.
Stranger: aboujt???
Stranger: that proves it
You: about*
You: You're clearly an idiot if you think every misspelling is prove of /b/tardedness.
Stranger: then how do you know about /b/?
You: I know some /b/tards and I read ED.
You: Why do you have to be so paranoid? Can't you just enjoy a nice conversation?
Stranger: because, anonymous public chat rooms are filled with many many /b/tards
You: Yes, but I am not one of them my /b/-troubled friend.
You: Can't we just have a nice chat, as the creators of Omegle intended?
Stranger: i guess. so what are you up to?
You: IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hey
Stranger: how u doin
Stranger: ?
You: My name's not Doin, it's Winston.
Stranger: hh
Stranger: asl
You: No, Winston.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Charizard Morph]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi, where is your hometown?
You: I have a giraffe.
You: His name is Raffie.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

*sniffle*

You: I have a giraffe.
You: His name is Raffie.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: HEEEEEEEEEYYYY
You: STOP GRABBING MY ASS.
You have disconnected.

Ch'yeah.

RAFIES!! HOLEY CRAP! I CALL ALL GIRAFFES RAFIES, I EVEN CALL GIRAFARIG RAFIE, I LOVE RAFIES!!!.

Okay, i'm good.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi, I have an evil plot to take over the world, and I’m recruiting minions, you want to help?

You: You get paid in cash and cookies.
Stranger: yessssss
You:
Good, we’re starting in Australia on Thursday, the plane tickets will arrive on Wednesday. After Australia we’re going to greenland, Iceland, finland, and all of the other countries that end in ‘land’.
Stranger: why landddd
You: I felt like it.
You: See...
You: *story time*
You: I am an experiment conductted by the government.
You: I escaped after months of torturous excercises.
Stranger: what a tragedyyy...it must have been the freemasons
You: and now live in the basement of some alien hunters.
You: I wish to extract my revenge on the world now.
You: But i need more help.
Stranger: ill join you only if we listen to reggae as we take over the world..yeaa
You: Which would be the twelve random people i have recruited from this website.
You: Sure, listen to whatever you want.
Stranger: mmmm...but i dont like being number 2...out of twelve.....mmmi like beig number one
Stranger: its certain that you will want to be number 1
You: Sorry, my right hand person would have to stage a death match with you if you tried to steal his position.
You: He has a lazer beam.
You: It honestly terrifies me.
Stranger: no no no i want your position....i think ima start my own teamm
You: Hmmm.
Stranger: hmmmm
You: YOU WILL BOW TO TEAM CHARLIE DAMNIT!!
You: Charlie is my nickname.
You: the alien hunters gave it to me.
Stranger: NOOOOOO!!!! TEAMMMM RASTAAAAA!! WILL PREVAILL!!
You: NEVER!!
You: Good minion hunting though.
Stranger: charlie like charlie brown or like charlies from nam
You: NEVER NEVER NEVER MUHAHAHAHA!!!!
You: Charlie as in charlotte.
You: Or Charizard Morph.
Stranger: i know something you dont know
You: OOhhhh, what?
You: hehehe.
Stranger: i have rerecruited your men..now their mineeeee!!
You: NOOOOOO!!!!
You: Wait...
Stranger: i offered money and cookies with milk
You: I live in a basement with alien nerds, who think i'm some sort of god.
Stranger: yes milk something you did not include
You: And i make them cookies all the time.
You: I PAY THE BILLS DAMNIT!
You: THEY HAVE A FUNHOUSE!
Stranger: bring them to my basemeenttttt!!!!
You: I'M AN EXHIBIT!!
You: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *NEVER ENDING NEVER* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Stranger: i ammm jaahh,jesus,allah,budhaa!! to themmm i amm above god!!!
You: ..........................................................................................
You: NO.
You: Besides, you don't have fried chicken.
You: muhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa
Stranger: i have cool aid
You: aaaahhhhh, but not coffee.
You: And root beer.
Stranger: dammittt
You: and normal beer.
Stranger: i have ganjaaaa me man
You: which is the reason they haven't thought to get paid fore sending me back to the government.
You: Well, i must go recruite more minions, as i'm sure you must also.
Stranger: yes yes yes
You: Remember, team charlie shall prevail.
Stranger: RASTAAAAA
You: goodbye, evil rival.
Stranger: i will see you int he battleefielddd
You: GGGGRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGG *laser beam attack force*

DO NOT JOIN TEAM RASTA, YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!
And i also have cake.

 

[Not Meowth]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: okay ...i go to pee
You: NOT IN HERE YOU DIRTY SHIT
Stranger: :o
You: EW YOU PISSED ALL OVER EVERYWHERE
Stranger: Um. Suck it, a-hole.
You: THE TV
You: YOU PISSED ON IT
You: THE COFFEE TABLE
You: YOU PISSED ON IT
Stranger: do you have a problem with your mother?
You: THE KAZOO
You: GUESS WHAT
Stranger: seriously
You: YOU PISSED ON THAT TOO
Stranger: When did you first see symptoms?
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUCK
Stranger: whys that
Stranger: I know you are
You: YOU EVEN PISSED ON THE ANTEATER
Stranger: I dont have da skillz
You: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF A FUCKING ANTEATER CAME AND PISSED ON YOU
Stranger: hahaha
You: AND I DON'T MEAN CAME IS IN EJACULATED ON YOU, I MEAN HE JUST WALKED UP AND PISSED.
Stranger: what pure evil is?
You: YOU'D BE FUCKING PISSED OFF!
You: SO WHY DO IT TO HIM
You: ASS
Stranger: asses too
You: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT
Stranger: hi
You: THE FUCKING GAZEBO
You: YOU PISSED ON IT
Stranger: THE COFFEE TABLE
You: OH MY GOD YOU'RE PISSING ON THE COFFEE TABLE AGAIN?!
Stranger: damn
You: AREN'T YOU EMPTY YET FOR FUCK'S SAKE
Stranger: yourself?
You: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DRINK, THE ATLANTIC?
Stranger: Yes with my magical holographic figure generator
You: I'M NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED WITH YOU MISTER
Stranger: ah......
You: NOW GO PUT YOUR DIAPER BACK ON
Stranger: pedobear
You: YOU PISSED ON PEDOBEAR?
You: YOU
Stranger: man
You: GROSS
You: LITTLE
You: SHIT
Stranger: but interests
Stranger: gay me?
You: LOOK PEDOBEAR GOT PISS ALL OVER HIM
You: YOU TWAT
Stranger: never did it there
You: I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING PISS ON ME. LATER PRICK
You have disconnected.

That'll learn you to give me unnecessary information >D
(No, I don't know why I suddenly start using American words like "ass" and "diaper" on Omegle, either.)