Omegle

[Vriska Serket]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Earth!
You: Hello Mr. Penguin.
Stranger: Oh awkward
Stranger: How did you know it was me
You: I've been WATCHING YOU.
You: MR. PENGUIN.
Stranger: Damn
Stranger: Again?
You: What
Stranger: Restraining orders mean nothing any more
You: How did you know about the first time?
Stranger: I have my sources
You: Damn.
Stranger: RUN AWAY
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I am the chief who dares enter my teepee
You: Hello Mr. Penguin.
You: When did you get promoted to chief, Mr. Penguin?
Stranger: i believe he lives two teepees down
You: No, you are sadly mistaken.
Stranger: the chief is never mistaken
You: I am afraid that I know for a fact that your name is Mr. Penguin.
Stranger: my name is chief wakala
You: And I still have my doubts that you were promoted to chief.
Stranger: doubt whatever you wish stranger
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello Mr. Penguin.
Stranger: what time is it?
You: PARTY TIME!
Stranger: AWESOME
Stranger: LETS DANCE
You: No, see, it's party time in MY timezone. In YOUR timezone it's "slave away at work for most of your day" time.
You: I know, timezones, lame right?
Stranger: hahaha. . LOL. . but it's SUNDAY.
You: I mean, who needs them?
You: Also it's still "slave away at work for most of your day" time, regardless of the day.
You: Get back to work.
You have disconnected.

You: Hello Mr. Penguin.
Stranger: tell me a bedtime story =)
You: There were over a trillion gazillion billion people living in the universe.
You: And after a while they all died and the universe exploded.
Stranger: okay....
You: The end.
Stranger: =o
Stranger: that was sucky...
Stranger: FAIL!
You: Screw you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: Hello Mr. Penguin.
Stranger: father???
You: Son?!?!
Stranger: its you my father!!
You: :'D
Stranger: ive been looking for you
You: So have I.
Stranger: where are you father
You: In space.
Stranger: i thought you were at susans house
Stranger: you lier!!!
You: Being attacked by aliens.
Stranger: im gonna tell mom
You: Oh please don't do that son.
Stranger: shess really gonna be mad
You: Please.
Stranger: ok dad
Stranger: but say sorry
You: I'll give you lots of candy when I get home okay?
You: And sorry.
Stranger: really!!
Stranger: i love candy
You: I know you do, son. Daddy's got some unfinished business to take care of.
You: Bye, son. I love you.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: love you too
You have disconnected.

 

[Esque]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi, 18/m/eur
You: ...
You: O____________o
Stranger: :)
You: ?
Stranger: your really looking ugly
Stranger: your smilie
You: ...
You have disconnected.

 

[Not Meowth]

Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
Stranger: 14 f aust
You: Ok.
You: Hi.
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: just so u no im ...kinda horny ...i need sex
You: I'm kinda not. Sorry.
Stranger: imm just sayin!
Stranger: u probs have a small cock anyway
You: Yep. Tiny.
Stranger: thats really a shame
You: Eh.
Stranger: small cock
Stranger: faggot
Stranger: small cock
You: Yup, that's me.
Stranger: thats a shame'
You: You've said.
Stranger: i like big big cock :D
You: Everyone does apparently. Guess I'm dying a virgin.
You: Oh well.
Stranger: mm thats a shame thenn...can i have ur mobile number? !
You: For what purpose?
Stranger: ill send u pics and vids of me and my pussy
You: No, I'm quite alright thank you.
Stranger: ur loss then u lil bitch
You: I guess!
Stranger: ur a faggot fucker u gunna get ur head kicked in
You: Are you actually horny or just trolling?
Stranger: idkk g2g catch babe i really love you...and wanted ur cock inside me
You: Yeah, too bad.
Stranger: FUCKOFF
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Well they were clearly batshit c:

Stranger: favorite porn star?
You: Jesus.
You: Have you ever seen that porno with the leper woman and Jesus comes round to fix her leprosy and they just end up doing it instead?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Asl
You: HAAAAAA, MY LITTLE BEAUTIES
NEEEEEEOWduggaduggaduggaNEEEEEOWduggaduggadugga
QUICK GET SOME PEAS AS A HOSTAGE
OHH, HE'S GOT A CARROT
WALK AWAY FROM THE CARROT
DROP THE CARROT
STOP
WAHEY
WHOO
Stranger: What
You: I /said/
You: HAAAAAA, MY LITTLE BEAUTIES
NEEEEEEOWduggaduggaduggaNEEEEEOWduggaduggadugga
QUICK GET SOME PEAS AS A HOSTAGE
OHH, HE'S GOT A CARROT
WALK AWAY FROM THE CARROT
DROP THE CARROT
STOP
WAHEY
WHOO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: :)
You: Daddy, is that you?!
Stranger: yes honey
You: Where have you been the last 31 years?
Stranger: or just yes... u are maybe a guy?
Stranger: haha
You: Mommy missed you.
Stranger: living the dream..
You: And then she died.
Stranger: how?
You: Of rabies.
You: In the face.
Stranger: are u okay?
Stranger: do u need more money?
You: Well, I sold the hamster and made £23,000,789 and 42 pence. But we still all starved to death.
Stranger: poor mommy
Stranger: and poor u
You: So I could use about another 800 Danish kroner.
Stranger: hahahahah, im living the dream in sweden
Stranger: just so u know
You: Come back here daddy, we need you D':
Stranger: im not that far away... u coem
Stranger: come
You: Your 84 and a half children need their father.
You: But we're in Sri Lanka.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: haha
You: How can we get to Sweden?
Stranger: im not 84?
Stranger: im 52
Stranger: 42*
Stranger: good age
You: No, not you're, your.
You: You have 84 and a half children
Stranger: i send u some money!
You: And they miss you
You: OK here's our address
Stranger: hahah i see
You: Box on the side of the road
Some city in Sri Lanka
Sri Lanka
Stranger: then i have been working really hard...
You: What job are you doing in Sweden? Are you still a man ehore?
You: *whore
Stranger: but honey, (i think u ara a girl)
Stranger: yes, i thought that was a secret between me and mommy...
You: You don't even know your own child's gender?!
Stranger: wno... who are u
Stranger: ?
You: It's Jennifer
You: Your son
Stranger: oh... cool
Stranger: im maria, your father
You: Your 83 and a half daughters are all called Jennifer too.
You: Were you and mummy retarded, daddy?
Stranger: hahahha shut up
You: Sorry
You: Am I going to get a spanking?
Stranger: no...
You: Or are you going to run me over in the car like you used to do when I misbehaved?
Stranger: i cant, we talking on the internet...
You: That's true.
You: Plus you probably don't want to do it any more after last time
Stranger: yes, wait until i come to sri lanka..
You: When the police took you away
You: And then you went missing for 31 years
Stranger: im sorry jennifer.. i really am
You: That's ok daddy.
Stranger: good
Stranger: how is school?
You: We couldn't afford school. We had to be sold into child slavery
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Khaiir
Stranger: hello
You: Ekhai ezhka ozhekh
Stranger: ja.
You: Anhej ijau vo wata. Xazi-ir komini?
Stranger: że co fakamaka?!
You: Zaref gadaik
You: Íkedóai úkhmenyi
Stranger: sam umyj ryj
You: Ejjek ejjajgu zheki ojkefyeh Noel Edmonds.
Stranger: ejek jajek srajek grajek
You: Fvaw hjoi ggujem
You: Tatutwi
Stranger: tatu
You: Tatuto a o-na
Stranger: no ja ogólnie myślę że nie no ale jak chcesz..
You: Khaizedjék ífegúdwe!
You: Tharkákswe
Stranger: digidongi panga taczo paczanga
You: Hju júku ó kkaikha
Stranger: fajnie
You: Parhjoiúkhmenyi
Stranger: do u know english or somethin?
You: Farfazhwa
You: Minkuki o-twese úto útatu
Stranger: ok.
Stranger: so
Stranger: bye bye then ;) ;**
You: Bye.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: where?
You: Here.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[spaekle]

Just spent a good hour or so on this site out of boredom.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I....
Stranger: Just...
Stranger: L
Stranger: o
Stranger: s
Stranger: The
Stranger: t
Stranger: G
Stranger: a
Stranger: m
Stranger: e
You: WELL SHIT
Stranger: : D
You: now what am I going to do :[
Stranger: I dont know :/
You: I mean, that was the one game I thought I'd never lose
You: I have terrible luck with games, you see
You: I think it all goes back to a particularly traumatizing game of strip poker
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: and howd that go?
You: ...I didn't know poker chips could be used that way
Stranger: Ew..
Stranger: Lol..
Stranger: Well...
Stranger: I am bored of this site for now..
Stranger: Goodnight!
You: Night!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: HEY THERE SAILOR
Stranger: asl
You: HONEY, I'M WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU ;)
Stranger: girl?
You: :D
Stranger: tell me plz
You: Why don't you tell me how you got so fine?
Stranger: o you no
You: STRANGER'S LIKE A MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CAN'T KEEP OUT GOT ME SINGIN LIKE NA NA NA NA EVERYDAY
You: ♪
Stranger: got pics?
You: http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/06/12/obese_lead_wideweb__470x337,0.jpg
Stranger: ?
You: I'M THAT PERSON IN THE BACKGROUND
Stranger: the guy
You: YOU CAN'T BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT NOW CAN YOU
You: ;)
Stranger: ya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hey hey hey
You: COKE OR PEPSI
Stranger: PEPSI BITCH
You: YOU'VE GOT A GOOD HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, SON
Stranger: I
Stranger: AM
Stranger: A
Stranger: GIRL
Stranger: BUT
Stranger: THANKS
Stranger: :D
You: ALL THE SAME, YOU ARE ACCEPTABLE TO ME
Stranger: ASL?
You: WELL NOW YOU'VE GONE AND MESSED IT UP
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i have huge boobs
You: i have a huge dick
Stranger: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Well that was uneventful. :[

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: where are you from?
You: MY MOM'S VAGINA
Stranger: vagina?
Stranger: hm....
Stranger: I don;t know where
You: YEAH, THE THING YOU'VE NEVER SEEN
Stranger: yeah..
You: HAHAHAHAHA I GOT YOU GOOD THERE DIDN'T I
Stranger: how old?
Stranger: your age
You: FORTY-SEVEN
Stranger: wow.
Stranger: you are so older than I think
You: I AM LOOKING FOR HAPPY FUN TIME
Stranger: zzzz
Stranger: kkk
You: BUTT SEX
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

^ That probaby won't be funny at all when I reread it after I've had sleep. Actually, I doubt any of these will be. Oh well.

 

[Not Meowth]

ohay thread nobody cares about any more here's a huge Omegle log dump

Stranger: This is Paul from Omegle. We have received multiple complaints of inappropriate, lewd behaviour traced to your IP address. Your internet service provider will be alerted within the next 24 hours.

Paul

1(802)380-4064
Omegle Inc.
You: Hi Paul.
You: How are you?
Stranger: I'm having a nice day actually
You: That's good to hear.
Stranger: Yea we will have Your State sheriff contact you
You: Good luck with that, since I'm not American. :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Si j'ai dit que tu as un corps beau, tenirais-vous ce contre moi?
Stranger: I don't speak French. >: Sorry man.
You: Nor do I.
Stranger: ... You are my new hero, Stranger.
Stranger: Let us wed.
You: Sounds good.
Stranger: Why don't you look at me when we make love?
You: Because I don't have eyes.
Stranger: Oh, huh, right..
Stranger: ... This marriage is failing.
You: It is.
You: Let's kill one another so we don't need to go through a harrowing divorce.
Stranger: But I don't want to die.
You: Nor do I. But you must make sacrifices in a relationship.
Stranger: Human sacrifices?
You: Exactly.
Stranger: Can't we just adopt children and then put them through the pain of divorced parents?
You: That's a tempting proposition.
Stranger: They might kill themselves.
You: Would we be held responsible?
Stranger: Nope.
You: Then I don't see a problem.
Stranger: I'll go get the car..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Si j'ai dit que tu as un corps beau, tenirais-vous ce contre moi?
Stranger: destroy all beaners.
You: Quoi?
Stranger: i hate you mexicans.
Stranger: go eat a taco and choke on it.
You: Je ne suis pas Mexicain
You: Je suis Anglais
Stranger: how often do you have diahrea
Stranger: probably everyday
Stranger: BELL PEPERS SENOR
You: Pas souvent
Stranger: go fuck yourself.
Stranger: get out of our country.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: asl?
You: There's a worm at the bottom of the garden
You: And his name is Wiggly Woo
Stranger: old u ?
You: There's a worm at the bottom of the garden
You: And all that he can do
You: Is wiggle all night
You: And wiggle all day
You: There's a worm at the bottom of the garden
You: And his name is Wiggly
You: Wig-wig-wigg-guh-lee
You: Wig-wig-wig-guh-loo
You: *lee
You: Woo-ooo-ooo!
Stranger: yes yes yes. whatever, i dont understand
You: ONE MORE TIME
You: There's a worm at the bottom of-
You: Oh look a nectarine
Stranger: oh
You: Yum
Stranger: ngomong apa sih lo ?
You: Over there.
Stranger: bego
You: Yes, there. Next to the gazebo.
Stranger: orang indonesia aja juga ! so inggris, inggris lu berantakan !
You: Well, try pushing it a few times.
Stranger: lu bloon banget sih !
You: Move the camel out the way first.
Stranger: off sono lu, jangan ngobrol sama gue !
You: He did what?
Stranger: what what ! muka lu kayak kawat
You: All over your shoes?!
Stranger: converse all star
You: Punch him in the giblets
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: hi
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: asl
Stranger: 19 m
Stranger: nice
You: American Sign Language, nineteen metres?
You: I don't get it.
Stranger: its nice
You: Yes.
You: Nineteen metres is very nice
You: Possibly my favourite distance.
Stranger: the symbol is quite nice
Stranger: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
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You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
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You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
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You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
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You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: no
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)
Stranger: hey pls stop
You: (｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡) (｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)
(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡ ◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)
(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡ ◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)(｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: I can't
You: I'm addicted
You: I want to stop
You: But I just can't
You: I JUST CAN'T
You: It's an illness
Stranger: ok then continue:)
Stranger: lol
You: But I don't want to
You: I want to get help
Stranger: byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Stranger: tell
You: I don't want to be like this any more
You: Going on the game to buy more goddamn (｡◕‿‿◕｡)s
Stranger: how can i help u
You: I need money
You: 567645654 Albanian leks
Stranger: ahhhhh
You: To buy a (｡◕‿‿◕｡)
You: Then tomorrow I'll quit
You: I promise
You: No more
You: Well maybe just one more
Stranger: ok
You: Just one in the morning each day and
Stranger: fuck offff
You: Oh god what's happened
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I'm having trouble beating the final boss of Castlevania. Could you summon a meteor to destroy Dracula but somehow leave Simon Belmont unharmed for me?
Stranger: no
You: Why not? D:
Stranger: o_o
Stranger: i can't man
Stranger: sorry
You: Awww.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: any thing i could do for you ?
You: You spelt "miserable little pile of secrets" wrong
Stranger: sorry again
You: You should be.
You have disconnected.

You: I'm having trouble beating the final boss of Castlevania. Could you summon a meteor to destroy Dracula but somehow leave Simon Belmont unharmed for me?
Stranger: triforce
You: Fail.
You have disconnected.

You: I'm having trouble beating the final boss of Castlevania. Could you summon a meteor to destroy Dracula but somehow leave Simon Belmont unharmed for me?
Stranger: i dont play pokemon
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

DOES NO-ONE ON THIS SITE PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES >:(

You: Hi.
Stranger: hello
Stranger: Iam aman From india
Stranger: and u???
You: I'm a snail
Stranger: from??
You: The garden
Stranger: maleor female
You: Hermaphrodite
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: ™
Stranger: fucking jew
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Oy, deez meshuggenah goys don't like za trademarks already? :l

You: Hi
Stranger: heyy im 18 f usa my names Katie..and im looking for a girl interested in my wedgie fetish ;)
You: Weegie fetish?!
Stranger: yes..
You: THAT'S MAMMA WEEGIE FETISH TO YOU MARIO *WHEEZE*
You have disconnected.

You: The end of my tongue hurts. D:
Stranger: hey
Stranger: 18 m usa
You: Good for you.
Stranger: do u like phone sex?
You: I've never had sex with a phone, you creep.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi
Stranger: suck mah penis???
You: Okay
You: Let me just take my false teeth out
Stranger: its 2 inches is that okay?
Stranger: no leave them in
Stranger: i like it rough
You: Yes, I'm only 2'3" high
Stranger: fucking midget
You: It's actually quite substantial
Stranger: but at least you wont have to kneel down
Stranger: is your penis normal size or proportionate to the rest of your body?
You: I don't have a penis
You: It was bitten off by a badger
Stranger: fucking badgers!!!
You: I KNOW
You: I SHOULD STAMP ON THEIR FACES
You: WITH MY FEET
You: MY MIDGET FEET.
Stranger: one of them ate my fetus
You: BASTARD.
Stranger: yeah i know
You: Let's kill it.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: but first suck me
You: There's no time god damnit the badger's gonna get away
Stranger: hurry im about to blow!
You: KABOOM
You have disconnected.

You: Make toast
Eat toast
Make more toast
Give toast to ducks
Give toast to dogs
Give toast to the elderly
Throw toast at trees
Nail toast to fences
Stranger: thumbs up :)
You: Yes
Stranger: thats the most beautiful poem ive ever heard.....
You: It's the most beautiful one I've ever written.
Stranger: :)
Stranger: asl?
You: 18 m UK.
Stranger: 19 m los angeles
You: Hello.
You: Do you think I should publish my poem?
You: I call it "101 Things To Do With Toast".
Stranger: YES! before someone else do
Stranger: does
You: Ok then, I will.
You: Thanks.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: so be honest with me. are americans dumbasses?
You: Do you like the title?
Stranger: hmmm i think it should be ode to toast
Stranger: or maybe a toast to toast
You: The deceptively high number in the title is not an assessment of the number of suggestions for toast-related activities the poem explores, but more of a metaphor for man's unrealistically high expectations of menial things, which though initially exciting are soon dashed by the cold, hard rock of reality.
Stranger: dude thats so deep O_O
You: Thank you.
You: I thought so.
Stranger: haha
You: The toast itself is an analogy for bread inserted into a small kitchen appliance, heating it until it becomes warm, brown and crispy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: Hello.
You: Hi honey, I'm home!
Stranger: Good, I missed you.
Stranger: Your son wrecked the kitchen while you were at work.
You: That little rascal. I'll have to decapitate him later.
You: Is dinner on?
Stranger: Awww, that will be the third one this month.
Stranger: Not yet. We're having hamburgers.
You: Yes, well you can't be lax with discipline or these children will walk all over you.
Stranger: I suppose...
You: *slaps you across the face* YOU BITCH! YOU KNOW I'M A HINDU!
Stranger: Oh? I apologize. It slipped my mind.
You: AND THAT THE WORD "HAMBURGERS" SEND ME INTO AN UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE!
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: I must have forgotten.
You: MAKING ME UNABLE TO USE THE VERB "TO SEND" IN THE PRESENT TENSE
You: Oh well, no harm done.
Stranger: Very well.
Stranger: We can go out to eat then.
You: The oddest thing happened at work today.
Stranger: Oh? Did Johnny light the desk on fire again?
You: A meteor fell from the sky and plowed through my office building. The whole block went up in flames, and thousands of people were killed in the collision and ensuing chaos.
You: You should have seen the secretary's face smeared all across the wall!
Stranger: That can't be good.
Stranger: She was a whore anyway.
You: Yes, sorry I slept with her all those times, but you know.
Stranger: That's why I slept with your brother.
You: I thought the dog did that?
Stranger: What? Of course not.
Stranger: We don't have a dog.
You: Then what's that in the corner?
Stranger: Your daughter.
You: Why is she so... so... /hairy?/
Stranger: Takes after you.
You: Oh yes, I was forgetting I'm a gorilla.
You: These things do just slip your mind all the time.
Stranger: Don't be to hard on yourself, dearie.
Stranger: *too
You: Yes, you're right. I'm not a gorilla.
Stranger: You're British.
You: I'm Donkey Kong, the most famous gorilla who isn't King Kong.
You: That too.
Stranger: It's on like Donkey Kong.
You: I wondered where all these barrels were rolling from.
You: Is Jumpman going to appear in a minute?
Stranger: Yes.
You: Has he changed his name to "Mario" yet?
Stranger: Shhhhh. He doesn't know yet.
You: What about his brother, Slightlyhigherjumpman?
Stranger: Luigi?
You: Yes, him.
Stranger: No.
Stranger: By the by, our son called from college. He wanted to announce he's gay.
You: I know, I was talking to Vengeful God earlier and he's really pissed off about it.
Stranger: I already told him I was okay with it.
Stranger: You can't say you're not okay with it, it will contradict me.
You: Well, fine. If I must.
Stranger: And then I'll look bad.
Stranger: Good.
You: But if our daughter turns out a lesbian you have to let me leave an awkward silence before coming to terms with it.
Stranger: Okay.
Stranger: That is if she can get anyone.
You: She probably can't. She's most monstrously ugly.
Stranger: It's her nose.
You: Probably all those beatings to the face I gave her.
Stranger: Yes.
You: ...ah, there's that good-for-nothing son of ours. Pass my disemboweling spoon.
Stranger: You'd think she was French the way she runs from you all the time.
Stranger: Oh so sorry. I threw it out.
You: Oh, you cloth-eared old bint.
Stranger: You twat.
You: You curmugeon.
Stranger: Come again?
You: Don't mind if I do.
Stranger: You are most certainly not a BAMF. I should of married our neighbor.
You: You did. I'm not quite sure what you're doing here, not-spouse.
Stranger: Yes, I ment re-marry. I divorced him in 2008.
Stranger: *meant
You: Oh, what went wrong?
Stranger: He was a bit of a cannibal.
You: So that's where your legs went.
Stranger: Yes.
You: You told me you lost those in a poker game.
Stranger: I was playing poker when it happened.
You: Makes sense.
Stranger: Where do we live again, dearest?
You: On a small sock in a paper bag underneath Noel Edmonds' bed.
Stranger: Noel Edmond is?
You: Noel Edmonds is Noel Edmonds.
You: The fellow whose bed we live on a sock in a paper bag under.
Stranger: Is he British? Or French?
You: British.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Mum, what's for breakfast?
Stranger: My penis.
You: I want ice cream.
Stranger: No. You'll ruin your dinner.
You: ICE CREAM.
Stranger: MUM SAYS NO.
You: FUCK YOU YOU SLUT, GET ME MY ICE CREAM
Stranger: NO. NOW I'M GONNA BEAT YOU.
You: OH NO.
Stranger: THAT'S RIGHT! DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO MUM LIKE THAT AGAIN!
You: I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS SHIT FROM YOU. I'M 34 YEARS OLD. *gets own ice cream from freezer*
Stranger: NO! YOU WILL OBEY ME! MY HOUSE MY RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! *shoots him in leg*
You: THEN I'LL GO NEXT DOOR. *grabs hammer and begins knocking through wall*
You: ALSO STOP SHOOTING MY LEGS. I NEED THOSE FOR WALKING.
Stranger: NO YOU WON'T! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME LOOK CRAZY!
Stranger: *bashes him on head with hammer*
You: GIVE ME MY HAMMER BACK.
Stranger: NO! NOT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!
You: I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THE EQUIPMENT I USED TO BREAK INTO THE HARDWARE STORE TO STEAL THAT
Stranger: WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD OF THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU STARTED GETTING AN ATTITUDE WITH YOUR MUM.
You: AND I LIKE MY ACT TO BE BROKEN INTO FRAGMENTS AND SCATTERED OVER A WIDE AREA. SO THERE.
Stranger: WELL I DON'T LIKE THAT. AND WHAT I SAY GOES. SINCE IT'S MY HOUSE. YOU LAZY BUM!!!!!
You: IT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE. YOU STOLE IT FROM THE OLD COUPLE WHO LIVED HERE BEFORE YOU HIT THEM WITH A BASEBALL BAT.
You: I LIKED LIVING IN THE SEWERS, BUT NOOOOOO.
Stranger: WELL, IF YOU LIKE THE SEWER SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK! NOBODY IS MAKING YOU STAY! YOU AND YOUR ICE CREAM CAN GO TO THE SEWER WITH ALL THE DIRTY RATS.
You: BUT THEN WHO WILL CARE FOR SCHMENDRIK? HER GOUT GROWS EVER PAINFUL.
You: AND YOU HAVE NO HANDS.
Stranger: SO WHAT?
Stranger: SCHMENDIRK CAN DIE.
Stranger: OR YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU!
You: HOW AM I GOING TO FIT A FULLY-GROWN CAMEL DOWN THE SEWERS?
Stranger: YOU FIGURE THAT OUT! THINK. USE YOUR BRAIN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!!!!
You: PERHAPS IF YOU DIDN'T BEAT ME WITH SPOONS EVERY MORNING AS A CHILD I'D BE ABLE TO!
Stranger: WELL, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ICE CREAM EVERY MORNING THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BEAT YOU! AGAIN, THINK!
You: YOU'RE A CRUEL, ABUSIVE MONSTER. I'M GOING AND I'M TAKING SCHMENDRIK WITH ME.
You: SHE WILL PLY HER TRADE AS A PROSTITUTE UNTIL WE CAN CURE HER GOUT, AND THEN WE WILL BECOME TRAVELLING ACROBATS.
Stranger: LEAVE! I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T NEED ANYONE! ALL I NEED IS A GOOD CARDBOARD BOX! YOU DO THAT. SHE WILL NEVER MAKE AS MUCH MONEY ON THE STREETS AS ME!
Stranger: GOOD LUCK!!!!
You: SCHMENDRIK WILL MAKE A WONDERFUL HARLOT. AND I A FANTASTIC PIMP. JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE, MOTHER! *DOORSLAM*
You have disconnected.

You: Why the fuck is my room so hot D:
Stranger: it's cause you're talking to me.
Stranger: ;D
You: I'll disconnect then, it's like a fucking oven in here.
You have disconnected.

You: I have holes in my socks.
Stranger: Hobo?
You: Yes
Stranger: With a computer what a fial
Stranger: Fail
You: I found it in a dustbin
Stranger: And u have internet
You: Yes
You: I found that in there too.
Stranger: Ur a very up class hobo
You: Thank you.
You: Spare any change?
Stranger: How are u going to recharge
You: Hobo magic.
Stranger: Hobos have magic?
You: Sure they do.
Stranger: WTF I want to be a hobo
You: Then start taking drugs or something.
Stranger: But I'm diabetic they would kill me no dousr
Stranger: Doudt
You: Aw, that sucks.
You: Drugs are what got me into hoboing.
You: Hell, I'm so high right now I think I'm a magic hobo!
Stranger: Well then that explains this odd conversation
You: It does.
Stranger: What got u so high
You: Expired condensed milk.
You: With weed in.
Stranger: My favorite is cat pee
You: Cat pee is awesome.
You: Especially with heroin.
Stranger: What mixture
You: 1 part cat pee to 500 parts heroin.
Stranger: Wow that's ummm well awsome
You: And if you can't get hold of cat pee just substitute it with heroin.
Stranger: So then it would be 501 parts heroin
You: Exactly.
Stranger: That's sounds like Saturday morning
You: ohshit the cops
You have disconnected.

You: VAGINA
Stranger: sup
Stranger: i love it!
You: o rly
Stranger: who doesnt!?
You: Straight women, gay men and asexuals
Stranger: what?
Stranger: ohh nvm haha
You: Ok
You: I have holes in my socks.
Stranger: thats hot
Stranger: m or f?
You: Both.
Stranger: fag
You: No thanks, I don't smoke.
Stranger: wow you gay
You: Yes, I'm very happy thank you.
Stranger: haha suckerrr
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Also I'll just leave this here.

 

[Cap'n Sofa]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl ?
You: Will you disconnect if I'm male?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I knew he would. I knew it!

I KNEW IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

[Mewtwo]

You: CHEEZCAKE!!!
Stranger: tascukNGEF
Stranger: FUCK OFF NOW
You: YOU
You: GO FUCK URSELF BITCH
Stranger: i can't

(what has happened here... if you know me well enough, this conversation is a surprise :sweatdrop:)

You: CHEEZCAKE!!
Stranger: nl;h;kl
You: gflhkne65klyuhjlr6
Stranger: cgfxsskjlg;
You: fgn kj54ynow54j67
Stranger: gsjy;knuybl/k'pou
You: tdmngkjt5yhb
Stranger: u russia?
You: no
Stranger: hahahah u stupid
You: FUCK URSELF
Stranger: hahhahahaa
You: lol
You: ?
You: ?
Stranger: now where are u
You: NOWHERE!!!!!!!
Stranger: ???
You: im floating in nooooooothingness~
Stranger: in the sky???
Stranger: ghost???
You: yes and imma haunt you for the rest of ur liiiffee!!
Stranger: can i see u?
You: only when i want to be seen
Stranger: how
You: i decide when i want to be seen and then ppl see me thats how
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

(again... :sweatdrop:)

 

[Cypher FDP]

This is the best thread ever.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: hi
Stranger: from?
You: The inner regions of your mind.
You: I am only a hallucination.
Stranger: yea i see :D
You: By the way, it's getting rather cluttered in here.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

She was taken in to an Asylum, presumably.

You: Hello~
Stranger: yo
Stranger: fuck gook
Stranger: ugly
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: fuckin poor immigrant
Stranger: never come to aus
Stranger: gook
Stranger: fuck ur mom
Stranger: bastard
You: Now see, I'm looking at that trying to come up with a logical conversation.
Stranger: say some and escape
You: Is this English? I think my I.Q dropped by several points.
Stranger: boring
Stranger: u r retarded
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Classy.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: Do you like Jesus?
You: Jehovah's Witness 2.0? I pass.
You have disconnected.

Hey no, I'm not putting up with that.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: wanna see my dick?
You: Aw, look at you, thinking you're going to get lucky. :D
You: That's just adorable.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Unfortunately, he was the only one I found.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: asl?
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Why do people want to know this stuff?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: Hi!!
You: Oh wow, TWO exclamation points.
You: We're really going for high class here, aren't we?
Stranger: what!
Stranger: nigga please
You: Now things are interesting.
Stranger: hahah
You: I was hoping to find a troll, but so far, I've been out of luck.
Stranger: guts
You: I think Makuhita has that ability?
Stranger: makuhita?
You: Well, he's not a very useful fighting type. Certainly not a Hitmonlee.
You: But it's relatively useful in the early game.
Stranger: you crazy hah
You: Oh I wish. I'm not /b/ material.
Stranger: where are you from?
You: BEHIND YOU.
Stranger: cool story
You: No, a REALLY cool story involves rocket dragons on jet skis.
You: This is no cool story. And I am not your bro, so don't even.
Stranger: i didn't say bro...
You: Just throwing it out there.
Stranger: you need to chill
Stranger: the fuck down!
You: The ANimated Series or Batman and Robin? Because the latter sucked hard.
You: "Stay cool birdboy"
You: "Can you be cold"
You: "Chill"
You: "Allow me to break the ice"
You: "FREEZE IN HELL BATMAN:
Stranger: yeeee
You: And contrary to what he said, the Ice Age did not kill the dinosaurs.
You: That's just silly.
Stranger: you are so cool
You: Was that intentional?
Stranger: yes
You: Oh God why.
You: Not my worst conversation though. Not by far.
Stranger: i'm just saying. i hate to think what is worse
You: Adam West?
Stranger: who's that?
You: >:(
You have disconnected.

BLASPHEMY.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: hey
Stranger: dont you think that ET should die?
You: Not before Monsters in my Basement.
Stranger: same here, there little bastards made their home under my bad
Stranger: bed*
Stranger: im fuckin scared =(
You: I know right? One made my closet his peronal bathroom.
Stranger: ahahh :D
You: The thing is, they stopped being scary when I discovered the opposite gender. Now they're just annoying.
Stranger: have they pussies? :o
Stranger: do they have.. * =D
You: Oh God, don't get me started. Some of them have TEETH. My cat found that out the hard way.
Stranger: LoáL
Stranger: You have a cat?
Stranger: Lvl 60 perfect embedded?
Stranger: or mutant with passive auras?
You: Lost the character sheet some time ago.
Stranger: =)
You: But I think it was a Rogue.
Stranger: ^.^
You: Nyarlahotep had the best gear...
Stranger: Rouge cat :) dashing for the food? =)
Stranger: lvl70 whiskas :D
You: Not even. It worshipped the Outer Gods, and made my life a living hell.
You: Cthulhu was literally at my breakfeast table once.
Stranger: :D::DD:DD:D
You: Lvl 67 with Helm of Azathoth. I mean, Jesus.
You: Who gives a cat the Helm of Azathoth?
You: AND WHY CAN THE CAT EQUIP IT?
You: I'll let you find out on your own. May you have luck on your journey.
You have disconnected.

The cat rolls 20's.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello~
Stranger: HALLA
Stranger: HEI JØRR DU DA
You: I uh. What.
Stranger: HELLO
You: H-hello. Can I help you?
Stranger: M GRIL
You: This is scary :(
Stranger: NOV
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I still don't know what language that was.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello~
Stranger: asl?
You: WHy do people want to know this?
Stranger: just si a convo can start
Stranger: not like were creeping on u....?
You: You would be surprised...
Stranger: oh
Stranger: well im not(:
You: I have seen horrible things. Horrible people. My eyes have on occasion attempted to gouge themselves out.
You: You don't want to enter my world. Leave now and enjoy your ignorance in bliss.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

"Very good then, Mr. McGinnis. Welcome to my world."

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I am ҉the Hera҉ld of Za҉lgo,҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ the Nezperd҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ian hive҉-min҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚d of chao҉s. ҉Zalgo. He w҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ho Waits ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Behind ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚The Wa ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ll. ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ̒̓̔̕̚,

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚
Stranger: Horny female?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fool, Zalgo has no genitalia. At least I don't think so?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I am ҉the Hera҉ld of Za҉lgo,҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ the Nezperd҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ian hive҉-min҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚d of chao҉s. ҉Zalgo. He w҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ho Waits ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Behind ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚The Wa ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ll. ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ̒̓̔̕̚,

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚
Stranger: halo im tyrfgsyutcfgluirhfviutvuihtifcuytgvuig6yv9t6vogiujoshuauyfiurtgv8ougyoviut8ilctygi
Stranger: can you fine my name ????
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: aa
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: aa
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: ss
Stranger: s
Stranger: s
Stranger: s
Stranger: d
Stranger: d
Stranger: d
Stranger: d
Stranger: f
Stranger: f
Stranger: f
Stranger: g
Stranger: g
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: k
Stranger: k
Stranger: k
Stranger: l;
Stranger: '
Stranger: i
Stranger: u
Stranger: 7yh
You: Ẅ̸̱̰̰́̓̀̾̃̽̀̒̀͟ͅH͍͇͙͔̳̯̩̞ͭa̻͈̯̞̿̾ͣ̑̓̀t̵̝̤͙̜̗̲͐̂ͫͥ̃̂̀.̭̯͙̯͚͔͈͓͂̐͞ ̸͉͕͙̳̣ͤ̄̓̄̐ͯ͝Ṣ̗̦̹͚͕̽̈́̈̓̎̀ͭ̌p̷̍͒̀̚҉͚e̡͓̳̲̬̮̩̗̦̓â̷̧̮̤̩̼͍̻̂ͧ͆͂̽ͭͩͅk̋̎ͮ̏̓ͨ̓́҉̨̫͍̼̳̠̹̜ ̪͔̻ͨ̉̔͛ͩͫ͡E̓̔̂ͤ̐͐̚͏҉̙͓ņ͉͖͚̻̣̞͉͈̇̆̋͋g̼͈̠̭͖͌̉̌͑̉̾ͬ͒͟͜l̨̺̥̲̠̖̲͑ͭ́͛̎͒͗̂ͧḭ̥̱̯̰͉̏̊̆ͨͦͪ͞͞s̛͍͈̯̟͒̈̒h̅̈́͒͋̐͏̱̦̪̯̭̘ ̸̡̛͚̱̲͍̭̩͎ͭ͑͗b̼̠̥̱̫̞̯̦̽̈́̊̀l̴̡̟̹̳̬̄̈̐͂̈́a̸ͪͥ͌ͤͭ͌̆̃̐͘͏̥͕s̳ͨ͛̽ͭ̽̆̒̕tͭ͗͋͛̇̿͟҉̨͈͎̞̫͉ ̵̺͉̥̦͎͔͖̙͔̋̒y̴̡̡̞̖̆ͣ̒͛ơ̼̤̠͕̻͔̤͉͉ͬ͒̓̉͆̂͆̑̓u̡͈͕̤͕̯̣͈͚͍ͥ̉ͥ̈́̋ͭ̍̚̕.̢̡̘̰͕̽̈͌ͤͭ͟
Stranger: ujhnu]
Stranger: hb
Stranger: uhnu
Stranger: hnuhnj
Stranger: 7yh
Stranger: unj
Stranger: uk
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: hh
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: h
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
You: Z̪̦̫̺̻̜̯̎̐̒̄ͦa͓̣̎̆ͥͪ́ͧ̓ḻ̞͉̫̍͐ͤͦ̚gͪ̄͒̃͌ő͎͙̞̝̪̮͖̓̓ͣ ̼̞͙̘̥̆d̤̺̣̗ͤ͛̈́͂ͅͅoͦͤ̿e̱ͬ̔͆ͮ̽s̬̟ͧ̓ ͓͓̲͉̝̟͂ͩͯ́ͥͯ͐n̜̜̗͖̭ͯ͐̆̔̚o̗̱̗͉ͩṫ̫̝̣̫̩̙ͬͯ ͈ͭå̩̭̫̥̝̰̮̈́ͯ̽̇ͩp̬̪̤̺̫̤ͧ̀̾ͤp͍̼̟̯ͩ̀̏͌͊̃r̳̯͊̒͊o͕̬̦͖v̙̖͚̰ě͎̭͓̫͈̪͊̒͂́.̳̥̜̥̹̊ͨͦ̚
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: j
Stranger: what the fuck are you ??? dick ???]
You: O̭̬̺̞̯̜̅̏ͬ̍ͥͫ̿ͮ̍̕͟͞H̸̡̞̟̼̙̱̪͔̺̮͓͕̼̯̠̳̞̙̜͑̐ͧͦ̃̃̀͑̕ ̷̨͔̬͔͎̟ͯ͗͂͐̀S̴̵̛̫̩̰͕͙̰͖̙͉̦͕̬̬̝͚̻͙̈̒ͭC̜͓̩̼̹̮̯̀̒̅̈͛̐͛̓̍̔͐̆̚͘͟R͌ͬ̋̓̿̔͂͗̎ͭ̏͒͋ͣ͆҉̸̞̬̦̻̱̻̘̳̱̝̼͇͕̜̕͢Ę̠̩̞̝͖̖̯̌͆ͯͪ͗͛̓̽ͬͪ͒ͩ̇ͦ͑͘Ẉ̴̧̡̻̱̥̝̺̙͖͚̭̲̐̆ͨ̍̏̄ͦ̊̎͟ ̷̡̲͚̳͓̘̺̠̱̼̦̞͕͓ͫͭ͆ͭ̀ͣ̄Ţ̛̫̩̜̺̮͕̩̖̩͇͔̘̮̍̽̊ͧͤ̅ͨ̅͐̎̂̿ͤͣͧ̑̏̂̑͢ͅH̛͙͍͙̠̟̥͒ͤ͗ͫ͑̉́̀ͩ̎͊̽͐̏͐͡͠I̡̛̱̳̪͚̅̐ͧ͑ͯͩ̊̔ͫͪͩ̔͂̆ͭ̇̿ͧ͆͢͡͝Ş͕̠̝͇̻̬̎̋ͯ̈́͐ͪ͜.̂̃̋ͬ͐̈ͬ̉͛̚͝͏̨̢̳̻̟͕͓͈̜
You: I am ҉the Hera҉ld of Za҉lgo,҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ the Nezperd҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ian hive҉-min҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚d of chao҉s. ҉Zalgo. He w҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ho Waits ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Behind ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚The Wa ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ll. ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ̒̓̔̕̚,

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘Ȅ̐̑̒̚̕̚ IS C̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚̕̚OMI҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘NG > ͡҉҉ ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚ ҉ ҉҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ͡҉҉

Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚
Stranger: fuck a bitch asshole
Stranger: you motherfucker
You: Z̸̢̥͙̠̘͉̦̩͖̠̦ͧ́͐͒͋ͨ̄̓̄̂ͅA̵̵̧̭͈̟̘̱̋͐ͣͣ̄͐͒ͥ͊̔́ͥ̎̏̊ͥ̚͜L̸ͩ̄ͨͧ̅͛̎̀̏̎̋͑̒̎ͮ̓ͯͫ̀̕҉̻̭̭̞͔̩̙͖̳̮ͅG̶̤̯̝͍̜̦̣̜̳͍̓̉͂̓͆̌̓́ͣ̄̅ͯ̿̓͋͌̒͠͞ͅÓ̴̧̯̟̪͖̼͉͐ͧ̑̓̍̇ͭ̊͋̂̚Z̨̩̜̮̹̫͓͚̞̫͍̩̲ͬ͑̍ͩ̽͌͐̇ͫ͐̃͋ͮͯ̕̕͡Ã̷̶̛̭̠̰̗̼̬̮̘̹̮͉̖̭̭͍̱̲̞̺ͭͮ̓Ļ̸̰̜̣̝̮͍ͥ̇ͭͬ̐̇̆͋̊̉̎̄ͪͫ͛̓̈͐̊̕G͔̱̫̰̜̮̪͉͆̍̇ͤͪ̃͂̀ͬ͌̏̀ͥ͐ͮ͆̒͞ͅO̫̜̥̬̻̗̣͈̒̍͋̂͋ͩ̇̅́͝Ẕ̢̧̼͖̠̝̞͇̙̬̹̫̯̬̝̪͓̰͖̓ͧ̆ͯ̃͑̈ͣ̿̂ͨ̉ͥͨ̿̚ͅA̷̢̺̟̪͎͔̩̦͇̤̙͔̘̙̋ͨ͑̇ͧ̽ͧ͗ͬ͂̀́͢͞Lͣ̾ͮ̿҉͏̣̻͇͓̀͡G̵̢͎̺͈̺̻̩͍̙̘̳ͯ̋ͦͤ͢͠O͉͙͖̝͈̮̙̦̺̱͕̮̓̓̉̊͂͑ͧ̄̎̏͌͢͜͡Z̧̟̣̫͈͉̤̣͔̩̮̿ͯ̌̈́̋ͯ̎̿̐͊̉ͩ̾̓ͮ͐̚͘͝Ȧ̸̜͖̙̭̞̻̣̣͖̻̜̺̺͇̒̿͛̎͗ͫ̿̎́̚̚͢͡L͍͈̬̞̟͓̘̺̳̜̮̤̭̹͓͚͇̠̅̎̽̅̑ͬ̀̉ͧ͑ͮ̄͞G̶̺̝̭͓̥͓̰͎̺̙ͫ̔̋̅̊̃̓͗ͩ̂͊̅̕͢Oͨ̊͑̅ͩ̋͊ͮͩͩ͆́͒͜͡͏҉̡̗̮̺̮̻̺̝̣̥͙͚̝͖Z̢̔͑̓͌̽̿̅ͯͦ̾ͩ̐͢͏͚͓̫͚̹͖̫̪̩̼̫̦̮Ā̧̜̼̮͎̠̣͉̟͕̣̗̹͋̾͐͌ͣ̍͆ͫ̂̄͊͛͌͢͠͡͝L̨̊̂̇͋̍̓̀̊ͫ҉͖͍̩̪̣̪̖̖̬̤̱̻̬͍Ḡ̶̽͂ͦ̂̀ͤͮ̍ͨͫ͏̨̖͖̰̟̮̞͍͓͙̠͈̼̩̯̻͕Oͫ͌̋́̃̅ͥ̂̎̆̂̕͡҉̲̠̮͚̠̲̮̼̗͉̣͢Z̶͎̫̤̟͕̼̟̱̟̖̣̏̀ͯ̐͆̇͒ͯ̿ͧ͑́̉̽́̅̊ͣ̑͢͠A̶̯̩̖̫͔͖̥̯̙͔͔͖̫̋͐ͮ̋ͨ̈̚͜Ḷ̸͉̤͎̳̦̓ͭ̀̾͒ͭͬ̍̎̑̉͘͢͡ͅG͈̣͔̝̖̝͎̮͍̱̭̭͙̼͑̆̂ͮ̐ͬ̆ͪ̒́͋̊͟͜͟O̶̭̼̣͔̦̼̙̭͉̾̑ͬ̋̀̒͘͟͠Z̢̛̼͓͔̳̦̙̳̱̜͖͌̀̔̆̌͋̇ͤ̓̊͋̓͂́͌͒̎Ǡ̈ͥ̓̾ͮ̅͑̒̊ͬ̆҉͈̱̲̯͍̭̻̱͟ͅL̶̶̢̘͖̠̤͓̰̣͋̀̎ͥ͆̈́͐͑͌̒͒͋̆̾͗ͅG̝̗̹̗͎̤̟͈̲͎͓͕̖̩̳͖̣̥̟ͭ̏ͬ̃ͩͤ͆ͩ͌̽ͩ̉̏̿̉͐̂͜͠Ȍ̈ͪ͊̀ͦͧ̾̅҉̶̖̫̬̯̺͠͠ͅZ̴̯̙̼̜̗̯̩̟̲̥̭̘̹̳͎̘̞͈͇̆͂̾̒̎̒̓̎ͨ̇ͨ́͛͑̈́̂ͭ̔̂̕͡Ā͈̦̹͈͍̜̥̫̲͖̮͇͓͙̠̥̠ͣͣ̉ͬ̈̒̀̀ͅL̾̏͑ͥ́ͦ̏͑ͤ̑͏̵̸̨̢̝̖̫̬͇G͙̺͇̭̖̙̖̐̒ͬ̇ͥ̌̃ͧͬͣ͌̀͗́́O̡̧̧̗̞̹̰̼ͪͣ̈́͊́ͬ͐̒̔̒ͯ́͠Z̠͔̭͖̥͈̱͚͖̬̬̞̖̬̼̹ͩ̌͊̑͛̎̌ͨͧͦ̃̀̀̕A̷̵͂̃̓͌̓̓̆ͤ͆̓̿̚͏̼͎̰̼͇̦̕͢Ļ͚̪̞̣̪̹̖͔̙̥̝͂͊ͬͭ̿͑̐̉ͧ͛ͪ̏̎̇̚͢͟ͅG̴̢̤̦̖̠͎̮͔̱͎̠͕̪̉̅̍̓̽͌ͫ̅̿ͣ͊̎ͤ͑͆̃̂ͣ͘͞O̴̼̦͚͓ͫͫ͌̓̇͊̂̚Z͔̭̜̜̖͔̗ͪ̅́̑ͦͥ̾͌͢͞A̧͉͈̙͓̟̝̪͍ͬ̾ͪ̀̌̔ͦ̑͒̔̇̆̒̏ͬ̉̒̂̊͜͡ͅͅL̡̨̯̘̗̳̤͍̯͌̈͌̐ͨͩ̔̒̉̓̄ͣͩ̑̓̕͜͞G̸̢̛͓̮̬̯͔͈̥̬̣͊̾ͮ̓͋̆͐̄ͧ͂͂̒̈́̊̿̌̿́Ơ̸̤̭̼̳̙͎̝͓͓̗̻͉̹̰̲̊ͮͥ̏͗͛̋ͥ̋̄́̚͝ͅͅZ̵͚͈̥͓͚̣̞̺͍̰͔̘͔̝̬͓̥ͭͬ͛̈́́͘͞ͅA̶̛̲͍͚̠̹̎̃̇ͣͮ̋ͦ́͑̐ͨͤ̄̈́̓ͬͅL̫̹̖̮̙̭͓͎̹̦̊̂̂̽́̒ͨ̐̀ͮ͂ͪ̑ͨͤ́͂̀͜͡͠͝G̿ͨͥ͂̊̍̄ͣ͑ͭ̊ͯ̌̈́̒́̚̕͞͏͔̗͙̮̤̩̠͎̱̭͇̭̘̤Ö̷̢̧̻̜̱͓̞ͪ̽̓̓ͬ͊͆͑́̚̚͢ͅZ̶̷̡͓̳̟̠̙͈̻̩̙͙̫̬̖̻̲̻̺ͣ́ͨ̇̈ͥͫ͢͠A̴̻͙͙̠̘̭̽ͮ̃͋̽̐̏̉ͩͫͫ͌̐̈́̆̚͜Lͮͣ́ͥ̆̒͗ͫ̎͊ͪ̎̌ͥ҉͓̻̗̝̬͙̯̗̬̀ͅG͗̋͂͗̈́̾̓́́̏̅̍̔ͤ̾҉͕͈̗̦̪̮̗͇̪͖͔̮̞͘͝Ơ̵̢͉̱̩͓ͣ̏̀͌̀̽͑ͨ͐̏̀̐̒ͤ͑̊ͮͨ̃͝Z̓ͥ̇̒̎̈́̿̾̅̏ͬ́ͩ͊͑̑ͫ͗͗͟͡҉̨̟̩͈͍̼͝A̵̴ͮ̿̉ͧ͂̉̽ͯ̋̑̎ͫͪ̓ͯͮ̿́̚̚͏̩̳̲͎̪͈͍̠L̵̶̢̝̲̙̺̺̪̥̣̩̱̪̰̤͎̳̥̲̤ͨ̇ͪͥͧ͋̈́̾̀̊Ģ͓͍̼̮͔͔̺͕͎̫̟̼͒͗ͪͧ̃͛͐̕ͅO͎̝̰͇̟̩͕̩͚̗̜̫̻̤̫͋̿̊̿͐͋͗͂́̍ͯ͠Z̢̢̛̯̣̼̫̗̼̼̬͉͕̩̰̠̲̹̻͙͇͕͆̐ͨ͆ͫ͆͝͠A̯̖͈͕͚͇̳̯̭̗̣̘̰ͫ͐͗̆̆̈͗ͬ̔͗ͣ̔̇ͣͯ̾̏͜͟L̴̨̛̞͈̥͇̲̅̆͆͂̒͑ͮ̊̈́̍ͯ̉̀ͮ̆ͦͧͭG̡̛̰͎͙̖͓̣̲͖̱͙̋̔̋͑̓͑̒ͨ͐̀̕͠ͅỞ̸̡̟͙̱̟̺̭̮̬͎̗̰̥̣̥̙̟̟ͫ̃ͮͨ͌́̽̌̀̑̾͡Z̰̭͍̱̠ͦ͊̎̄̉̔̏͌̆ͩ̀̀́͘Á̵̢̡̼̳̜̤̯̙͕͕͙͇͍̻̮̻̮͍ͣ̐̔͛͐̓͆̐̏̾͠ͅL̵̩̺͕̹̗̯̈́͒͋́G̶̼̫̘̺͎̙̩̭̪̝̟̾̋̓̐ͦͮ̇͑̄̚͝O͍͇͖͈͑͑̽̀͑̐ͯ̐͘Z̨̻͕͕͔̟̠͖̫̀̉̾͐̓̓̉̽̂͊̔̀̀A͗ͪ̆ͮ͡͏̻̗̖̹̲̰͔̲̟̪L̹̲̠̭ͬ͐ͭ̈́ͭ̈̏̽̀͢͡Ģ̷̼͚̞͙͙̃̐̇ͫ́̚͘͢O̶̷̮͎͇̳̳̮̙̲̽̓ͦ̾͂ͣͧ̈́ͯZ͊́̀̽͆ͩ͗́̀͏̢̟̤͕̯̘̘͖̖̳A͑̇͋̐̔͛̉̌̋ͮ͆̌̚҉̵̼̠̘̭̤̞͕̼̺̗͙̪̤̘̕L̶̛̛̤̻̞̯̰̫͔͓̩͈̜̗͇ͨ̾̆ͬͩ̓́͛̋ͮ͑͛̄̎̓͐̀̿ͯ͞Ģ̛͓͍̼̤̤͖̯͈̮̖͚̟̱̭̣̓ͣͬ́̾̌̿́̾ͦ̚͢͟͡Ǫ̷̷̭̠͎̳̫̩͇̗̖͙̻͔̗̰̬͙̹ͮͦ̋̽̈́ͫ̓ͫ͆̊ͪ͑̚͘ͅZ̸̵͚̬̼̤̭̻̦͖̗͈ͥ͂͊͒̈͑̽̍Ą̵̥̙͎̤̺̫̪̹͚͖̹̥̭̼̬̏̂̔ͬ́́͟ͅͅL̸͙̜̘̺͙̞̝̰̉ͩ͆͂̋̏͆̋̈́̇̆̀́͡͠ͅG͛ͨͤ̈ͥ̌̍̏̃ͬ̾ͨ̌̐̚҉̯̗̗̭O̧͙͚͇̦͈͍̖̫̻̞̠̮̥̥͎̙̦̽ͬ̓ͩ̽̍̆̆̈ͮ͒͌͐̉̕͞͝Z̨͉̞̫̼̍̈ͭ̀͂ͥͫ́̕͢͝A̴̜̳̬̲̘͖ͦͣ̓̂̃̐̔̀͋̿̽̚͞L̷̢͓͍̦̻̮̼͉̋͆͆̏̐̈́̕͠ͅǴ̶̴̭͚̙̹̩͔̹̼̄ͧ̂ͪ͊̆̌ͪ͆͗ͦ̀ͅȎ͔̰̗̣̉̄̉̑ͤͨͬ̏̄ͤ͠͡Z̴̢̲͍͕̰̲͕̯̦͖̱̤̙͔̞͉̤̄̒́̏͗ͮĄ̴͇͎͇̩͔͔̳̳͚̹̞͙̜̅̆̃̅͐̌̄̄̌̕͜L̵̀̒ͫ̄̏͜͝͠҉͙̱͉͔͕̼͈͍̩̭̞̬͎͇̳̜ͅĢ̶̣͔̹̱̬̼͔̠̗͉͕̮̜̲̥̐̉̐̎ͣͮ̽̑̑̅̀ͧͭǪ̈ͧͧ̃̓̈͛͡҉͓͖̝̞͚̜͓̣͓̤͓̩̥͕͈̝̣ͅZ̸̞̫͉̭̞͍̩͉̥͖̤̹̬͙̮̞̯̝̽̈́̈́͛ͬ͌̉̾͋̌̚͜Ā̪͓͍͕͚̖̎ͣ̂̃ͧ̏ͮ͂ͦ̃̓̌̅͐̇͛ͥͦ͝ͅL̵̞̤̺̣͇̯̗͓̩̗̣̦̼̔̐̽̃͛͆̀ͮͦ͛ͤͩ̽̌͊ͨ̄̀͜G̷̢̝͈̻̤̦̱̝͉͙͎ͮ̑̽̓̓̕͠O̸̵̻̠̮̣͎̱͇̦̹̱̙̜̱̤̩ͧ́̑̎͆ͣ͗̋̕͟͡ͅͅZ̡͙̻͚̞̼̫͗ͯ̈̃̐̀̽̚̕̕͟A̴̛ͣ̓ͧ̆̓̉̊̎̉̇ͮ͋ͫ̾̉͗̈ͩ͢͠҉̖̟͈͓͕̯͔̳ͅL͂̂ͭ̈͏̶̟̭͚̺̼͙̥͕͍͔͇͖̘G̐̍̿̋̀ͬ͒͂҉̧̀͏͖̳̯̟̣̰̦̠̟͙̠̮̝O̸͖̟͕̹̟͉̺͆̈̈̏̒̊ͭ̈̽̓̌ͥ͑̚͢Z̴̼̮̺͕͉̥̩͖̤̰̰̳͕͍̪̝̭̤ͨͦͮ͑̔̐͑̑̃́̀͌̕͜A̷̡̛͈̳̟̮͍͓͇̙̰̝͖̤̝̮͉̺̅̑̌̆̏̓ͯ͋̑̄ͣ͐̎ͩ̂̆̈̕͠L̩̦̝͚͈̣̜͚̥̜̟͚̟̖̮̜̲ͤ̽̈́͊̀̀͘͝G̷̪̥͓̼͔̠͖̠̙̩̳͍̣̬͕̉͗͊͑̿̾́́͘Ō̮̤̰͕̝̤͖̲̪̥̪̩̤̂̇ͪ̌̾ͦ͆ͮ̕͟͝Z̸̛͔͓̩͇̯̲̽ͯ̃̆͊̀̓͒͛̒ͣ͒̾ͧ̿͂͜͜A̶̡͔̮͈͈̩̠̭̙̼̙̞̰̫̤̞͕̿̒̽̽̏̀͡Ļ̷̴͍̩͈̗̳̙̦͔̩̥̭͕̘̯̝͍̮̲̽͐̂̏͊̒̇̍̐̽̃̾G̝̰̻͍͎̰̯̦̹̝̗̯̣̿͒͂̂ͯ̐ͨ́͠͠Ơ̖͖̥̎̇ͩͤͬͤͯ̈͂ͧ̏ͤ̏͊́͢
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: a
Stranger: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttcccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stranger: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I still have no clue what happened here.

 

[KMew]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi, i'm looking for a gay/bi guy who's willing to have cyber on msn

You: I'm looking for a BELLSPROUT! Want to trade for my Onix?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[ArceusPalkia916]

Stranger: hye
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: i dont see u
You: 10,f english
You: XD
Stranger: cool
Stranger: me to
You: u?
You: awesome!
Stranger: m24 french
Stranger: xd
Stranger: can i see u baby
You have disconnected.Then I was showing people pokemon cards :D

 

[ZimD]

I don't have a log of it but I got a guy to txt the girl he was cheating on his girlfriend with, say he didn't want to see her again and asked her to delete his number, then he deleted hers, and he thanked me and left. So I basically saved a dude's relationship.

I think that balances out my Omegle karma for all the times I flashed people on Video Omegle wearing an Ace Frehley mask

 

[ArceusPalkia916]

There needs to be a report button.I'm seeing SEVERAL people doing VERY inappropriate things on video chats.And,there might be younger kids coming on.If there's nothing going to be done,I would just forget about the video chat completely. Left that for feedback. I saw someone do something VERY inappropriate with their man-part on video chat :x then I showed people my japanese Kangashkan card

 

[ZimD]

with all due respect the website is not intended primarily for 10 year olds and because it is the internet horny guys will jack off for the world at every available opportunity

 

[ArceusPalkia916]

^I didnt have my cam on so he couldnt see me.There should be a report button.Thats my opinion though

 

[ZimD]

the video feature has a lot of guys jacking off, if you don't like it stick to text like i do, or troll. it's not their responsibility if someone chooses to use the site with the knowledge they'll be walking into Dongs R' Us and gets uncomfortable when they find an impressive selection of dongs of all shapes and sizes. just stay off of video omegle, its worse anyway

 

[ArceusPalkia916]

My cousin saw a guy with pierceings in the wrong place dancing(she's like 13) anyway,I dont remember exactly,but I talked with a 14 year old about pokemon

 

[Not Meowth]

Also if Omegle is completely anonymous then I can imagine there'd be not much they can do about specific users seeing as there'd be no way to tell who they are.

You: Joey, I don't think we should cook the candy bars.
Stranger: hola
Stranger: Lucy, we need to~
You: But if we do, the dog will explode.
Stranger: That may be so, but we need to take the chance.
You: Why so?
You: Why can't we eat raw candy bars?
Stranger: Because, cooked candy bars will keep us safe from the zombies.
You: But... we ARE zombies.
Stranger: WHAT?
You: Well, I am.
Stranger: Oh.. uh.. Lucy.. I think I should be going then///
You: That's for the best, yes. I'm getting rather peckish for brains and what have you.
Stranger: Lucy, I love you though... I just can't leave you.
You: BRAINS.
Stranger: LUCY!!! NO!
You: nom nom nom
Stranger: Somebody help me!
You: Yum, raw candy bars.
Stranger: *Pulls cooked candy bar out of pocket* HAZAH! I can now defeat you, you minion!
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You: *explodes*
Stranger: *Sweeps up guts off floor and cries to oneself* Oh how I loved her..
You: *turns into a cupcake*
Stranger: *Eyes pop open* A cupcake.. oh, how lovely you are *Smiles at cupcake creepily*
You: Eat me :D
Stranger: Grumble grumble. Mission accomplished.
You: aaaaargsnsfbbl*dies*
Stranger: Start a new one
You: Okay.
You: Joey, I don't think we should cook the candy bars.
Stranger: Your right Lucy. Your just too smart for a boy like me
You: Far, far too smart.
Stranger: Well I wouldn't go as far as far, far, because that just makes me nauseas.
You: But nausea gives me AIDS.
You: No, wait, aides.
You: Carry on.
Stranger: Lucy, are you trying to tell me you have AIDS?
You: Yes.
Stranger: No! Lucy, we made love.. do I.. have.... ?
You: To tell the truth, we haven't. You were making love to an aubergine dressed like me.
Stranger: Lucy, your spooking me. I.. I made love to the wrong one?
You: No, making love to the wrong one would be going to the fridge, getting an aubergine that wasn't dressed as me, and shagging it instead.
Stranger: But, but, LUCY! I want a divorce.
Stranger: PRONTO.
You: We were never married.
You: In fact, I'm not sure we've met.
You: Who are you?
Stranger: Lucy, do you even love me?
You: No. Because I'm a pine end table.
Stranger: *Starts running in circles* Oh dagnabbit! I am going mad I say!!!
You: Maybe we're all mad.
You: I know I am.
You: I killed a man, once.
Stranger: Maybe its just you, Lucy. Maybe its just you.
You: Probably.
You: I also ate a bit of him.
Stranger: So your turning to canabalism, I see? Well, this just won't do, will it?
You: Not at all.
You: Would it do if I was into necrophilia too?
Stranger: Maybe.
You: Well, I'm not.
Stranger: Don't you flab to me.
You: Just bestiality and pedophilia.
You: Are you calling me fat?
Stranger: Well Lucy, your not the skinniest of them all, but you are rather "bigger" than the others..
You: Just because I'm 90000 stone.
Stranger: Well, um.. no not no...
You: BRAINS.
You have disconnected.

You: I'm not from Finland.
Stranger: Okay?
Stranger: Why not?
You: Because I'm from a different country than that.
Stranger: Oh, I see...
Stranger: Which country are you from then?
You: Finland.
Stranger: Oh, Finland..
Stranger: Is it nice there?
You: No. It's so crikey cold and dark and there's only fish to eat.
Stranger: Oh, then I don't really want to go to Finland.
You: Yes, in Reykjavik it's dark eight months of the year and cold enough to freeze your wrists off.
You: Administrative errors are bound to occur in enormous quantities.
Stranger: Never been in Iceland..
You: Fuck I mean Helsinki.
You have disconnected.

I was too in character it seems. :<

You: I'm not from Finland.
Stranger: I'm looking for a girl to share pics with ;)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Because all the girls live in Finland? :l

You: I'm not from Finland.
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i m also
You: Good.
Stranger: asl ?
You: 18/m/not Finland
Stranger: ok man so frm where
Stranger: do u hate finland ?
You: No
Stranger: frm where ?
You: Not Finland
Stranger: i know
Stranger: wht do u do ?
You: Be from somewhere other than Finland
Stranger: ok want a good friend ?
You: Yes please
Stranger: yaa really
Stranger: i got some weared people here
Stranger: i hope u not like that
You: I'm not
You: And I'm not Finnish either
Stranger: ok then wht do u do ?
You: I'm a chartered accountant in Helsinki
You: I get paid 62 markka a year
Stranger: so u r in finland
You: ...FUCK SO I AM
You have disconnected.

[/"I'm not from Finland" saga]

You: 18, male, England, asexual, not horny. If you disconnect now I told you that you're a pervert.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Hello.
Stranger: The last sentence doesn't make sense.
Stranger: Grammatically.
You: Me no do English good? D:
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Oh look, what clever children!
Stranger: I am certainly not a child.
You: See them study. Watch them learn!
Stranger: Why would I do such a thing.
You: How I hate those goody-goodies. How they make my stomach churn.
Stranger: I enjoy goody-goodies.
You: I've got a little secret that'll really make 'em cry. It's a nasty kind of magic, from a special kind of guy.
Stranger: Oh noes.
You: This book is made to order, but it isn't to be read.
You: When they open up this book, they're sucked inside instead to the most unpleasant place they've ever seen; the magic labyrinth of I M Meen!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: WHITE POWER!
You: BLACK POWER!
You: ...um. This is awkward.

You: ネコにこばん
Stranger: Slant eyed mother fucker
Stranger: I STILL REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR
You: You're old.
You have disconnected.

From here onward I'm using this, hence the different format and Magic 8 Ball function.

[06:47:18] Connecting to server...
[06:47:18] You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
[06:47:19] <You> I am the magic 8-Ball. Ask me something.
[06:47:26] <Stranger> how long is my dick?
[06:47:30] <You> Magic 8-Ball says: Definitely not.
[06:47:37] <Stranger> makes sence, makes sence.
[06:47:55] <You> It does have to be yes/no. I should have mentioned that.
[06:48:09] <Stranger> is my dick long?
[06:48:14] <You> Magic 8-Ball says: Concentrate and ask again.
[06:48:23] <Stranger> -concentrates-
[06:48:24] <Stranger> is
[06:48:24] <Stranger> my
[06:48:25] <Stranger> dick
[06:48:25] <Stranger> long
[06:48:26] <Stranger> ?
[06:48:30] <You> Magic 8-Ball says: Outlook so so.
[06:48:54] <Stranger> are you retarded?
[06:49:01] <You> Magic 8-Ball says: My reply is no.
[06:49:09] <Stranger> will i die tomorow
[06:49:13] <You> Magic 8-Ball says: Without a doubt.
[06:49:19] <Stranger> fuck you
[06:49:20] Stranger ran away.

[04:09:40] <Stranger> (15,f) *you bump into me at a party spilling your drink all over me* omg wow thanks!!!!!!!! *you notice im drunk*
[04:09:54] <You> I hate parties. This scenario is ludicrous.
[04:09:56] Stranger ran away.

 

[ZimD]

this will only be funny to those of you who watch "it's always sunny in philadelphia"

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi im charlie
Stranger: hi
You: how are you bro
Stranger: not bad
You: thats cool
Stranger: what about you
You: i just...
You: just start thinking, and i
You: UGGGH
You: I GET SO ANGRY
You: ..what am i saying? XDDD
Stranger: why?
You: see theres this girl i like
You: she works at a coffee shop by the bar where im a janitor right?
You: and like
You: i try to be her friend i try to get with her
You: she never even gives me a chance
You: she thinks im racist but i have a black friend named janelle, they met once
Stranger: wait a minute
Stranger: i'll be back soon
You: okay
You: cover up your knees if you're gonna be walking around, though
Stranger: i'm back
You: hey bro
Stranger: hi
Stranger: btw i'm a girl
You: thats cool how old are you? not looking for sex - im not into online dating because it didnt work out for me once when my friends made me a match.com, and i want to get with the waitress at the shop - just wondering
Stranger: i'm 14
You: oh wow haha im 28 hope you dont think im a creep
Stranger: no
You: my sons about your age i think
Stranger: you have ason?
You: yeah his name's tommy
Stranger: ohoho
Stranger: how old is he?
You: he's like 12 or 13
You: see i dont really see him much... i had one one night stand back in the 90s
You: and then i just found out he even existed a few months ago... i was playing basketball with my bros mac and dennis and suddenly the chick comes up and says we need to talka bout our son
You: it was fuckin weird my whole life is, i sleep in an apartment with my dad who i didnt even know was my dad until like a year after i met him
You: but anyways tell me about you
You: what music do you listen to, whats your favorite color?
You: do you have a dog, do you want a dog?
Stranger: maybe pop or r nb
Stranger: i dont have a dog
You: janelle's into r&b... i tried to start a band with my bro dennis, electric dream machine... our song day man got kinda big around our neighborhood, we kind of had an r&b vibe, but we never really went too big.
Stranger: really?
Stranger: btw my free time is up
You: aw see ya ):
Stranger: okay
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[ArceusPalkia916]

Stranger: Good evening, sir or madame.
You: hi
Stranger: I'm a taoist master.
Stranger: I solve problems.
Stranger: Do you need any advice tonight?
You: why yes.
You: I need advice on if I should trade my shiny Magikarp for a shiny Larvitar
Stranger: I hate to tell you.
Stranger: But there are only 151 pokemon
You: not if you go into 4 generation
Stranger: There is no 4th generation
Stranger: There's only 151
You: then there is 493
Stranger: There are only 151 pokemon that matter.
You: Quite right on that
Stranger: Also, you should sell all your pokemon cards.
Stranger: Because their monetary value is decreasing exponentally every day.
You: How much should I sell black star kangashkan
Stranger: Wait too long, and those shiny cards won't be worth shit.
Stranger: I don't know.
You: its japanese
Stranger: Go ask ebay
Stranger: Problem solved. And on to the next one.

 

[NismoZ]

I had tons of fun with someone:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey :)
You: hi
Stranger: ask me any three questions and i'll answer truthfully.
You: asl?
Stranger: 16 f canada.. you're very creative
You: 200 none mars
Stranger: none... or both?
You: none
Stranger: cool... are you a mars native, or an emigrant?
You: native
Stranger: niceeee.
Stranger: are you 200 earth years?
You: yeah
Stranger: not mars years? it would seem odd that you'd measure by my years.
You: i'm talking to someone on earth, right?
Stranger: is canada on earth?
You: think so, yeah
Stranger: and there you go.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.