- Pronoun
- he/him
My Social Studies teacher attempting to explain the process of how neanderthals became beings we identify as humans today.
Maybe you should let him know that didn't actually happen.
Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.
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Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?
My Social Studies teacher attempting to explain the process of how neanderthals became beings we identify as humans today.
Maybe you should let him know that didn't actually happen.
Freshmen: You should do it
Friend: Do what?
Freshmen: Do it tomorrow.
Friend: Do what?!?!?
Me: You don't want to know.
Freshmen: DO IT!
Friend:??????????
Me: Fine I'll do it tomorrow
Freshmen: Yay!
Me: Or not.
Freshmen: I have a hair straightener in my locker.
Friend:................
Me: What is the purpose of having one in your locker?!?!? Also, I do not want my hair straightened.
Freshmen: Aww :(
Me: Oh I just can't wait
*clarinets stop playing*
Me: To be kiiiiiiiiiiing!
Me: By the way, what's that weird thing below the spine supposed to be?
Teacher: You mean his penis?
Teacher: And what are you afraid of?
Student: Senor [Teacher]! He has crazy eyes!
In calculus:
Some student: WHAT grade are you in?
Me: The second derivative of 5x²
Magnus: Wait, if this is the modern times... why can't he just use a cellphone instead of getting a letter sent to him?
Kathrine: Wait, Romeo didn't even save any poison for Juliet?
Me: No, he didn't... What a douche.
If I was in charge, things would be different. Of course, I'd probably be assassinated because no one would agree with me.
Narrator: Today, Ash and friends are traveling to Saffron City, when they come across a Dratini! What adventures do they have in store? Watch and see!
--Dratini enters, walking around
--Team Rocket enters stage left
James: Look, a Dratini!
Jessie: We should capture it!
Meowth: Imagine what the boss would say! I can see it now...
--Send out Ekans and Koffing who start attacking Dratini
--Ash and co enter stage right
Ash: It's Team Rocket!
Team Rocket: Oh no, it's the twerps...
Misty: You leave that Dratini alone!
--Team Rocket evil laugh
Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
James: Make it double!
Brock: Not this again...
Jessie: -aside: Shut up, twerp!- To protect the world from devastation!
James: To unite all peoples within our nation!
Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
James: To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!
Meowth: Meowth! That's right!
--Team Rocket captures Dratini and Pikachu
Ash: Pikachu! No!
Misty and Brock: Don't worry! We'll get Pikachu back!
--Misty and Brock send out Onix and Goldeen
Onix: Onix!
Goldeen: Goldeen goldeen!
Jessie: Get him, Ekans!
Ekans: Ekanssss!
James: Go, Koffing!
Koffing: Koffing!
--BATTLE!!!
Jessie: Ekans, Wrap!
--Ekans uses Wrap on Goldeen
Misty: Oh no, water Pokemon are useless out of water!
Brock: Don't worry, I've got this! Onix! Rock Throw!
--Onix uses Rock Throw, Ekans releases Goldeen
James: Koffing, Poison Gas!
--Koffing uses Poison Gas
--Pikachu uses Thunderbolt, breaks out of cage with Dratini, shocks Team Rocket
Team Rocket: We're blasting off agaaaiiiiinnnnn! *Ding*
Ash: Pikachu!
--Pikachu jumps into Ash's arms
Narrator: Will Ash and his friends make it to Saffron City? Find out on the next episode of...
Everyone: POKEMON!
*just prior to this, a classmate (Caroline) had to leave for something.
Carolyn: *fails at something*
Classmate: Nice job, Caroline.
Carolyn: My name's not Caroline!
Classmate: You're Carolyn if you do well, and Caroline if you mess up.
Teacher: So, wait, are you Carolyn or Caroline?
Carolyn: She's Carolyn, I'm Caroline... *suddenly realizes that she messed up her own name and covers her mouth*
*Class erupts into hysterical laughter*
*there is a State Farm ad in the mall. It says, " YOU CAN DO IT ON THE BUS"*
My bro: *pokes**nods toward ad*
Me: *giggle*
Him: *snicker*
Boy in class: *talking to friend, says something about Gadaffi*
Teacher: "Yes, you can make Gadaffi in Legos if you want to."
Boy: ...
Teacher: "Actually, that will be our homework: Make a Lego Gadaffi by next week!"
Class: *laughs*
Gov Teacher: *on a mini-rant about how the neighbors weren't happy about our school getting a traffic light so no one would die* It's not like we're asking for a house of prostitution or something!
Everyone: *dies of hysterical laughter*
Gov Teacher: Okay, maybe that was a bit extreme...
*later*
Teacher: I'm not allowed to go to meetings with the neighbors anymore, the other sisters are like "YOU'RE FORBIDDEN FROM GOING"