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Suicide Game! =D

Me and your Abomasnow become good bar buddies, going everyday to the Clown's Nose in Jublife City. Whilst in the bar, we both drink a whole lot, and start laughing and telling each other good stories. He tells me one story of an evil old hag... who comes only at night and steals the souls of young women in attempts to get her youth back. I'm so drunk that the story seems real. It turns out that somebody slipped some drugs into my alcohol and now I'm having hallucinations of hags. I hallucinate so much that I think I'm the hag, and try to kill her, in which I kill myself.

I drop birth.
 
I make fun of the sheep for several hours, giggling immaturely. The sheep is angered, but has no means to kill me. So he hires his buddy, a murderous crazed old man named Jebediah. I manage to trick Jebediah into killing his sheep friend instead, after inebriating him with several pints of sapphire cheese. Then the sheep's ghost comes and haunts me, and he keeps driving me nuts with the baaing, so I decide to go to a channeling psychic to try to get rid of it. It turns out the psychic is actually the infamous murderer Matt Suprobo, who likes especially to kill young teenage girls. So he lures me into his parlor and then, well... I think we know the rest.

I drop a police man.
 
The policemon, after a long "hard" day's work, decides to have a doughnut. As it turns out, this one doughnut was one too many. Just as one of the buttons on the front of his shirt snaps off and zooms across the station at terminal velocity, I happen to run into the station, out-of-breath, due to being chased by a stalker named Gary. As I step in the door, the speeding button slices right into my eye and penetrates my ocular nerve, cutting off not only my eyesight but a decent bit of other brain function as well, and I die right there in the police station.

I drop the keys to a brand new Camarro. (sp?)
 
I am about to take the keys, but then a car dealer at the last moment convinces me to trade in the keys for another car, a Ferrari, so I buy it from Money From God Knows Where. I jump in my new car and begin driving. I drive through the open road, with the top down, smiling and laughing. Just then, a mysterious man jumps into the front seat of my new car, and I'm all bewildered. He shouts GET DOWN! And I get down and some dudes in a car behind us are shooting. We have an epic car chase in which I wonder what the hell's going on. Eventually, he makes me drive to a nuclear power plant, where we shake off the guys chasing us. The power plant has a melt down, a nuclear explosion which we get caught in, and we die.

I drop my glasses.
 
I pick up the glasses and examine them. I am at a train station late at night, so I am wondering why someone has left their glasses here. I realize they must have lost them, so I promptly take them inside to the lost-and-found. The night shift security guard is playing Solitaire on his laptop. Having not heard me walk in, he is startled. He picks up his flashlight and shines it in my eye. He apologizes, but I have already stumbled backward and fallen to the floor. As he walks over to help me up, i notice a faint shadow on the back wall. I thank the guard, give him the glasses, and head over to investigate the shadow. I see a figure that appears to be a young woman. Frightened, I scold her without thinking, assuming she was there to wreak havoc. She seems not to be expecting anyone else to be there, so she is surprised at my sudden screaming. She finds a fire extinguisher and beats me on the head with it several times until I am rendered unconscious. Slightly before I am knocked out, I vaguely recognize the woman as Arylett Dawnsborough. I realize that she is most likely there to pick up her glasses. After knocking me out, she continues to beat my skull until I am dead.

I drop a thread of silk.
 
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I don't see the thread for a few seconds, but then pick it up, and then toss it away, immediately uninterested by it. The thread just sits there, as I continue to live my life. As I leave the thread though, a spy from France sneaks into my house when I'm watching TV. The spy grabs the thread and is about to strangle me with it as I'm watching TV. But it turns out that I'm already dead, the TV I was watching was fitted with a device that causes it to emit radioactive waves deadly only to human females, by none other than his rival, a spy from England.

I drop hand sanitizer.
 
After cleaning up a spill on the countertop, I decide to sanitize my hands. I use the hand sanitizer, which gets them squeaky clean, albeit with the drawback of the smell of rubbing alcohol. I strike a match lo light a soothing jasmine-scented candle, but then there is a bang, a flash, and both my hands are in flames. I panic and can't get to a water source in time to prevent third-degree burns, which get infected and I die.

I drop the lit jasmine-scented candle.
 
I pick it up, and another elaborate completely unrelated situation occurs. I simply drop the candle on my dress on accident, it burns the hem of it, and I try to stamp it out. It doesn't work, but I don't burn to death for some strange reason. As the flame is spreading, suddenly, a fireman pops out and puts it out. I hug him, but it turns out that he's Ryubane, and as we all know, Ryubane is hot and steamy, so his fire starts to burn me as the dress did and I flame to death.

I drop Frederick Stevenson.
 
I sit there, trying to remember who Frederick Stevenson is, because I know I've heard that name before but can't put my finger on it. As I sit there and ponder, a man's face pops up on my laptop and says: "I AM FREDERICK STEVENSON" and I am so frightened by it that I pass out and drop my laptop on the floor. The screen cuts out and the power strip overloads, causing a spark which burns down the house, with me inside.

I drop a grilled cheese sandwich.
 
The cheese sandwich is not poisoned or tampered with in any way, so I eat it. Wondering why I'm still alive, Ryubane comes onto the scene, and stabs me with a knife. But I'm still alive. So he stabs me again. Still alive, though bleeding profusedly. Then he tries to burn me with his steamyness. Nope, still alive! But burned. Then he drops a feather on my head, and I collapse from the pressure of a light item being on me.

I drop a chicken.
 
Adam and Jamie decide to re-build Buster after a particularly explosive test, and they decide to make this new Buster more advanced than anything they have ever built before, by making it biomechanical. Thus, they need a functional human heart and brain. They scope out a city street for several hours until I walk by, and they realize that my proportions are identical to the new body for Buster. They stalk me for a few days, observing my daily routine, and they hide in my bedroom until I come up to go to sleep. Adam clubs me in the head with a large metal pipe and Jamie discreetly steals my heart and brain, without leaving even a drop of blood behind (Or even cutting me open, for that matter. o.O), and they place me on my bed to make it look as though I died peacefully in my sleep.

I drop my electronic keyboard. With headphones. ^_^
 
I go into a mad rage and break your electronic keyboard, screaming at you for stealing my Really Long Suicidal Explanations thunder. You look at me confused and tell me that that is a stupid reason for me to break your beloved keyboard. Luckily, your headphones are still intact. You smirk and look down at them, and then grab them, and strangle me to death with headphones.

I drop my nose.
 
I poke the nose, expecting it to do something horrible and disfiguring to me like the Mythbusters did. It does nothing, so I pick it up. It feels wierd. Suddenly, it sneezes on me and I get sick from the germs. The cold turns into bronchitis, which becomes chronic, and I lose the aility to breathe, thus killing me.

I drop a guitar pick.
 
I sniff the guitar pick in a rather curious manner. But then throw it in the trash because I don't play a guitar and have no need for a guitar pick. The guitar pick, however, actually belongs to the infamous bassist of the band Raping Kittens, named Remina "Janet" Livingston. Janet invites me over to lunch and I'm all gung-ho over eating with someone famous, so I accept. We have lunch and have a nice chat, but it's obvious she's pissed off about me throwing out her favourite guitar pick, so she demands I replace it. I tell her that I can buy a new one, and then she smiles evilly, and says: "Oh no... no, that won't do." Janet grabs a knife and chops up my body into many guitar picks.

I drop Sirius Black.
 
Sirius is a really nice guy, and the two of us hang out for a while, me being all giddy over hanging out with a book character. We visit Alnwick castle, the place where they filmed a lot of the Harry Potter movies. Upon seeing the place where he was almost killed by Lupin as a werewolf, he suddenly snaps and goes into a psychotic rampage and I am forced to run into the tunnel beneath the Whomping willow to the Shrieking Shack. I run upstairs, only to fall through the floor of the ricktey old shack and land on an old board, which impales me.

I drop a paperback copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
 
I pick it up, and read it. However, this is a very special copy of the Order of the Phoenix, in that, the more the reader reads it, the more real it becomes! Slowly, my house turns into Hogwarts, and I'm actually a character IN Harry Potter. However, this makes J.K. Rowling very angry, because that's not supposed to happen in the books. So he makes Harry and all his friends hate the crap out of me, making me a Slytherin. Then she makes me a Death Eater. On the way to do some secret missions for Voldemort, I get trampled to death by a speeding Hippogriff, and die.

I drop a CD.
 
I put the CD in my stereo, volume on low to prevent Scare Chords from taking effect, since I don't know what has been downloaded to this CD. However, it turns out to be a low-frequency ambient drone that has sonic vibrations which cause the rupture of the eardrums of adolescent males only. I am put in the hospital, but will be unable to hear for the est of my life. Thus, I sink into a depression and inject into my bloodstream 100 milligrams of explodium. Guess what happens?

I drop the syringe.
 
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