That's actually slightly disgusting.
Anyway I finished it. You may have a sneak preview if you wish. If not just ignore the rest of this.
[Shi-Long Lang] Poochyena (M)
Ability: Quick Feet
Signature Move: Lang Zi Says
Shi-Long Lang (hereafter referred to as Shifu) is a descendant of a great Poochyena philosopher, Lang Zi. Lang Zi’s teachings comprise of intuitive battle styles and strategies that have been passed through the Lang family for millennia. Shifu is no exception to this, though in the heat of battle he can only remember and apply one teaching.
Type: Normal / Accuracy: 100% / Target: Self / Energy: 5%
Effects: Shifu recalls a random piece of ancient wisdom handed down by his ancestors and applies its teachings to the current situation. Each has an equal probability of being remembered. Possible teachings are as follows:
- “Lang Zi says: a cub who disrespects others will soon feel the disciplinary bite of an elder”. From this point onwards until the end of the battle, every time Shifu is attacked with a contact move, he will strike out quickly and counterattack his assailant, dealing 1% typeless damage, unless incapacitated (asleep, fully paralysed etc). This counterattack does not cost an action.
- “Lang Zi says: the timid never reach the land of truth”. Shifu’s confidence builds tenfold so he will never falter in battle, granting him Inner Focus in addition to all other abilities.
- “Lang Zi says: before aiming for the throat, chew the neck shield off first”. Shifu locates a weak point on the target and bites it savagely, dealing 3% typeless damage, lowering the target’s Defense by one level and raising Shifu’s critical hit ratio by 1.
- “Lang Zi says: on truth’s path, the word ‘probability’ does not exist”. The after-effects of Shifu’s moves have their probability raised by 5%; i.e. Astonish has a 35% chance to cause flinching, Fire Fang has a 15% chance to burn and a 15% chance to cause flinching etc.)
- “Lang Zi says: persistence soon turns into fixation”. Shifu is affected as though he were hit by Encore, repeating the last move he used before Lang Zi Says. If Lang Zi Says is the first move he used since being sent out, it will fail and be considered used up.
- “Lang Zi says: expect everything from a criminal”. Shifu readies himself for his opponent’s attacks, making him impossible to score a critical hit against.
- ”Lang Zi says: only cooperate with those you can trust”. Shifu becomes highly suspicious of his opponent, making moves based on trickery (those being Covet, Captivate, Attract, Sucker Punch, Feint, Trick, Switcheroo, Embargo, and Snatch) useless against him.
- ”Lang Zi says: until the root of the tongue dries, one never knows the whole truth”. Shifu can only use Howl, Roar, Taunt, Yawn, Uproar, Sleep Talk, Torment, or any other sound- or speech-based command for three actions.
- ”Lang Zi says: all men are brothers. And friends become family”. If recited in a double battle, has the same effect as Helping Hand on both Shifu and his ally for the next damaging move they use. If recited in a single battle, the move fails and is considered used up.
- ”Lang Zi says: one should always know one’s place in life”. All Pokemon in battle receive 1.5x STAB from same-type moves, but deal only 0.75x as much damage with non-STAB moves.
All effects last until Shifu leaves battle, unless otherwise stated.
Usage gap: once per battle.