Woah, you actually use LJ to communicate with teachers and such? Seriously? We're boring. Only one teacher uses the internet to upload assignments, and even then we have pre-assigned stuff.
Then again there was that comic thing - pfff
Well, yeah, I get that people generally aren't quite as fuzzy with family they don't see often - I mean my grandma's really nice and stuff, always gives me stuff, but I'm rather indifferent to her, because I hardly ever see her. I'm okay with my brother - likes to joke around, we have the same interests, but he has a short temper and is prone to tantrums. I can go on and on. In general, my family is pretty cool. But I just don't feel as close to them as I do my friends at school.
I... sort of feel like a bad person. I hear my friends talking about their family - remember A? She's totally selfish towards other people, often forcing people to swear on other people's lives to make sure they're not lying, "because I doubt your life is worth much". But I jokingly asked her if her grandma died when she ate some poisonous berries, and she's all srs face. "I'll kill you if you say that again." Thing is, I said something in a similar vein about someone else before, and she just laughed along. She's even rather rough towards who she says is her best friend. Why the huge gap in respect? I don't get it.
It's just... I don't know. I feel like I should love my family more. But at the same time, I hate doing things without a real concrete reason. Maybe I'm just being over-expectant, expecting reasons for everything, even things that have been ingrained in us because long ago it was necessary for survival? I mean, if I have kids (which is unlikely), I can't imagine loving them automatically. Sometimes I even think I'd end up killing them because they'd get on my nerves so much what with the bawling and all- and my train of thought ends there because the thought really unnerves me.