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1000 Things To Do In Walmart (or a big store)

971) Dress up as the Black Night from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and stand in one of the checkout lines. When somebody tries to pass you, say, "None shall pass."

970) Jump out at random people yelling, "You're a wizard, Harry!"

Bonus points if the guy's name is Harry.

969) In the movie/games/books section, give out all the spoilers for the new and popular movies/games/books.

968) Randomly start speaking in *insert language here*.

967) In the toys section, loudly ask when the porn is.
 
Ketsu said:
967) In the toys section, loudly ask when the porn is.
Click to expand...

I gotta try this. :D

966. Run around poking people and yelling "TAG! YOU'RE IT!"

965. Bring a few bottles of water into the bathroom, go into one of the stall and when there is 3+ people in the bathroom, pour the water in the toilet yelling:
1. "AHHH! IT BURNS!"
2. "SON OF A *Censored*
3. "AGH, DEAR LORD, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?" ;_;
 
Run around doing random Pokemon cries

And imitating Articuno, which I can do cuz I have vocal skill :P
 
^ I'm good at Camerupt!

963: Grab a gallon of honey and some feathers or oatmeal. Look for someone with a full cart, knock 'em outta the way, drench the cart in honey! Sprinkle feathers/oatmeal on top and... voila! Sticky, weird cart!
 
960: Ask for the manager, and once the clerk brings you to him, grab the manager's nose. Yell, "I GOT UR NOZE!"

959: Walk in, walk up to a random person, and yell, "61 HAS BEEN ACHIEVED! I AR AWESHUMENESH!"
 
958: Buy 24 boxes of condoms, then put them in people's carts when they're not looking.

957: Walk into a changing room, wait a while, then yell, "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!!"

956: Run around the store loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

955: When a voice comes on the speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "IT'S THE VOICES AGAIN!!!"

954: Go to the front desk and ask them to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-away.

953: While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk where the Anti-deppressants are.

952: When a worker asks you if they can help you, scream at them, "WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE?!!!"
 
951.) Go up to a person, take your Pokewalker off your belt, hold it out and yell, "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON MATCH!" If they pull out a Pokewalker, lose on purpose, then get really mad and punch 'em.

950.) Ask a guy what the capital of Taiwan is. If he get's it wrong yell "BANGKOK! BANG COCK" *Kicks in the crotch*
 
949: go to buy something that costs heaps, ask the people at the checkout how much it costs, and when they tell you, shout 'OBJECTION!'
 
948) Grab a TON of small stuff like candy, then unload at a snail's pace, then keep taking breaks/talking on your cell phone.

947) Get some really expensive stuff (For funniest effect) then pay entirely in pennies, then come one penny short.

946) Do as above and when you come a cent short say "OH WELL!" then grab your merchandise money and start walking away. If the casier tries to stop you, (Likely) act like he's beating you up to steal your money.
 
945) Look for a video game people never liked in the electronics department, and play frisbee with the disc.

944) Skip through the store singing "I Feel Pretty" at the top of your lungs, and into the face of anyone who looks at you funny.

943) Hide in a clothes rack behind the clothes and jump out screaming, "They're after me lucky charms!", then run away.

942) Buy a pocket watch, then run around the store screaming "I'm late for a very important date!" and see how many people follow you for a while.

941) Get a recording of the Great Mighty Poo singing his theme song, take it into a bathroom, wait for people to show up, then play the recording, scream "SHUT UP!!!" and then stop it. Walk out without flushing, and leave everyone scratching their heads.
 
940: Create a trail of tomato juice leading to the women's restroom.

939: When near security camera, walk up to it and act as if it's a mirror, like putting on makeup or fixing your hair.

938: Sing that song from A Chorus Line while dancing down aisle (you know, that one that's all like 'God I hope I get it, I hope i get it, how many peoplez doez he need how many boys how many girls...').

937: In the electronics department, at the phone's on display, pick one up and try to start texting or calling someone. Then loudly say, "What?! This isn't working!"

936: Wear the Halloween costume you wore last year around the store and ask the first employee you see, "Excuse me, I'm looking for the pharmaceutical section."

935: (one I do with my 21-year-old stepmom all the time) When with someone who appears to be an adult, yet still young (look at my stepmother's age), call them your mother. Works good if you're already a teenager or in your double-digits.

934: Read all the tabloids out loud at the check-out. Try using Vogue or CosmoGirl! if available.

933: Run throughout the store muttering loudly, "Must use potty, gotta find potty!"
 
932) Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.

931) Stand by the entrance and stare intently at anyone who enters.
 
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930) Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

929) Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.

928) Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.

927) Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, “...I’m Batman. Come, Robin—to the Bat cave!”

926) Run through random couples yelling "Chasity patrol!"
 
925: Buy an orange dragon costume and run around the store yelling "I AM CHARIZARD RAWR!"
924: Sit in front of a fan in the hairdresser's and when someone asks you what the heck you're doing tell them "I want this hairstyle."
 
923) Grab a thin, hard object and whack people with it yelling "THINK WITH YA DIPSTICK LADDY!"

923) When someone reaches for something, knock 'em outta the way, grab the item and yell "MINE!" Keep repeating with the same person.

921) Grab an old man/lady, drag them to an employee and say "This young man/lady would like to know where the lubricant and condoms are, please."
 
920: Buy a heap of chocolate, and pay for it with chocolate coins.(hey, I think I'm getting better at this one!)
919: Go into the bookstore and start reading a really huge dictionary.
918: Buy some biscuits and frisbee them at people on the lower floors.
 
917) Fill three carts with all sorts of shopping, take it to the counter, fumble with your wallet, mutter "Oh damn, left all my money at home.", and scoot.
 
916) Go to the bathroom and wait right by the door, dressed in a gorilla/sasquatch costume, and when people walk in, jump and scream, and try to pick at their hair when they're leaving.

915) While in the toy section, find a toy with a "TRY ME" button, and push in whenever somebody is passing by you. Pretend to be frightened, and flail your arms while running in circles and screaming about demons.
 
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