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Bumbletrek

Eifie

oh man, good times.
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give us a "you're probably wondering how I got into this situation" monologue, because I don't remember anything about this
 
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HJ: Recap





The MOSLING walks over to your BOOK OF RETROACTIVE PROPHECIES, which is probably one of the more useless imbued items you have. It begins reading.




JL woke up this morning with a hangover so bad he couldn't remember his own goddamn name. He fucked around his basement for a while, befriending CAPYBARFA, until he sobered up by drinking floor coffee. JL proceeded upstairs and created a few useless LUMP ITEMS before fighting a MONSTROUS CAPYBARA. He slaughtered the beast, caught a disease, and proceeded to learn how to craft again in making a vaccine. He walked out to his foyer and got his ass kicked by a LUMP CYCLOPS.

RT woke up from a fume-induced coma in his broom closet. He upgraded his lump machines, went to his room, got his wildly overpowered equipment, murdered a crab, got a hat, and came to JL's rescue.

CE woke up after a chunk of PROTEIN-POWDER FLAVORED ICE knocked her out. She kicked the shit out of all the monsters in her house due to her OBSCENELY HIGH BEEF STAT. She rendezvoused with JL and RT outside, but apparently missed one monster: the TENTACLED NERD.

HJ woke up after eating an unripe LUMP FRUIT and getting ADVANCED FOOD POISONING. She flipped a lever, watched an egg hatch, and received the MOSLING. She looked outside just in time to watch an ass-kicking as the TENTACLED NERD doused JL, CE, and RT with STATUS EFFECTS.

The TENTACLED NERD, CAPYBARFA, and MOSLING all got ART UPDATES.


Honestly, you can't remember why you bought this book. It only tells what happened in the past.
 
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The TENTACLED NERD takes a beefy swing at CE, smashing her ice and breaking her NUNCHUCKS in half.

RT gets sorta tired of this bullshit and deploys the GLASS CANNON. It fires a glorious-looking ball of glass that would make any special effect artist jealous. Wow, it sure is beautiful.




The FRACAS has ended in victory. Feels like it took months.

You all gain WAY TOO MUCH EXPERIENCE.

RT gaffles the TENTACLE, SMART, and MOIST lumps and saves them for later.

For some reason RT stops showing his armor in the artstyle.​
 
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All: Pet the capybara

CE: the fuck is this thing?
JL: this is my familiar his name is capybarfa
CE: oh


CE: he's soft
RT: God, I hate animals.
 
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