Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?
Well, yeah... If you have more than one opposite gender friend, you're not going to be in a romantic relationship with all of them. ...Unless you're
really polyamorous and somehow only end up being friends with people who are okay with that, I guess.
But about it causing "sexual tension" - assuming the guy in question (and they should really consider that an obsession with sex is not limited to guys) is straight, and also old enough to be interested in people anyway, then maybe. It probably depends on the person, and on their friends. A really shallow person who doesn't have m/any real friends is different than someone who loves and trusts all of their friends.
Also:
Uh... I don't know about you guys, but for me emotional attachment is a large part of sexual attraction. I'd be far more likely to be attracted to a friend of mine than a stranger.
This isn't true in every case, but I know that there are some of my friends who would be counted as less sexually attractive than some other girls at my school, and yet I am much more attracted to them due to emotional attachment.
This is an excellent point.
I know that there are people who consider themselves to have a "crush" on a person they've never even spoken to, but finding someone you see at school sometimes to be attractive and actually
liking a person is kind of different.
If you've known someone for a while, you at least feel friendly love toward them, which I think is similar enough that it can turn into romantic love. You already understand them, and you already know how to compromise and how to make up to them if you fight, and you've already been around them a lot. They say that your lover should be your friend. A relationship won't last long if it's based solely on physical attraction (which is why arranged marriages are supposed to work).
I have friends that if I didn't know them, I wouldn't find very attractive at all. But since I
do know them, then I'm aware of all their good traits - kindness, honesty, sense of humour, whatever - and that makes them more attractive as a person. On the flip side, you probably don't find someone you really dislike to be very attractive.
But it also seems to be built into at least some people to only like one person (at a time). So if they already have a girlfriend or boyfriend, they're less likely to notice their friends in that way.
Additionally, finding your friends attractive doesn't mean you can't
be friends, or you could only be friends with ugly people. The tension this would cause is potentially worse than the tension you feel in finding your friend attractive.
It also doesn't consider gay people. Would they only create true friendships with people of the opposite sex? Or is that impossible because the other person's sexual feelings will create uneasy tension?
Okay, obviously the answer here is that gay people can only have "true" friendships with gay people of the opposite gender so that no rogue feelings from anyone will get in the way. ...
oh wait that makes about as much sense as the article
Anyway, even if all friendships ever cause sexual tension, then it must be a normal thing so who cares. You can't fault people for something they can't help.
