How to Make a Man Ou of a Boy (Repost from the pre-forum crash days)

[Ether's Bane]

This thread regarding this article was made some time ago at the old forum.

Here's the link. Also, if you prefer, here's the article itself.

My only son David, is sixteen. God has called him to be a preacher, and his is already preparing for the ministry. A couple of summers ago while David was working as a cowboy at the Bill Rice Ranch, he was asked by Dr. Bill to preach on his local radio broadcast. Several people came to me telling of the blessings they received because of David's sermon; one person especially spoke highly of his radio message and asked me if I would be using David to preach at the First Baptist Church in Hammond. I replied in the negative! He was shocked and asked, "How do you expect to make a preacher out of David if you never let him preach?" My answer was, "I am not trying to make a preacher out of David; I am trying to make a man out of him, for if I can make him a preacher!" We have too many preachers now who are not men! I have spent thousands of hours trying to make a man out of my son. The words that follow will explain how I have tried and the methods I have used.

There is a great need for men of leadership and men of decision in every phase of our American life. The Kinsey report revealed that four per cent of our males over 16 years of age are homosexuals. In California, a sadly misguided preacher found to be a homosexual has founded a church for homosexuals. In the larger cities, clubs for homosexuals have been organized so they can meet regularly together. In our big cities there are homosexual men who live with other men and in a large city recently there was a wedding ceremony which united two men in matrimony. The "Gay" or homosexual community has its own beaches, restaurants, bars, and barber shops; its own tailor, gymnasiums, and apartment houses; its own books, magazines, and periodicals; its own male prostitutes and conventions.

The Wolfinder report says, "Homosexuality between adults in private could no longer be a criminal offense. It is not the law's business." A leading official of the United Church of Canada said, "The church should solemnize marriages between men."

In New York City the Homosexuality League polled 400 homosexuals and asked them, "If you could be cured, would you want to be cured?"

"No," was the answer given by 96% of the homosexuals polled.

Apart from the homosexual problem there is yet a great void in American life. We need men of conviction, discipline, integrity, decision, character, and leadership. Since nothing happens accidentally, if we rear a generation of such men, it must be done in the homes, in the churches, and in the schools, by the parents, pastors, and teachers.

Let us answer the question, "How can I make a man of my boy?"

1. Dress him like a man. As soon as his hair gets a bit shaggy, have it cut! It is better that little Johnny start life being masculine than to retain those beautiful ringlets at the age of two. Cut off those ringlets and make him look like a man. From the very first time that he is old enough to wear clothes, dress him like a boy, cut his hair like a boy, and make sure he always looks like a man. Teach him to be around boys that dress like boys. Teach him it is not Scriptural for a boy or man to have long hair or effeminate tastes in clothing. Read I Corinthians 11:14.

2. Teach him strict obedience. He will never be a good leader until he has learned to be an obedient follower, for, to be a leader, one must know the heartbeat of the follower so he will know how to handle followers. Let him know the rules; state them plainly so he knows what hey are. Tell him exactly what he penalty will be if he breaks a rule. Define the crime and the punishment so he knows before he commits it whether it will be worth it. If I were a boy eighteen years of age and my dad said to me, "You get home by 11:00 o'clock tonight; I'm going to fuss at you if you don't!" I might be tempted to spend an extra half hour with my girlfriend and take Dad's scolding. However, if my dad were to take the car away from me for a month if I were late returning home, I would stop to realize that any time I arrived home late I would stop to realize that any time I arrived home late I would be trading a few minutes with my girlfriend for a whole month of dates, and that is not a good bargain! Make the punishment so uncomfortable that it will not be worth it to break the rules. Make your son live by strict discipline and obedience. Teach him to say "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" and "No, ma'am."

3. Punish him immediately and properly. Do not jerk him up and call him a brat. Take him to his room, make him sit down, tell him what he did wrong, tell him what you are going to do, then do it and tell him why you did it. Make a big ordeal out of it. Make the punishment private, but make it immediate, proper, and plain.

4. Make him fulfill all obligations. When my boy was three and four years of age I started teaching him to pay his bills promptly and to fulfill his obligations completely. I would ask him, "Son, if a debt is due on the first of the month, when are you going to pay it?"

He would say, "On the first of the month."

Then I would ask, "Son, if an emergency arises and you cannot meet your obligation, what are you supposed to do?"

He would then reply, "I am supposed to go to the person I owe, shake his hand, look him in the eye, and have an understanding as to what can be done."

What the American male needs is honor, just plain, old, downright honor. We need men of the old school who sat straight in their chairs and led with firmness and love. When the kids walked in they felt like they were before a Supreme Court Justice. Maybe they didn't like him then or understand him, but later they rose up and called him, "blessed."

He was of the old school - a man who was very careful about going n debt, a man whose word was as good as his signature, a man who was upright, honest, aboveboard, and who helped his neighbor when he was in trouble. Teach your boy that promptness is a part of character. Teach him to take care of his obligations properly.

This is one of the things that is killing fundamentalism today. We have some shiftless, dirty, irresponsible, lackadaisical, sluggards who are fundamentalists that refuse to pay their debts, take care of their property, keep their word, press their pants, and shine their shoes. They know nothing of courtesy, etiquette, ethics and are bereft of integrity, honest, decency, and honor. Let this not be true in the life of your son.

5. Teach him physical coordination. I do not mean that he has to be a great athlete, but his body should be coordinated. Insist that he participate in athletics. It is a grave danger for a boy to be indoors too much and grow up not knowing how to coordinate his body properly.

6. Teach him to want to win. We have stressed to our children, "Be a good loser, be a good loser, be a good loser," until we have rubbed this good loser bit in the ground! I taught my boy to play to win. We have bragged on good losers until our boys have received more rewards for losing gracefully than winning properly. The result has been that we now have a nation of young people who do not want to fight for their country and who are willing to let the strongest nation on earth bow down in shame before a little nation like North Vietnam. It is tragic, but true, that I know hundreds of men who couldn't beat their wives at Chinese checkers. Junior has been taught to be a good loser; he has been rewarded for being a good loser, so winning becomes less and less important.

I was approached by a pastor in Rockford, Illinois. He was somewhat effeminate and less than a man. He came to me and with his dainty voice he said, "Dr. Hyles, can I ask you a question? You strike me as being a very poor loser. Is that true?" I looked at him, paused a moment, and answered, "Don't know . . . I ain't never lost!"

If you are going to make a man of your boy, teach him to be a winner. Yes, he must accept loss gracefully, but he should never enjoy losing. This is where we get our General MacArthurs. This is how Billy Sundays are made. Teach your boys to want to win.

7. Make him play with boys and with boys' toys and games. Let him play with guns, cars, baseballs, basketballs, and footballs. As soon as I could I taught my boy to play baseball and football. When he was about thirteen I bought him an air rifle. When he was fifteen I bought him a .22 rifle. Invariably, when someone admits to me he is a homosexual he relates that he played a lot with girls and participated in feminine activities.

8. Compliment character, not talent. Never has David stood up on the hearth at home to sing a song for applause. I have never applauded him for his talent, but many times I have applauded him because he obeyed. Compliment his character, not his talent. It will make a better man of him.

9. Do not keep him "under your thumb." Let him spend the night with other boys (good Christian boys). Send him off to camp in the summertime, even when he is seven or eight years of age. Let him learn how to kill a snake, put frogs in his pocket, tie a knot, and build a fire. Let him get blisters on his feet and at an early age let him start doing what men ought to do.

If the music director doesn't choose him for a singing group, don't be the kind of parent that complains in defense of the boy's talent. If care is not taken, you will rear a boy that expects you to come to his rescue and bail him out every time he is in trouble. If he is going to be a man someday, he must start in childhood having some responsibilities, some discomforts, and some manly obligations. He will not jump from being a little boy into being a man; it is a gradual process. Be sure this natural process is allowed to develop.

10. Always stand for proper authority. Not long ago one of my staff members came to me complaining that his boy was disciplined too heavily by his church choir director. I lovingly warned my staff member that he should thank God that his boy was being disciplined. If the punishment is too severe, it will still be a lot better for him than for the boy to learn that his dad will not take his side over proper authority.

One of our finest boys who is going to be a preacher came to my office the other night and said, "Brother Hyles, my teacher is persecuting me."

"Why?" I asked.

He said, "I come to church on Wednesday nights and am so busy in activities that I don't get all my homework done, and my school teacher is going to give me a bad grade for that."

"She ought to," I said.

"Well," he said, "I have been coming to church faithfully."

I said, "Okay, then, study when you are at home, but don't come to me because your grade is bad when you don't do your work." The boy who is going to become a real man must learn to respect authority.

11. Teach him to defend himself. Yes, you read it right. Teach him self-defense. Yes, you still read it right. Teach him how to fight. Teach him to be rugged enough to defend his own own, his home, his loved ones, and his friends.

When David was just five years of age, I bought him a pair of boxing gloves. In fact, I bought one pair for David and one pair for the boy across the street. I got them together and let them box. The boy punched David in the nose; David wanted to quit, but I wouldn't let him. I was going to teach him how to defend himself, how to be a man- physically a man, emotionally a man, mentally a man, and spiritually a man. He learned to fight until now he can protect his sisters.

One day when David was about nine I looked out through the upstairs window and saw him across the street straddling a little fellow and beating him up. He was hitting him right in the face until blood was coming. I ran down the stairs, out the door, across the street and pulled him off. "Son, what in the world are you doing?" I said.

He looked up with quivering lips and with anger in his eyes said, "Dad, he was calling my sister (Linda) a dirty name."

I said, "Then get back on him and let him have it!" When I walked away he was back on him again beating him up. God pity this weak-kneed generation which stands for nothing, fight for nothing, and dies for nothing.

12. Teach him to shop alone. By the time he is around ten or eleven years of age let him shop by himself for a few things. There is nothing any more disgusting than to see a big eighteen-year-old boy trying on pants at the men's shop with his little mother breathing down his neck. Maybe be won't match his socks exactly with his tie, but I would rather he be a man than to have matching tie and socks. Now, to be sure, my preference is that he be both proper and a man.

The other day I saw a big six-foot, two-inch eighteen-year-old boy walking in a store beside his five-foot, four-inch mother. The salesman asked, "What size do you wear son?"

His mother said, "He wears a 42."

The salesman asked, "Son, do you want something single-breasted or double-breasted?"

The mother replied, "He wants single-breasted."

There were two words I would like to have used to that lady. The first one is "shut" and the second, "up." Mothers, let your boys become men. One of these days he will grow up and have to marry a mother instead of a wife. His wife will have to pick out every tie he wears, lay it on the bed every morning, and burp him before he goes to bed at night. What you will have is a grown son who will have to marry a mother or he won't be happy. You are robbing some lady of having a man for a husband and you are robbing your boy of ever having a chance to be a man. If he is going to be a man of decision someday, let him make some decisions now. He is not going to lead a big corporation if he cannot buy his own tie by the time he is old enough to make the football team.

At a very early age a boy should start making his own decisions. Now, to be sure, there should be governing and overseeing, and there should be limits, but if he is someday going to make decisions that are going to affect a great church, city, nation, or corporation, he must be taught while a little child to make the decisions about what socks he is going to wear.

13. Talk to him like a man. Some mothers say to their sixteen-year-old boy, "Take the garbage out, baby," "Bye-bye, sweetheart," "Good morning precious," "Be sure you are back on time, sugar baby," or "Be careful, honey doll." Talk to him like a man! When he becomes a teenager, don't kiss him in public unless he initiates it.

No teenage boy ever comes into my office and is treated anything less than man to man. The teenage boys walk in my office like men, they dress like men, they shake my hand like men, they look me in the eye and talk to me like men, and they say, "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" like gentlemen. Don't treat the boy like a baby if you want him someday to be a man.

14. Give him work, authority, and responsibility. Be sure he knows how to work (for that matter, I think a boy should know how to take suffering, pain and punishment.) That is one reason I like sports. When David was just five years old I got a baseball, went out in the yard knocked him grounders, and gave him a quarter for every one he could catch. he didn't make a single quarter. I hit them too hard. They bounced up and hit him in the chest, in the nose, in the head, and in the shoulder. He came in bruised and broken, but more a man.

Give your boy responsibility. Give him something to do as regular work and make him responsible for it. Don't breathe down his neck. Teach him to have initiative.

One of the reasons ladies oft times turn out to be better leaders than men is that city life is conducive to this. There are not many chores for boy to do like milking the cows, chopping the wood, etc. There are chores for the girls. What happens? Boy grow up without any chores, no milking cows, no feeding pigs, not gathering eggs, no chores like we had on the farm or at he edge of town. Girls, however, can iron, keep house, cook, wash and dry the dishes. Hence, they are taught initiative, whereas the boys find few masculine duties to perform. Hence, the parent must work hard to find masculine-type duties.

I never let my boy do feminine chores. The dish washing has been done by the girls. He does no ironing, etc. He must keep his room clean and tidy, but his chores have been masculine chores such as cleaning the basement, taking out the garbage, having an afternoon job, moving the yard, etc.

A few years ago Dr. Bill Rice wrote me and said, "Dr. Hyles, would David like to have a pony?" I thought, "Where in the world are we going to keep a pony?" Well, I said we would find some place. We went to a neighbor who has a big shed. Yes, right in the city we had a pony. At night the phone would ring and it would be the police department calling, "Do you have a horse? It is running down Schreiber Street." After a while every time the phone would ring at night I would pick it up and say, "Where is the horse now?"

I told David, "Son, you wanted the horse, you have to feed him." David would get up in the morning, trudge through the snow in sub-zero weather, carry a water bucket in one hand and a bag of feed in the others, and go feed the horse. He learned to ride the horse even though he horse spent more time at the police station than he did in the shed. David owned one of the few ponies in America who had a police record.

A boy needs responsibility; he also needs to assume authority. Give him that responsibility and authority and teach him to work.

15. Do not make a mold for your boy. If you are a lawyer, don't decide before he is born that he is going to be a lawyer. If you are a preacher, let your son decide what God wants him to do. Don't let him think you will be disappointed if he is not what he thinks you want him to be. Now everyone knows that I would like for David to be a preacher, but I will let God decide that. If David becomes an honest man of character and becomes the best garbage collector in Hammond, his dad will be proud of him. It would be wrong for me to make a mold for him.

16. Give him opportunities to lead. Though David is younger than my oldest daughter I always preferred to leave him in charge of the family. When I am away on a trip, it is understood that David does the manly chores. He has learned to be protective of his sisters and the house. The family feels as safe when he is there as when I am there. He has been taught and trained to be physically capable as well as emotionally capable.

17. Teach him to have proper heroes. This is one of the greatest things my mother ever did for me. She pointed to men whom I could emulate and who could be my heroes. I tried to become like those men. I will be eternally grateful for the fact that my mother gave me heroes. This is one reason why parents should choose a church with a masculine pastor. Mothers and dads should be able to say to their sons, "Grow up and be like your pastor," without having to fear that he will be effeminate. It is wise for the parents to choose older boys who are gentlemen and yet real men and set them as examples for boy. Proper athletic heroes, Sunday school teachers, manly pastors, and older boys could be chosen.

David and I have been buddies form his infancy. He always waits for me after church and rides home with me. Since I have duties to perform I always come home later than the rest of the family, but David has always waited for me. As a little boy four or five, he wanted to wait for Daddy. Now as a teenage boy on the basketball team, he still wants to wait for Dad. For years I drove him home and now he drives me home.

Recently David had to wait two and a half hours on Sunday evening for his dad. When we got home someone asked him why he didn't come home earlier with the rest of the family. He replied that he wanted to wait for his dad. Then they asked him, "What did you do for two and a half hours alone out in the hall?"

David stood up and with masculine physique and presentation he said, "I will tell you what I did for that two and a half hours alone in the hall: I walked up and down the hallway realizing how many people would love to wait two and a half hours to get to ride home with Dr. Jack Hyles, and I thanked God that I have the privilege."

Nearly seventeen years ago I got on my knees over the body of my only son and prayed for God to make him a man. I never prayed that he would be a preacher; I prayed that he would be a man, a Christian man with integrity, discipline, leadership, ability, courtesy, gentleness, strength and honor; yes, in every way, a real man. I have tried now for almost seventeen years to help him become a man. I think he will, I believe I am now ending my work that I sent out to do that day. I think I have about made, with God's help, a man out of a boy.

My opinions on this:

Prologue: No, just no. Discrimination at its finest.
Point 1: No opinion on this.
Point 2: Understandable. I actually agree with him to an extent on this.
Point 3: Fine, except the whole "make a big ordeal of it" part, save for a select few cases.
Point 4: No opinion again.
Point 5: O_________O <---------- That was my reaction upon reading Point 5. That's simply ridiculous.
Point 6: Competitiveness is okay, but not when it goes too far. This is going too far.
Point 7: Okay, minus the guns.
Point 8: And why the hell should you not?
Point 9: I can see why some parents would do so, as they want their kid to be "exposed to the world", but the fact of the matter is that many of us just have zero interest in this type of stuff. (Me included.) As for the second part, understandable, but there are times when you just have to get involved.
Point 10: I don't see what the above anecdote has anything to do with Point 10.
Point 11: No, no, no! If you want him to learn self-defense, send him for goddamn karate/taekwondo/whatever!
Point 12: Most parents already do this. Next.
Point 13: Actually, I completely agree with this one.
Point 14: For the first part, no, he didn't come back "more of a man"! He probably gained a hatred for baseball instead. For the second part, there are no such things as "masculine" and "feminine chores".
Point 15: Now THIS is more like it, though it would contradict some of the earlier points.
Point 16: Sure.
Point 17: He should look up to whoever inspires HIM, not YOU.

---

In conclusion, I believe that he's mostly off the mark, although he does make some good points. But, what do YOU think?

 

[Momoharu]

I now realize being a man involves learning to kill snakes and properly shine your shoes.

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

All I see is a long list of ways to emotionally distance yourself from your child, mold him into a carbon-copy of you and ultimately lead him to emotional and mental damage.

 

[foreign contaminant]

enough of these things happened to my dad. my dad is assuming, judgmental, dishonest, and verbally abusive to my mother and my brother. we don't talk much; his reason is, "i operate on 'logic'" whereas my mother operates on "i don't know what".

 

[Valerunner]

While I disagree on the motives or even some of the methods, it does raise a few good points.

I've seen kids raised in a religious household and they're at least respectful of people around them. Ignoring the self-righteous stuff their parents and in turn they spit out, these people have good morals. Don't knock it 'til you try it.

Though I admit this is a bit extreme, especially 1.

 

[Tailsy]

Uh, Grimdour, you can't be both self-righteous and respectful.

 

[Harlequin]

:( I shop with my mother.

(okay that's because she's willing to spend £££ on me as long as she's there, but still.)

 

[opaltiger]

When we find ourselves believing that killing a man makes us more of a man but loving a man makes us less of a man, it’s probably time to re-examine our criteria for manhood.

in other words, holy shit I'm glad my parents aren't insane

ps. any father who insists on being called "sir" should have his kid taken away immediately

 

[Shiny Grimer]

#4 applies to everyone. Is this saying that women shouldn't pay their debts on time (or should they just leave it to their BIG STRONG MEN)?

I'm glad my parents aren't stupid.

EDIT: Oh my gosh, that thing people say about Americans having a fetish for heros is true! I don't know about you, but I never had (or needed) a hero (I was my own hero 8D j/k). I mean, my dad's always talking about the American obsession with having heros and being a hero (and even points to superheros as an example) and says it represents the individuality since it's usually one awesome hero that has to fix everything instead of working in a team, and I know that Hetalia's characterization of America as a dude obsessed with heroism has to come from somewhere, but holy shiz, I've never seen someone actually say "You must have heroes!"

 

[Tailsy]

I think Hetalia!America is a HERO because America tends to think it saves the day. See: everything they've ever been in.

 

[Shiny Grimer]

I think Hetalia!America is a HERO because America tends to think it saves the day. See: everything they've ever been in.

Of course America has to save the day, all the time! America is a nation of heroes, of course. :sunglasses:

Hm, maybe this explains a lot of the weird arrogance that the stereotypical American is supposed to have! I wonder if, perhaps, the "REAL AMERICANS" (not sure what that means but bear with me!) see themselves as heroes helping out the poor other people of the world. If this were true, everything would make sense now!

So this cult of heroism (not actually a cult but I'm running out of words) would naturally extend to attitude regarding everything. "America saved Britain's ass in WWII because we're heroes and just that cool. :sunglasses:" "We gave money to Cuba, so we're heroes. Cuba just sucks too much to take it." "I gave some Nigerian kids a dollar the other day; their lives are so much better now that they got to see a real American." (yes, there are people that actually do this and consider themselves totally awesome for it).

See, in Cuba, at least, the 'ideal' (is that the right word?) is to be a good team member. I guess this comes from being a Communist society, but I think it goes further back in Cuba's history~. Being a good team member is everything! Working together with a team is considered way more important than an individual doing everything. (We'll show these creeps the real superpower of teamwork! was sonic a communist?) Working for someone else's sake is considered important, too, as opposed to doing things for yourself or for the glory. I guess this is why so many Cubans that immigrate to the USA are confused by the 'hero culture'.

Or maybe I didn't have enough sleep and I'm trying to analyze an entire culture through a pamphlet... you decide!

 

[#1 bro]

the intro bit about homosexuality made it seem like this article would be one of those crazy, fstdt-style things one has no choice but to hate, but like everyone said, this guy makes a few reasonable points, despite, you know, being a bigoted fundamentalist asshole. he's sort of mixing some decent parenting advice with some advice on how to not make your child one of those goddamn man-loving queers which is gross but noble i guess. still, i feel like his child is probably a pretty happy guy right now, albeit one with a few misguided views on stuff like gender roles and ethics and whatnot.

"compliment character, not talent" is a very good point. i feel like too much of telling a kid how great their singing is or how pretty they are or how smart they are or blah blah blah could give a child a bit of a superiority complex. #9, the bit about not being too overprotective with your child is pretty much 100% true (except for the "good christian boys" line but i'll let that slide). "do not make a mold for your boy" is also very true.

but then you have all that stuff about making sure your kid's hair isn't too long, or making sure he plays football, which is of course stupid. then there's this truly horrible quote:

One day when David was about nine I looked out through the upstairs window and saw him across the street straddling a little fellow and beating him up. He was hitting him right in the face until blood was coming. I ran down the stairs, out the door, across the street and pulled him off. "Son, what in the world are you doing?" I said.

He looked up with quivering lips and with anger in his eyes said, "Dad, he was calling my sister (Linda) a dirty name."

I said, "Then get back on him and let him have it!" When I walked away he was back on him again beating him up. God pity this weak-kneed generation which stands for nothing, fight for nothing, and dies for nothing.

about the whole "be a man" thing: when you're talking about someone who's a "real man", there's like a huge spectrum of what that could mean. the stupidest definition of a "real man" is probably "someone who has sex a lot and drinks a lot of beer and farts and doesn't respect anything women say" while the best is something like "someone who strives to always do the right thing and stand up for others". this guy's definition seems to be somewhere in the middle.

i probably will never have kids, but if i ever do, i'm not going to resort to using some creepy, pavlov-esque method of programming my kid that i read in some parenting book. i think i'll just keep it simple: accept my child for who (s)he is, even if it's the complete opposite of me (obviously i won't care how "manly" my hypothetical son is, that goes without saying), make sure my kid feels safe and loved when (s)he's at home, teach him/her right from wrong, and tell him/her to always keep an open mind. i'll try to be there for them when they need it, but not be too overbearing. etc.

 

[goldenquagsire]

Preamble is utter bullshit.
#1 This is also bullshit. Good manners and discipline does not correlate with good appearance.
#2 This is quite good advice apart from the "yes sir" bit which is kinda creepy.
#3 Quite good advice actually.
#4 Also very good advice. I can't stand being in debt. Honesty, integrity and punctuality are also quite good things.
#5 It's horribly hypocritical of me to say it but this is also good.
#6 I don't really get this paragraph at all. Striving to win is good I guess but humility is a good trait as well.
#7 Bullshit?
#8 Dunno about this one. I always thought that complimenting achievements means you'll want to achieve more.
#9 Aside from the more questionable elements (snake killing and Christian boys) this is also quite reasonable.
#10 I think this needs to be balanced somewhat. Yes, there is a time and a place for authority, but people should learn when it's right to question the powers that be.
#11 I don't really agree with this. Aggression just begets more aggression. You should only fight if you have to.
#12 This is a fair point. Teaching independant decision-making is always good.
#13 Now this is just being a spoilsport. A little informality never hurt anyone.
#14 This is good advice except the bit about masculine and feminine chores. That kind of crap /really/ annoys me. Everyone should learn how to do housework and it should be shared equally.
#15 Really, really good advice.
#16 ...hrm, I dunno. I take offence to the idea that younger brothers should have authority over their older sisters. Also, leadership isn't for everyone.
#17 I think this contradicts #15 somewhat. Let him choose his own heroes based on what he wants to do with his life.

Hrm. Aside from the Christian rhetoric, this guy does make a lot of good points about raising children properly. The real issue I have with the article is that this isn't about raising manly boys, it's about raising well-adjusted, functioning members of society. Masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with it; a soft-spoken, gentle and effeminate guy can be just as well-mannered and honest as a masculine guy.

 

[spaekle]

1. Pff, wow. Just no.

2. If you never give the kid the opportunity to be a leader himself, I doubt he'll ever be more than a follower. Leaders make the rules. And fuck that yes sir/yes ma'am shit. Teach him to be respectful, not to treat you like you're his CO or something.

3. This isn't a bad idea, provided you don't do it over every little thing.

4. God dammit, the kid's four years old. Give him the chance to sit in the yard with a stick for a while.

5. Teaching him to be active isn't bad at all, but he shouldn't have to participate specifically in sports if he doesn't want to. There are plenty of ways to get fit. :\

6. Lol, someone is 'less than a man' because they're 'somewhat effeminate'? And to this dude, 'effeminate' probably means his hair was a tad over his ears. Or that he 'couldn't beat his wife at chinese checkers' (wtf?)

But anyway, I don't think the problem is that kids are being taught to lose well, but the fact that kids are being taught that they never lose. I don't think it's a bad thing at all to teach kids to want to win, but you should teach them to be honest with themselves when they lose too. This "I've never lost" attitude this dude seems to have really isn't a good thing.

7. GI Joe is a fucking doll. /question

8. This doesn't seem bad, but I think you should stress that anything can become a talent if you love it and work at it enough. Praising talent alone tends to make people feel like they don't need to work any harder at what they do.

9. Teach the kid to be independent, okay, but I don't get how putting frogs in your pocket or killing snakes are life skills any more. I'd say teaching self-sufficiency should be more of a goal than HEY LOOK AT ALL THE MANLY SHIT I CAN DO.

10. Ehhhh, this is the "authority is always right just because it's authority" attitude. Maybe the teacher really was being unreasonable here. Look into how much homework is being given, whether the kid is actually making a good attempt at finishing it all and is simply unable to, and so on. Possibly even consider if there's some extracurricular thing he could drop because it's getting to be too much to handle.

11. Uh, wtf? Maybe teach self-defense if he's going to live in downtown Manhattan and you're afraid he'll get mugged or something, but "lol he called my sister a dirty name" is not a reason to encourage jumping on someone for.

12. Not picking out your own clothes by 18 is pretty sad, yeah, but I think this dude is seriously exaggerating the effects of this. o_o

13. Again I can agree, I guess.


eh, I don't care about the last four. I have this stuck in my head now.

 

[J.T.]

this guy makes a few reasonable points, despite, you know, being a bigoted fundamentalist asshole.

You don't know the half of it.

The man's a nutter. Yes, he has some good points, but he's a nutter nonetheless. If you've looked at any other of Jack Hyles' articles, he's a fucking lunatic.

Just a sample of his other work on 3 different sites; jesus-is-savior.com, jesus-is-lord.com, and jackhyles.net (really bad parts are bolded):

Girls should not be allowed to play alone with boys. The parents should see to it that she plays with other girls. This is important for many reasons. She should play only with toys that are uniquely for girls. This, by all means, should include dolls, doll clothes, housecleaning equipment, dishes, pots and pans, etc. She should participate in sports enough to become coordinated but she should not excel in sports. If later she marries a man who is very athletic, she could become more proficient in some particular sport that he enjoys, but if she becomes an expert in a sport that is usually associated with men and boys, it could prove embarrassing to her future husband, and for that matter, it could entice her to become more masculine than she ought to be.

A woman beating a man at something? Say it isn't so!

Recently a young lady in Hyles-Anderson College came to my office in tears and completely broken. I asked her what was the trouble. She said, "Dr. Hyles, I am a fallen woman."

I said, "Oh, my, I'm sorry!"

She said, "I know I have broken your heart. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. I know my parents will be heartbroken! My pastor will be crushed! I know, Brother Hyles, that I have hurt you deeply."
[...]
She said, "Brother Hyles, I held a boy's hand."

Though I continued to look concerned, I could not help but rejoice inwardly. To her, to become a fallen woman was to hold a boy's hand. She had stayed so far away from sin that when she did stumble, she was far enough away from the edge of sin not to go into sin itself How tragic it is that many schools have their rules just between temptation and sin! The only rules are those which keep young people from sin. Why not make rules that keep them from temptation? Then why not make rules that keep them from enticement? Then why not make rules to prevent enticement in order to keep the young people even farther from death? If sin brings death, let us stay away from sin. If temptation brings sin, let us stay away from temptation. If enticement brings temptation, let us stay away from enticement.

So just to recap: His talk about sin and damnation scared a girl so much, she was in hysterics about holding a boy's hand. And he considered this a good thing.

QUESTION: At what age should the parent begin teaching the Bible to the child?

ANSWER: I taught the Bible to each of our children as soon as he was home from the hospital. Every night I would tell a Bible story. I would act it out. I would take stories like "Jonah and the Whale," "David and Goliath," "Daniel in the Lion's Den," etc. and tell the entire story using such things as pantomime, monologue, etc. I did this practically every night at bedtime from the time the children were a week old.

Hope he didn't decide to act out the wars and genocides.

QUESTION: At what age should the child be taught the plan of salvation?

ANSWER: I taught our children the plan of salvation regularly from the time they came home from the hospital. Now I do not know when such truths begin to register in the mind of a child. Since I do not know when, I want to be sure I am telling the child the truth of God and the way to Heaven when that time does arrive.

Yes, let's teach a newborn child who can't even understand the meaning of "yes" and "no" about how to get into heaven.

Ladies, most of your husbands are fine men. Wouldn't it be a shame for your guy to live and die without having what is his rightful heritage? How pitiful! How tragic! I wish I could help you realize the purpose for which God made you. I wish I could get you to get to your man and help make that man all that God wants him to be. Complete him. Then you'll know what it is to be happy.

Do you know what these women's libbers are? They are a group of confused women trying to find happiness and failing because they are searching for it outside of God's Word and God's plan.

You say, "I have my rights too!

No, you don't. Not yet! A woman does not have any right in this world until she's done this. You check in the Bible. Always in the Bible the first command is to the follower. In Ephesians 5:22, for example, it says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands." Then in verse 25 it says, "Husbands, love your wives." Who's supposed to start it? The wife!

It says in Ephesians 6:1, "Children, obey your parents." Then in verse 4 it says, "Fathers ... bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

What does it mean? God gives the command first to the follower. He says, "I want the wife to do her job first." That means you have no rights until you do your job. That means He wants the child to obey first. That means He wants the child to obey even if the dad is never the right kind of dad. That means a child is supposed to obey, regardless!

I hate to pick out only one thing wrong with all of that, but think about the implications of that last paragraph. "Obey everything your father says without question before he does anything to you!"

Teach her strict obedience. Other chapters stress the fact that obedience is the most necessary ingredient to be required from the child. This is especially true in the life of a girl, for she must be obedient all of her life. The boy who is obedient to his mother and father will someday become the head of the home; not so for the girl. Whereas the boy is being trained to be a leader, the girl is being trained to be a follower. Hence, obedience is far more important to her, for she must someday transfer it from her parents to her husband.

This means that she should never be allowed to argue at all. She should become submissive and obedient. She must obey immediately, without question, and without argument. The parents who require this have done a big favor for their future son-in-law.

In case you didn't get enough evidence that the man's a misogynistic asshat.

And possibly the worst of it:

10. The spanking should be administered firmly. It should be painful and it should last until the child's will is broken. It should last until the child is crying not tears of anger but tears of a broken will. As long as he is stiff, grits his teeth, holds on to his own will, the spanking should continue.

In short: Some of the points are good. The man making them is anything but.

 

[Momoharu]

Also, I find it hilarious that he says having long hair is bad according to the Bible, yet Samson never cut his hair until he became powerless.

gg pastor.

 

[Zhorken]

The advice varies and is sometimes good but the mentality that the goal here is to ~be a man~ is disgusting. Discrimination towards both sexes at once! Fantastic.

 

[spaekle]

Also, I find it hilarious that he says having long hair is bad according to the Bible, yet Samson never cut his hair until he became powerless.

gg pastor.

I've never seen Jesus depicted with short hair, have you? :v

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

 

[Vladimir Putin's LJ]

I've never seen Jesus depicted with short hair, have you? :v

I'll be the buzzkill here and say the earliest representations of Jesus actually show him with short hair and an underdeveloped beard, which iirc is the likeliest explanation due to the place he was at and the time etc. I'm not sure though since I haven't done much indept research on Jesus' facial and bodily hair.

I know he was short and ugly and not aryan as all the modern paintings show but that's all :v