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King of the Hill

Oh, but I am the doctor. (and I've never gotten a paper cut, let alone in my eye.)

I call the SRU for stolen property and regain the HILL. MY HILL!
 
(And I have a First Aid certificate... Sea Cadet Corps., not St John's Ambulance!)

I come in and breach the 4th Wall and it blows your mind!!! My HILL!
 
The 4th wall was already broken, therefore my mind was not blown, and I never lost the hill. My HILL!
 
I show you examples of 4th wall breaches that have nothing to do with Ponies... Then I show you some Pony 4th Wall breaches! That DOES blow your mind! Er, My HILL!
 
I show you that plug-in cords exsist in four dimensions.
I steal the will while your mind is blown. MY HILL
 
(I meant to say hill, but I guess I could have changed custody of the hill to me upon your death and with your mind blown you where pretty much dead so I guess that worked out...)
I claim your hill for Antarctica High School. I am the principal.
MY HILL
 
I come back and reclaim my title of Pokémon Professor which brings with it a whole new HILL seeing as I'm not going to get involved when the Silver Werewolves decide they don't like you being HEADMASTER of a school in their territory... My (new) HILL!
 
(But Antartica High is a giant coastal school for penguins and the one giraffe.)
I run from them and push you in front. They kill and eat you then leave. I take the hill since you never changed it back in the will. MY HILL
 
Except I'm half Silver Werewolf and am very close with all 3 of the last remaining Silver Werewolves (even though I do enjoy teasing one of them) so we unite to reclaim My HILL!
 
I nuke the hill then claim a new one
MY HILL
(Well, I'm getting off before I get in trouble...bye.)
 
And seeing as you're leaving, me, Samantha, Zeed and my old man all claim the HILL!

(And I'm getting tired and hungry myself... 0015 here, y'know?)
 
While you come up with absurd ways to claim the hill, I sneak up and plant a bomb in your clothes and detonate from the bottom of the hill, then run to the top to claim my reward in the name of Samantha! MY HILL
 
I use Clarke's Third Law to appear to use magic.
You then run off the hill screaming that magic is real and I claim the hill.
my hill
 
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I come legging it past you, seemingly randomly, but then... Then you see them... The Sock Puppets! Duh duh dunn! We all leg it in fear, but I sneakily double back and claim the HILL in your absence! My HILL!
 
I have Rage's night wolf, Chain, attack you. He chases you down the hill and I claim it for Spain.
MY HILL
 
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