• Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.

    Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.

    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

Lines you won't find in the Bible.

On the 19th day,Our Lord created fruits as sweet as sugar, which ironically had not been invented quite yet. All were sweet indeed, execpt for the lemon. That was a fluke.
 
And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, Groudon forged the Earth with it's bare claws, while God watched and drank a coke.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God buried Groudon, then gave birth to Kyogre.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God realised that he was a woman.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God invented sex change surgeons.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God invented a machine to grant himself infinite power.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God reforged that machine into cattle prods, due to the fact that he didn't need it.

And on the [insert number here]st/nd/rd/th day, God invented cattle. Then burgers. Then coke. Then the universe was torn (while God watched and drank a coke) in two because coke had now been invented twice by the same person.
 
And the people did say regarding Jesus, "Burn the witch!" And they did peruse him for some distance, and they were wielding torches and pitchforks. Eventually they gave up on their pursuit, and Jesus was able to rest for a while.

"Smite me, O mighty smiter!"

And as Noah led all the animals into the ark, the rain began to fall, and so they all had to board quickly, and so it came to be that the unicorns and the dinosaurs all came to be drowned.

[Information Classified]
 
And on the 354667565th day, God said "you know, I'm getting really fucking bored with this creation stuff."

And on the first day, God said "let there be light!". And that's it. That's all he did the entire day. Then he just buggered off and went to sleep or something. Lazy sod.
 
God said "Let there be light!"

Chuck Norris said "Uh Uh Uh, you didn't say the magic word!"

Get the reference to what Chuck Norris said or else you will be eaten by a Liopleurodon!
 
And on the seventh day, God wanted to rest, but he couldn't because it was his turn to scoop the litter box.
 
"Consider the birds. Do they have jobs?"
"Have the birds got jobs?!"
"What's the matter with him?"
"He says the birds are scrounging."
"Oh, uhh, no, the point is the birds. They do all right. Don't they?"
"Well, good luck to 'em."
"Yeah. They're very pretty."
"Okay, and you're much more important than they are, right? So, what are you worrying about? There you are. See?"
"I'm worrying about what you have got against birds."
"I haven't got anything against the birds. Consider the lilies."
"He's having a go at the flowers now!"
"Oh, give the flowers a chance!"
"Ohh. Look. There was this man, and he had two servants."
"What were they called?"
"What?"
"What were there names?"
"I don't know. And he gave them some talents."
"You don't know?!"
"Oh, they were called 'Simon' and 'Adrian'. Now--"
"Oh! You said you didn't know! He's making it up as he goes along!!!"



(Sure, just quoting Life of Brian is lazy, but what are ya gonna do.)
 
"Let there be light! But no Garchomps on a wi-fi battle, because I don't have the Pokemon the counter it."
 
I. Thou shalt have no god before me.
II. Thou shalt not carve graven images.
III. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain.
IV. Remember the Sabbath day.
V. No items.
VI. Final destination.
VII. Fox only.

(Probably been done before, meh.)
 
I. I cut myself.

II. I see the synagogue, but where's the pool hall?

III. Jesus entered the temple, and began to e.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom