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Lines you won't find in the Bible.

Lord Jon Stall said:
In think that was.

And on the 84,029th day God Said, "Gotta Catch 'em All!"
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"On the Xth day God said a meme" type lines aren't funny. The trick is integration, which may not increase the humour but is more original.

Lets see:

And Michael and his angels did battle, and the Dragon and his angels did battle, and the Dragon did say, "IM FIRIN MA LAZAR!"

The above is probably as bad, but you get the idea. (I also do not guarantee the accuracy of any meme contained in the above line)

So, moving on:

And thus did David sign up for the X-factor.

And the brothers and sisters of Jesus were getting too rowdy, and thus Mary said to Jesus, "Son, whilst thou allow thine siblings to annoy your mother? Go, therefore, and take them with you, and calm them." So Jesus went, and with him he took his brothers and his sisters, and he sat them about him, and he said to them, "Why must you be an irritation to our mother and our father? Do you not recall that Santa will only give presents to good children?". And upon hearing that, they instantly calmed down.

And thus, as the vampyre attemped to seduce the young girl, did Jesus separate them. And Jesus proceeded to battle the vampyre, and the vampyre was vanquished.

"Jesus, the people's messiah. Sponsored by HSBC"

(For those unaware, HSBC is an international bank)
 
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And as Adam looked upon his newborn son, he sang:
"Daaamn that's an ugly baby!
Daaamn that's an ugly-ass baby!
I'm feeling quite concerned! My semen must've turned!
Cuz that's an ugly baby!"
 
"Jesus...you gotta try this stuff man"

"When you walk, Through a storm, hold your head up high..."

"This universe ain't big enough for the both of us."

"Why do we need two of every animal? What's wrong with one?"

"Well Jesus was coming to speak to you today, but his train was delayed. So in the meantime here's Brian."
 
Walker said:
Correction: memes aren't funny the eight millionth fucking time. This just happens to include almost all of them.
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WRONG AGAIN!

Cats were hardly mentioned in the Bible as they all burned by Satan while Doom Music played. However, Happycat went NEDM on Satan's red ass. All the cats were revived, but Chuck Norris erased them from the Bible.
 
XI: Thou shall not conduct drive-by shootings.

XII: Thou shall not use the internet for porn.

XIII: Thou shall not simply attribute memes to me and thus use them as lines not in this book for an internet forum thread.

XIV: Thou shall not go over to Suzie's house Dave, instead thou shall finish thine homework instead.

XV: Thou shall not make copies of these commandments for commercial purposes, nor shall they be used for purpose of causing hate and suffering or any person(s) or group(s). These commandments are followed at the user's own risk

And God did say unto Moses, "Grow up, you spoilt rich brat."

"Brothers, let us preach tolerance to all - except those who want to prey in Greek rather that Hebrew. Those guys will burn in hell for their sins."
 
Celestial Blade said:
WRONG AGAIN!
Click to expand...

...how old are you again?

'God, please, help me god!'
'Err, God here-'
'Please, I need your help, I-'
'-I'm unable to come to the phone right now, so if you could leave a message after the tone...'
(heavenly beep)
 
And God did look upon America, and his heart was saddened. And he proceeded to go onto youtube and he did make a video blog ranting about it.

"You know what dad? I don't think I'll die for all these ungrateful ********"

"Wait did I not put 'No Gay Sex' in the Ten Commandments? Oops my bad."

And God proceeded to have smoking hot sex with his wife for over 9000 years
 
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And so Satan went up to Heaven, and Jesus said unto him "OMFGWALLHAX!!!"
(Read it somewhere)

And so, God missed His target, and instead hit Sodom.

And so, Jesus came to be pissed and he started a fight in the temple.

And so was the first Satan/God yaoi, written by Abraham.



Gah, I'm crap at this.


(Also, Musicdragon, it's because God killed all of his older brothers and sisters.)
 
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