• Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.

    Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.

    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

In Progress Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Jirachi's Wish

Okay, I was thinking about discontinuing the sprite comic. But what do YOU think?

  • Keep making the sprite comic.

    Votes: 5 38.5%

  • Stop making the sprite comic, but remake it in written form with changes to the plot, etc.

    Votes: 4 30.8%

  • Stop making the comic, but remake it in written form with as little difference as possible.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Remake it with changes to the plot, but keep it a sprite comic.

    Votes: 4 30.8%
  • Total voters
    13
  • Poll closed .
Shining Eevee said:
@surskitty: Well, I was considering making it a written piece, but I'm much better at sprite comics, so...
Click to expand...
But the main benefit of going with a comic is that you can easily convey emotion. While the face sprites can do that a bit, half of the comic is completely useless. The minisprites don't add anything to the comic. Why have them?
 
Well, I thought not only showing the faces but the whole scene as well might be useful. But you do have a point there...
 
Well, since it's in a section where I review everything about pokemon, I'll add my critique (lucky for you, there's nothing about writing mechanics :D)

Well, based on the plot, it's seems cliche. Actually, if I remember correctly, I just finished reading something about legionary attacking each other. Although, it only seems cliche, I don';t think I can point out what exactly makes it cliche (although, I can say, it was probably the prologue).

But, one thing I do find irritating is that the characters don't seem to have any personality, and if so, it doesn't show well in the medium you picked. Sure, there's the icons, but it's always with the same couple of emotions, that don't really give the reader a wider spectrum of emotions. Not only that, but they way the character speaks is off. To give a character personality, is to give them a specific way of speaking, but here it seems any line can be switched around from one character to the next. They all speak the same to me >_>

And on the topic of talking, (which is the only forum of reading here), it just seems that everything its too fast pace. It's this, then this, then this. Shouldn't the characters talk about something not to do with the story, or just talk (kind of like when they were talking about their hangout near the beginning). And like Leafpool said before, everything could be expanded to make it more clear and a better read.

Welp, that's my opinion.

Keep it up!
 
So far so good. Nice work. Keep it up.
On issue 1 the red circle around the cubone looks sorta wierd.
Thats all.
 
Last edited:
^Weird? Also, it's orange. And it doesn't really matter. Could you at least point out something useful to me that isn't the art? Thank you.
 
^Okay, but why? You're not helping me if you're just telling me I suck but not why. If you can't even find an example of how BAD it is, it can't be as bad as you think.
 
HAVE SOME COMMENTS ON THE SERIES THUS FAR :[

comic1scene226849.png

Amnesia is v cliche and doesn't usually work that way; why is Chikorita saying where ey lives in eir introduction?
comic1scene336340.png

Why is Chikorita willing to let someone ey doesn't know at all stay at eir house? How does Terra know that ey don't have somewhere to stay? How does Terra know that ey need somewhere to stay?
comic2scene191272.png

Has Chikorita ever heard of any type of creepy bastard?
comic2scene221084.png

Infodump~~
comic2scene353029.png

Unnecessary and graceless infodump.
comic3scene196962.png

... why are they sleeping together when they don't know each other
comic3scene344941.png

... wait what? Why does Celebi feel that ey knows whether or not Terra's ready to hear it? Common trope, but not one I've ever understood.
comic4scene166747.png

... how does Chikorita know
comic4scene243945.png

Don't think 'psychicly' is a word, also what. Cubone, that doesn't make any sense.
comic4scene395807.png

Chikorita sure is a keen stater of the obvious.
comic5scene198287.png

Celebi's name is Celebi? No way!
comic5scene288834.png

... where did Cubone get the idea that Chikorita was having the same dreams just from "You see, I've been habong these dreams..." "M-me too..."
comic5scene373179.png

Why are they trusting it?
comic5scene456054.png

comic5scene532100.png

... haha what? Mewtwo seems kind of cliche villain.
comic6scene189810.png

... buh?
comic6scene292647.png

... but they could beat them. That's not a victory. They're all the way over there!
comic6scene312082.png

Why does Mewtwo need rebelling against? Here's an infodump that I actually want.
comic7scene111498.png

... why does Cubone want to join the cause? Ey knows nothing about it!
comic7scene387584.png

Whine whine amnesia whine. No, Blue Charmander, they don't know what they're getting into. Why don't you tell them?
comic8scene232994.png

"Blind as a bat" is neither witty nor new.
comic8scene387530.png

... uh, yes they will. Just because it didn't have anything in it once doesn't mean it'll continue to not have anything in it.
comic8scene437059.png

Right when a scout's in the area? Won't they get caught?
comic9scene214148.png

Infodump, generic evil villain. Why does every villain have evil plans?
comic9scene373895.png

Someone broke the seal on the evil in a can, obviously.
comic10scene217231.png

... buh? Incomplete infodump. I need context!
comic10scene396530.png

... so be subtle about it.
 
... I think you've made me realize how hard I've screwed up. It makes writing another issue kinda pointless if I can't figure out how to make it decent. I've had lots of ideas for the plot, but now that I think about it, they're all cliched or just dumb. I need a break...

EDIT: @Terry .T.: Wait wait wait, what? Jirachi IS involved in the story! Shaymin and Origin Giratina wouldn't fit into the story, and even then, they don't HAVE Mystery Dungeon sprites! Come back to me when you know what you're talking about...
 
Terry. T. said:
Well, you could add Jirachi in there, and Shaymin's new form, and Giratina's new form. THEN it'll be better.
Click to expand...

..Ugh. I' sorry, but that has to be the worst critique I've ever heard. 'Just add these, that'll make it much better!' - just because it doesn't involve your favourite legendaries doesn't make it bad, does it? Not to mention the fact that Origin Giratina and Sky Shaymin don't even have sprites yet...
 
"And Jirachi should appear around now."

... this isn't exactly your story, you know. If you want to make a story involving Jirachi, Sky Shaymin and Origin Giratina go make your own, don't try to get other people to change theirs because you want it that way.
 
Well then why do you have to take it out on others by demanding they add characters you want to their fics?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom