Post amusingly bad old stories of yours!

[Eloi]

(Inspired by this: http://www.dragonflycave.com/tqftl/?c=molrai)

Just post old stories you have laying around, have fun with it yourself, or let others do it for you, or just go around making snarky comments about amusingly bad old stories.

Anyway, here is an old Pokemon trainer fic I wrote after I discovered tCoD in 2005 while I was around eleven or twelve or so, and thought that Quest for the Legends was the best thing ever and Butterfree is the best person ever and I absolutely had to emulate them!

SO BEHOLD, THE BLANDEST, BEIGEST, RIP-OFF OF THE FIRST CHAPTERS OF QUEST FOR THE LEGENDS, IN ALL OF HISTORY!

CRYSTALLINE TEARS​

[This was (trying to) follow Butterfree's advice of not making a generic title. Of course, I failed to like, put the premise in the title, just the vaguely dramatic sounding (read: Narm) "CRYSTALLINE TEARS!"]

A middle aged woman with long silky red hair was a-huming a happy tune as she made dinner for her 10-year-old daughter.

"HELEN! WHAT IS A POKEMON DOING IN MY OVEN!?" she yelled as she saw a reptile like Pokemon wrapped in orange [sic] sleeping on her lasagna tray with sauce smeared across its mouth.

"HELEN! GET DOWN HERE!"

Still no response.

So no having lost her patients [what, is she a doctor or something?], marched up the stairs with her cooking gloves and apron still on. She knocked on the door.

"COME OUT HERE!"

She went in and saw her daughter Helen listening to rock music with headphones, shaking her head, further letting out her black hair that stuck out of her red cap.

Her mom turned off the music and got Helen's attention.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Helen asked annoyed that her music was stoped mid song.

"Come down stairs and take this Pokemon out of my kitchen and give it to the Pokemon Pest Control." her mom said with a mom-like tune.

"FINE!" she said, taking her headphones off with not much inthusum [sic] to her new task.

She walked down the stairs quickly, not wanting to take too much time away from her music.

She opened up the over and poked her head in.

"Hello?" she said to the sleeping Pokemon. "HEY ITS A CHARMANDER!"

The Charmander opened one eye. "Hey, that was pretty good lasugna, that crazy lady sure does make a good meal."

Helen was puzzled. "Do you speak English? I can understand you perfectly and I haven't went to Poke Tech University so I don't understand Pokemonspeak." She paused a moment. "At least that's what I though."

"Well its a long, long story." Charmander yawned before pausing and saying incredolusly, "What, you mean you want me to tell it you?"

Helen nodded.

"Well kid, I don't have that kinda attention span." the Charmander said, eating more lasagna. "But since I wanna lay here a bit more I'll tell you."

He sighed heavily.

"I once lived peacefully with my fellow Charmander and I was still a little Charmander when a little boy caught me with this thing and locked me in a room that had a cot and that's it. I heard a lot of talking inside my little room, since he never let me out ever.

Not even for food.

But he did let me out for battles. Anyway, the human language was what I learned when I was a baby and I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here now."

"I am." Helen replied.

Charmander started to lick his fingers.

"CHARMANDER! Tell me all ready!"

"Fine grumpy butt, the trainer that owned me took me out of my ball to battle this blue turtle, I believe it was a Squirtle. MAAAAN was it cocky! You know, I think all water Pokemon are like that, stuck up and-"

Helen cut him off. "JUST TELL ME THE STUPID STORY!"

"You sure do yell a lot don't you?" Charmander said poking the burnt parts of the lasagna.

Helen, relizing [sic] she was being rude to a Pokemon who just got here replied, "Oh, sorry, my mom just sent me down here and I was in a bad mood and-"

"S'all'ight." Charmander said casuly [sic].

Her mom came down the stairs. "YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOOK THAT THING TO THE POKEMON PEST CONTROL?"

Charmander jumped out of the lasagna pot and dripped red sauce on his feet on the floor.

"THAT'LL NEVER COME OUT!" her mom groaned "AND I JUST CLEANED IT TOO!"

Helen's mom turned her eyes back at Helen. "TAKE IT OUTSIDE ALL READY!"

Helen stood up and faced her mom like she had never done before. "Mom," she started in a serious tone. This got her mom's attention. That is so cool I can address her like that, Helen thought. "I am 10 now and I am old enough to legally own a Pokemon and all I have to do is got to Gary Oak's lab across the street."

Her mom stood there awhile.

"Well, I'll think about it. Maybe you could take that, um... Charmander, I believe, to your room until morning, okay?"

Charmander, listening to the conversation, commented, "Hey, crazy lady, do you have anymore to eat around here?"

Helen's mom looked at the Charmander, then at her lasagna dish.

"You Grumpig! You just ate my whole lasagna!"

Helen leaned close to her mom and whispered, "Hey mom, take it easy, his old trainer abused him to no end and he had nothing to eat."

Her mom then walked closer to the Charmander and inspected it. "Well, I do see 6 [sic] ribs clearly so I think we have some Poke Chow-"

Charmander winced.

"Um, no. How about more lasagna? Or not Poke Chow- that stuff is horrible!"

Charmander had some more to eat and went to bed with Helen with his flame in a pan sandwhich [sic]. Helen didn't sleep because Charmander sure did snore. But Helen didn't mind because she was too anioxos [sic] to sleep anyway.

"Helen, time to wake up." her mom called.

Helen woke up groggily as her mom hanged her clothes on her door knob and went to the other room.

"Its like, 7:00 AM, why do I-" Helen started to complain but then remembered the Charmander.

She saw him have a dream of some sort.

"Stupid Magikarp! Take more of that! And that! And some of these!" he slashed her pillow. "Had enough?" Helen looked at the pillow he was slashing, now more of a ball of fluff.

"Hey Charmander wake up." Helen said. "Time for our PKMN [sic] journey!"

Charmander slowly got up. "I had a good dream." Charmander then turned to Helen. "Hey, Helen, you said somethin' about a PKMN journey, right?"

"Um, yeah." Helen replied, hoping Charmander would want to travel with her.

"Sounds good when do you we start?" he replied.

Helen put on her jacket and cap. "Now."

Charmander blinked. "Oh."

The two went down the stairs and went to her mother.

"So, did you think about it?" Helen asked anixously.

Her mom set down her tea and looked up. "Well, I decided that you can go. Your 10 [sicx2] and I know how much children like to travel. So you can go. Just promise you'll be alright, okay?"

Helen's face brightened and forgot all about it being early in the morning. "Thanks mom!"

Her mom brought up a pack and started talking fast while packing misc. crud in it. "I packed you sneakers and jeans, nice clean clothes and panties, rubber gloves and clothes like today, and some money, and some hot chocolate in case you want something hot and-"

Helen grabbed the pack before her mom could finish and ended the conversation by saying. "Bye mom I love you!" she called. [Yes, I did in fact, rip-off a gag in the first episode of the Anime. Forgive me, world.]

"Good bye Helen! I love you too!" she watched Helen leave. She didn't know how she felt. She was happy that her daugher could finaly [sic] fufil [sic] her dream but sad that she had to go.

"I guess its just one of those mom feelings." she said.

"Hey, Helen, what do you we do now?" said Charmander to Helen.

"Uh... we go to Gary Oak's Lab to get me a Pokedex and ID. No.!" Helen responded. "See we are all ready there!"

It was a 2 [sic] story building with a big fan to the left of it, the spun as fast as the wind around it.

"Well, let's go!" Charmander said to Helen who was still marvaling [sic] at the magnifcaint [sic] labortory [sic]. They pushed the door open and heard the commution [sic] in the other room.

Charmander and Helen rushed in and saw a girl with blue hair in long ponytails on each side of her head with a blue t-shirt and shorts with a red jacking stamping her foot at the person in a lab coat with brown spiked hair.

"What do you mean you don't have anymore Water or Ice Pokemon?!" the girl yelled. "There's at least 30 water and ice Pokemon in Kanto! What kind of cruddy trainer are you?"

Helen stepped forward. "Hey, um, Mr. Gary Oak? I know this is a bad time but I'm here for a Pokedex and Id. No."

The girl turned around and spat, "Wait your stupid turn! I'm the daughter of Lorelie [sic], Pokemon MASTER, Krisy, and deserve better! GOD!"

Hlen [sic] paused and looked at Krisy. "God? That's a lie told by mean people who hat [sic] women for they blame it all on Eve and not equally on Adam and Eve! And also gay folk [sic]!"

Krisy rolled her eyes and said, "Well, yeah, duh! First no water or ice Pokemon and now this dumb kid who likes to say obvious crud!"

Helen gritted her teeth. "Keep your mouth shut unless you wanna battle!" Helen yelled.

Krisy grabbed a Poke Ball from her belt and started battle.

"GO SMOOCHUM!" Krisy yelled, and sent out a blonde haired baby Pokemon with a little red dress to match out of a Poke Ball.

"Let's beat 'em Charmander!" Helen yelled as Charmander jumped forward.

"Ya!" Charmander said assuming a battle position.

"Fake Out!" Krisy said to Smoochum.

Smoochum started to cry.

"Are you okay?" Charmander asked the Smoochum who was crying on the floor. But then, Smoochum punched Charmander out.

"Hey that was cheating!" Helen protested.

"Its not cheating, you clueless boob, its called Fake Out!" Krisy said as if it was common knowledge.

"Charmander! Use Scratch!" Helen said.

Charmander extended his hand so his nails would show and slashed at the Smoochum.

___________________

And it just ends. Woo Eye of Aragon ending!

I'm interested to hear skewering/comments (I only have to wonder what Butterfree makes of this pseudo-reflection of her fanfic), and other stories (read: Old Shames)! =D

 

[Autumn]

PREPARE TO WITNESS THE MOST AWFUL POKEMON FANFICTION EVER
(i was about 11)

“Kitsune! Wha...” said the trainer, as the golden Ninetales transformed before her very eyes. Just a couple minutes before, Emily had been battling Lorelei’s Glalie with her trusty Ninetales, Kitsune, her very first Pokemon. Glalie had used Blizzard against Kitsune. It had had a strange effect. Kitsune’s creamy golden fur was changing into a light sky-blue color; her magnificent sweeping tails turning a deep navy blue. Kitsune ran out the door to the entrance, and swept out of the building. She was heading back to the Vulpix and Ninetales pack, to see if she could find her loved one since childhood, Flame. Kitsune was sure he was evolved by now-that’s who he was, wanting to be a Ninetales since birth. “Hey! You! Outta the road!” Kitsune snapped back to her senses, as she kept going. Many people marveled at her blue fur, but she didn’t stop. She raced over the countryside. “Almost there...” She stopped in front of a single den. The one with the red rock in front. Her father was the leader of the pack, and the most respected. The leader had the customary red rock in front of the den, to symbol power. She shoved the rock aside, and went in. “Flame?” She heard a muffled sound coming from the back. “Flame?” she called again. ”Go away.” replied a shaky voice. She looked around the corner. “Flame, it’s me, Kitsune.” “Go away.” repeated Flame. “Come on out. It can’t be that bad.” Flame revealed himself from behind a rock. He looked exactly the same as Kitsune. “Y-you faced them, too?” asked Flame. “If you mean that Glalie, yeah.” Kitsune replied. “I faced it. I see you did, too.” “Yeah...” replied Flame. “Now we’re in the same boat. Two peas in a pod.” said Kitsune. “To tell you the truth, I’ve always kind of liked you.” confessed Flame. “Really? I liked you too.” said Kitsune.

And there you have it. Later, they mated and had some children. I, Snowfox, was one of them. I never actually considered being captured, what with my brilliant blue tails, my blue-white body, and my white stomach? It would have been somebody bad that captured me…of course, my thinking like this may have been the fact that Mother had been captured earlier…who knows? Anyway, I had been in the den, with Mother, Father, and the rest of the litter…

“Where are those Vulpix? And that Ninetales?” said the Rocket member. He had obviously heard about us. He barged into the den, trashing it. “Go! Hide!” Mom hissed at us. We ran into the back room…but not before the Rocket member had spotted Flake, my brother. “There’s more back there.” he said, going to the back. I scampered under one rock, but my unfortunate siblings were not as fast. I saw unwillingly what happened: He threw some balls, first at Flake, then Drift, then Frost…I could not bear to watch as he captured my favorite sibling, Freeze. He had already captured Mother, and Father had been killed by some rampaging Tauros a long time ago. I crawled out. “Freeze? Drift? Flake? Anybody?” I sat down, and began to cry…

I was left, alone, nobody to protect me. I was determined to find them. I started to look for them. Little did I know it would be the biggest adventure of my life.

Chapter 1: The Start
------------------------
I set off to try and look for my captured family. Mother had told us about Team Rocket; and what they do to Pokemon with those horrid Dark Balls of theirs, but I didn't care. My family would never be taken that way. I just knew it.
They had also said that the TR hideout was..on an island, way far away from the Vulpix areas. She had said we were..hm..where was it..Oh! Near the Berry Forest. Island 3..the hideout being on Island 5..it was closer than anybody had thought. I walked out toward the water. Island 5 was very misty; cloudy, in the distance. The ferry that, well, ferried people from island to island pulled up. "Island 6!" Not my ferry. "Cinnabar Island!" Where was that island? Mother had not said anything..I walked onto the ferry between people's legs. The ferry closed up. It started out, away from the island I had been on for my entire life.
Soon the ferry docked at the so-called "Cinnabar Island". This island was relitively small; you could see across it. I walked onto the island.


Prologue
I have been through more than you can possibly imagine. I've looked death in the face, and narrowly escaped its shadowy clutches. I've suffered starvation, worry, loss, confusion, and great sadness. I've found out what it's like to have a true friend, and what it feels like when good triumphs over evil. Not even Mewtwo, my counterpart, has seen this happen, even after finding what love meant from that kid.
I've found out what Team Rocket did to my family, and how they felt as well. Finally, I've found out what love feels like.
Sit back and be ready for an adventurous quest for reuniting. For I, Glitter the
baby Mew, will lead you on, bravely, through this heartbreaking adventure.

Chapter 1
I was sleeping soundlessly in the topmost branches of the emerald-leaved tree, my family sleeping gently beside me. Suddenly, I woke to hear hissing voices.
"We've found them," said one gruff voice.
"Operate plan M34." I looked down. There were two people, wearing clothes as black as the ocean, below us. The one who had spoken started tossing blackish spheres at the tree. I thought Why are they trying to hit the tree? My question was immediately answered when a ball hit my mother. She seemed to disappear, and a beam of red light took her place. The beam was pulled into the black sphere. All around me, similar things were happening to the rest of my family.
"I think that's all of them," said a different voice.
"Let's go." The two people escaped into the night, leaving me alone. Little did I know what would await me.

Chapter 3
I looked around, to see if any of my family had been hidden by the leaves from both mine and the people's view. Nothing. I started to cry softly. I was a baby Mew. How would I survive? Mother hadn't taught us what to do if the family all somehow left at once. Especially with me being the runt...I cried myself to sleep. My dreams were dreams of starvation and thirstiness, of torture.

I awoke, tears in my eyes from the previous night, to find a human gazing curiously at the tree. It took a few seconds for me to realize she was looking at me.
I leapt up in horror, going to defend myself if she was somebody trying to take me like had happened last night.
"Calm down," she said softly. "I saw what happened. I'm trying to help you." Warily, I relaxed my guard and sat down.
"Huh?" I tried to say, but it came out as a "Mew?"
"I'm trying to help you defeat those Team Rocket people-" So THAT's who captured my family! I thought. "-and rescue your family. If you'll work with me." I thought it over for a second, and then nodded. "Then let's help rescue your family!" she said with emphasis. She started walking away, and I followed her.

Chapter 4
"So, do you have a name?" she asked. I shook my head. "Is it all right if I name you Glitter?" she asked. I didn't mind too much, so I nodded. "My name's Katie. I really love Mew, and after I saw what happened, I decided to help." We walked some more. "Maybe I should introduce you to my other Pokemon." Katie tossed some of those spheres I had seen into the air. They opened and produced some Pokemon in a brilliant flash. "You know how I said we'd help that Mew? Well this is-" Katie leaned over. "Are you a boy or a girl?" she whispered. I thought "Girl" to her in a telepathic message. "-her. Her name is Glitter. Glitter, these are Moonlight, Shimmer, and Sparkle." she said, pointing at an Umbreon, a Butterfree and a Vulpix in turn. "Moonlight is a bit wary of new fpeople, Shimmer is a bit shy, and Sparkle will make friends easily." she said. "So let's go!


dear god

 

[Flareth]

Can't remember when I wrote this...

---

Chapter one: Tests and Tribulations

“Okay, next up, agent X509. Real name…Ai Stone.” a man’s voice boomed on the loudspeaker.

A red-haired girl looked up from the novel she had been reading. She put the volume down slowly on the uncomfortable, steel chair, where she had been sitting for almost six hours. Dr. Robert was waiting at the door.

“Ai Stone?” the doctor asked, his shadowy hair falling behind him.

“Yes sir, I am.” Ai said.

Dr. Robert motioned her to follow him through the wooden door. When they emerged, they found themselves in a forest-like setting. A mysterious-looking cave was up on a stony cliff.

Her studying would pay off. A cluster of bats flew overhead. She started to glide, following the group.

“Excellent.” Dr. Robert cried.

She landed, swift as a cat, on the gravel trail. The bats flew into a small cavern, their home.

She then felt something pierce her skin.

“The bullets.” she moaned, fumbling in her pockets.

She got shot with more of the invisible shells, while she was looking for the heat-seeking goggles. Her hand hit plastic.

“Yes!” she cried, grabbing the specs.

She pulled on the glasses. She could now see where the bullets were. She started to try to dodge the pellets. Two hit her right shoulder. It burned with extreme pain.

She collapsed to the earth.

No, if I don’t continue…I’ll be disqualified.

She pulled her body along, while getting bombarded with bullets. Suddenly, the pellets ceased. She struggled to get off the ground, but failed.

“I’ll help.” Dr. Robert said, his long, jet black hair blowing in the artificial wind.

His pale fingertips shone purple. He delicately stroked the wounds. The abrasions on Ai’s skin started to flicker out of existence. She arose from the ground, a little pain from where the wounds once were.

“You will learn how to do that soon enough.” the doctor laughed.

Ai tore off the specs, since no more bullets were coming.

Suddenly, the room burst into flames. She was ready. A small geyser of water erupted from her hands. Some of the blaze was dowsed, but the room was still an inferno.

The geyser soon turned into a wave of water. The fires were put out. Soot littered the area. Quadruped androids cleaned up the area.


----------

Of course, I only wrote one chapter. xD

 

[Firelord Alex]

What even is this story I wrote. It was called "The Evil Plan", and I don't even...


“So this machine can transport objects through the internet and into the hands of anyone with internet access and the same machine,” announced Dr. Mason. She reached below her podium for an example. It was a Chihuahua named Elanor, her pet. She placed it under the desk lamp attached to a computer by a USB cord. She made a few clicks, and the light coming from the desk lamp got brighter. It soon was unbearable to look at, and at that moment there was a flash that filled the room. All the light was gone, and the lamp was off.
A computer across the room with the same desk lamp lit up, and the desk lamp flashed. Elanor appeared right below the light. Dr. Mason got a standing ovation.
“That is amazing.”
“How is that possible?”
“I am shocked.”
“Wow!”
Dr. Mason walked over to the dog, picked it up, and scurried away.
“Remember to get one for $70 when they come out tomorrow!”

The next day arrived, and stores were mobbed. Millions were shipped out, and millions were sold out in minutes. Dr. Mason turned on the TV.
“The new Transma Light,” said the news anchor, ”is a brand new product that costs just $70. It can transport any objects to any other Transma Light in the world. It is revolutionary, and it was all started by Dr. Charlotte Mason.”
Charlotte turned off the television. She smiled, but was cut off by a phone ring. She snatched the phone and answered.
“Hello. This is Amber Weimer, I was at your press conference yesterday. We need to talk.”
“Why do you need to talk?”
“I work for the government, and we would like to have the blue prints for your Transma Light.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“You will be able to get whatever you want and go wherever you want for the rest of your life free of charge.”
“Okay,” replied Charlotte.
“Where will we meet?”
“We don’t need to meet. You do have a Transma Light, correct?”
“It is still government policy to meet in person,” said Amber.
“Okay. I’ll go by Transma Light.”
“Are you sure that is safe?”
“Er… yes?”

The next day Charlotte transported herself to a government building outside of Topeka, Kansas. It was the first human transport via Transma Light.
She was in a room that looked nearly like an interrogation room. A woman walked into the room. Charlotte was sure it was Amber.
“Hello. I am Morgan. Amber and I are twins.”
“Oh, hello. I’m Char-“
“I know, I know.”
“Oh, yeah. So what is this government business?”
“We need this Transma Light on a larger scale. We want to be able to get rid of the time that it takes get weapons, machines, and troops to the battlefield. This device is perfect for that,” Morgan explained.
“Sounds fair to me. All I ask is that I get two large scale Transma Lights and two top-of-the-line computers to match,” Charlotte responded.
“That can be done. Thanks for your business.” Charlotte handed the blue prints to Morgan. Morgan handed Charlotte a check. It was worth more than the average Beverly Hills mansion.
Morgan helped Charlotte transport herself back to her house. Charlotte was excited about what was going to happen.

A month later, Charlotte got a call.
“We have your goods ready.” It was Amber.
“Okay, thank you. When will they arrive?”
“They are currently being moved into your house through the back door.”
Charlotte ran to the back of her house. Sure enough, the items were there.
“That’s fine. I want them in the back yard.”
Charlotte watched the men move the things into the backyard with a large crane, then leaved. The new Transma Lights were the size of NASA Dish Satellites. The computers they brought matched the ratio of normal computers to normal Transma Lights. In other words; huge.
Charlotte plugged the Transma Lights into the computers and powered up the computers. These computers were designed for one thing; Transma Lights. The lights began glowing. Charlotte quickly shut down the process, smiled, then went inside.

“That Charlotte is a suspicious person,” Amber pointed out to Morgan.
“Why do you say that?” Morgan asked.
“She asked for two giant Transma Lights. What would she need then for?”
“She probably has to ship out tons of smaller Transma Lights.”
“Morgan, if they were for that, they would be at her factories. They are in her backyard.”
A woman burst through the door.
“Amber, Morgan!”
“What, Cortney?”
“Our scientists just found something out! If you point two of the large scale Transma Lights at each other and use them at the same exact time, the universe could quite literally rip in half.”
Morgan and Amber both looked at each other, stunned. Then at the same time, they realized.
“CHARLOTTE!”

They rushed into Charlotte’s backyard, exactly at midnight. Just like it was explained, the two devices were pointed at each other, ready to fire in seconds.
“Hurry, Morgan! Get the closer one, I’ll get the other!” Amber screamed. Charlotte noticed them.
“Too late! Good doesn’t always win over evil. I proved it! If I jump in between the beams at the same time, this universe will end, and a new one will form. One that I rule.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way!” Amber yelled. Morgan pulled out a gun.
“Yes it DOES!” The beams fired. Morgan fired. Elanor leapt. Amber fainted.
Charlotte fell to the ground, dead from the gun shot. The beams hit each other just as Elanor was between them. A shockwave occurred that completely leveled everything in a fifty mile radius. Amber and Morgan glowed. Elanor began to morph. A hole in the fabric of time and space formed around Elanor. Amber and Morgan turned into balls of energy, and they flew into the hole. Charlotte’s body flew into the air. It flew into space, out of the galaxy. It went to the center of the universe in seconds, also tearing the fabric of time and space into shreds.
“TIME FOR A NEW GALAXY!” Elanor bellowed. Amber and Morgan exploded at the same time Charlotte exploded. The universe went blank. Then the big bang happened.
“It’s a girl!” screamed an ominous voice. Light appeared, and so did a man in a white coat. He handed the little person to the woman it came out of.
“I will name her… Charlotte! Charlotte Mason!”

 

[Worst Username Ever]

So. This is "Darkness Danger", a Pokémon fanfic wrote by 9 or 10-year old me. Just your typical standard suefic. Badly written, hopeless Evil Team(with a leader with some pedo-stalker tendencies for extra fun) and talking, overpowered starter Pokémon.
It never got longer than this. Thank god. But the plot was pretty much Dark Is Not Evil(the "dark=evil" thing was something I was really sick of at the time for several reasons I won't bother to list at the moment) which was Siri showing the Evil Team a lesson, with her all-black clothes and Dark Pokémon and yay.
(Text like this are my "comments", just for fun.)


Part 1-The Start

Siri, a 10-year old girl with pale skin was sleeping in her bed. Her shiny pitch-black hair laid messy-ish down her shoulders. She had sweet dreams about her playing with a cute little critter with dark-blue fur, big black eyes and dark-red bat wings.
Then she wake up. "Oh, it was just a dream," she mumbled in half-sleep, opening her big, purple eyes.

(PURPLE EYES. And judging from her just waking up, they're not contacts.)

"Siri!," her mother screamed happily.
"What is it...," she said.
"What it is? It`s your birthday!"
"Oh yeah, my birthday... MY BIRTHDAY?," she yelled.
(Everyone just screams and yells in this world, apparently.)

"Yeah!," her mother said. "You`re 11 years now!"
"Cool!," Siri replied.
(Note: She's 11 because I was being oh so cool and hipster against the whole "YOU 10 YEARS, YOU'RE A POKÉMON TRAINER" stuff.)
"And here`s your birthday present!" She carried a dark grey, catlike creature with yellow gem things on its forerhead and chest and 3 pink tails. Its left ear was big and pink.
It jumped to Siri and hugged her. "Eh, what`s that? I mean, it`s cute, but what IS it?," Siri said.
(YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW)
"It`s a Sneasel! She`s your first Pokemon! You have always wanted to be a Pokemon trainer you know!"
"Eh, okay, but aren`t starter Pokemon supposed to be grass, fire or water?"
"Yes, I know... but I talked to prof.Mahogny[sic], and she said it would be just right for you!
(A Pokémon specifically selected from her... Yeah, right. I can smell the Sue-ness from here) She lives right around the corner, in the red house! Go to her, and you will get the stuff you need to be a Pokemon trainer!"
"Okay, mom! Off I go! Whee!"

She took on a black sweater, black shoes, black pants, and some cool black sunglasses.
(black is cool kids) Then she roamed to prof. Mahogny.
She knocked on the door. Prof. Mahogny opened the door slowly.
"Welcome! You must be Siri," Prof. Mahogny said. She had a white coat on with a green T-shirt and a yellow skirt underneath, and short brown hair.
"That`s right!" Siri giggled.
"Well, come on in!"

Siri entered Prof.Mahognys lab. It looked pretty creepy and dark, until prof.Mahogny switched on the light.
"Here! Take this Pokedex and those Pokeballs! And this Pokenav so you can call me and the friends you will get! But one thing... watch out for the Darkness Danger," Prof.Mahogny said.
(Whooo... things are starting to get creepy.)
"What is the Darkness Danger?," Siri asked.
"Eh... don`t care[sic] about that..."
(So she tells her to watch out for something one second, and the next second she shouldn't worry about it? Huh.)
"Okay!" Siri screamed of happiness. "I`m a Pokemon trainer! Yeah!"

Part 2-Danger of the Darkness

Siri ran away from Pitchblack City. "Bye, Mom! Bye, Mahogny! Bye, Pitchblack!," she said. "Whee! I`m out on a Pokemon adventure!"
She flipped open her Pokedex to find out more about Sneasel.
"Sneasel, a Sharp Claw Pokemon. Its paws conceal sharp claws. If attacked, it suddenly extends the claws and startles its enemy. This cunning Pokemon hides under the cover of darkness, waiting to attack its prey."
"Right, that`s how I am!," the Sneasel said happily.
(...IT TALKS.)
"Y-you can talk?," she asked.
"Of course I can!," the Sneasel said.(It... TALKS. Yup, we have a Sue here.)
"I think I will call you Sneazy!" ("I'm too unoriginal to come up with a better name, so that will have to do")
"Good idea!" the Sneasel said. ("Okay, not going to say anything about your taste in names...")


When she was walking through the grass, something jumped up and scared her.
(omg so scary)
"Poochy!" It had grey fur, with darker fur on its face, chest and paws. Its sun-yellow eyes had a blood-red spot, which matched its nose. Some of its teeth turned upwards.
"It`s cute...but what IS it?," she asked.
(behold my almost-perfect-copypasta-from-previous-chapters skills!) She flipped open her Pokedex.
"Poochyena, a Bite Pokemon. It is an omnivore - it will eat anything. This Pokemon chases after prey until the victim becomes exhausted. However, it may turn tail if the prey strickes back. "

"Okay, sounds cool," she said sharply.
(Sharply? So, really bitchy and sarcastic?) She threw a Pokeball on the Poochyena.
Wiggle.
Wiggle.
*POOF*
"B-but... isn`t t-that..."
"A Pokemon must be weakened before it gets caught," came from the Pokedex.

"Okay!" she yelled. "Sneasel, let`s fight! But uh... what moves can you[sic], Sneazy?" (For a moment there, she couldn't remeber the Sneasel's actual name... but can't blame her, naming it something like that.)
"Scratch, Slash, Ice Beam, Shadow Ball and Metal Claw, just to name a few."
("And yes, I learned those straight from the start, because I was specialyl selected, you know!")
"Okay Sneazy! Siri yelled. Use Scratch!"
The Sneasel leapt forwards and slashed the Poochyena in the face. The Poochyena tried to dogde[sic], but it was too late.
"Pooch!" The Poochyena snarled, jumped up and bit Sneazys arm. The fangs pressed against Sneazys skin.
"Ouch!," she screamed with pain.

"Don`t let that puppy win over you Sneazy!," Siri yelled."Use Ice Beam!"
Sneazy stepped back 4 steps, inhaled deeply, and let out a storm of ice of her mouth. The Poochyena tried to run away, but to no use, the Ice Beam hit the Poochyena at its weak point: the tail.
"Poochy!" The Poochyena dropped to the ground, obliviously[sic] fainted.
(It got hit so hard it didn't even know it fainted!)

"Great Siri! We did it!," Sneazy said happily.
"No Sneazy- WE did it!" Siri said.
Siri threw a Pokeball at the Poochyena.
Wiggle.
Wiggle.
Wiggle.
"Yeah! I caught a Poochyena!" Siri said very happily.

What she didn`t know was that someone lurked in the bushes, watching over her...
(oh god, creeper)
"Hmm... I first wanted to steal her Sneasel, but she could be a member of our team," a really fat man with short blonde hair, a red T-shirt, and yellow jeans whispered.
(what team? HMMM...)
He was the boss of Darkness Danger.
Now he walked to Siri...
(ohgod creepy stalker stranger danger)
"Hello! Who are you?"
Siri jumped up. "I-im Siri, b-but I am not s-supposed to t-talk to s-strangers," a very scared Siri said.
(Now get away, you fat creep.)
"Okay Siri, wanna join our team? You will like it!," the man said. "I`m Kevin, by the way!"
(NO, SIRI, DON'T. JUST GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY)
"Well...what is your team called?," Siri asked.
"Darkness Danger."
"Darkness Danger, hmm...,"
Suddenly Siri forgot everything prof.Mahogny said about Darkness Danger.
(...Strange. I had thought hearing the name would remind you about what others said about it?)
"Cool! I`ll join you!"
(NONONO DON'T LISTEN TO HIM GET AWAYYYY)

Siri and Kevin walked into the Darkness Danger clubhouse. It was...well, just creepy and dark.
("i was too lazy for proper descriptions so this will have to do")
"Hello guys! This is our new member- Siri!," Kevin said exited[sic].
"A little girl?" a thin man with black hair, a black sweater and black pants said.
"Why did you choose her? She looks weak! A newbie trainer!," a teenage girl with long, brown hair in a ponytail, a black tank top, black pants, and an Absol in her lap said.
(well, she is a newbie trainer...)
"STOP TEASING ME!," Siri yelled. "I am really strong!"
"She`s right!," Kevin said. "Let`s train her for our club!" "Okay Siri! Steal Lailas Absol- she`s the girl over there!!"
"Steal?," Siri wondered.
"Right! We STEAL Dark Pokemon here in Darkness Danger!," Kevin said. "And if they are not of the Dark type, we make them Dark!"
(Make them Dark? idk how that would work but okay.)
"Hmmmm... okay Kevin! Trust me! I´ll do my best!," Siri said.

Siri ran to Laila and took her Absol, and then ran away.
"Hey Siri-give it back!," Laila said.
(Yup. She just... took it. Grabbed it away while they didn't do anything about it. Pretty hopeless team, eh?)
"But Kevin said steal it!," Siri screamed back.
(...well, she got a point there.)
Laila ran after Siri, but Siri was in luck[sic]-she was much faster than her.
Soon she arrived at the next town.
Shockie Town. (original names galore!)
The town with her first Gym. (and if I know her right, whe'll win the battle easily...)

Part 3-Thunder Storm

She ran into the Pokemon Center to heal her Pokemon. Laila did not want to go inside, so she waited outside. (yeah, it's not like anyone will see you if you just keep away from inside of the center)
"Nurse Joy! Please heal my Pokemon!," Siri said, exhausted. (Didn't know they were hurt...)
(she just knew her name right away.) "B-by the way, there`s a girl following me! S-she won`t go away, and I think she is evil!"
("Think she's evil" okay then)
"Okay! But I gotta heal those first!," Nurse Joy said, walking into the Healing Room.
Nurse Joy came back in 5 minutes.

"Here`s your Pokemon! Can you describe that girl now?," Nurse Joy asked Siri.
"Ehhh...she is a member of Darkness Danger, she has..."
"Darkness Danger, you said? Oh no! Those rogues aren`t any nice!" Nurse Joy sighed.
"I think she`s outside here!" Siri said.
They walked outside, but no Laila.

They, however, heard some sounds coming from the Gym.
"No! Don`t steal them!"
"Pikapika!"
"Just give them to me and nobody will get hurt!"
"Triike!"
Nurse Joy and Siri walked in.
"What is this?," Nurse Joy said angry.
"Yeah Laila, what were you trying to do?," Siri said angry.
"Oh no, not you again!," Laila growled. She ran away.

"Oh no!," Siri said sadly "It`s all my fault!"
"No Siri- it`s my fault," Nurse Joy said. "Who knows how much mayhem she may cause out there!"
"Yep, that`s bad," Siri said sadly "-but I can still get my badge!"
(Her badge is more important than others' Pokemon getting stolen? Yeah, that's really considerate.)
"Yeah!," Sneazy said.

"Hey, Gym Leader!," Siri said to the Gym Leader. "What was your name again- Thundie?"
(HOW DOES SHE KNOW EVERYONE'S NAMES)
"Yes, I`m Thundie!," the Gym Leader said. She had long yellow hair with two pigtails pointing up, a yellow T-shirt with a yellow thunder mark on, a long yellow skirt, and yellow shoes. "Wanna challenge me?"
"Yes, what do you think I were[sic] here for- exept[sic] chasing Laila away, I mean?," Siri said.
"Okay then, let`s start!," Thundie replied.
"Okay! Sneazy, go!," Siri yelled.
"Pikachu, go!," Thundie screamed. The yellow, red-cheeked, thunderbolt tailed critter looked with its black eyes into Sneazys red ones.
"Use Shadow Ball, Sneazy!," Siri said angry. Pikachu tried to duck, but to no use. The black blob hit it, knocking it against the wall.
"Pikaaa...," the Pikachu said.
"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt!," Thundie commanded.
The Pikachu produced a ball of thunder with its cheeks, and hit Sneazy.

"Don`t give up Sneazy- use Blizzard!," Siri said icily.
"Okay!," Sneazy said. She inhaled deeply, and sent out a shower of ice from it`s mouth, but the Pikachu dodged it- it barely touched its tail.
"Again Sneazy!," Siri said. Sneazy did the same thing, and this time, it hit.
"PiikaapikapichuchuPIKACHUKACHU!," the Pikachu screamed in pain.
(that's... the weirdest Pikachu sound I've heard.)

"Okay, that`s enough Pikachu! Come back!," Thundie said kindly.
"Okay! Electrike, GOOOO!," she yelled.
"Triiike!," it growled. It`s[sic] green, dog-like body with an yellow thunderbolt on looked newly brushed.
"Electrike, use Thunderbolt!," Thundie said. The ball of electricy missed.
"Sneazy, use Slash." Siri was very sure of winning this.
(of course you are, you and your Sneasel are overpowered Sues after all)
"Okay Siri!," Sneazy said. It leapt forwards, slashing the Electrike in the face.
"Electrikkkk!" It dropped to the ground, fainted.

"Not so very strong, huh Thundie?," Siri asked.
"Oops, I forgot to train it, ehehehehe," Thundie said embarassed.
(um.. You're a Gym Leader, you should remember these things!)
"That`s okay," Siri said.
"Here`s your Badge- the Cable badge!"
"Cool!," Siri said happy. "Let`s go on for new adventures![sic]"
"Yes! Let`s go!," Sneazy said.

 

[SquishierCobra]

I don't have any old fics of mine, but go to fanfiction.net, and find Peter Chimaera. His fics are the absolute worst!

 

[Autumn]

I don't have any old fics of mine

You sure? You seem like the kind of person who would do a lot of fic-writing. :3

 

[SquishierCobra]

I know, but I just don't have them on a computer.

 

[Ether's Bane]

I entered Nanowrimo in 2007 and wrote this fanfic about the ending to the Pokemon anime...

I thought:

a) Gen 4 would be the last one
b) It was actually a decent fic

Even after post-Nano editing, looking back, it was still utter crap.

(For the record, I'm never entering Nano again - I'm not putting myself through that torture again. XD)

 

[Stormecho]

NaNo is a perfectly exquisite torture which also turns mealtime into a ten minute reprieve to try to plan what I'm about to do next. I adore killing myself in November.

Alas, Legend's Rage in its first incarnation was a pile of shit for three quarters of the story. I thought eight paragraphs was a long chapter and that my character was the best thing ever and that it was a clear masterwork. It also was lost in the forum crash, and only existed on FF.net for a while. I took a look at it one day and deleted it before starting my revamp.

If I could, I'd post some of my old stuff, but the first thing I tried to write? I was in Grade 6 and decided to write a fantasy epic about Mary Sues with millionaire families who went into another world and became badass unicorns. And the dad of the main character was the villain and leader of the dark elves.

Yeah, I sucked then, and thought it was the coolest thing ever. And now I think everything I write isn't that good so I suppose that shows some improvement?~

 

[nothing to see here]

Here's one of the first things I ever wrote. It's also pretty crappy... though considering that I was 7 years old when I wrote it, a few of my later stories might be worse in "relative crappiness." Mainly my first (and last) completed Pokémon fanfic, Eddie and the Food Pokémon, which I wrote back in 1998 or 1999 and would've posted if I still had a copy of it.

The Numnum Club​

One day Eddie was riding on the bus and going home from school. He was looking for kids to be in the Numnum Club. He was asking 2 girls if they wanted to be in the Club. They said no. "They're just stinkers that my Hypnotized Sea Urchins will eat." thought Eddie. But these were no ordinary school girls. They were two of the toughest badguys Eddie would ever fight. As Eddie came home, he noticed all of the cars his parents owned were gone. A note was tied to the doorknob. It showed a picture of a Numnum with a strange sword Eddie had never seen before stabbed through it. He decided to ask the Smartest Numnum about the sword. "It looks like an Ancient Kirbyish NumKiller." said the SmartNum. "What! Kirbyish! The Kirbys! They're the enemies of the Numnums!" said Eddie. "Who would know where the Kirbys had this?" asked Eddie. "I don't know" said the SmartNum. The next day, Eddie found out that the 2 girls were the ones who found the sword. "Uh-oh, no wonder they didn't want to be in the Numnum Club!" Eddie thought. Eddie secretly got off the bus at one of the girls' houses in the afternoon, but he forgot to bring his Num Coin. "Ugh, she's even got a pet Fat Kirby. Now I've got to get past that stupid Kirby too!" thought Eddie. Since Eddie brought his KirbyPopper, he easily killed the Kirby. In a hidden room on the side of the house, the girl kept her Kirbyish weapons. Another sword like the one that was stabbed through the note. A Yuckow Sword. A set of Kirby Bombs. All kinds of them. Then he looked in the backyard.

Standing in the backyard, looking straight at Eddie, was a huge Julia Dragon. "Uh-oh, this time I'd better use my Num Gun or I'll be Eddie soup!" thought Eddie. While Eddie was looking for his Num Gun, three more dragons crept up behind him. There was a Baby Dragon, a Num Dragon, and a Big Dragon. "Yum!" said all of the dragons. "Taste the Yummo Food!" said Eddie as he stuffed the baby dragon's mouth with Yummo Food. The baby dragon was dead, but there were three more left. The Big Dragon swung its huge tail, but Eddie jumped out of the way. Eddie found the Num Gun and used its Numnum Wave on the big dragon.
The dragon was washed away by the Numnum Wave. Now only the Julia Dragon and the Num Dragon remained. But they were tougher than the other dragons. Eddie killed the Num Dragon by feeding it Yummo Food. Then the Julia Dragon ran away. Eddie was relieved to notice there were no dragons left. He went into the normal-looking house, expecting some kind of badguy to jump out at him. He looked in the kitchen. Something was cooking on the stove. It was Yuckow Food! He immediately threw Yummo Food on it. The yuckow food was killed by the Yum that Eddie threw. In the living room, Eddie didn't see any badguys. Next he went up to spy on the girl's room. Then he found a hole in the wall.

The hole was a secret cave! He went in and walked a very long way. He noticed baby Kirbys crawling across the floor of the cave. When he finally got out of the cave, he was in a forest. "This must be the Roarasaur Forest!" thought Eddie. But he had forgotten about what lived in the forest: The Roarasaurs! The Roarasaurs were more dangerous than Big Kirbys and were bigger than Big Dragons. Just as Eddie started to remember that, a Roarasaur was sneaking up behind him! He heard it roaring, and after a few moments, turned around with the Num Gun. But since the Roarasaur was neither a Dragon or Barney, he didn't know what to use on it. Roar! Roar! It roared and roared some more until Eddie decided to run. It's a good thing Roarasaurs didn't run fast, because if they did, Eddie would be Roarasaur food by now. Eddie outran it, but he was still in the forest.

He finally got to Nummy's, which was just behind the forest and where he had left his Num Coin. He planned to trap Christy, somehow. But how would he catch the leader of the badguys? He didn't know. But he would try. He called for Nummy, the manager of Nummy's, and asked him if he knew what could trap Christy. "I think a food fight will get her. But not just you're everyday, Yuck-Vs.-Yum foodfight. A special one." said Nummy. "A Yummo foodfight. I'll call Yummo Food. He's the best at foodfights. He even beat that Yuckow Food that attacked FoodTown. Kersplat!!" said Nummy. So Nummy called Yummo Food, and he came to Nummy's to plan the foodfight. They knew it would be hard, but they knew how they would do it. While Nummy and Yummo Food were planning the foodfight, Christy was getting her toughest badguys ready. She didn't know about the foodfight, but she suspected that Nummy would probably attack soon. Some of the toughest badguys she had were: Killer, MARCHING MILDE, The Dummest Num on Earth, and Blubbery Blurby. Once Nummy, Yummo Food, Eddie, and the Numnums were ready, they got a lot of Yum Food Bombs and some rubber yuck food (used to trick the bad guys later on). They had their weapons and were ready to begin the Yummo Foodfight. Christy and her bad guys were now stomping through the Roarasaur Forest and were heading straight for Nummy's. The Dummest Num On Earth started to lose his brain again and started to sing "The Ants Go Marching To Nummy's", but Blubbery Blurby stuffed a huge glob of Blubber down his throat to shut him up. Nummy had heard the Dummest Num On Earth and threw a Yum Food Bomb into the forest. As soon as the badguys noticed the bomb, they also noticed they were at Nummy's and they were surrounded by Numnums and Yummo Food. At that time they were ready to surrender (that is, until Nummy and Eddie started to use their tricky rubber yuck food trick). As soon as the good guys were an inch away from the bad guys, Nummy and Eddie signaled the good guys to back away. Nummy came out of the restaurant, holding a plate of the [rubber] yuck food. Nummy and Eddie began to eat the rubber yuck food, and since it wasn't real yuck, it didn't even hurt them. And since it looked just like the real thing, most of the bad guys were tricked. "Hey Christy, these guys are eating yuck. They aren't good guys!" said Blubbery Blurby, the toughest bad guy there.
"Yeah, Christy!" said the other guys. As Blubbery and the other bad guys planned what they would do to Christy, Nummy, Eddie, Yummo Food and the numnums were escaping to the Numnum Club Hideout. The good guys had just reached their hideout when the badguys found out a really bad thing to do to Christy. They squished her flat as an Eggo Waffle, then cut little square holes in her, then they shicked her, and finally they roasted her, put yuckfood syrup on her, and ate her like a pizza.

Not only is this old and amusingly bad... it has plotholes. Both within the story (the parents'/cars' disappearance and the second girl on the bus? never mentioned again!) and when looked at next to my other stories written around the same time and later (how is Eddie able to use the Num Gun without transforming into Supernum first? and also, Christy is obviously dead here but reappears without any explanation two or three stories later?)

 

[donotlookatdiagram]

This kind of evolved into the story I'm writing now, only the only thing that really transferred is one of the OC's.

Prologue

"Um, Officer?" A young girl not likely to be over the age of twenty asked to the officer, who sat lazily with his back to her, drinking some steaming coffee that sat on his desk with five manila files, one of them quite thick. She wore a short purple dress, and had black hair as dark as midnight, and had red eyes that cut the air like a Crobat's wings (Ummmmm...... *cringe*). The officer didn't answer.

"Officer, I need to see my dad. He's named Nascour, and I need to deliver a letter to him. Mom is quite worried about him missing. Oh, here's a picture of him." The girl pointed out the picture of the thickest file, which was of a man in a tight purple shirt and a feathery purple skirt, had the same evil eyes, but there was one major difference: The hair (Can't forget the hair. Other than his hair, Nascour totally looks like a twenty year old girl!). The man in the picture had whitish-gray hair. The officer ignored her. (Ummmmmm.... This police officer is very bad at what he does.)

"Oh who needs you, anyway? I'm just delivering this letter by my self (Like a big girl!)." The girl's eyes glowed with a bright red aura and a loud groan came from the officer. The girl began to walk to the door when all of a sudden a loud siren went off.

"Oh, darn. I thought this was going to happen.(Then why did you go to this place?)" The girl ran out into the familiar desert of Orre. A blue bird with two tails and red markings on its face waited, preening itself. "Swellow, Fly to headquarters!" the girl said to Swellow as she jumped on Swellow's back. The bird flew effortlessly over the desert, braving the sandstorm whipped up by her strong wings. The girl flew on Swellow for just a few minutes, before she landed in front of a large boulder with a small metal implant.

"Good job, Swellow." The girl said encouragingly. The girl's hand glowed a dreary red color as the rock glowed the same color as it floated. The rock moved out of the way and revealed a door. The girl opened it and Swellow went in with her. The girl pointed her hand at the rock, and moved it back in place. The door led to a small silver-plated hallway with a door with many metal bars criss-crossing it at the end. The bars met in the middle in a circle. The girl ran to the doorway and entered in a code on a touch- sensitive computer screen. In response, the screen displayed a picture of the girl along with some information. The girl verified it by reading it aloud: (Yes, let a computer do the characterization for me!)

"Name: Andrea- Well duh."

"Age: 20- Yup."

"Immediate Family: Sabrina (mother), Nascour (father), Anabel (sister)- Okay."

"Hometown: Gateon Port- Sure."

"Affiliation: Andrea is the daughter of one of the leaders of one of the previous Ciphers. Nascour promised that she would inherit the rank of Elite Admin when Evice came back to power. After Greevil's downfall to Michael, she took over. –All true."

Andrea pressed the green button below the information. The computer reacted with a click. The metal bars retracted from the circle as the door loosened. The door opened automatically.

"Wow. I never thought I'd get here…" a boy about fifteen years old said. (Is he in the boulder?) He wore a plain yellow shirt and red shorts. He stood on the wood floor of a large ferry (Okay, we are on a ferry now?), leaning casually against the guardrail. He watched as the ferry approached the destination he was bound for: The Orre Elite Four. It was situated on Citadark Isle: Cipher hadn't been there in a while, and it finally was peaceful. The volcano that formed the main part recently was declared inactive (Oh, what a relief...).

"Hey, Chris, you might want to get your Pokemon ready for the battles." Another boy burst out of the cabin of the ferry (Wait, there's two ferrys now?) next to Chris. He wore a gray tee- shirt and jean shorts "Yeah, really. This is the biggest challenge since the Battle Frontier. But I have Sceptile and Frealigatr." Chris boasted.

"Yep. I'll take this ferry back. I'll Be at the Lab in a few minutes." The boy said. (SO. MUCH. SENSE. HAS. BEEN. MADE.)

CHAPTER 1- ELITE

"Go, Scep-" Chris started to say as he reached for one of the half red, half white spheres at his belt. He was in the Great Sphere of Citadark, battling Sabrina, former leader of Saffron City. She was right across from him. She wore a purple dress with red boots. She had purple eyes and purple hair. Chris was interrupted by his PDA ringing loudly.

"Oh, could you hold on a sec? I need to read this e-mail" Chris said calmly. He opened up the e-mail and read it to himself. He became enraged at the e-mail. "Damn." Chris yelled.

"Everything okay?" Sabrina asked, trying to console Chris.

"No. Cipher's back." Chris said, still enraged.

"Cipher? Who's that?" Sabrina asked. (You are Nascour's wife! How do you not know?)

"They're an evil organization, they steal Pokemon from trainers, and make them into Shadow Pokemon. One of the people I work with, Lovrina, has vanished. She was probably abducted by those heartless cretins." As Chris spoke, the more enraged he got.

"Oh? Do you need to leave? I could Teleport you where you need to go." Sabrina replied, concerned. "Yes, I do." Chris said, relieved.

"Where to?" Sabrina asked.

"The Pokemon HQ Lab. Or anywhere near there. "

"Sure." Sabrina said. Chris grabbed Sabrina's hand. Sabrina closed her eyes and glowed. Soon after, Chris glowed in response ('cause, you know, he's had psychic powers too.). They teleported to the Lab. The doors opened as they sensed Sabrina and Chris. They walked in to see a total mess. A Blissey ran around, cracking eggs everywhere there was a person (Um. That sounds so weird.). A woman in a pink dress walked calmly to them.

"Chris? I thought you were at the Elite Four." She said.

"I got your e-mail. What do you think I am, a power-hungry freak?" "Well, No. But there is something you should know. Sean was kidnapped just before you got here…"

"WHAT!" Chris screamed.

"Well, we did make it easier to find them this time around. I stuck a tracking device onto Sean and I've managed to track them down (Cause I was totes expecting this. And we know Sean and Lovrina are at the same place.). Here's the plan…"

"Ooh, what are we going to do? I so can't take this for much longer!" A tall girl with long pink hair said.

"Lovrina, calm down. No one's really going to see you." A boy in gray tee shirt and jean shorts said. "Besides, at least we can plan our escape together."

"I so don't think we're going to make it out of here. Ever." Lovrina said.

"Yes we are. Now calm down. We need to get out."

"Not without my makeup."

"No one's gonna see you. Now, decide, Makeup and living, or no makeup and dying a terrible— and very painful— death. Which one?" "

I so choose to one with the makeup!"

"Good, I thought that." "Okay, the security system—so five years ago! I so helped program it! (That was a quick turnaround.)"

"Wait, you did that?"

"Duh, I was so the smartest Admin!"

"Yeah, Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Everyone does. There is one major flaw… The system so can't detect anything when something nearby is transmitting radio signals (Why didn't you iron that out?)! Now—" Lovrina was interrupted by Andrea unlocking the metal door.

"Lovrina, I need you." She said.

"For what?"

"Oh, Cipher stuff..."

"Okay. Be back in a bit, Sean. (Um, so she works for Cipher now?)" Sean lounged around idly and fell asleep when Andrea unlocked the door.

"You... you won't join?" She said, surprised.

"Hell no. (guuuuuuuuurlfriend)" Lovrina said.

"Fine. I'll just leave you two alone. In a locked room. Alone..." Andrea said.

"We're not doing what you think we are! I'm fourteen and she's twenty!" Sean exclaimed. (wat)

CHAPTER 2- ESCAPE AND ARRIVAL

Sean and Lovrina were sleeping on a small bed. Lovrina, uncomfortable, shifted around. "Stop, I'm trying to sleep." Sean groggily said.

"So am I." Lovrina replied. The door unlocked, and Andrea walked in.

"What, does the royal couple need more suitable accomadations?" She asked sarcastically. (Um, cause I can listen in on your conversations through this door.)

"Yes. This bed is so uncomfortable!" Lovrina said.

"Lovrina, let me handle this." Sean whispered. He sat up on the end of the bed.

"Andrea, you do want us to join, don't you? We might join if you make us feel more comfortable." Sean explained.

"Well then, follow me. But just to make sure you don't do anything funny..." Andrea lifted her arm and formed a light pink bubble around Sean, and another around Lovrina. The pink bubbles became more transparent, and darkened as Andrea lowered her hand. Sean and Lovrina floated close behind her. Ocassionally, pain raced accross their bodies, and by the time they arrived, they were close to fainting. Andrea opened the metal door to reveal a rather elegant room with a larger bed (y'know, for prisoners.).

"This suitable?" she asked.

"Yes!" Lovrina and Sean replied in unison, mustering up all the strength they could. They both hopped on the bed and fell asleep in an instant. Andrea walked into a nearby room and took a chain with five small jewels set in it. She held a pink one to her body. She felt energy rush back to her body. She carefully walked her way to the other side of the room and stepped on a white pad. She pressed a red button on the module next to the pad. (SO. MUCH. DESCRIPTION.) She turned white and sparkled as she was transported to a large metal office with a large array of television screens, with a fixed view of a room. she sat at a semicircular desk with a computer and a phone right next to each other. She grabbed a piece of stationary, wrote something on it, and repeated the process with another. Then, she got up from he chair, and glowed white, and was transported to the room where Sean and Lovrina were sleeping. She placed one piece of stationary next to Lovrina and anptomisother next to Sean.

"Nett, How is this thing supposed to work?" Chris asked. (OMG, i can haz dividers, plz?)

"Well, you connect the module to the computer via wireless connections, and it overrides the login program. Just press the green button."

Nett was a skinny man of about twenty, wearing glasses, and a navy blue sweater vest over a white dress shirt, and khaki pants (Gotta have a sweater vest).

"Chris, we should get some rest before we get going." Sabrina said.

"Yeah, I guess we should." Chris replied.

"I've prepared accommodations for you. They're not far away from the supposed location of Cipher HQ. Cipher does have a lot of power, but they are secretive (Then, how do you know where this is?). Plus it's by the OBNS building. (Nothing to be worried about! Cipher has its headquarters right next door to the OBNS building!)"

"Ok, let's get going, Sabrina." Chris said.

Sean woke up on the new, cofortable bed, and noticed the stationary next to him. He read it over. In nearly perfect script it read:

SEAN-

PLEASE REPORT TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

-ANDREA (Yes, asking him nicely will totes work.)

Sean pondered what Andrea could want with him, but the "I need to talk to you" part was too vague (O RLY?). "She's probably going to kill me." Sean said aloud.

"Wha- Huh? Who's killing who?" Lovrina awoke frantically chattering. She noticed the peice of paper next to her.

"Oh? What could this be?" She read it:

LOVRINA-

PLEASE REPORT TO MY OFFICE. I MUST TALK TO YOU.

-ANDREA

Sean looked for a map of the facilities, until he stumbled upon a teleporter. "Hm. Um... Let's see... Andrea's office... Andrea's office... Oh. There it is. Sean glowed white and dissapeared into a shimmering speck of light. (Yes, lets go to almost certain death!) He reappeared in Andrea's office. Andrea sat at a small desk. Sean walked towards her, anticipating death. (O.... K..... He was.... looking forward to it?)

"Ah, Sean, glad you could make it." Andrea said.

"W-what d-d-do you want to t-t-talk about?" Sean stuttered. (I thought you were looking forward to dying.)

"Don't be nervous. I promise you will come out of this room unharmed, alive, and free."

"Free?" Sean asked. "Yeah. In fact, I want to induct you as an Admin. (Nothing Stu-ish about that!)" "Really?" Sean asked, exited. "Yes... Y'see, after the yesterday's events... I saw how you led Lovrina through that situation... I knew you had to be an Admin. But, I don't quite know about your battle skills... I'll have you in an Admin's Tournament. That is where Peons can compete to be Admins. But they are only a select few, hand picked by their Admins and I. They have shown outstanding battle skills, as well as leadership. You wi-" Andrea was interrupted by Sean, who said, "Yeah, how am I going to get my Pokemon?"

"Oh, don't worry. They are under my care (How did you get them?). Come with me." Andrea got out of her seat and began to walk towards a large door. She opened it, and went into a large, metal-plated room. Sean followed Andrea inside. There was a large aquarium filled with water, which had a snakelike Pokemon in it, with two short fins coming out of the sides of his head, and an extravagant blue tail fin. There was another one in it, but with longer fins on the sides of her head. She was protectively curling around an egg. Sean's eyes lit up.

"Milotic!" He joyfully screamed. Both of the Milotic faced him, and both swam towards the sides of the aquarium.

"From here, organize your team." Andrea said. And with that, She left.

"Let's see... Definitely one of you guys..." Sean Examined the aquarium, and noticed the Egg.

"Oh... You had an Egg (bow chicka wow-wow.)? Well, I can't seperate you two... I'll look for another Pokemon to take your place." As Sean walked away, both Milotic swam towards him, with looks of sadness on thier faces.

"Chris! Sabrina! Exellent news! A new generation of Pokemon! They've discovered it!" Nett called to Chris and Sabrina on the large screen in front of them.

"Nett, calm down. We don't have access to it..." Chris sullenly said.

"Yes you do. I've bought you two ferry tickets to Sinnoh, a recently-discovered island. (Yes, lets ignore this Cipher shit and go on vacation!)

"Great! When can we leave?" Sabrina asked.

"Possibly tomorrow. I'll send them to you. They'll appear in the capsule to the left of me. Keep connection on standby." Nett replied.

"Okay. Goodbye." Sabrina said.

"Wait, Nett?" Chris said as Nett was abouT to sign off

"Yes?"

"What about Cipher?"

"Oh, that's fine. This might help you get some info on them, Canalave City, which is where you'll be landing, is becoming suspicious." Nett explained. He then signed off. Sure enough, the tickets to Sinnoh appeared in the capsule. Sabrina retrieved them.

Yes. Apparently I thought that dividers were not necessary.

 

[AbsentNumeral]

[This is a wonderful story I wrote when I was around seven, complete with illustrations in a weird chibi-ish style where people's eyes have no pupils or irises. Pasting it in here made a bunch of random asterisks appear. I'll fix them later.]

Can this little dragonling turn into the greatest king? You'll find out when you read Allisa Quest.

ALISA'S QUEST

ONE
"Don't have your belly buttun showing" said her brother. "You will get stabbed."
"I will not!" said Allisa agrilly.
But, she went and chaged her shirt. "There" she said. She didn't like him much, because he had a drogon scractch.
Allisa looked at her Great Great Great Grand Father's sword. He died many years ago. He lived to be three hundred years old.

TWO
On his cofin were the words Pass on this Sword. Today she would hunt dragons. She set of with the sword in her belt. After a few minutes, she found a bow and arow and a camp fire. She foud a note. It said: I mu-
The ink that dragged off the paper stained the ground. It was getting late. She slept there.
IREREY!!! Allisa woke up. A Matalic-Blue Dragonling shrieked in pain. It had an arrow in its stoamach. She gentley pulled it out.
A tall boy stepped out from behind some bushus. "You broke the law of the quest!" he said.
"I did not!" Allisa cried. She took out a rumpled-up note. She read: Never do thees things: shoot a Dragon, wander of the route, and NEVER turn back. The boy read his: Rules for DragonQuest: Never help a Dragon, Shoot all Dragons you see, Never turn back, and capure anyone who breaks the rules.

THREE
She was put in a box. She got carried away. "I'm all done with my DragonQuest! 19 Dragons Killed!" he sang. He must be from Pickla, the city that hates dragons, Allisa thought.
"Home, mom," he said. He put the box on the table. "Got 19!" Then, Allisa cut a flap in the side of the box. "Time for bed," said his mom, "even though it's six in the morning, you need rest." When Allisa was sure they were gone, she went out the flap, she had cut. The door was locked, so she cut a flap in it, too.

FOUR
SQAWKA-AWKA-MAWKA. The Matalic-Blue Dragonling was there. She went around the house. It followed. It seems bigger than the last time I saw it, Allisa thought.
Tap-tap whump-whump! The Dragonling was scared. "It's OK," said Allisa. After a minute, the Dragon's head looked diffrent. Somthing wierd is going on, thought Allisa. I did look diffrent. And it looked bigger. Almost as tall as her.

FIVE
They soon aproached a huge rock. "Will you fly us over?," asked Allisa. The Matalic-Blue shook it's head. "It's all right," said Allisa.*
While they were flying, the dragon changed! Now it had a purple fin on it's head. It was taller than her! This is very wierd, thought Allisa as they landed. It was getting late. The dragon made a fire and they slept.

SIX
The next day, the Matalic-Blue was huge! It was eating berrys. It was very big.*
She soon came to a city. People were spashing rocks against leavs and weeds. "Hi" said a girl who was smashing. "Will you help me make paste?"
"Okay" said Allisa.

SEVEN
"My name is Allisa" said the girl. "MY NAME IS ALLISA, TOO!" Allisa yelled.
"We'de better get working" said the girl. "My mom likes work when it's done!"
Now, the girl hadn't noticed the dragon. "Stay with me tonight." she said. "Okay" said Allisa. Thy picked up the jars of sticky paste. "We should taste it" said the girl. "Yum!" cried Allisa.
They walked until they came to a tree. "This is my house," said the girl. "Wow!" said Allisa. The tree had a twistey trunk, and bright red leavs. The girl climbed up. Allisa followed.
"Allisa!!" cried a woman.
"That's my mom" said the girl. "Good," said the girl's mom. "you made three pots of paste."

EIGHT
"My name is Lisa" said the girl's mom. "Time for dephola" Lisa and the girl layed down a matts. One said: Ephalog. The other said: Phalog.
"What does that mean? "It means bed," said the girl. The girl spread out another mat saying Ephilog. "Ephilog means Allisa," said the girl.

NINE
The next day, Lisa, and Allisa looked worried. "What's wrong?" asked Allisa. "The army is comeing!" exlaimed Lisa. "They are on vally hill!" the girl added. "Then, I must go" said Allisa.
The girl fumbled through a chest and took out a shatered mirror. And a pot full of fizzy licquids. She pumpled through the pot. She took out a small sack. She opened it up. Then, she held it by the mirror. Some fizzy purpley-pink zig-zags shot up. Then, in the place of the glass, there was green slime. The girl told Allisa to jump in. Allisa did as she was told. She found herself zooming in a purpley-pink tunnel.

TEN
Sudenley, she was on her dragon. She had her sword. By a tall hill. Valley hill!
"Fly" Allisa said to the dragon. Up it went! On the hill an army. "Stand back!" cried Allisa.

[And there it ends, with no conclusion. Shame. I want to know how the dragonling becomes a mighty king, or whatever it was going to do.]