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Scenes from a Hat

"Ah, nothing feels better than abusing your daughter."

(....That was basically the first thing that came to mind. O____O)
 
"Listen, if you could hear the voices I hear, then you'd kill half a dozen people around you as well!!!"

Policeman: "Sir, I only pulled you over because your foglights are on..."
 
"I haven't paid any of those speeding tickets because I don't have the money to! I spent it all on crack!
...
For my baby!"
 
"so you're telling me you cut off your ear because you love her? I'm sorry, you'l have to go see a relationship counselor for that." (DaVinci may not have been big in history, but it was the first thing that came to my mind)
 
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"and the guy goes, 'of course the guy was crazy, I mean the raven was freakin' talking to him and all he does is grieve over his dead wife! I mean it's a talking bird!'
and then I realize- he's right! it is a talking bird!
 
Zackrinian said:
"so you're telling me you cut off your ear because you love her? I'm sorry, you'l have to go see a relationship counselor for that." (DaVinci may not have been big in history, but it was the first thing that came to my mind)
Click to expand...

That was van Gogh, not da Vinci.

"Mr. Freud, I think your problems stem from your bad childhood..."
 
"Mrs. Magdelen, I think you're too, er, close with your son."

(I heard from someone that apparently Mary Magdelen married Jesus)
 
(really? wow I was confused)

"so you went to Asia, introduced smallpox, and proved the world is round? Why do you need me again?"

(I'm really not sure on this one- I was drawing a blank)
 
"Okay, Herr Hitler, have you tried talking to your parents about your troubled childhood?"

(Before ANYONE says ANYTHING, 'Herr' is a German honourific, exactly the same way as 'Mr', 'Miss' and 'Ms' in English and 'Kun', 'Chan' and 'San' in Japanese!)
 
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