SCHOOOOOL

[shadow_lugia]

Oh my God so we were playing Apples to Apples, which is an awesome game to play for a large group. If you haven't played it I suggest that you do.

So, the top word will be the green card (the word you have to describe) followed by the winning red card (the thing that best describes it). Also, maybe some additional comments that were made below.

Irritating
Women
"Whoever put that, you win instantly. I'm not even going to read the rest of the cards."
(It was my card)

Desperate
Women's Soccer
(Also mine)

Patriotic
Attack on Pearl Harbor
"Well, it didn't say it had to be American."
(Mine again)

Fake
Bandy's Penis
(It was a create-your-own card, so we made a joke about one of the guys who was playing. Again, mine)

Sexy
Spit
"Oh my God, that reminds me of that video that [some guy's name I don't remember] showed us this morning, remember?"
(My card was handcuffs; it was a close tie)

Unscrupulous
Local Police

 

[Lili]

Girl 1: Aidan! Aaaaaidan~
Aidan: Yes?
Girl 1: Come here! ... closer!
Me: *overhearing them whispering*
Girl 1: Do you like Lili?
Aidan: *whispering very softly* ... Yes.
Girl 1: Like, like like?
Aidan: *even quieter* yes
Me: *blushing like a mother fucker*
Girl 1: Why haven't you asked her out?
Aidan: i don't know
Girl 2: *loudly* You do know you have a major boner, right?
Aidan: WH-WHAT
Girl 1: *starts laughing*

Oh, Aidey-kins, you silly, silly boy. Damn you not asking me out.

 

[Karkat Vantas]

Today in English class we listened to Jane's Addiction.

And discussed the dick jokes in Shakespeare.

 

[Karkat Vantas]

Today in English class we listened to Jane's Addiction.

And discussed the dick jokes in Shakespeare.

 

[shadow_lugia]

Oh I forgot to mention, we went to the museum again.

So, apparently the artist that did backgrounds for the wildlife exhibits (which are really detailed and awesome; they look completely real) hid little gnomes/elves in some of his paintings. We went around finding them all and it was great.

Also, the bus went over a bump in the road and everyone was all "OOH I REMEMBER THAT BUMP IT WAS FUN LAST TIME." We recalled a specific bump in an hour-long drive.

Finally, we went to see that pirate exhibit from National Geographic, and it was just great. There was a model of the pirate ship, and one of my friends was terrified because she thought that animatronic pirates would jump out and try to kill her or something. There was also actual pirate treasure, and one of my friends came up to me and said, "Gimme all yer money or walk the plaaaank," in a piratey accent. Therefore I climbed on top of a nearby bench and jumped off.

And our animal friends from last time all decided to show up too! Last time, my friend got off the bus and chased a couple of geese around. This time, we got off the bus and two geese immediately started walking up to us, following us all the way up to the museum doors. Then my squirrel buddy came back too, and before we knew it we got to feed three squirrels at once, and six geese at the same time. The squirrels still like Pringles, so if you want to feed squirrels in Denver, bring Pringles.

 

[Squornshellous Beta]

Derpbump

Teen sex [makes] perfect logical sense if you think about it! :D

...

...

WAIT I AM NOT ADVOCATING TEEN SEX, PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT

 

[Skroy]

Some time at the beginning of the semester in math class (Discrete Mathematics):

*Teacher (an old Vietnamese man) is at the board writing down a bunch of notes, filling up it up with a bunch of notations & truth tables*
Guy: *Knocks on door, which is wide open* Uh, excuse me?
Teacher: Yes?
Guy: Is this English class?
Teacher: *Shouts* What? ME NO SPEAK ENGLISH!
*Guy leaves in a hurry with confused look*

[I have to say, though, the teacher could've been a little less harsher to the poor guy.]
---

Also, during English while I was writing an essay test:

*Teacher notices time*
Teacher: There are only 30 minutes left. Those who aren't finished yet... *Awkward silence* ... Panic!

 

[Lili]

*in math class, during quiz*
Albert: FUCK YEAH SHARKS

 

[Ivy Newton]

This was a while ago, but nonetheless:

Sometime during math class, we notice something written in the upper corner of the board:
"Our plan: pink tartans, elk horns, blood (fake)" (I guess this was their plan for the skit competition).

This conversation ensues (slightly paraphrased):

Student: What are tartans?
Teacher: They're like kilts.
Student: So, do you own a kilt?
Teacher: I own several. I'm scottish, after all.
Student: Haha, so did you wear a kilt to your high school prom?
Teacher: No comment.
Student: Aww, come on!
Teacher: Though I will say it was not uncommon at my school.

Oh and also: "I like that they made sure to say the blood is fake!"

As a side note, this is the same teacher who has his Algebra 2 class making catapults for their final exam and another one of his classes is making Rube Goldberg machines. I love this school.

 

[Flora]

Warning: a tad...graphic. As in stating lots of violence. Be warned.

So I'm talking to my friend about my perverted ex, and this happened:

Acacia: You know how you slice onions, really thin? That's what I would have done to his balls.
Jess: *now mentally scarred* D:
Me: Acacia, you scarred poor Jess for life! *hugs Jess*
Acacia: Yeah, I tend to be quite profane.
Jess: D: *remains like this for a few minutes*

Poor, poor Jess.

 

[Ivy Newton]

So I refuse to go to prom, and all the prom committee kids keep trying to get me to go. So today one of them decided she'd show up at my house the day of prom with a dress and kidnap me, and then decided that I should go with one of our classmates (a guy) and we should both wear the same dress. Then they tried to convince the aforementioned math teacher to be a chaperone (and for some reason they decided he should bring his shotgun), but he refused because he's "so awkward at those things" and it amused me. Particularly the image of him standing awkwardly in the corner wearing a tuxedo and cradling a shotgun. Oh, and he promised us coffee and donuts on Wednesday.

Also today was student council elections for next year. The VP candidates had the best speeches. One of them was talking about how all her peers had changed her for the better and whatnot, and as a specific example she talked about how the physics teacher had taught her how to "dig herself out of a pile of crap". Then the other candidate started off with a really lame joke, then told everyone that there were two more jokes in his speech and to look out for them. During the Q&A session after the speeches: "So what were the other two jokes?" So then he proceeds to launch this long discussion about how his speech was so boring before so he added these jokes and this one was because of this and he added this joke because of this and so on. It was rather amusing.

 

[Flora]

My friend dyed her hair last night. So, as anyone would do when their friend gets their hair dyed (i.e. no one does afaik):

Nique: It looks like you need a little more on the top...*feels Jeanine's hair* your hair's really soft!
Me: ...oh shit that's what's gonna happen when I get my hair straightened on Friday...
Jeanine: *feels my hair* Your hair's soft!
Me: *thinking after getting into class* what the fuck was that

earlier she'd been teasing me about my tendency to take everything way too literally, too...I don't even know anymore

EDIT: Oh, and this from two days ago:

Me: *talking to Doc about an issue and senses something* *turns and finds Jeanine just standing there* DON'T DO THAT!
Jeanine: Idiot neighbor?
Me: Yeah...
Jeanine: Gotcha.
Doc: Isn't she funny?

 

[shadow_lugia]

*gasp* We've been turned into money!

I am very sad because the guy who said this is a senior and so he will graduate this year. No one can really make a spontaneous witty comment quite like him.

Also, in sixth period, we saw a guy in the parking lot outside the classroom by the pool. He was looking in cars and walking around and stuff, then he looked straight at all the kids that had gathered at the window for 15 to 20 seconds. He definitely wasn't a student and we thought he was trying to steal someone's car, so we called the office and reported him. Some people investigated and fanned out around the area but couldn't find him. During passing period, half the class walked by the office as he exited it. We all stared for a second and then ran away while laughing.

 

[Glace]

While walking to get my instrument before getting on the bus:

Girl: Where should I put this nametag?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I'll just put it on my boob, mmkay? <3

And during science class. Girl was practicing for Forensics competition while some people balanced equations on the board.

Teacher: Ya gotta be more influential. Don't just say "Smile," say "Smile" with a sexy tone and cocky grin while you say it. *gives flirty smile*
Girl: Okay... *talks* Smile! *makes creepy grin*
Teacher: *slams fist on desk* What WAS that?
Girl: ... *obviously thinking "What did I do?! T^T"*

And during presentations in English. Girl is talking about Normandy Invasion.

Girl: Well... As you know, a lot of people were gonna die, so the general gave a motiviational speech to pump up the soldiers.
Teacher: GET READY TO DIE!
Girl: ... *laughs nervously* So, the survivors described the invasion as... the opposite of heaven since many people died once stepping into the wa-
Teacher: You mean hell?
Girl: Well I don't want to say that.
Dude: Don't worry girl the Bible says it.
Teacher: I don't really care just hurry up already.
Girl: T-T

 

[Zero Moment]

Me:*Walking into conversation*
Girl: I'll give you all the tampons in the word!
Me: WHAT?!

 

[Flora]

And from a longer time ago (I spent SO MUCH TIME trying to figure out what this was)

Jess: It's Cory Monteith's birthday!
Nique (i.e. oblvious Glee fan): I don't know who that is...
Me and Jess: *simultaneously* Finn.
Nique: OOOOOOOOOOOOH.
Jess: And she calls herself a Gleek.

And this was today:

Girl: *points to strange unidentified object* Is that a toaster?
Teacher: No! It's an eraser cleaner!
Everyone: ...oooooooooooooh.

 

[Glace]

Talking about Belgians after I mentioned Magnum, the new Belgian chocolate just released in the U.S.

John: No, I haven't heard of it... That reminds me. One time Kennedy, you know the President, was giving a speech in Belgium. And apparently Belgian can either mean a citizen of Belgium or a jelly donut in German. So in the end, when he said "I am a Belgian" people in Germany cracked up because he was saying "I am a jelly doughnut."
Me: Cool.
Chase: So they ate him? *being completely serious*
Me & Sarah: *cracking up uncontrollably*

I am not confirming any said facts that my friend stated. Knowing him, though, they are probably false.

Math.

Teacher: Emily. Shut up.
Emily: >:? *wasn't talking*
Random Kid Outside: EARTHQUAKE! *hides in corner*

We had a sub during English today. Wow.

Sub: Alright everyone. Stretching break over. Get back to work.
Class: Ugh..
Sub: You know, I'm doing the papers too.
Madison: ... Why?
Sub: It stimulates my brain! 8D
Madison: *begins to laugh crazily*
Class: *cracks up because of her*

 

[opaltiger]

I am not confirming any said facts that my friend stated. Knowing him, though, they are probably false.

Oh my god that is, like, twice removed from the truth. What he actually said was "Ich bin ein Berliner", which is a perfectly good way of saying "I am a Berliner" in German and was not in any interpreted as referring to doughnuts. I have no clue where your friend got Belgium from.

 

[Phantom]

Back when I was in high school we were walking to the computer lab and two kids were messing around, like pushing each other and shit, and the teacher yells at them, "STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER AND GET IN THERE!"

My biology teacher walked by the fish tank and one of the students pointed out to him that one of the fish was dead. The teacher goes, "oh, well we should get it out of there huh?" and he then sticks his hand in the tank and takes out the dead fish and puts it in his pocket. Later in class, fish still in pocket, he walks to the window and throws it outside, and we hear this scream coming from outside... it had landed next to a girl who was outside the classroom for lunch. That teacher had a habit of throwing things out the window... cell phones, books, pda's, flash drives, dead fish, stuffed pheasants, folders, textbooks... you paid attention in his class or whatever you were doing gets thrown out a third story window.

The school choir was going outside for class to enjoy the fresh snow... One of the teachers pops his head out and starts talking to the choir, who then throw a snowball at him... the teacher gathers up the snow and throws it back... then the entire class and the choir have a snowball fight.

 

[Glace]

Math. Again.

Michael: Yeah, my grandparents were from Greece.
Emily: So, you're like... Greckan?
Our Table: *cracks up*
Emily: ... What?

It's Greek, Emily. My friends scare me sometimes.