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Scientists say dolphins should be treated as 'non-human persons'

Well, actually I was making fun of dolphin's inability to not make clicking noises, but okay!
 
Maybe I'm taking this too seriously but this is so exciting to me. This might be our first step towards having other species to be bros with! I was just thinking the other day about how interesting it'd be if we actually had another species besides ours to... well, coexist with as equals, like Star Trek or something. It's lonely at the top, so to speak.
 
Alraune said:
Maybe I'm taking this too seriously but this is so exciting to me. This might be our first step towards having other species to be bros with! I was just thinking the other day about how interesting it'd be if we actually had another species besides ours to... well, coexist with as equals, like Star Trek or something.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but instead of Vulcans, we have dolphins. And in place of Klingons, we have chimps. And instead of outer space, we have Earth. And in place of a utopia, we have a homotopia*




*Same place: where everything is just "okay" with good and bad events occurring, and everything not being a complete concept of good or bad. Homotopias are the most realistic future society ever.
 
Yeah, it's basically probably the closest thing we're going to have to that for another few thousand years. Maybe ever. We've got some big, big hurdles if we're going to do space travel outside of our solar system.

by the way I love Cracked
 
Music Dragon said:
See, if you'd been a dolphin right now, you wouldn't be asking that question. Instead you'd be doing some crazy somersault backflips across the ocean, or protecting a drowning sailor from sharks, or teaching your kids how to use sponges... or something like that.
Click to expand...

And/or killing porpoises/dolphin babies and raping other dolphins. They're complex little flippy murder-lifeguards. (Ignore that if you were being e-sarcastic, it's hard to tell)

Anyway! This is an odd development, I didn't think we'd gone this far in animal rights, but okay, cool. But what about chimps? They have apparently eaten human babies, and they're closer to us genetically. And gorillas can already talk to us too, what about them?
 
Blastoise said:
(Ignore that if you were being e-sarcastic, it's hard to tell)
Click to expand...

he was
also:

MD: In a perfect world, all the humans would be dead and dolphins would be the dominant species of the planet. They're so much better than us.
ultraviolet: yeah, but they can't walk
ultraviolet: so they'd be shuffling everywhere
MD: ... Or they could keep living in the water, Jess o.o
ultraviolet: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
MD: what the fuck jess. o.o Sometimes I seriously wonder
MD: what you're thinking
MD: and how it works.
Click to expand...
 
Uh, I think everyone is blowing this up a bit... their still.... well... dolphins. What am I going to get sued by a dolphin? I think I'd let it happen, be funny as hell. Wonder if they'd represent themselves? Or would they hire a lawyer... Human lawyer or dolphin... hmm....
 
Shouldn't we work on equal rights for gays and such before we get started on chimpanzee and dolphin rights?
Just sayin'.
 
Music Dragon said:
See, if you'd been a dolphin right now, you wouldn't be asking that question. Instead you'd be doing some crazy somersault backflips across the ocean, or protecting a drowning sailor from sharks, or teaching your kids how to use sponges... or something like that.
Click to expand...

There have been multiple reports of dolphins raping or attempting to rape human females. Also, infanticide. So, dolphins can be real douches... but then again, so can people. Just throwin' it out there...
 
EmeraldCityBlues said:
There have been multiple reports of dolphins raping or attempting to rape human females. Also, infanticide. So, dolphins can be real douches... but then again, so can people. Just throwin' it out there...
Click to expand...

FACT: The closer the thing is to human level of intelligence, the more immoral its behavior.
 
I concur with opal. Why do we have to deal with one issue at time? In fact, wouldn't dealing with one issue at a time basically wreck society?
 
If you're not already treating animals like leaders - erm, persons - then you're probably lacking a fair bit of empathy, in my opinion. But who knows. We are often cruel creatures.

That said, I really want dolphins to become even more intelligent so I can brag about having a dolphin friend.
 
They may be smart as in we can teach them lots of cool tricks, but that's still a far leap from human intelligence.

Until dolphins start building underwater spears and organizing tribes to better protect their underwater farms, they're still just animals.
 
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