Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

[wolftamer9]

Okay, for all of you who don't know anything about Mad Magazine or Al Jaffee, Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions is a Mad Mag feature where one character will ask another an extremely stupid and obvious question (are you the janitor? is that wall blue?) and the person being asked the question will give two or three snappy comebacks (no, I'm insane and this mop is my friend sheila! no, the wall is brown but the paint is blue!).

in this thread someone will ask such a question, and you can give between one and four snappy answers. after that you must ask a stupid question of your own.

Example:

Person 1: are those cows?

Person 2:

-no, they're goats on steroids.
-some of them are, but some are just cross-dressing bulls.
-sir, if you'd care to take of the cow-shaped glasses...
----
are you sick?


I'll start.

Is this a hospital?

 

[I liek Squirtles]

No, it´s a sick person hotel.

 

[wolftamer9]

you're supposed to ask another question after answering.

new question - are you mugging me?

 

[I liek Squirtles]

No, I am borrowing something.

Is that a cowboy's buttocks?

 

[Vipera Magnifica]

No, he's just smuggling popcorn into the movie theater.

Do you sell wrenches here?

 

[Blazie]

No, those would be what we use to beat up people who complain about our customer service. :D

Is that a wood floor?

 

[RespectTheBlade]

Nope. It's 100% grinded person, mixed with cheese and wood pulp, and painted over with brown paint and varnish. Watch where you step.

Is this a sentence?

 

[Lili]

No, it's an unfinished stateme

Is this wet?

 

[RespectTheBlade]

No. it's dry with a tinge of damp.

Is the below statement false?

 

[Vipera Magnifica]

No, it is false.

Is it raining?

 

[Lili]

No, the clouds are crying.

Do I look okay?

 

[wolftamer9]

yes, mr. mayor. now get to that town hall meeting, crazytown needs you!

do fish get wet?

 

[Chief Zackrai]

No, actually, they burn.

Is air breathable?

 

[I liek Squirtles]

No, it's unbreathable.

Is it me, or is that Brad Pitt dressed like Barney?

 

[RespectTheBlade]

No. Brad pitt always looks like that. It's barney's who's dressed differently... he looks like tom cruise.

Should I be thankful for the memories?

 

[Zero Moment]

Nah, memories are useless.
Do ya liek waffles?

 

[Lili]

No, they taste of evil.

Does water conduct electricity?

 

[Ryan the Terrible]

No, it conducts symphonies.

Where were French fries invented?

 

[RespectTheBlade]

Belgium.

What?

 

[Zero Moment]

Yes.
Do ya liek pancakes?