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What not to say in an airport

Vipera Magnifica

Vipera Magnifica

Aquatic Artiste
Pronoun
he/him
Rarely will you find a place more serious than airport security. Some airports even have signs posted that say "NO JOKES" So if you've ever had any impulse to say something, post it in this topic.


1. "No need to worry. That sound coming from my carry-on bag is just my alarm clock."

2. Security: "Sir, did you pack your own bag?"
Me: "Actually, my cab driver was kind enough to do it for me!"

3. Sing TNT by AC/DC

4. "Okay, well maybe you won't let me through, but will you let... *pulls out $20* ...President Jackson through?"

5. Security: "Here is your ticket sir, your plane leaves at gate C4"
Me: "Hehe, what a coincidence."
 
bag_check.png

alt text: a laptop battery contains roughly the stored energy as a hand grenade, and if it shorted it... hey! You can't arrest me if I prove your rules inconsistent!
 
NEVER EVER say 'Hi' to your friend Jack. NO MATTER WHAT. Call him 'Fluffy-Bunn-Poofoos' if you have to. Just DON'T SAY THOSE TWO WORDS.
 
Reminds me of this time:

Me: *standing in line*
Security Guy: Okay, so we just have to search one more bag and we're done for the day.
Security Guys: *see my red bag and proceed to search*
Click to expand...

Fortunately, all they found was a Pokemon orgy :D

And then, after the first time on an airplane for me (not too long ago), which had a lot of turbulance, my mom asked me and my stepsister how we felt.

Stepsister: It was like a roller coaster!
Me: *really loud* Yeah, especially since it feels like we're gonna CRASH!
Click to expand...
 
Run around screaming something about tax being utterly pointless and that the entire education system is screwed.

That would definately cause something.
 
"HEY EVERYONE I HAVE A BOMB AND I'M GONNA USE IT TO KILL US ALL! C:"

I think that's about all that needs saying before you get your ass arrested.
 
Security: Is there anything harmful in your bag, sir?
Me: Naw, just a bottle of whiskey an- *Tasered*

Me: *Waits until a security guard is walking towards me, then (It will require a second person for this) loudly says to a friend "And remember, do NOT EVER touch the A-Button on the DSi, or it will activate the detonator and- HEY, UH... HI, SECURITY GUARD."*
 
Guard: Sir, will you please dispose of that bottle?
You: Why? It's just a bottle of nitro-glycer----I mean, water.
 
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