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You laugh you lose (aka POST ALL FUNNY STUFF HERE)
- Thread starter Ambipom
- Start date
- Status
Manaphy DriftRider
New member
^When you see it, you'll shit bricks.
I know I'm an idiot, but I couldn't see what you were implying...
Look at Amy. Very, very closely.
Fredie
No.
Nursery Rhymes for modern kids
Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white and wipsy,
then it caught foot and mouth.
Now it's black and crispy.
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between 2 chunks of bread!
It's raining, it's pouring.
Oh shit, it's global warming!
and 1 more
on a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a women won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room; but first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. 'I'll be right back and we'll go to eat', she told her husband, and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed 2 men were already aboard. Both were black. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The women froze. Her first thought was: ' These 2 are going to rob me...' Her next thought was:'Don't be a bigot, they look perfectly nice gentlemen.' But racial stereotypes are powerful and fear immobilized her. Avoiding eye contact she turned around and stiffly faced the elevator doors as they closed.
A second passed, and then another and then another. Her fear increased. The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.
'My God', she thought, 'I'm trapped and about to be robbed!' Her heart plummeted; perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said 'Hit the floor!' Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. 'Take my money and spare me', she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of them men say politely, ' Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to then we'll push the button.' The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The women lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached to help her up, confused she struggled to her feet.
'When I told my friend her to hit the floor,' said the average sized one , 'I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.'
He spoke genially, he bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not to laugh. The women though;'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.' She was too humiliated to speak, the three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room... She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.
At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The women brushed herself off, pulled herself together and went down to dinner. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp $100 bill.
The card said. 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years.'
It was signed, Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan.
Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white and wipsy,
then it caught foot and mouth.
Now it's black and crispy.
Mary had a little lamb,
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between 2 chunks of bread!
It's raining, it's pouring.
Oh shit, it's global warming!
and 1 more
on a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a women won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room; but first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. 'I'll be right back and we'll go to eat', she told her husband, and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed 2 men were already aboard. Both were black. One of them was very tall and had an intimidating figure. The women froze. Her first thought was: ' These 2 are going to rob me...' Her next thought was:'Don't be a bigot, they look perfectly nice gentlemen.' But racial stereotypes are powerful and fear immobilized her. Avoiding eye contact she turned around and stiffly faced the elevator doors as they closed.
A second passed, and then another and then another. Her fear increased. The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.
'My God', she thought, 'I'm trapped and about to be robbed!' Her heart plummeted; perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said 'Hit the floor!' Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. 'Take my money and spare me', she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of them men say politely, ' Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to then we'll push the button.' The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The women lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached to help her up, confused she struggled to her feet.
'When I told my friend her to hit the floor,' said the average sized one , 'I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am.'
He spoke genially, he bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not to laugh. The women though;'My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.' She was too humiliated to speak, the three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room... She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor.
At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The women brushed herself off, pulled herself together and went down to dinner. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room; a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp $100 bill.
The card said. 'Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years.'
It was signed, Eddie Murphy & Michael Jordan.
Last edited:
Not Meowth
Cat, are you drilling?
Last edited:
LitatheLighmosa
New member
Damn, lost on the cookies.
Dewgongian
Second Stage Turbine Blade
I smiled and then thought it over. I don't find it funny.
EvilCrazyMonkey
will be the prettiest little girl since Zac Efron.
Twilight Dragon
"Screw morality, this is Zelda."
Thanks for All the Fish
so long~ and...
Drifloon Rocks
Honey, please don't eat the rancid dung.
Koori Renchuu
Always look for the heart in things!
___urnamz2longfixit___
Banned
The twist made me smile but the long, unorganised story written in red kept me from laughing.
Yarnchu
Yarn is comfy and easy to wear
WTF is that?
Dewgongian
Second Stage Turbine Blade
My only reaction was to envy this lady!
Twilight Dragon
"Screw morality, this is Zelda."
- Status