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  • Yeah, I saw your crush tree. o.o I don't think I've ever seen such a complicated entanglement of affections. But so long as he's good, that's one issue resolved.

    I think you should try moving to Texas again. Or pick a new country instead. I hear Canada's pretty sweet.

    Seriously, the best option might be to talk to her about it. Otherwise you're just going to feel frustrated and unhappy around her and that's not good considering she's your best friend. There has to be some way to work it out or at least get you to a point where you're comfortable talking to her.
    How's it going with the guy friend with the boyfriend? I read about that and it felt like the weirdest plot twist ever. I wouldn't have believed it if it had happened on some tv show.

    I've never actually gotten over someone in a way that wasn't "I forgot about them" (clearly not an option for you) or "I found someone new to crush on." Then again I've never really had any real crushes - most have been on political figures or fictional characters. The few that were in real life just kind of faded away - a few teacher crushes, occasionally some kids in school, and once this guy on a Pikmin forum. This was back in my "I refuse to date anyone before college" phase so even though I had to see those people every day I, at the same time, tried really hard not to get their attention. My strategy to get over a crush was "if I ignore the fuck out of them, I'll stop lusting for them and then I'll be able to talk to them normally." It sort of worked! But I only saw them for small periods of time each day and they weren't really my friends (well, the online friend yes, but he's kind of an exception to most of my crushes) so I don't think that would work for you. :c

    So tl;dr, I don't really have any advice because I killed off most of my crushes through inaction or some bizarre weird "I'm going to talk to you but never more than necessary."

    Hey, no problem. That's what online friends with love problems do. :P And I totally know what you mean about having nobody to talk to.
    Ugh, I'm guessing this is what the "DAMN YOU EMOTIONS" post was about?

    I think the only way to make yourself get over her is to pretend that you're getting over her (or so all the "how to get over them" guides I've read say). And perhaps you should tell her you don't want to hear about her boyfriend anymore? If you feel bad about it, there's no need to torture yourself by hearing it.
    I think you have to apply for the extra time. Like, if you aren't all like "hey, I have Asperger's. *cough cough* Here's some doctor's notes to prove it," they won't give you extra time. I was searching for the conditions to get extra time on the SAT, and apparently any disability will do so long as you have a doctor's note to prove it.

    Yeah, I don't expect an accurate diagnosis from a non-psychologist over the internet. But it's still reassuring to hear things like that.
    QUOTE: Asperger's shouldn't really mean you get tested separately...

    He did mention that it was "stupid bureaucracy" that got him placed in a separate room. I was surprised to learn about the extra time, but after some research I found out that it is possible to get extra time for the SAT if you have Asperger's. At least, there were more than a few people who were trying to get it and fair amount that had actually gotten it. If Asperger's were viewed as a learning disability, then it would make sense as to the separate testing and extra time. And sometimes you just get disability benefits regardless of how necessary they are... I know of people with Asperger's who have those disability parking spots. Some need it because they find the sensory overload to be overwhelming and they don't want to have to navigate a parking lot, but others don't because they don't need it/think they're taking the spot from someone who needs it/don't want random passerbys to give them the nasty eye because they don't look like they need it.

    QUOTE: Hmm... I haven't noticed a lack of coordination...

    I've seen poor co-ordination listed as a symptom in a lot of places, as well as sensory overload. Like some children just throw a fit if there's too much light and noise and such. Even adults who find going to the supermarket incredibly difficult. I guess that would be rather severe Asperger's, which I don't think he has since he hasn't... curled up into a ball and screamed when we go into places full of people with lots of noises.

    @your new post: That's the reason why I really want to know if he has Asperger's and why I keep researching it like hell: if he does have it, then his behavior makes perfect sense and it's... easier to rationalize. If he doesn't have it (or at least, isn't diagnosed), then I'll sort of be like "wtf."
    Wow, what a coincidence! Just yesterday I was talking to another member of TCoD who also had Asperger's.

    Well, the most obvious thing when you first see him is his inability to make eye contact. When he talks to me, he doesn't look at me; he sort of looks at the floor, or the table, or at the cieling, or anywhere else. He might look at me while I'm talking, but he can't sustain eye contact. When he does, he tends to hold it for too long.

    He's got these hand movements which are very peculiar and sort of... I think the word used was "stereotypied." Like, he just sort of moves his hands in the same way every time, but it's not in a way I've ever seen any one else move. A few days ago, I saw this boy with autism in a class of mine and he moved his hands in a way that reminded me of my boyfriend a lot.

    He has a tendency to monopolize conversation, which I've read is pretty common among people with Asperger's. He'll just start talking and talking and not realize that he's not letting the other person talk until he reaches the end of speech and he's like "...say something" or "...but enough about me, what about you?"

    He's not co-ordinated at all. I've read that this is a common symptom, though obviously on its own it doesn't mean anything. Once I took him ice-skating and I had to hold his hand the hold time to prevent him from falling. It was cute <3 but I noticed that he said that the blades were paper-thin when in reality they were... the normal size of skates, like half a centimeter. He's pretty clumsy as well.

    He has this interest in patterns, especially textures. At my birthday party, I gave him a cup with some plastic ridges down the side and he just ran his fingers up and down the sides and looked like he was in heaven. He's done the same thing with corrugated cardboard and my couch cushions.

    There's a lot of small things which don't mean anything on their own but make sense in the larger picture. For example, he has the habit of repeating things immediately after someone says them - echolalia. I ask him "did you parents like me?" and he'll be like "did my parents like you? ...yes." I didn't notice this trait until, in my research, I read that echolalia was common among people with Asperger's. He doesn't make small talk and he's kind of socially awkward. Sometimes I feel like he might interpret things I say too literally, or too much at face value, but he has a perfectly good grasp on colloquial English and just from hearing him speak, you wouldn't think he's anywhere on the spectrum.

    Then there's the more solid evidence, which is that I know he was diagnosed with something. He once mentioned to me that he was diagnosed as a _____, among other things (I say _____ because I'd rather not reveal it; it's his secret, not mine). His parents thought he might have been retarded as a child. I'm imagining it might have been due to a language delay, although Asperger's doesn't usually have a language delay, from what I know. He's also said that for our standardized state test, he has to test in a separate room for kids with disabilities, and that he has the option of using extra time on the SAT. He has never, however, stated what this disability is (it's most certainly not the ____ I mentioned above) and he seemed reluctant to talk about it. Perhaps even embarrassed that he had extra time he felt he didn't need. I tried asking him about his extra time again a few weeks ago, but he didn't want to talk about it (though he said he wouldn't keep it from me forever).

    He also definitely knows what Asperger's is. At my birthday party, the subject somehow turned to autism and Asperger's. A friend of mine asked what Asperger's was and he said it was "high-functioning autism." Another friend then explain some very broad characteristics of Asperger's and the first friend was like "oh, I think Jane at school might have Asperger's!" At this point, my boyfriend said "no, trust me, she does not have Asperger's." The "trust me" seemed to imply that he had personal experience with Asperger's. He didn't participate much in that conversation and it soon turned to something else.

    Ever since I first read about the symptoms of Asperger's, I was like "hey... this sounds really familiar." I've been researching it like mad since, and I've asked some people who have it (over the internet; I don't know any people with Asperger's in real life) who think it might be possible, though obviously a diagnosis can't be made over the internet. Some of my friends like to joke that he has autism or AS because of his inability to make eye contact, but they all tell me "no, he doesn't actually have AS, he's just weird." I'd be inclined to believe them were it not for the fact that he's told me he's been diagnosed with something, and Asperger's just fits it so much better than any of the other possibilities I researched (dyslexia, ADHD).
    I lost my post because Chrome died. >:x Well here's the short version:
    My boyfriend's going away for the summer. For like two months. I've known this a while now. The thing is, for someone who's going away for two months, I feel like he hasn't been paying me enough attention. School is over now and I don't have anymore exams, so I should have all the time in the world.

    Also he's an awkward person and I'm an awkward person. I've tried calling him a few times but I hate talking through the phone with the passion of a billion habanero peppers and he... didn't seem too into it. He doesn't like using IM, though. I don't know what other solution there is. We live far from each other. And... urgh, I'm just frustrated now. :| It's always better when I can actually see him and smell him and hear him. The thing is I won't be able to do that for two months and that's it's own set of complications right there.

    I'm fairly certain that he has some sort of Asperger's; over the seven months that I've been dating him, I've amassed what I think is some very convincing evidence of this. This is relevant because I've done a lot of research about NT people in relationships with people with Asperger's and it seems like appearing not to care is really common among people with Asperger's, but it's not that they don't actually care. It has to do with the theory of mind-blindness; as far as they know, the other person should know that they care for them. If he does have Asperger's, then this sort of explains his sometimes strange behavior extremely well and it also gives me the tools with which to deal with it. I'm not going to ask him about that, however, because it's sort of really rude and I think he might have some kind of complex about it. I did sort of ask him about it since he once stated that he had extra time on the SAT, though he didn't want to go into it, and so like two weeks ago I asked him about that again and he said that it was "a story for another time," although he said it wasn't some dark secret he'd keep from me forever. So yeah.

    tl;dr: boyfriend is being unattentive and I'm like "you're leaving for two months and you're being weird wtf man :c". Whenever I ask him how he is, he always says "fine." I guess if nothing's going on that's a reasonable answer, but I feel like there's something else. Maybe this is just my paranoia acting up again. None of this really leads to any conclusion anyway.
    Yeah, I've read your posts in both the Grr and Fwee threads, so I saw your angry post at the friend. It's good to see that you're both at peace now and that all the drama's resolved~ and I like the positivity that's going on. :D

    And yes, it's always worth it to skip classes for band. Well, I've never had band so I wouldn't know, but any class where you get to play musical instruments is well worth skipping for. Especially if there are floofy-haired boys in it.

    I've actually got something more I want to write, but it's late so I'm going to bed. In any case, I'm glad things are going so well for you.
    It's a shame CD-is are like £120 and I don't really need any further education about AIDS.

    Maybe we should bring this game to the attention of AVGN and he could do a great big AIDS-awareness charity special
    ugh, that's crossing a line right there. dude gtf over it

    yeah i like reading the grr thread. makes me feel slightly less like a speck
    I have a feeling that AIDS Awareness for CD-i might be a relatively obscure game and therefore far beyond my means to acquire.

    Also it turns out my laptop likes to overheat and shut itself down whenever I try to play PS1 ROMs on it so I probably can't emulate it either.
    If the only CD-i emulator I can find wasn't unplayably awful I'd be playing the ROM of it I found right now.
    holy shit sorry about that guy. he needs to either get his act together or take a fucking hint.
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