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1000 Things To Do In Walmart (or a big store)

748: Join in on 750! Double bonus points if you can get them to start Morris Dancing with you! Even more bonus points if you can do it without bursting out laughing at how stupid you now look!

747: Reach up and start putting fivers and tenners into the pockets of the Morris Dancers!

(That Youngster has made one hell of an impression, hasn't he?)
 
745: Run around each and every isle, and over each and every checkout, screaming: "OVERUSED MEME!"

744: Steal all the bananas and throw them everywhere, pretending you're a monkey.
 
743: In the spirit of the previous one, grab a bunch of bananas and take them to the complaints desk and complain cuz they're all bent!

742: Walk up to random people and tell them that since you thought of the game you have lost! Then alert them to the fact that since they have jus thought of the game as well, they too have lost it!
 
741: Use the intercom and say, "Whoever is the owner of a blue telephone booth, your vehicle is being towed." Bonus points in a man with a fancy jacket and funny hair runs out screaming, "Not the TARDIS!"
 
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740: Walk up to random people, hold out your outstretched palm saying "Mind Crush!"! Bonus points if it is to a security guard, more points if he sees the funny side to it!

739: Walk around with a papier mache Milennium Rod and hold it out and tell people they have jus been Melvin'd!

738: Walk around with a papier mache Milennium Ring and whisper to people that they will all be screwed when Zorc finally returns and you start your talk show "Zorc & Pals"!

737: Walk around with a papier mache Millenium Key and walk up to people placing it against their chest telling them they can you can see into their souls! Bonus points if you can keep a straight face!
 
736: Tear open all the packaging of all the products you can find, but don't move them.

735: Take items out of people's shopping carts when they're not looking and put them back on the shelves.

734: Take a fake gun (water gun, bebe gun, etc.), point it at the cashier and yell "This is a holdup!

733: Say "Hello, can I help you today?" in an overly loud voice to everyone who walks by.

732: Take items off the shelves randomly and throw them all on the ground.

731: Go around blatantly advertising another big store (like Target while in Wal-Mart)

730: Run around the store making a huge ruckus and pretending there's a marathon in there and that you're participating

729: Regardless of the No Animals policy, bring in your dogs and order them to attack anyone who tells you to get rid of them.
 
727: Draw a blue circle on a wall, and an orange circle on a pole. Poke the wall in the middle of the blue circle. Bonus points if someone randomly puts their finger next to the pole with the orange circle on it, more points if they're the same gender as you, and even more points if they say "Now you're thinking with portals!"
 
#726: Loudly announce yourself going to the bathroom, either via the PA or just by yelling on your way.

#725: Loudly announce your return trip.

#724:Alternatively, you could get on the PA system and vividly describe how it went.

#723: Point to a random tall guy with dark hair and scream: "OH MY GOSH IT'S ROBERT PATTINSON!!!" Bonus points if at least one girl falls for it.

#722: In any sporting goods store that has a large aquarium, climb up to the top and go fishing. When someone asks you to come down, nail 'em with a fishhook to the lip.

#721: Take an orange (or similar fruit) from the bottom of a stack and run away shrieking when they all come toppling down.

#720: Be as obnoxious as possible while loudly speaking another language. (German, French or whatever) When you hear someone mutter something like, "I wish they would shut up." respond appropriately in perfect English.

#719: Sprinkle some tabasco sauce or other similarly spicy food on the handles of as many shopping baskets as you can. People won't know anything's up....until they have to rub their eyes.

#718: If you can get a hold of some shoplifting tags (The little plastic strips that sound an alarm if they're taken past the sensors at the door) Slip one into someone's pocket at the checkout. Difficult, but funny when neither they or any store associates can figure out what's triggering the sensor.
 
717: (this is for the parking lot) Park in the back. The very back. When leaving the store, act like one of the cars in the first row belongs to you. Other cars will wait for you to leave so they can take your spot. If you do it right, they won't realize that you just walked past the car into the next row where you do it all over again. Cars will clog up the parking lot because they're waiting for your car to leave.

716: Pee in the milk.

715: Ask a little kid in the toys section if you want to make out. If they say yes, slap them and say, "You wish." Then walk away like nothing happened. Bonus points if the mother and/or father is with them.

714: Pee in the juice.

713: Lay down next to the entrance. Loudly declare you're on a hunger strike whenever people enter and leave.

712: Go up to a woman with her husband and say, "You're with someone else?!!? I thought we had something special." Then make up answers to the questions the man will probably ask you. Works best if the couple recently got married, so pick people who look young.

711: (Yes! Got the gas station number!) Tell the manager there's a problem at register 4. While he's gone, poop on his desk. When he comes back, say the stapler told you to do it, hit him with a stick and run before he says anything.

710: Bring a golf club and golf balls. Practice in the store.
 
#709: Take a bit of milk, some clear dish soap or syrup, and a condom. make a very loose mixture of the milk and syrup and put a couple of teaspoons of it in the condom. Then tie off the end and leave it somewhere plainly visible in a restroom.
 
708: Continuing with 709, bung toilet paper up the taps in the other sinks and wrap the condom on or in around the tap, so that only the condom is on the usable tap!

707: Go to the vegetable section and pick the most bizarre looking potato you can find! Then buy it! Wander around the store going up to random people saying things like "Will you look at this spud? Isn't it a wierd shape?" Bonus points if you get comparrisons to other spuds they have seen!

706: Take the spud from 707 to the Yorkshire spud show!

705: Get a group of friends together and gather broomsticks and run around the store pretending to be horseracing! Bonus points if people join in!

704: Get coconuts and split them in half! Then half of you run around on invisible horses while the other half are behind them knocking the coconuts together, making the hoove noises, and pretend you are King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table and tell people you are looking for a shrubbery, following it up with yells of "NIC!"!
 
703: Forget 704. Just throw the coconuts on the ground and then blame it on the man next to you.
 
701 Bring lots and lots of balloons, block as many shelves as you can, and ask random people if they want to buy a balloon.
 
700: Run down the aisles in your underwear screaming: 'HELP! HELP! THEY'RE AFTER ME!' Bonus Points if someone tackles the security guard chasing you.
 
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699: Go to the pet shop and ask for:

a) An Aztec Dragon
b) An English Dragon
c) A Welsh Dragon
d) A Chinese Dragon and/or
e) Shenron

Bonus points if you get offered a Komodo Dragon!
 
698: Get a whole bunch of stuff, get up to the cash register, and then purposely get angry with the cashier and storm out, leaving him/her to deal with all the stuff you left.
 
697: Join in on 698 by getting more items from random places and while the first person is putting things up on the till, duck in and add your items to the mix! Then when they run off, slink off into obscurity...
 
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